Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto. Period.
Chapter Two: Size Matters
"Kyaaa!!"
When an utterly scandalized Sakura squealed, I realized that I did hear the servant right. I thought it odd, however. I couldn't remember the Godaime mentioning anything about this mission being that kind. Besides, my students were all underaged. Unless...
"..." said Naruto.
"..." said Sasuke.
I coughed delicately. "I really prefer to use the element of surprise in my operations," I said. "I honestly don't--"
"Impossible, sir!" protested the servant. "I must know."
"Impossible?" demanded Naruto indignantly. "You must know!? What kind of a sick pervert are you, anway?"
The man called Chu-chu snapped his fingers. The nondescript secretaries fumbling about in their respective desks stood up and rallied about their leader menacingly.
"My apologies, sir," he explained placatingly. "If I must use force to find answers, I will."
"B-but... why?" Naruto was obviously weirded out by these suit-clad body guards; at any other time he would have taken their silent challenge with a broad grin.
"I need specifications to choose the appropriately sized garote."
"G-g-garote?!" squeaked a high-pitched voice. It didn't belong to Sakura. "W-what are you talking about, Chu-chu-san? They're not candidates for castration–or whatever procedure it is you regularly perform."
In spite of myself, a very uncomfortable feeling creeping in my spine began to intrude itself into my consciousness.
It was Naruto who recovered first. "Hey, sensei, what was that they wanted to do?"
"You don't want to know," replied Sasuke, his face rather paler than usual.
"But I really do, Sasuke," answered the clueless boy. "That way I'll know if I'd start beating them up now."
Sakura, still blushing, nudged him with a foot. "Later," she hissed furiously.
Naruto blinked. "Okay. You don't have to get mad."
"Aurgh... Chu-chu-san!"whined the same voice who thankfully cleared the little misunderstanding earlier. "Look at how you scandalized my guests."
Both Naruto and Sakura started visibly when the speaker came into voice. It was Laya-sama.
Apparently, she had ran back to the room when she heard the commotion. Her chest was heaving in that low, v-necked silken blouse, but the red of her face and neck was not only due to exertion. She was quite a sight there, half-bent and panting, her poise and royal bearing now gone.
She took a few minutes to calm herself. When she spoke, the soft, calm voice was back.
"My people and I have long pondered on the matter of concealing the Kila family's employment of ninjas," she said. "We've decided for you to dress up as servants. Chu-chu-san here, ever mindful of my safety, thought to execute the usual precautions."
"I see," I answered. I have to admit my voice came out a little weaker than I had wanted it to.
"Is it prudent to disclose your plan like this?" Sasuke asked in a neutral voice.
"It's alright, pretty one," crooned the princess, adoration completely removing any trace of intelligence in her eyes for a few seconds. "There are no spies in our estate."
"With all due respect, my lady," answered Sakura. "There's a reason why we've been hired after all."
I appreciated the formal training Kila Laya received for her courtly duties as a noble then; her stiffening was virtually unnoticeable, the brief surge of unspeakable rage barely discernable. "Truth be told," she answered quietly. "You were hired because my rich, powerful, highly esteemed father is nothing but a paranoid, overprotective coward."
"Laya-sama!" came the collective gasp.
"Paranoid or not, we have our responsibilities," said Naruto seriously. There are times when I'm impressed how much that boy matured–or a semblance of it, anyway.
"True." Gravely, the princess motioned with a single finger. The rabble cleared the doorway immediately. "Come, Leaf ninjas. We shall have privacy in my apartments."
"But Laya-sama–!" protested Chu-chu-san.
Laya suddenly glared at him indignantly. "Honestly! I'm not as promiscuous as the gossip columns in Aneurya claim, you know."
Chu-chu-san jumped guiltily. "Of course not, lady! The nerve of those people to lie! The virtue of our lady--"
"Never mind." Serene expression returning to her face, the young woman began her slow glide out of the room. There was nothing else to do but follow, of course.
~~~
The marble-floored sitting room with its furnishings of slim, dark wood and rich red velvet suited its owner well. A modest-sized chandelier showered down from overhead, its crystal fragments reflecting light from outside. Heavy brocaded drapes were drawn to let in the late afternoon sun. The opulence prevented us from quite relaxing, but the lush green of the forest scenery seen through her floor-to-ceiling windows was calming and real.
Laya-sama invited the four of us to sit on the too-soft couches, while an attendant drew up a stiff-looking, cushioned chair for her. It was moderately uncomfortable for us. Our hostess didn't seem quite comfortable at first, either, only half-sitted in her hard-backed chair in a suitably lady-like manner.
