What did she want? He thought as he stood there silently watching her. Grissom always thought he knew but that was before. Somehow seeing her lying in a pool of blood changed everything.

Sara looked up from her work at the microscope to see Grissom at the door looking at her curiously.

"Yes?" she asked quietly.

It had only been one day since she had stood on the other side of that glass and she wasn't ready to give her secret away yet.

"Nothing……….I…………….I just wanted to ask…."

"So ask."

Grissom was quiet. He didn't know if she was mad or……..He sighed. He just didn't know anymore.

"Never mind Sara." said Grissom as he turned and walked away.

Wonderful Sara. You're so brilliant, she thought. Make him hate you even more.

Not that he had always hated her. She knew that wasn't the case now. But she had upset his world and now she was paying. She wouldn't die like Debbie but she would pay just the same.

Sara checked her watch. It was almost morning and she had to be in court bright and early. She finished her work and walked down to the locker room to change into her new outfit she had bought last week. It was a shorter dress that fell just above her knee but it was still modest enough for court. Sara hadn't worn a dress since she was fifteen. A skirt yes, but not a dress. This time she didn't care. She needed to change her life and maybe this dress was just the beginning.

Just as Sara was finished changing, Catherine came in. Sara could feel her stare even with her back turned.

"What? What's with everybody starring at me today?"

"Whoa! Somebody didn't drink their coffee this morning. Relax I was just noticing your attitude change," said Catherine.

"Attitude………..What?"

Catherine looked her up and down.

"A new outfit always means a new attitude in a woman. Not to mention it's a dress. Have you ever even worn a dress before Sara?"

Sara ducked her head and sighed.

"Of course so Catherine. I am a girl you know. I've never danced naked with a pole but I do have all the correct parts."

"Ouch."

Catherine looked genuinely hurt by Sara's words.

"I'm sorry Catherine. I'm just…………." Sara shook her head for lack of words. " I can't…."

"Sara you don't have to explain anything to me. I just came in here to get my bag and then I'll be gone."

Sara didn't know what to say so she just stood there quietly. Catherine got her bag and walked to the door but before she left she turned back to Sara.


" You know there are people here who care a lot about you ……..even if they can't admit it."

"I know or……I do now. I just can't wait anymore. I don't even know what I'm waiting for." Sara offered up a sad smile

"I do." Catherine answered. "It might be worth the wait Sara."

And with that she was gone.

Grissom sat in his office staring at his spiders. This is where I belong, he thought. This is the only place I fit in, alone with my spiders. Not in bed with some young girl who might want me for a second but then realize what an old man I really am. She would move on and leave him with nothing, he was sure of it.

The sound of his door closing broke his train of thought. He turned in his chair to see Catherine giving him one of her "what are you doing" stares.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

Grissom sighed. If there was one thing Catherine was it was true to form and to the point.

"I think the more appropriate question would be what do you want."

"Don't dodge the question Gil. You know what I mean." replied Catherine.

Grissom only looked at her with feigned ignorance.

"Sara!" Gil, Sara!" Catherine said loudly.

"What about her?" Grissom asked turning his chair back to his spiders.

"She's a basket case if you hadn't noticed. She's been that way for awhile but now it's gotten worse since………Debbie."

"Debbie? She saw Debbie?" questioned Grissom with a frightened look on his face.

"Of course she did. She worked the case with us remember?"

" I know. I just……………thought I…….."

"Protected her?" Catherine asked.

There was a few seconds of silence as Grissom looked back to the spiders. Finally he spoke quietly.

"What did she say?" His words came out with a certain sadness.

"It's not what she said. It's how she is. She's like you sound…………….. sad."

"And you think it's my fault?" sighed Grissom.

"Whenever something's wrong with Sara, Gil, it always leads back to you and vice versa for that matter. I've never seen two people so….." Catherine stopped there. She'd said enough.

"Forget it. Do us all a favor and take care of this, ok Gil?

When Grissom didn't reply Catherine got up and left his office. There was nothing he could say to Sara. He had missed his chance a long time ago and now the promotion would be announced any day and Sara would really hate him then. She wouldn't hang around here much longer when she found out he had given Nick the recommendation. He knew Nick was just as deserving as Sara but sometimes he wondered why he hadn't given it to her instead.  He had been Sara's mentor for so long and he couldn't help but feel that maybe that wasn't such a good thing. After all, he seemed to have made a real mess of things as of late.

Court. I hate court, Sara thought as she opened her locker. She had intended to go home and fall into bed but she had left her apartment keys, of all things, in her locker or so she thought but they weren't in there either. She never lost things. What is wrong with you Sara? she thought.

"Damn!" Sara muttered angrily. "What now?"

"What's wrong?"

Sara startled, turned quickly to see a weary looking Grissom.

"Geez Grissom you scared me. Are you ever going to go home and sleep? You look like hell."

"Thanks," Grissom smirked

He started to look her up and down.

"You're wearing a dress."

"Yeah, I've been over this with Catherine already,"  Sara replied as she slowly shut her locker door.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them now.

"I like it." whispered Grissom.

"You what?" asked Sara a little surprised. Had she heard him right?

Grissom shrugged as his eyes darted from her face to her legs.

"I told you once that you were beautiful Sara and I meant it."

Sara was speechless. Standing here looking at him this instant was like looking at a broken man. He looked much older than his years and his usually well manicured beard  looked as if it needed trimming three days ago. His weak blue eyes locked intently on hers and never wavered.

"Grissom I………………I never know….."

Grissom seemed to snap to attention.

"Nevermind" Grissom barked. "What was it you came back here for?"

"Um……….my apartment keys. They're gone."

His eyes were still locked to hers. He couldn't believe what he was saying or doing but he was forging ahead just the same.

"Then I'll take you home with me."

"

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