Title: Of Sunrays and Moonbeams

Chapter: A Wizard's fall, the Child Mourns

Author: Celestial DreamBlaze

Archive: SM/LotR

Category: Romances, Action/Adventure

Pairing: Usagi/Legolas

Feedback: Swt_artistia_gherl@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I do not own the Characters, though it is a fervent wish of mine.

Summary: Darkness within

Notes: Part B.

Apologies: Sorry for the long wait. The Mine scene was harder than I expected and I tried hard to keep the order of sequence accurate while trying to deviate from copying the book outright. If any of you feel it IS TOO close to the book, tell me because I'm having a hell of a time from doing so.

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Of Sunrays and Moonbeams

A Sailor Moon/Lord of the Rings fic

Author: Celestial DreamBlaze

A wizard's fall, the child mourns

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Flashback

It was cold. The eerie and dark corridors felt lifeless. She could hear the heart beating loudly in her ear.

They had no choice but to go forward, to Usagi's dismay, as the watery creature had blocked the entrance with large stones and the ancient trees.

Gandalf led, with Gimli by his side. Everyone spoke little. There eyes darting warily from shadow to shadow, afraid of what might lurk about.  Only Gimli seemed to be happy and at home at the mines, which was understandable, him being a dwarf and all, still, Usagi couldn't help but wonder why one liked the darkness of the mines. Couldn't they feel the evil that reverberated around the chasms of the mines?

Aragorn eased the hearts of the Hobbits and girls, knowing that the vast darkness intimidated them like nothing before. "Gandalf will not lead us astray, have faith for the wizard will find light in this cagey darkness."

They passed dead ends, numerous doors, broken paths and pitfalls; danger founded and passed wherever they walked. They walked slowly, their feet no longer sure, their hearts more cautious. Only the sounds of their footsteps could be heard echoing softly in the mines.

Usagi noted that Frodo had tensed, his eyes wider and it seemed as if he was straining to hear or see something. It shouldn't have been curious, but for some reason it was, and she too fell in his habit, knowing that Frodo would only do something as that to merit watchfulness.

They paused for break, stopping as Gandalf had stopped for he found their road unrecognizable; there were three passages to choose from. The tired Gandalf turned to his followers, who were more exhausted than he.

Where they had stopped stood near them a room where Pippin and Merry were glad to find sanctuary. Gandalf paused them, advising that he should go in first.

Therein the room's surface was broken with a large hole, alike to a well. Aragorn chided to the troublemaker hobbits that, if not for Gandalf's caution, they could have fallen in.

Gimli informed them that this was a guardroom made for watching the three passages.

The cat was killed as Pippin grasped for a rock and let it fall. It fell for quite a while and he wondered when it would end. Soon, after his musings, came a soft plunk, sounding very far, as it echoed back up to the well.

Startled, the fellowship wondered of the noise.

"What's that?" cried Gandalf. He was relieved when Pippin confessed what he had done; but he was angry, and Pippin could see his eye glinting. "Fool of a Took!" he growled.  "This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party. Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be no further nuisance. Now be quiet!" (taken from book.  I loved this part.)

To say the least, Pippin looked thoroughly chastised and it was all Hotaru could do to not giggle. Pippin shot her a glare. It was all well and fun witnessing a scolding, but not when it was he that was being scolded. Honestly.

Strained silence then came, waiting for the inevitable. The silence broke upon hearing faint knocks and everyone's brow creased with worry.

Silence returned.

"That was a hammer."

Gandalf replied Gimli's concern. "It was. It may have had nothing to do with Perigrin's foolishness, but something has disturbed that would have best been untouched. Let's hope nothing comes about. You, Pippin, have the first watch."

Pippin was seriously scared. It did not do well for Gandalf to frighten him, all Pippin wanted to do was cover the offending well for fear that something may well pop out. He did not.

Gandalf, seemingly asleep, was awake, scrutinizing over his memory of the mines, evaluating which turn should be taken, for if it was the wrong one, they were all doomed.

He relieved Pippin of his watch, telling the hobbit to go to sleep.

For six hours the fellowship sans Gandalf and Usagi rested. He awoke them quickly and directed them to the right passage, going upon instinct rather than memory.

The passage rose upwards, and for eight hours they walked.  The passage must have been an important one for there were no openings to galleries or tunnels and the trail was without cracks or holes.  They walked steadily onward, faster than their original pace.

