Summery: "I need you to be confident enough, brave enough, Gryffindor
enough to tell me." Ron comes to a decision about his problem concerning
Harry and Hermione.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the associated characters. We
all know the drill.
Rating: PG
Ships: Implied RW/HG but mostly RW/HP
Warnings: Implied slash. Nothing major.
Author Note: Thank you to all the people who have read and reviewed the
preceding fics to this: "Choose Her" and "Why Him?" If you haven't read
those, please read them now or this won't make sense. Love to you all.
R&R
Indigo Ink.
***** bI Have to Say- Chapter 2/b
Things just keep getting worse for me. My heart is conflicted. I love Hermione. Have done for the past four years. We go out almost every night and she's beautiful, smart and she already knows all of my faults. We have a history. I know her favourite flower. Her favourite musical. I know almost every detail of her life.
But then I find out that you love me. Then I find out I love you. I just thought you were my best friend. My brother almost, but none of my other brothers or my sister make me feel like this. Like I'm floating above the snow coloured clouds and that I'm totally relaxed and free. You with your scruffy appearance, messy ebony hair and bright, intelligent emerald eyes. You're just as smart as she is. You're just as stunningly beautiful, even more so, in your own way. You're also funny and charming and shy. I don't know why I didn't realize before. I'm totally, hopelessly, head over heels in love with you.
You don't know that I know that you're in love with me. That's the problem. I can't just walk up to you and grab your face, smashing my lips into yours. I'm far too British for that. I need you to tell me. I need you to be confident enough, brave enough, Gryffindor enough to tell me. You were the brave one. You were the one who put things right. Why can't you do it now?
I don't know how long you've been hiding this from me and when I first found out I was confused and hurt. The confused part didn't take long to disappear but I still feel like you don't trust me. Hermione doesn't know how long either. She's really mad at me just now and I don't think we're going to last much longer. Maybe if I move in with her, we can sort things out because I do love her. I love her so much, it's just...
She purposely tried to hurt you. And by doing so, she's hurt me too. It's amazing that I managed to act my way out of revealing the writing on the diary sized piece of paper in my hand to you. I usually can't lie my way out of a paper bag. The parchment on which your true feelings are written is now lying in my bedside table's drawer. I didn't give it back to Hermione. It's been a month and I managed to keep Hermione, you and my family from finding out how I feel. I'm exhausted!
How the hell did you keep it a secret since at least Seventh Year? I must be one of the unluckiest guys in the world. I don't remember breaking a mirror recently. I haven't come across any ladders to walk under. And the only cat I've seen is Mrs. Jones' ginger downstairs. So how the hell could this happen?
My life was a fairytale. Most people would kill to have what I had just for one day. Now... I don't know what it is now, but I can tell you that it's far from Happy Ever After.
I'm brought out of my musings as a steaming cup of tea is placed on the coffee table and your smiling face comes into my line of vision. Your cheeky grin is forced and your eyes betray your real feelings. It's been this way since Hermione asked me to move in with her. You act as though you wouldn't mind which ever I choose. And now it's Christmas Eve and your mask of cheerfulness is in full use, even before my relatives arrive. You're always trying to protect me.
"You okay?"
I can't speak. I just nod. My throat feels as if it's closed up and my lips have been padlocked together. I've lost the key too.
Your smile diminishes slightly and you open your mouth to say something.
TAP! TAP, TAP, TAP!
The door. My family has the worst sense of timing, myself included. Why do you think we were nearly always late for the train?
You shrug and move to open the door. I get up to greet my parents.
Dad shakes my hand and mum hugs me then she goes back over to you and starts fussing over the state of your clothes, how thin you are and the fresh bruising and cuts on your face.
You come home everyday with extra wounds. You didn't look this bad after the Final Battle... Why won't you just tell someone, the police, anyone to make it stop?
The rest of the group arrives and you disappear into the kitchen again, followed by my mother who is nagging you to let her help. I don't know if she thinks that you're such a terrible cook that you'll give us all salmonella or something but you still insist everything is fine and that she should just rest.
You seem to take care of everyone else before yourself. Why are you making this decision so hard?!
The table is set and my family; Neville and Hermione are seated around it. A well-placed engorgement charm let us have this family Christmas you wanted so much. Did you think it would be your last chance?
"Ron?" Hermione slips her hand into mine. I shiver internally but clasp her hand and give it a squeeze. It would look slightly odd to my family if I didn't touch her. "Merry Christmas."
"Yeah 'Mione," I'm still looking at the door where you disappeared, "Merry Christmas."
******
I have no clue what mum was worrying about, the food was delicious. You don't talk about your time at the Dursley's much so I don't know if they taught you how to cook or you picked it up yourself, but boy, can you cook.
Everyone has emptied their plates... except you. You took the least of all of us and you just seem to have pushed it around on your plate. Why do you do that? I'm seriously worried about. Is it because you think I'm leaving? Or is it something else?
Hermione keeps shooting you looks all evening, as if you had done something else wrong. I don't like it. She doesn't even know you anymore. Why do the two people I love hate each other?
I look between you and her. Suddenly, a feeling of realisation and... calm, washes over me. In fancy terms, I think it's called an epiliphany? No, that's not right. Epiph... epiph... epiphany! That's it. As I look between you I reach and epiphany.
You're charming, witty, handsome and generous. But Hermione, she's also all these things.
Somehow, I just know. I know what I'm going to do, who I'm going to live with. I hope you understand why I'm doing this afterwards.
