Disclaimer: God knows I am tired of writing these disclaimers again and again in every fic but just in case some crazed person is going around checking each fic to see if there is a disclaimer or not; I assure you that everything except the plot (about which I choose to leave the comments to you), is not mine but The Great J.K Rowling's and other copyright holders' such as Bloomsbury and Scholastic. So, it does seem rather senseless to sue now, doesn't it? Alright, if it is in any way possible to be babbling in the disclaimer, well dears- here I am doing exactly that. If you have read up to here, Snickers to all of you and no lame pun intended... Ok, to keep what little is left of my so-called dignity, I will gracefully shut up. You wanted a disclaimer? You got it... **mwahmwahhahahaa etc.**

A/N: After 'that' disclaimer which by the way came about as an aftereffect of too much coke (as in Coca-Cola not cocaine, mind you), I will try not to talk too much before going on with the fic. Again, thanks to Dru for her support- it was much needed after getting only three reviews as that was the least I ever got; but I insist to continue with this story, I like it too much to be put off by you, my dear readers.

So, here we go...

The Farewell

by Coesius

Chapter-2

Tears were silently making their way down her cheeks as she slowly walked through the Hogwarts grounds towards Hogsmeade. The information she had just learnt lay heavy on her heart, painful and yet relieving. If only she had known. Then what? Could she have done anything? She did not know. The more pressing question was what she would do now. She looked up, only to see a small hill overlooking Hogsmeade. The hill. Theirs. She walked up, curious to see if it was still there. Reaching the top of the hill, the familiar beautiful view made her smile through her tears. She turned towards the ancient tree on her left and ran her hand over its rough surface. There it was. S and L, their initials. Severus' voice sounded in her mind.

****

"I refuse to have my initial carved on a tree like some sentimental fool and that is that," he said resolutely, his chin raised in dignity. He was leaning on the tree opposite the one she was working on, looking at her down his nose.

"Too bad it is almost done." she replied, patting his leg dismissively, yet fondly. She was kneeling by the tree, her eyes fixed on the knife she was using. She peered up for a second only to see him lost in thought, staring at her. His eyes shone with love despite the gruffness of his posture. That told her all she needed to know.

"I still can not believe you are doing something so disgustingly romantic and sweet. Not to mention so Muggle. Besides why you insist on doing it this way, I don't know. Do it with magic at least, if you must. " he said, his voice low and drawling in distain as she finished the horizontal line of the letter L.

"Because doing it with magic would spoil the fun of it," she answered bossily. "Deal with it, Snape. I've always wanted to do this since I saw all the initials carved on the tree in the park near our house when I was seven or so. And you will not stop me."

So Severus had sighed and let her be. "I can always erase it with magic anyway," he had said.

But he never had.

****

It had started small. A glance across the tables in the Great Hall. Shoulders brushing in the corridors. A nod of grudging respect as both spent nights in the library long after everyone else had gone back to their dormitories to sleep. Curt comments as they were made lab partners in Potions as a result of the Professor's illusions of truce between Gryffindor and Slytherin after ages of rivalry. A forced greeting, realizing that the other shared a passion for reading and learning that both had yet to see in any other. Sharing tables in the library as an instinctive attempt of tuning out the loneliness during long nights of studying. Soon after, remarks about what the other is reading which later evolved into full conversations resulting with both of them forgetting about time. Hours of intellectual companionship and a reluctant friendship. One
that neither had ever experienced and both desperately needed. She had Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew. He had Malfoy, Wilkes and Rosier. But neither was quite accepted, neither really belonged. Both had identities set for them and both sought a way out, though neither was yet aware. She was Potter's so-called-girlfriend, sweet and innocent. He was the future Death Eater, sly and cruel. With each other, they soon found out they could be just Lily and Severus.

So, it wasn't that surprising how they had ended up in a passionate embrace between the stacks of books in the library, their lips one.

****

"Now, that was unexpected," she said softly, parting the kiss, her lips glowing red. She placed her head on his shoulder, his arms around her.

"But inevitable," he sighed, this added a new dimension to his problems.

"Overwhelming," she added, slightly moving her head so that she could kiss the vein pulsing on his thin neck.

"I think I like you, Ms. Evans," he said, still managing the superior and sarcastic voice despite being out of breath as her lips burned on his neck.

She snorted and raised her head. "You are most generous, Mr.Snape," she replied in a tone just as superior. "Gods help me, I think I like you, too."

He smiled. Not sneered, smirked or grinned cruelly, but really smiled. The transformation of his face, the light dawning in his eyes scared her. It scared her how he could change and how it was her that had caused it. Trembling with something more than fear, she kissed him again. Now that the paralyzing shock of the first kiss was gone, they both reveled in the sweetness of the sensation.

****

That year, their sixth, had been heaven for both. The world had faded out as they had found a soaring freedom in each other. Their relationship was no secret but both treasured privacy. Prejudices were overcome, both too deeply engrossed in each other to feel their weight. Oh, they did have their arguments and neither had any romantic illusions about each other. Lily would be frustrated with Severus' obstinacy and Severus with Lily's too Gryffindor mindset but nothing stopped the current of emotions coursing through them each time they even barely glanced at each other. Even the eventual familiarity did not dull their passion.

But as cliché as it may sound, Lily was soon forced to face the reality. James and the others she had dealt with using the old 'this-is-my-life-and-I-intend-to-live-it-my-way-with-whomever-I-want' routine. But things were a lot more grave and dark. That summer after the sixth year something changed. When she met him again on the fist day of their last year at Hogwarts, he had grown withdrawn, he always had been withdrawn but not with her, and much more silent. He was no longer lean and pale but thin as a skeleton and a sickly yellow tinge on his skin made him look lifeless. He would sometimes tune the world out and just stare. At those times she longed to read his mind.

Sometimes, she would find herself so tightly held by him, so desperately kissed senseless that she would feel as if she had become his only anchor in a storm and he was fast drowning. And sometimes when he thought she wasn't looking, he would look at her with eyes so intensely packed with emotion: sorrow, desperation and a strange longing that she would feel as if he was saying goodbye. It scared her but that wasn't new; his enigma, shadow and cold wit had always scared her as the ocean would scare a person with its boundlessness and depth. And she loved that, she loved his complexity. But this fear was different, it squeezed her heart empty and left it cold. She would wonder about the longing in his eyes. What did he long for so desperately? She'd wish she knew and then she would have done anything to erase that longing from his eyes.

But he didn't talk as he did in the beginning. She was weary and James would tell her that this relationship was bad for her, proving it by her reflection in the mirror. But she would not give Severus up. She would fight because this wasn't some childish infatuation, she knew. This was the love that so many died without even having come near it. She loved him. And the joy that filled her heart as, despite everything, he still whispered in that dreamily deep voice of his that he loved her just as much and even more was worth all the pain and cold in the world.

She had soon found out that it wasn't enough.

A/N: As angsty as it is, it is a love story and there has to be some sentimentality, folks. I am struggling to keep it at the right level and I'd really appreciate comments & criticism about how well I am managing at keeping the emotions honest and not exaggerated. Thank you!!