Frodo lightened, his thoughts not so darkened by fear but he was still disturbed. He could hear a footstep not their own and not an echo and could only wonder, with mounting worry, what could be following them. He had his doubts, that the being was unfriendly, but his much more experienced and wise friends seemed unperturbed so he kept silent.

The passage gave way to a black an empty cavern beyond its arched doorway. Gandalf was pleased to know he chose the right path.

He raised his staff and the emptiness was seized with light.  They could now see an immense roof above their heads held by powerful pillars of stone. It was a huge empty hall and at its end stood three entrances, one before them and the others on either side.

The fellowship took their rest, huddled together in the corner of the hall.

Usagi shivered, her thoughts lost as the fellowship spoke of the Dwarves lore, she had felt trapped within the small confines of the mine's halls but now, amongst the open space, the dark suffocated her to a magnitude where she was paralyzed with fear. She did not like such emptiness in the dark; many things could creep from nowhere and render them trapped.

Frodo was frozen, the immense tale of the dwarves and mithril, true silver, having caught him surprised. He couldn't believe that what he wore beneath his tunic was valued so. Ill thoughts seized him; he no longer wished for adventure, no longer wanted to know what was beyond the shire; he wished none of this was happening and that he wasn't caught in the middle. This was too much for him.

A hand fell to his shoulders and he looked into the kind and caring eyes of Usagi. His previous thoughts forgotten, he once again pondered of Usagi's true origins; of where she came from and what her purpose was. He knew there was more to Usagi's wish of tagging along with her brother and helping out. He knew there was some truer purpose, something bigger than what she explained to them all. But what?

The day had awoken, and faint glimmers of light peaked from the shaft above the eastern archway.

"Soon enough, we shall see the Great Gates and the waters of Mirrormere in Dimrill Dale. This is a good tiding, for it means we shall soon leave this darkness."

Gimli looked forlorn, his eyes wistful as he gazed upon the room. "I shall be glad to leave, I have seen Moria, the darkness and emptiness has taken away its hall and its greatness. There has been no sign of my kindred; I don't think Balin ever came to Moria.

They started off again. Gandalf was unsure of his path, but they followed the light in the north door. Soon, they found themselves in a wide corridor, as they walked, light grew and saw that its origins came through a doorway to the right.

Entering the room, the fellowship was greeted with the room in shambles, lying with dust-covered shapes unrecognizable to their eyes. Lit by a wide shaft, they could see the blue sky through it, a comforting thought that they were so close to be outside. The light fell on a table in the middle of a room; there it lay, a two feet high dais that held a great slab of white stone.

Frodo's senses pricked as he and Gandalf got a closer look at it. Runes were carved deeply into it, next to it carvings written of men and dwarves.

BALIN SON OF FUNDIN

LORD OF MORIA.

Gimli looked on, his face grave with sadness. "I feared this had happen."

Silence held the fellowship as their hearts came to acknowledge the weight of their journey. Usagi's emotions were grim. She'd hope this wouldn't happen, hoped that falls as this would not come…it was foolish of her to hope so.

They searched, looking for evidence of why his fall happened. Another door was found on the other side of the chamber and Usagi was saddened to see the numerous bones and broken weapons and shields lying about.

Gandalf found a record, a book so horribly damaged with slashes, burns, and bloodied stains. It was with ill foreboding that he read as the fellowship listened on. The last part was gruesome as it spoke of Balin and his company's fall.

We cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and second hall. Frár and Lóni and Náli fell there.

…Went 5 days ago…

…The pool is up to the wall at Westgate. The Watcher in the Water took Óin. We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep…

…They are coming.

They realized that where they stood was the Dwarves last stand and it once again became imperative that they leave quickly.

The book had given them what they needed, Gandalf knew which direction to go. "…Come now! Back to the hall!"

As he finished saying these words, the mines were interrupted by a great noise, rising from the depths below, causing the floor to tremble at their feet.

The noise trembled and rolled again, distantly a horn was blown and echoed in the hall. The noise arose as horns replied and cries came to a crescendo of echo about the hall. Footsteps could be heard scuttling about.

It is as it was in the books as terror leapt into their souls.

"They are coming!" cried Legolas.*

"We cannot get out," said Gimli.

"Trapped!" cried Gandalf. "Why did I delay, here we are caught just as they were before. But I was not here then. We will see what—"

Doom

Doom

The noise got louder…

Aragorn urged everyone to close the door, only to be denied by Gandalf. "We cannot seal ourselves. We won't be able to get out if we do. We will go through there when we get the chance."

