Hello 'ello. I felt that I had depressingly little variety in my fanfics, seeing as they are all about Inu-yasha. Nothing wrong with IY, but it's fun with something else as well. The trouble was, I don't really write about anything else than Inu-yasha and co. The only thing I had to put up was this Fushigi Yuugi one-shot, from the time when I still liked that series. (When I hadn't read further than book five or something.) And it is SO OLD. So if you think it's absolutely crap, well... uh... don't read it. (Although, if you think it's crap it's probably because you have read it, so that comes as kinda late advice... anyway.)
The reason Chichiri is so bloody annoying with his constant "no da" is because he's supposed to be so bloody annoying.
Oh, and if you really like Fushigi Yuugi – or more specifically, Miaka and Tamahome – I'm not sure you should read this. You might be upset.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi... if I did I wouldn't be putting up stories here, would I?
Overcoming differences
"Come on Tasuki, it'll be fun no da!"
"No!" growled the bandit. "Ya know I can' stand her. Why d'ya hav' to drag me to a party with her for?!"
"But no da, all the other guys in the gang are coming! It'll be fun too see them no da. (Besides, I don't want to be left alone with her and her boyfriend either no da.)"
"Well, ya know I'll always be here fer ya Chichiri, like a good friend should… but I draw the line at socializing with Mr and Mrs Romeo-&-Juliet-tragic-forbidden-love-but-we-can'-keep-our-hands-off-each-other-anyways just fer yer sake. I'm only human."
Chichiri sighed. There was nothing else to it: he'd have to play his trump card.
"Alright no da. Guess we'll have to find someone else to light the grill."
For a moment there was silence, then the sound of pen scratching against paper could be heard over the line.
"Friday, ya said. At what time?"
*
Chichiri laid the phone on the hook with a relieved sigh. He'd finally managed to get all the Suzaku seishi to come to his pool party. It hadn't been easy.
Mitsukake refused to come unless Chichiri was 100 % positive that Chiriko was coming. Chiriko refused to come unless Chichiri was 100 % positive that Mitsukake was coming. A few white lies sorted those two out. Tamahome sighed dramatically and said with that lovesick voice they'd all come to hate that it was up to his true love, Miaka… He then proceeded to quote everything she had said in the past hour. When Chichiri at last got Miaka on the line it wasn't too hard to convince her to come though ("Barbeque, Miaka. Chips. Soda. Doughnuts. Ice-cream. No da."). Hotohori agreed to come as soon as he heard Miaka was coming, but Chichiri had to listen for a quarter of an hour to him trying to decide what colour swimming trunks to wear. Nuriko was as always ready for a party. The hardest had been Tasuki. Chichiri wasn't sure if the lure of the grill would be enough to overcome his dislike for Miaka and Tamahome, but apparently the pyromanic side of his personality was even stronger than Chichiri had thought.
Yes, he'd done it. But it wasn't over yet. Sighing, he picked up the phone again.
*
Friday arrived with clear skies, bright sun and hot temperatures.
Everything's just perfect no da! thought Chichiri happily as he watched his fellow seishi. Chiriko and Mitsukake were splashing quietly in the pool, trying to teach Tama-neko to swim. Miaka and Tamahome were lying on the grass. Miaka was giggling while Tamahome fed her some blue grapes. Peeled. Nuriko was everywhere at once, splashing water at the two lovers, almost drowning Tama-neko, trying to drag Hotohori – whose swimming trunks were of the interesting colour white – into the water and generally being the light of the party. Chichiri couldn't see what Tasuki was doing behind all the smoke, but assumed he was having fun, judging from the occasional " *KABOOM!* Whee!"
Chichiri smiled. He cared deeply about all of his friends. Well, more or less deeply, he added to himself, shuddering at the thought of grapes. Peeled. Just then Nuriko ran up to him, shook himself like a wet dog and started talking.
"Nice idea Chiz, but why didn't you invite some more? Mits and Chiriko aren't that fun, Miaka and Tamababy are plain disgusting and Hotto is such a mope. What do you say you, me and Tas ditch 'em and go find a disco?" Chichiri opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment Miaka suddenly screamed, pointed and fainted dramatically. The others, looking in the direction of her finger, saw a tall figure, robed in navy blue…
"Hi," said Nakago. "I heard there was a pool party going on."
Tamahome quickly got to his feet, arranged himself into a cool, yet manfully threatening position, smoothed back his hair and glared.
"You!" he spat.
"Uhmm, yeah," answered Nakago, eyes narrowed. "Last time I looked, I was still me."
"What are you doing here?!!" shouted Tamahome shrilly, losing his cool. "Who invited you??!!"
Nakago opened his blue eyes very wide.
"Him," he said, pointing at Chichiri. Tamahome swung around, glaring daggers at the monk.
"Yeah well, no da, isn't it time we sorted out our differences? Did you bring the rest of the gang, Nakago?"
"Well, Tomo's trapped in a clam and Miboshi's sulking 'cos he broke one of his spinning tops, but the rest are all here," the blonde answered, indicating the group behind him.
