I saw a crow upon the killingfield where I
Used to be soft but I shall become steel and I
Don't much enjoy pulling the gentle out but I
Mean to survive and that's what this stuff is all about

Talis Kimberely, "Carrion"

After that, things were a little easier for me. Remus and I were tacitly under James and Sirius' protection, now, and as such not fair game to all and sundry. Even if they weren't precisely kind to us. I relaxed a bit, but Remus seemed more wary than ever.

Well, I knew all along that he was the smart one.

It was a cloudy winter afternoon when James cornered me alone. It was odd to see him without Sirius but I didn't dare comment.

"I have a job for you, worm," he breathed in my ear. He still called me that. Not precisely kind.

"What do you want?"

"Your clever little friend, Remus." Well, 'friend' was maybe putting it a bit strongly. Fellow outcast was more like it. But I wasn't about to correct him. "Every month, he disappears. You're going to find out why, sneak."

"But I don't think I can-"

"I didn't ask if you could. I said you would." He smiled unpleasantly. "I know you don't want to disappoint me." He squeezed my shoulder, a gesture that looked comradely but hurt like hell. "So find out."

It would be boring to go over the chart-keeping, the noting on the calendar the nights Remus wasn't in the dorm, the cross-referencing to see what they had in common. Once I'd done that, though, it was all too easy to figure out.

I sought out Remus and pulled him into one of the secret corridors I hadn't told James and Sirius about yet.

"I. Um. Figured it out." I couldn't meet his eyes. "Why you go away every month." I bit my lip. He was so pale. I looked away again. "On the full moon-"

"Please... please don't..."

"James told me to find out!" I punched the wall and immediately regretted it. "If I don't tell him, he's going to pound me."

Now it was Remus' turn to look away. "I don't want anyone to know," he whispered.

I sighed. "You could do that binding spell again," I suggested. "Like for the secret doors. They'll know, but they won't be able to tell anyone. Besides," I rolled my eyes, "They'll think it's cool."

He made a face. "You're right, they will." He shuddered. "I wish they... no. I don't. But I almost do."

And that was how the four of us shared a second secret.