I stand and clear my throat. "I know everyone's been waiting for a long time for me to decide what I'm going to do with my life. Well, Harry, Hermione. I've made my decision."
TBC
I know, I know! Please don't kill me! All will be revealed in the next and final chapter of this. Please R&R. Peace to the world and all.
***** bI Have to Say- Chapter 2/b
Things just keep getting worse for me. My heart is conflicted. I love Hermione. Have done for the past four years. We go out almost every night and she's beautiful, smart and she already knows all of my faults. We have a history. I know her favourite flower. Her favourite musical. I know almost every detail of her life.
But then I find out that you love me. Then I find out I love you. I just thought you were my best friend. My brother almost, but none of my other brothers or my sister make me feel like this. Like I'm floating above the snow coloured clouds and that I'm totally relaxed and free. You with your scruffy appearance, messy ebony hair and bright, intelligent emerald eyes. You're just as smart as she is. You're just as stunningly beautiful, even more so, in your own way. You're also funny and charming and shy. I don't know why I didn't realize before. I'm totally, hopelessly, head over heels in love with you.
You don't know that I know that you're in love with me. That's the problem. I can't just walk up to you and grab your face, smashing my lips into yours. I'm far too British for that. I need you to tell me. I need you to be confident enough, brave enough, Gryffindor enough to tell me. You were the brave one. You were the one who put things right. Why can't you do it now?
I don't know how long you've been hiding this from me and when I first found out I was confused and hurt. The confused part didn't take long to disappear but I still feel like you don't trust me. Hermione doesn't know how long either. She's really mad at me just now and I don't think we're going to last much longer. Maybe if I move in with her, we can sort things out because I do love her. I love her so much, it's just...
She purposely tried to hurt you. And by doing so, she's hurt me too. It's amazing that I managed to act my way out of revealing the writing on the diary sized piece of paper in my hand to you. I usually can't lie my way out of a paper bag. The parchment on which your true feelings are written is now lying in my bedside table's drawer. I didn't give it back to Hermione. It's been a month and I managed to keep Hermione, you and my family from finding out how I feel. I'm exhausted!
How the hell did you keep it a secret since at least Seventh Year? I must be one of the unluckiest guys in the world. I don't remember breaking a mirror recently. I haven't come across any ladders to walk under. And the only cat I've seen is Mrs. Jones' ginger downstairs. So how the hell could this happen?
My life was a fairytale. Most people would kill to have what I had just for one day. Now... I don't know what it is now, but I can tell you that it's far from Happy Ever After.
I'm brought out of my musings as a steaming cup of tea is placed on the coffee table and your smiling face comes into my line of vision. Your cheeky grin is forced and your eyes betray your real feelings. It's been this way since Hermione asked me to move in with her. You act as though you wouldn't mind which ever I choose. And now it's Christmas Eve and your mask of cheerfulness is in full use, even before my relatives arrive. You're always trying to protect me.
"You okay?"
I can't speak. I just nod. My throat feels as if it's closed up and my lips have been padlocked together. I've lost the key too.
Your smile diminishes slightly and you open your mouth to say something.
TAP! TAP, TAP, TAP!
The door. My family has the worst sense of timing, myself included. Why do you think we were nearly always late for the train?
You shrug and move to open the door. I get up to greet my parents.
Dad shakes my hand and mum hugs me then she goes back over to you and starts fussing over the state of your clothes, how thin you are and the fresh bruising and cuts on your face.
You come home everyday with extra wounds. You didn't look this bad after the Final Battle... Why won't you just tell someone, the police, anyone to make it stop?
The rest of the group arrives and you disappear into the kitchen again, followed by my mother who is nagging you to let her help. I don't know if she thinks that you're such a terrible cook that you'll give us all salmonella or something but you still insist everything is fine and that she should just rest.
You seem to take care of everyone else before yourself. Why are you making this decision so hard?!
The table is set and my family; Neville and Hermione are seated around it. A well-placed engorgement charm let us have this family Christmas you wanted so much. Did you think it would be your last chance?
"Ron?" Hermione slips her hand into mine. I shiver internally but clasp her hand and give it a squeeze. It would look slightly odd to my family if I didn't touch her. "Merry Christmas."
"Yeah 'Mione," I'm still looking at the door where you disappeared, "Merry Christmas."
******
I have no clue what mum was worrying about, the food was delicious. You don't talk about your time at the Dursley's much so I don't know if they taught you how to cook or you picked it up yourself, but boy, can you cook.
Everyone has emptied their plates... except you. You took the least of all of us and you just seem to have pushed it around on your plate. Why do you do that? I'm seriously worried about. Is it because you think I'm leaving? Or is it something else?
Hermione keeps shooting you looks all evening, as if you had done something else wrong. I don't like it. She doesn't even know you anymore. Why do the two people I love hate each other?
I look between you and her. Suddenly, a feeling of realisation and... calm, washes over me. In fancy terms, I think it's called an epiliphany? No, that's not right. Epiph... epiph... epiphany! That's it. As I look between you I reach and epiphany.
You're charming, witty, handsome and generous. But Hermione, she's also all these things.
Somehow, I just know. I know what I'm going to do, who I'm going to live with. I hope you understand why I'm doing this afterwards.
I stand and clear my throat. "I know everyone's been waiting for a long time for me to decide what I'm going to do with my life. Well, Harry, Hermione. I've made my decision."
TBC
I know, I know! Please don't kill me! All will be revealed in the next and final chapter of this. Please R&R. Peace to the world and all.