The noise steadily got closer…

Glamdring and Sting glowed.

Boromir set out to close the western door and yet again, Gandalf stopped him.

He went and spoke loudly to the offenders. "Who comes to disturb Balin Lord of Moria's peace?"

Laughter was all he received. Gandalf stood before the entrance and held out his staff, light spurt from it and spread through the chamber and the passage outside. He looked out to see their foe.

"Orcs are coming, countless of them." He spoke, his mind reeling with possible ways to get out. "The black Uruks of Mordor are there, but they are stilled for now. there is also cave-trolls, possibly more than one. We cannot get out that way."

"And no hope at all, if they block the other door as well." Said Boromir.*

"It is still quiet." Said Aragorn, as he listened for signs of movement by the eastern door. "This passage goes straight down a stair, it does not lead back to the hall. If we are to go that way, we must do something to stall the enemy. We will make them fear the chamber of Mazarbul!" he said grimly, feeling the edge of his sword, Andúril.*

Boromir sealed the door as best he could, his efforts proved to be in vain as the door was struck and it slowly open. He attacked the creature, trying to slice its massive arm and again he failed as his sword recoiled and fell from his arm. The blade was toothed.

Usagi, about to use her own sword to slay the enemy's hand grew surprised as Frodo suddenly lurched next to Boromir, crying "the Shire!" and stabbed the creatures toeless foot. A bellow resounded on the other side of the door and the foot retreated, nearly wrenching the sword Sting from Frodo's hold. Boromir again closed the door.

"One for the Shire!" cried Aragorn. "The hobbit's bite is deep! You have a good blade, Frodo son of Drogo!"*

They prepared themselves as the door was attacked once again. They could hear the poundings of hammers and rams hit the door.

Usagi shielded Hotaru and the hobbits, as the door crashed open and arrows came shooting through the air. Orcs came, how many, they didn't know. The fellowship attacked, hacking away at the enemy with vigor much to the enemy's consternation. When the strength of the fellowship, Borimor, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas, managed to slay thirteen, the Orcs held back and retreated into the darkness.

This was their chance to run away as the enemy stopped to regroup.

Yet, as they prepared to flee, a huge orc-chieftain sprung from the door. Turning Boromir over, swiftly avoiding Aragorn's blow, he struck through the company, his spear aimed at Frodo. It struck and Frodo was flown against the wall and pinned. Sam, alarmed, hacked at the spear and using Andúril, Aragorn slain the chieftain. Its followers fled as Boromir and Aragorn headed for them.

The drums came again.

Doom

Doom

"Now!" shouted Gandalf. "Now is the last chance. Run for it."

Aragorn carried the wounded Frodo, urging Merry and Pippin forward as they were in front of him. Gimli, still saddened by Balin's death, had to be removed by Legolas. Boromir sealed the eastern door as best he could and the fellowship left for the stairs.

Frodo, his breath still winded from the attack, struggled in Aragorn's arms. "I am fine. Let me down, I can walk myself."

Amazed, Aragorn cried "I thought we had lost you."

Gandalf ceased the chatter. "There is no time for questions, you must go now. Wait for me down the stairs but if I do not return within a few minutes leave. Choose the paths leading right and downwards."

"We cannot leave you here alone!" said Aragorn, seeing the folly in leaving his dear friend behind.

"Do as I say!" said Gandalf fiercely*, determined to get the fellowship to safety. "Swords are useless here. Go!"

They went down the steep passageway, the caverns once again dark. They waited for him, peering avidly above for any sign of his danger. A bright flash lit the rooms and Gandalf was soon with them.

Hotaru, worried for her friend, went to him, preparing to heal him as he seemed to be out of sorts.

Gandalf looked at her, shaking his head with kind eyes before turning to the fellowship, his voice grave. "Well, well! That's over!" said the wizard struggling to his feet. "I have done all that I could. But I have met my match, and have nearly been destroyed. But don't stand here! Go on! You will have to do without light for a while: I am rather shaken. Go on! Go on! Where are you, Gimli? Come ahead with me! Keep close behind, all of you!"

They descended after him, going lower and lower and the sounds of the beating drums seemed far away. They could hear no noises save their own feet. There current danger was falling, for they could not see their steps until they put their feet upon it. They walked blind.