"Yo, Suboshi!" yelled Tasuki happily, reappearing from behind the smoke, coughing and with hair badly singed. "How's it hangin'?"
"Oh good, you know, just been resurrecting my brother and playing with my yo-yo's… how about you?"
"Great, jus' great. Ya owe me money though, fer the pub round with me an' Niko, remember?"
"Ah, right you are, I've actually got some with me. How much was it?"
Tamahome was staring disbelievingly at Tasuki.
"You're talking to a Seiryuu seishi?! They're our enemies! Enemies!! ENEMIES!!!!" Frothing slightly at the mouth, he turned around and started bashing his head on a garden table, still muttering about enemies.
"Open your eyes, Tamababy," said Chichiri. "You can't hate them forever no da. They're all really nice guys! Plus, Nakago always picks up the tab." He gently yanked Tamahome's head up by the hair and made him look out over the garden, where the Seiryuu seishi were blending in as if they'd been there their entire life.
In the pool Mitsukake, Chiriko and Amiboshi were chatting happily, although the youngest boy was looking a bit put out over the fact that Mitsukake frequently got Amiboshi's name mixed up and called him Chiriko. Hotohori was patting Ashitare, who was in his much more pleasant wolf form. Soi and Tasuki – now a few bucks richer – were flirting ( "Ya mean ya don' like water either? 'Course, I don' care, as long as ya still wear that bikini…" "Well, water conducts electricity… My lightning bolts plus swimming pool is not a pretty sight. But you know, I can understand why you've never learnt to swim – a hottie like you wouldn't go too well with water either, would you?" ) and Nuriko and Suboshi were reliving old party memories. Yui was slapping Miaka's face and splashing her with water, saying she could see Miaka hadn't really fainted, as her hand was still pointing at Nakago – even though he had moved. Nakago, meanwhile, had taken off his bathrobe to reveal swimming trunks of the same navy blue colour and was now basking in the sun while throwing gloating looks in Hotohori's direction, to the effect of "You're not the only one around here who looks good in long hair".
"You see?" said Chichiri, smiling broadly. "Why don't you go make up with Nakago? We're all friends here no da."
Tamahome whimpered and fled into the house.
*
Half an hour later, Chichiri decided that the ice-breaking period was over. He called all the seishi together, even Tamahome who'd been persuaded to come out again by Miaka's "But I'm scared, Tama-honey! I need you to protect me!"
"Well, everybody! I thought we could have a little game of softball no da, to get into the summer spirit! What do you say no da?"
"I say I'm really tired of your 'no da'," muttered Tamahome.
"It's a good idea! What teams?" Nuriko was of course ready for anything. The sheer energy of that guy really amazed Chichiri sometimes. Then again, overmuch consumption of caffeine usually did that to one.
"Why don't we play Suzaku vs. Seiryuu seishi?" asked Amiboshi and Suboshi simultaneously, then glared at each other.
"You stole my idea!"
"You stole my idea!"
"Liar! You always copy me! Whose hairstyle is that for example?"
"It's mine! You copied my hairstyle!"
While the twins fought it out, the others agreed that the idea was a good one, whoever had come up with it.
"But waitaminnit… We're two more than ya! Someone has to go over…I'll do it!" Tasuki volunteered, winking at Soi.
"Oh no Tasuki, that won't be necessary. We will beat you easily anyway," smirked Nakago.
"Oh YEAH?!" yelled Tamahome. "You'll fight me over that one, you bastard!!" Shouting madly, he launched himself at the Seiryuu seishi.
*
"Well, now we're equally matched," said Nakago, dusting off his hands. Tamahome was cold out and Miaka was crying hysterically by his side. "Six against six. Shall we begin?"
The game was hard, even and very confused. Soi and Tasuki had a tendency to make the ball either explode or burst into flames as soon as the opposite team were heading for a home run. Hotohori concentrated on hitting the ball as hard as he could in the direction of Nakago's face, determined to break his nose. The twins were still fighting over who had copied whose hairstyle. Nuriko was on the high of his caffeine addiction and ran faster than even Tasuki, who in a very unsporting fashion was using his seishi powers to outrun everyone – well, except Nuriko then and also except Chichiri, who in an equally unsporting fashion was teleporting himself from one base to the other.
Yes, it was a hard and unfair game, which the Seiryuu seishi finally won, despite the extreme speed of the Suzaku seishi. Ashitare was still in his wolf form, and drooled so much on the ball that nobody wanted to touch it, which gave the Seiryuu seishi a huge advantage and led them to win with 247 over 245 and a half.
Tamahome came to just before the game finished, heard the results, realized that the Suzaku seishi had lost and promptly fainted again.
Warm and sweaty, they all jumped into the pool – except for Soi and Tasuki, who used the opportunity of privacy to become even more warm and sweaty…
…by starting the grill. What were you thinking about??
