Title: The Tragic Tale of Link and Mr. Pointy
Author: EA
Warnings: Vaguely-written smut.
Summary: Link/Master Sword drabble. With the warning above in consideration, do you really want to read?
Disclaimer: All characters used belong to Shigeru Miyamoto and the good folks at Nintendo.
Notes: Because Pradaloz asked for it. This is vaguely related to my other bent drabble, Sheik and the Mailbox, so for this short little piece, Sheik is his own person. Don't try this at home, kids. ^_~
Link stared in transfixion at the gleaming object before him. The gleaming, long, and hard object before him. He wielded said object in his hands, dipping it into the water of Lake Hylia and then taking it out again simply to watch the water droplets reflected by the light of the moon run down its length.
As much as he disliked to admit it, such a sight seriously turned him on.
Growing hard as he watched the droplets of water sensuously run down the length of the cold, yet powerful steel for the last time, he sat down on the bank of Lake Hylia and spread his legs, laying his sword, temporarily, beside him. Link fantasized about the sleek Master Sword and how long it was, imagining what it might feel like to have such a powerful weapon inside of him. Wanting release from the painful bulge, he unbuckled his belt - his tunic fanning out - and slipped a hand inside his tights, beginning to stroke himself.
In his mind he imagined the blade of evil's bane slowly pushing into him...and then out as he emitted long, drawn out moans. In and out in a slow, sensuous motion with the tempo only increasing as Link's need for release built up. But then he stopped and looked up at the sky, wide-eyed.
Instead of fantasizing...why not make it a reality...?
The Hero of Time was a powerful and strong man, so it was only natural that his sword be the same as well. It was only natural for the two to be as one, to live, fight, die, and love as one. Completely natural, so why shouldn't he attempt such things?
Why shouldn't he and his sword be joined together?
In the darkness of the night, he completely removed his shoes, tights, and undergarments in a hurry, all the while his aching erection demanding attention. Link took the sword with him into the lake's water until he was in far enough to get on all fours comfortably with most of his body submerged, hiding his suspicious activity from any supposed peeping eyes.
He set the sword aside somewhere reachable underneath the water and turned his attention to his anus, probing it with his finger as the water around him acted as a sufficient lubricant. With some prodding, he had the full length of his finger inserted inside him with only a vague sense of discomfort. As his desire for the sword to be in him increased, he pumped his finger in and out of his anus, adding in more fingers when it allowed until it finally seemed as if he could stand no more.
It was time.
His gloved hands allowed him to grip his sword gently by its blade as he shifted his weight to one arm, snaking the other with the sword's tip to his behind. The second the cold steel touched his sensitive skin, Link drew in a sharp breath, noting how the divine power radiating from the blade made him feel. If it felt that good outside his body, he could only imagine what it felt like within.
Positioning the tip of the sword at his anus, he breathed deeply before slowly easing it inside of him. At once, as skin closed over steel, he felt a sharp pain; as the Hero of Time, he was used to physical discomfort, but it was...different. Knowing, though, that it would only hurt more if he slid the tiny bit of blade out and then inched it back it, Link decided to simply get it over with and take in the full length of the sword in one push.
Mentally ready for what he wrongly imagined to be only mild pain, Link, in one quick stroke, impaled himself with the Master Sword entirely.
Some Time In the Future
It had been another adventure, another time in which the Legendary Hero was called upon to save the beautiful land of Hyrule from evildoers. Only, instead of Queen Zelda, the Great Fairy had been in danger. As a result, the powers of all the fairies had been cut off. Dashing and heroic as always, though, the hero had saved her from evil, thereby restoring the powers of the fairies, with his trusty sidekick, the lone Sheikah unoriginally named Sheik, and currently the two, along with the seven sages and various castle attendants, were receiving the Great Fairy's gratitude...
She, loosely attired in vines, had bestowed upon the hero and his sidekick a useful gift, as she was wont to do, and finished giving a gracious speech to all of those privileged enough to be in her company. A great feast to celebrate the safety of the Fairy was underway, but of course, she, older than time and with a flawless memory, decided upon herself to give a little warm and motherly advice to Link, the Hero.
"Why Link," the Great Fairy began warmly, "I can remember back when you were a little boy, and you used to get yourself into all sorts of scrapes! You'd always come to my fountain, though, and I'd soothe and heal your wounds. If you hadn't so courageously saved me, I'd be so worried, if only for you, my dear. You seem to get yourself in the most awful of messes, and I'm afraid you'll wind up dead without the aid of my fairies. They've saved your life on many occasions, even when you've least expected it, I'm sure. So Link, please, for my sake, keep bottled fairies with you at all times! Even if there is no danger, they can heal your wounds...like I'm sure you remember a few years ago in Lake Hylia."
If Link had at all remembered, he showed no sign of it as he continued to listen to her.
"Without the aid of a few fairies you had thankfully kept on your person, I fear you would have surely been killed! ...Honestly, Link, sticking your divine sword up yourself for pleasure is never really a good idea."
Oh. Now he remembered.
And everyone who had heard just then would remember.
The castle hall was immediately awash with a shocked silence, save the uncharacteristic sound of the normally stoic Sheik stifling laughter.
"Oh shut up," Link muttered to his companion in mortified embarrassment, his face glowing a bright red, "at least I'm not in love with a mailbox."
End Drabble