They reached the bottom of the seventh flight of stares and Gandalf halted.

"We must be at the level of the Gates now. I hope it is not far. I am tired and I must rest."

Gimli helped seat him. "What happened up there? Do you know who beats the drum?"

"No. All I know is it is something I have not faced before. It took a while, but I used a shutting spell on the door. Still, the door can be broken by strength.

"I could hear the orcs, they could have broke through at any moment. I could not make out their speaking but I did catch them saying ghâsh, meaning 'fire.' Then I felt it, something came through the chamber and it seemed the Orcs were afraid of it for they fell silent. It knew what I was trying to do.

"I cannot guess what it is but I never before faced an opponent such as this. Its counter-spell almost broke me. For an instant, the door was no longer in my control and was slowly opening. I had to speak a word of Command. It strained me and the door broke to pieces.

"A shadow as dark as a cloud blocked the light inside, and I was thrown down the stairs. The wall gave way, and I think the roof of the chamber fell also.

"At least the passage behind us is blocked. I have never felt so tired. Now, Frodo, what is your story? I was so glad to hear your voice for I feared the worse."

"I am fine, bruised and pained, but fine."

"Well," said Aragorn. "I can only say that hobbits are made of a stuff so tough that I have never met the like of it. Had I known, I would have spoken softer in the Inn at Bree! That spear-thrust would have skewered a wild boar!"*

Usagi rolled her eyes at Aragorn's contrast. She would have retorted his quip but felt that Aragorn's words were the right thing to lighten the mood so kept quiet.

"well, it did not skewer me, I am glad to say," said Frodo; "though I feel as if I had been caught between a hammer and an anvil." He said no more.* Breathing itself was proving to be too painful for him.

"You are just like Bilbo," said Gandalf. "There is more to you than meets the eye, as I told him once long ago." Frodo wondered if the remark meant more than it said.

They went on, and noticed a red light in the dark.

Gandalf wondered if this was what the Orcs spoke of.

They went lower and the air grew hot. They soon came to a low archway and when Gandalf went through his face glowed. He took a step back.

"This does not mean good. But I do know we've reached the First Deep, we are above the gates, this is the Second Hall of Old Moria and the gates are beyond the eastern end, not a quarter of a mile away. We just have to go across the bridge, up a set of stairs, follow a road, through the First Hall then where out."

It was another hall, longer than the one they had slept in. A fissure had opened near the feet of two huge pillars. Red flames came and went, caressing the base of the columns, smoke floated about the cavern.

"It is fortunate that we have come this way, had we taken the other path we would have been trapped down here." Said Gandalf. "Come! There is no time to lose*"

Doom

Doom

Doom

The enemy was in pursuit once again.

"We still have a chance of escape, follow me!"

Gandalf turned left and ran across the hall. The hall's length was greater than it looked. Soon, the enemy's footsteps could be heard from behind and arrows swept past them.

"Look, the Bridge is before us. But be careful, it is dangerous and narrow."

Usagi, along with the others, ran after him, keeping a vigil eye on Hotaru. The heat burned at her excruciatingly. Suddenly, she was besieged with a memory—a nightmare.

She remembered sitting on the table, then she was suddenly seized with a headache, clutching her head in pain as her erratic movement caused the dishes to fall down the floor with a clatter.

Usagi remembered wondering what was happening to her. Why it hurt so much.

It felt like she was dying—no, it was worse than dying, it was living with wanting to die, wanting to escape the excruciating pain she experienced. Wanting to run from the hurt. Her body screamed at the unseen force that seemed to pierce her skin, her head throbbing fiercely, as if it would explode, her heart pounded loudly in her chest; filled with fear.

She remembered screaming, it felt like every single part of her was being ruthlessly squeezed, was being sucked dry. The pain wouldn't leave her and she could only sob from the onslaught of her torment.

Then she fell.

Dimly, after the shock, after the blockage of pain, she could feel something soothe her. Warmth that washed over her senses and sung to her gently.

She remembered wondering why she feared.

Now she knew.

The darkness she so feared, the balance of being Cosmos had awakened. Along with her powers of light, so had the darkness rose forth. Now… now, she had to take care of what she did. Anything that happened would tip the scale.

With a worried glance, she looked at the fellowship, her daughter. She had to leave. She could not jeopardize the mission. Frodo. She could hurt Frodo. She knew what the ring was. Knew that darkness always craved for power, knew that, when her time came, she would crave it too.