Yui, meanwhile, discovered that she was the only girl in the pool and that this meant some nice advantages. Hotohori and Nakago were both chatting her up, trying to prove to each other who was the most good looking. However, she also found out the disadvantages when Nuriko suggested a game of boys vs. girls water polo. She won of course, but only narrowly, and got splashed with so much water that she almost considered letting the boys win just to keep them happy. But then, that would really be against her principles.
Wet and soaking, they all climbed out of the pool and plopped down on the grass. Soi and Tasuki appeared with the food and they all settled down for a good meal. Miaka joined them – the lure of food was stronger even than that of her boyfriend – and then Tamahome came too, as there was no point in playing hurt if no-one pampered him. After dinner they had a pet show with Tama-neko and Ashitare. Tama-neko won easily, as Ashitare refused to obey any command except "Play dead" and also bit Mitsukake on the leg.
While the others yelled at Ashitare and helped Mitsukake heal himself, Nakago quietly took Tamahome aside.
"What is it? Wanna fight??" Tamahome arranged himself into his cool fighting position again, but Nakago merely shook his head.
"I want to ask you something, you know, between us first seishis," he muttered, gesturing to Tamahome for silence. "How about we switch mikos?"
"SWITCH MIKOS??!!" yelled Tamahome loud enough for the entire block to hear, thus ruining Nakago's attempt for secrecy. In a moment all the seishi and the two mikos were gathered around them.
"I'm all fer it!" said Tasuki with a huge grin on his face.
"Yeah, me too. I'd rather have Yui any day," Nuriko agreed, earning himself a hard punch in the face from Tamahome.
"But why do you want Miaka no da?" asked Chichiri. "Are you out of your mind? No da?"
"One of these days your no da's will give you a serious beating…" growled Tamahome, missing the fact that the no da-saying person in question had just seriously insulted his girlfriend.
"WHY?!" shouted Yui, who was in tears. "I thought you liked me!!!"
"We do, Yui-sama, that's just it. We heard that Seiryuu eats his priestesses, so…" Nakago smiled warmly at her, and her crying stopped as she smiled back. "So we decided to let you have the easy job of summoning Suzaku, and switch to Miaka instead. So what do you say we buy her off you?" he asked the Suzaku seishi. "I'm willing to trade Yui for… Miaka plus six bags of gold."
"Miaka and six bags of gold?!" shouted Tamahome. "What do you think we are??!" He thought for a while, then said,
"Two."
"Uh-uh," said Nakago. "I can lower myself to five bags, but no less."
"Three," said Tamahome. "And we'll throw in Tasuki, too."
"DEAL!" shouted Soi and Tasuki immediately, but Nakago declined.
"A Suzaku warrior would only upset our chi. But how about we get Miaka and the three bags of gold, and Tasuki makes a fire display at our ceremony?"
"OK, deal," said Tamahome. He spat in his hand and shook with Nakago, satisfied with the good deal though feeling as if he had missed something essential. And with that everyone was satisfied, even Miaka who with the promise of delicious feasts was able to forget about the fact that she was probably going to be eaten in the near future.
*
The rest of the evening turned out well, with Miaka and Tamahome snogging in the pool, Soi and Tasuki snogging on the garden bench and Yui snogging first Nakago, then Hotohori, then Nakago, then Hotohori… Amiboshi and Suboshi kept arguing about their hair, Ashitare chased Tama-neko all over the garden and Nuriko searched desperately after a coffee pot. Mitsukake had a teary talk with Chiriko where he assured him that that Chiriko was unique and mattered to him, and he'd never confuse Chiriko with someone else, he was the only one that mattered to Mitsukake this much. He then whispered loudly to Amiboshi who was passing in pursuit of his brother,
"Chiriko, could you please go and find me a handkerchief?" Upon this both Amiboshi and Chiriko chose to beat the stuffing out of him and go get to know each other better, without the senile old paedophile.
While Yui snogged Nuriko for a bit of variety, Hotohori and Nakago had a bitch-slap fight over who was most worthy of the name "Sex bomb". Amiboshi and Chiriko did a duet version of "I will always love you", played on flute and blades of grass. Mitsukake healed his wounds and moped.
Ah yes, thought Chichiri happily, leaning against a tree, it was a great evening. Everything was just as he wanted it. Miaka was out of his hair, all the Suzaku and Seiryuu seishi were friends and he was certain he'd managed to get a bit of tan.
"You see, Tamahome no da?" he asked, turning towards his fellow seishi. "They are really nice guys no da!"
"THAT WAS YOUR LAST BLOODY NO DA!!!!!" screamed Tamahome, launching himself at the monk. Chichiri quickly teleported himself to a spot five metres further off, causing Tamahome to run into the tree.
Chichiri almost laughed himself silly at the sight of Tamahome cold out – again – and Miaka hysterical – again.
"Hey Chiz," said Nuriko, laying a hand on his shoulder. He'd managed to disentangle himself from Yui and was now standing with one of the twins, ready to go. "We're moving on. Suboshi knows a great place with 80's music and good coffee. Care to join us?"
Chichiri looked out over all the seishi one last time. What fun they could have now, all together!
"Alright no da. Let's go."
THE END. NO DA.