No!

She couldn't let herself succumb. She would not give into the darkness so easily. Not now that her life was back in order. Not now, not when she had a chance of happiness.

Her eyes darkened, she looked into the inky darkness, searching pass the depths of emptiness for cores of evil. The place was rife with ancient magic, most unknown like the vestiges of planets hidden under giant dwarves and black holes. This is where the enemy lurked; here is where the battle could be lost.

This was the beginning of the end. 

She slowed, following behind the group, her heart seeking the unknown, her soul taking in her surroundings.

A chill swept her, passing through the foundation of her being, Usagi tightened the hold of the infamous Sword of Diana, bestowed upon her by Minako, the Soldier of Venus, who felt that her former liege did not have sufficient protection. Somehow, it was as if Minako knew that a time like this would come. The deadly sword hummed, sentient like, it embraced the power coursing through its make.

Breathing in deeply, relaxed, she was relieved to feel the meditation work. By acknowledging her foe, her mind took in the fact that, although she could fall, there was always hope. Drifting away from her thoughts, she focused, turning into the alert soldier she was taught to be. Just as the last remnants of her meditation faded she was racked with shivers, her body vibrating and tensed, it felt like her muscles were contorting into knots. Her leg gave way and she fell to her knees, using her sword to keep her upright, barely.

The darkness of the mines seemed to enclose on her, suffocating her into this small shell until she was gasping for breath. Her mind blanked out of the image of her concerned daughter before her to the scene of herself in her soldier form splitting in two. One of light, one of dark. The Sword of Diana between them. The light, just like her form, was on her knees, gasping for breath, while the dark looked on, smirking maliciously as she grasped the pitch-black Sword and swung. Cutting light in half, to break and shatter in a million glittering dust leaving the quickly fading star seed.

Usagi gasped, she tried to make herself move forward, to help the fading light but found she could not. Dark turned to her, the smirk becoming more prominent, the evil in her eyes more pronounced. Dark rose the sword and…

End Flashback

Everything in reality was a haze and only her nightmare like dreams proved to be the only truth and veracity needed. Then, like a bird bursting to song, light broke through, taking her away from the dark cage and bringing her back to reality only to suffer with hurt.

Flashback of Usagi coming to.

She could feel a dull pain. The memories of her blackout like a wave's crest crashing to the sea, churning the ocean and sending it into a spin. It had horrified her, to remember, and terrified her of what was to come. She could feel the cold, breathing down her neck, the icy tightness, entering her body and suffocating her senses. It felt like she was drowning into thick murky waters with no hopes of seeing light or breathing air.

When she awoke, feeling the warmth of the sun caress her face, she was assaulted with the pain and hurt emanating from everyone of the fellowship.

What had happened?

Slowly, she got out of Legolas' embrace, wondering briefly why she was in his arms and why it felt oddly soothing.

When she noted the missing person, guessing what had happened, she could only stand in numbing shock. It wasn't possible. She never before had considered that they would lose someone. Especially one as mighty as Gandalf. It was impossible, it couldn't be true. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the pain and disbelief, knew that she had to let go of such dark thoughts. There were others more saddened and such thoughts could prove to be fatal on her part…and everyone else's.

Hotaru stood frozen. Her mind lost as she thought of her ojii-chan. It was her fault…all her fault.

FLASHBACKS

Hotaru sat staring into the vast greenery. She had never seen a sight like this. Never-ending greenery lapped with scores of vibrant flowers. It took her breath away that beauty was tangible and that it was as endless and wide as the Pacific Ocean back home.

Amazing.

She turned her head, watching the Fellowship. What would happen if they failed? She had faith in her mamma, her mamma that always pulled through in the end but…but what if they did fail. Would this be lost? Would beauty be destroyed? She didn't think she could handle that.

A brow furrowed her delicate features. She had to do all that she could to help. She will not let Middle Earth, her mamma's true home, die.

"Child?"

"Hai, Gandalf-san?"

A gentle look passed on the old wizard. "What do you think?"

"It's very beautiful."

"Yes, it is. It would be a shame to let the darkness lay it to waste."

"Yes, it would."

"We must do all we can to prevent the darkness from seeping."

Her eyes, which had gazed back to the forest, snapped back to the wizard sharply. Did he suspect her of evil? Her heart clenched, it always happened and she still was not used to it.

"Hotaru? Keep the light within you shining, for it shines very brightly. It will stave the darkness that dares to tread. You're light will help in more ways than imagined."

Hotaru frowned, her trusting eyes gazing back at the serious man, his words taking to her heart.

FLASH

"Gandalf-san?" questioned the little form perched atop the wizard.

"Hai, little one?"

Hotaru giggled, smiling at Gandalf's absent slip of her native tongue. She looked at her mother who was smiling back fondly. She sighed happily.

"How long have you been alive?"

"Oh… far too long child. My bones ache."

Hotaru gave a gasp of concern. "Should I get down then? Does your back hurt? Am I too heavy?"

"Oh no, child. I was jesting. I meant it emotionally, I have witnessed much in life that has left a person worse for the wear. I am fortunate that I am made of sterner regard."

"Me too, because then I would never have met you and never have mamma as my mamma."

"Then I also am glad for my stubbornness in dying, I would never have met you otherwise."

"Gandalf-san, you're too funny. It's because you are of light."

"That is true, so that means you shall live far longer than I will ever for you also possess a light so pure."

FLASH

"So what happened to the Hobbit?"

"Well, the Hobbit went back home. Actually, he's writing his adventures now. Do you remember the Hobbit back in Rivendell?"

"The very old one, the one that's always sitting on the balcony overlooking the back expanse of the river?"

"Yes."

"He is that very one? Wow…"

Mirthful chuckle.

"So Hobbit-san managed to overcome all those feats? But… he's so small, how can he accomplish that? Are you sure he didn't have help?"

"Maybe just a little. But remember, little one, even the smallest of creatures can make a difference. Never forget that."

"Okay."

FLASH

"Ojii-san?" started Hotaru, using the nickname given to Gandalf after a particularly fantastic tale spun by the old man. Something about a lady, who lived a veeerrrrrry long time ago (older than her mamma), and did something so fantastic that it still left Hotaru in awe every time she thought about it. "What is that?"

Gandalf looked up from the dancing white flame in his palms. He outstretched his hand to Hotaru who reached out a tentative hand to touch it. After a reassuring nod from Gandalf, she caressed a tip of the flame, which moved like exuberant fairies dancing on the days of the equinox.

Curious, the warmth spreading about her like fluttering waves, she tried for a firmer 'grasp,' startled as the flames shot about her, luminescent in the air then vanishing.

Her wide eyes gazed back at Gandalf, her fear of ruining his magic greatly in mind. Gandalf merely smiled and patted her head as he looked to her mother who nodded.

FLASH

Hotaru fell on one knee, using what little strength she had to fend off the ferocious beast. Her forehead beaded with sweat as she nervously eyed the creature's salivating fangs. Her hands were starting to burn, she needed her gloves to weld her the intricately carved handles of her glaive.

She jerked forward, noting that the Warg was no longer there and was in fact slain. She looked to her concerned savior, Gandalf, and flashed him a grateful smile.

A glimmer caught her eye; it was the Sword of Artemis falling. "Mamma!"

FLASH

"Little one? What are you doing up?"

Hotaru looked up from the banking flames. Her eyes glowed an eerie purple in the darkness. "I couldn't sleep, ojii-san."

"What ails you?"

"I…I'm worried. I think that I'm just endangering the fellowship. What use do they have of a child? What can I do to help mamma and Middle Earth?"

"You can do many to help. I've seen you taken down your share of the Wargs and for such a young one that is an amazing feat to accomplish. I want you to take pride in your powers, never waver, never doubt; have faith. It will bring fruits to our effort in the end."

"How can you be so sure, ojii-san?"

"Because I, little one, have faith; faith in the fellowship."

"That's all?"

"Faith is all you need to pull through. Faith is what enables you to succeed. Faith is hope, hope is light, and light is victory."

"Oji-san, thank you. I think I can sleep now."

"Rest well, little one. We have a long day ahead of us on the morrow."

"Good night."

END FLASHBACKS

Gandalf

Why did he have to go? Why couldn't he have just ignored the flaming monster? If they had just kept on running, they would have made it to the exit in time to avoid the clutches of the Balrog. She knew, knew that the Balrog existed only in the caverns of darkness, it was why she felt familiarity with it but she knew that he would not have been able to handle the light. That it would have gone no closer to the exit but would be instead trapped forever within the chasms of Moria.

She could have stopped him. Hold him back or fallen so he, who had been closest to her, would have picked her up and carry her to safety.

Why?

She sobbed, spasms of jolting breath shaking her frail looking shoulders.

Usagi could only hold Hotaru. Her hold strong and firm, comforting her frail angel as best she could. Suddenly, images slammed into her mind; like a flickering picture about to haze out. One thing was certain, Hotaru was in more pain that Usagi imagined.

Hotaru's Projection

Hotaru screamed as her mother fell behind them. Panic surged within her as she went back for her mother only to have her pushed forward as her Uncle went to Usagi's aid. Aragorn scooped her into his arms and they continued their running. Like her mother, Hotaru could feel the darkness lick into her soul, tantalizing her with the force of its powers, seducing her into the richness of emptiness and the power to take life away.

No…

She would not let her mother's sacrifice become in vain. She would fight; she won't let the darkness take her as it did when she was Hotaru Tomoe. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted love!

With a gasp, she urged herself faster; she had to get away from darkness, the chilling being enticing her sou.

They reached the bridge. Gimli went first, then Pippin and Merry. She then followed, taking small careful steps. She looked back, concerned, as her Uncle Ro had to balance her mamma in his arms as she passed. It was only when he was safely across that she breathed in, relieved.

He could see the great shadow, in the middle, the form shaped of that of a man, and a dark power within it. The being came to the edge of the fissure, it leapt across the fire, as it did, the flames engulfed him, black smoke rising in the air. In its right hand a blade, its left a whip.

Legolas was shouting in terror. "A Balrog! A Balrog is coming!"

So that's what the darkness' name was. Hotaru feared it. It seemed to hold her in thrall, the mesmerizing darkness, even at a distance, touched her soul. She could only guess what her mother, who was of light and was much more sensitive to darkness, felt.

The figure quickly reached them. Gandalf urged the others across the bridge as he called upon what little strength he had.

The Balrog reached the bridge. Gandalf stood in the middle, blocking the path.

"You cannot pass," he said. The Orcs stilled, silence rose. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass."

The Balrog's flame seemed to die, yet the darkness grew. It stepped onto the bridge, coming to full height with his black shadowy wings spanning to the ceiling. Gandalf, though small, held himself, determined.

It's sword sung and Glamdring struck in answer.

They came to blows, the sword's clatter, lighting the room with white fire. The Balrog fell back, losing its sword and Gandalf swayed slightly but quickly regained balance and stood upright once again.

"You cannot pass!" he said.

The Balrog came forward, his whip lashing forth.

Aragorn set Usagi down gently, his sword drawn as he ran towards the bridge. Boromir followed, intent in helping the wizard.

Gandalf rose his staff, and crying aloud he destroyed the bridge before him. The staff broke and fell from his hand. White flame sprang up and the bridge cracked. Before the Balrog's feet, it broke and the stone fell into the chasm below.

The Balrog cried, falling forward and its shadow plunged down and vanished. Yet, as it fell, its whip swayed and curled upon Gandalf's knees.

In Hotaru's memory, time ticked slowly by and her heart could be heard thudding slowly.

Thud

Gandalf staggered, falling onto the bridge he tried to grasp hold of.

Thud

Hotaru ran back to Gandalf, slipping past Gimli and Borimir, but caught by Aragorn. She struggled within his Uncle's grip, her heart fearful and frantic. She had to get to Ojii-chan! Ojii-chan was going to fall!

Thud

Aragorn wrapped her flailing limbs and carried her to the exit. Hotaru watched, her eyes widening in horror as she watched Gandalf lock eyes with her…he fell. "Fly, you fools!"

Thud

Hotaru's mind was frozen. Aragorn, listening to Gandalf's last command, quickly fled up the stairs, ushering the hobbits along. Legolas picked the immobile Usagi up. Gimli and Boromir after them.

Thud

Faintly, Hotaru only watched as they flew past the Orcs, through the Dimrill Dale and out to safety.

Thud

Hotaru's mind still screaming 'No.'

End Projection

Usagi took it all in, watching Hotaru's memory fade with her child's mournful screams. Usagi flinched in guilt. Made Hotaru's pain her pain. Had she been awake, she would have been able to prevent Gandalf's demise. She could have used her ice powers, she could have transformed and fly after the falling wizard, she could have done SOMETHING! It was her fault. Her fault that she allowed herself to lose conscious, to increase burden upon the fellowship and having one of them fall.

She got out of her daughters projection, only able to hold on to Hotaru tighter. What could she do?

Her fault.

What the hell was she doing here if she was causing nothing but trouble? She couldn't help but feel as if she was messing with the planned destiny of Middle Earth—that she were merely intruding and was increasingly becoming a hindrance to the fellowships cause.

Gandalf…

Gandalf was the light in the fellowship. The one who could resist the ring. Even now she feared coming close to Frodo, after discovering exactly what he held. Temptation called to her but fear for the darkness held her back. She would not be a danger. She vowed she would no longer cause problems, that she would stick to the light as Gandalf had. It was the least she could do.

Legolas watched Usagi, pain laced in his heart as he watched his maiden combat with her sorrow. He watched as she soothed her daughter, taking no care in her own heart's pain. Never had he been so sure as he was now but to go to her and hold her in his arms. To take away her pain no matter how much it would torment him. He knew he could deal, knew that Gandalf's loss had been for a cause and knew that in time he would heal, but to see Usagi like this. It hurt him worse than he thought it would. He hardly knew the girl but from what he knew, he knew that she had stolen his heart from the minute his gaze landed on her. He never thought love was like this; never thought love for him was possible. Love was such a special thing, one that was not taken lightly and one that is hardly ever found. But he knew that the girl before him was his love. He knew that she was the one he'd risk his heart to. He only wished that she would love him in return.

Usagi looked up, her sapphire eyes saddened as she gazed at him. Her eyes looked to her daughter, Hotaru never did handle sadness well.

She stood watching as her brother gazed back at the exit, a look of indifference in his eyes. she mourned for him, knowing that he was trying his best to forget the pain, that he would not be allowed to feel torment—like she felt, not when there were others at risk.

Seeming to get out of his funk, Aragorn empty eyes looked to them. "We must continue."

Borimir shook his head. "Let us mourn."

Aragorn's eyes fell on Frodo, the young hobbit who so knew the wizard. It would do no good for Frodo to dwell on sadness, it would rip his mind apart.

"Frodo," he spoke gently but firmly, "we must go."

Frodo was trapped in the memory. The vision of Gandalf falling still haunting his mind. He looked to Aragorn, his unreadable eyes held a thin sheen of wetness. He only nodded.

~End Flashback~

Usagi watched silently as the fellowship faced the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. She could sense the lady's prying mind and Usagi quickly created a cordon around hers, for fear the lady would sense the darkness within her. She noted the lady's curiosity and Usagi ignored, her mind was inconsolable.

"Time is fast passing. The outcome of the war between good and evil draws near. I fear I may tip the scale and do something rash." Usagi whispered to herself, eyes flashing at the moon, wishing for guidance.

~~

"Yes, it is, child. Yes it is… and soon my precious will be mine."

TBC

***********

Here. My tribute to the 'loss' of Gandalf. I wonder how joyous are little firefly will be when her newly acquired grandfather comes back?

Ashamed as I am to say it, parts with the asterisks (*) were taken from the book. Hey, I'm sorry but Tolkein couldn't have put it better than himself and the parts I took, well…they summed up the point I was trying to get.

I busted ass to get this out before Christmas (I'm taking a vacation for a week starting the 25th) so I hope you like it. Um…Just wanted to say Mele Kalikimaka (Hawaiian for Merry Christmas) and have a happy new year. Take care over the holidays and stay safe. Much love. Muah ^.~

P.S. I'm sorry if the chapter was terrible. Poor use of grammar and all that… What can I say, I still don't have a beta. *shrugs *

Mahalos (Thank yous)

Bluejello – I'm glad you weren't disappointed.

AJake

Crystal-cherry – hm…I dunno. It's a possibility. You'll have to keep up to find out. ^.~

AMI MIZUNO1 – The pairing is Legolas/Usagi but it's quite developing yet. For now they're concerned with the mission. Sorry I didn't email you. School, the holidays, and this kept me busy.

Callisto Star – Special mahalos to your compliments. You did compliment me a lot and I'm glad that you think I'm doing okay in the story. SATS… *shudder * I did so bad… I got a 580 on my verbals… ick.. so very bad.

Angelwings6117 – I'm sorry for the misinformed date. I thought I'd get it out by then but…well there were some things I had put in that did not really fit so I had to rewrite it again.

Invisible Rain – thank you for reading it. I hoped you like it… and hoped you had a good sleep ^^.

Prophetess of hearts

EjqHorselady – Terribly sorry. I hope I didn't offend you.