"Uh, are you sure you don't want to sit here?" asked Naruto. "I can sit on the floor."
"Oh no, blue-eye, stay," said the lady quite firmly.
When the servants departed, Laya-sama sighed and relaxed in her seat. I noticed the two young men with me quickly averting their eyes from her slouched form.
"Now, that we're alone I would like to continue our abrupt introductions," she spoke gravely. "I am again Kila Laya. The blue-eyed young man here is Uzumaki Naruto, correct?"
"Yes, yes," said the one referred to eagerly. "And if it's not to much trouble, I'd like ramen for dinner tonight."
"Naturally, none–trouble, I mean. And you, miss? If I may know your name?"
Sakura seemed surprise. "Haruno Sakura, m'lady."
Eyes shining, Laya-sama took the kunoichi's hands in her. "I am absolutely thrilled to find some female companionship after such a great while." Her voice was thick with emotion. "We shall be friends, even in the short span of time we'd share. Good friends!"
My student blinked. "Uh, yes, my lady."
"Laya-chan to you, dearest."
"Laya-chan, my lady." In spite of her self, Sakura smiled back warmly and carefully retrieved her hands.
The woman turned to the other boy. "You, beautiful one, have not relinquished your name yet," she said almost speculatively. "Truly, I would grind my most precious gem to dust, if only to know."
"Uchiha Sasuke, if it makes you happy," he answered rather ungraciously.
"It does, pretty one," came the husky reply. "I would settle even with that, so long as it comes from you."
I could see Sakura was re-thinking her acquiescence to the fervent declaration of friendship from the flighty noblewoman. I decided to introduce myself to head things off.
"My name is--"
"Oh, no, no, no!" Quite suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with her girlish charms. Slender fingers stilled the movement of my lips. The dreamy brown eyes were only inches away from my nose. "I'd rather you keep your name your own, my dashing masked hero,"she whispered. "The mystery shall be kept that way, and you're the secret of your identity shall be kept safe. It's more exciting that way." She giggled rather throatily. "Don't tell me; that's an order."
Masked hero? Really, she was starting to embarrass me...
Since my team was giving me sidelong looks of varying meanings, I coughed delicately, and Laya-sama rose daintily from my lap. Sakura, invisible from Laya's vantage point, was still giving me dirty looks, though. It's not like I could help it, right? I mean, I couldn't just humiliate the young lady by telling her bluntly to get off, could I?
"Well, my wish would be for you to accompany me to the baths this evening," Laya-sama said after settling back on her seat. "I have a social engagement there, and my father's people would not permit me to go otherwise."
"All right," I answered. "You said something about disguises a while ago?"
"Oh, yes. You'd have to dress up as my servants. Sakura-chan would be my maid, of course. You three men would have to dress as my other male attendants do, I'm afraid."
I was afraid, too, quite frankly. Firstly, among these people, men and women are not separated in the baths. Secondly, servants were sometimes expected to follow their master or mistress. And lastly, many male servants of high-born ladies in this area are usually...
"You would dress us as eunuchs?" asked Sasuke quietly.
"Yes, pretty one," Laya-sama said as she flitted off to call her servants. "And you'd be quite the most beautiful eunuch in that party, Sasuke-kun.".
Sakura was blushing.
"What's a eunuch?" asked Naruto.
"You don't want to know," muttered Sasuke.
"You keep saying that! I do want to know. That's why I'm asking."
"Trust me you don't."
"You'll be wearing my silk summer robes and a little rouge, of course," Laya was saying then. "But then you might have to strip in bathhouse. But that's all right with you, ne? You ninjas are used to subterfuge and acting. And oh, surely none of you are ashamed of your hard-trained, sculpted bodies. I'm afraid, I shall be showing you off quite shamelessly!" She laughed.
Sakura was redder than the couch.
I tried not to sigh. "Very well," I said. "Sasuke, Naruto, you two go with Laya-sama's attendants. Sakura you stay with Laya-sama. Have a talk with her maids and find out what you're expected to do. Lady, I would speak with your seneschal and the head of security, if I may."
"Of course, but first the sleeping arrangements..."
Chu-chu-san appeared then. "An adjoining room to the mistress's had been prepared for you," he said, making it obvious that it certainly wasn't his idea.
"My bed chamber is available, you know," the princess helpfully informed us. "In case, it gets too tight in there."
It would be tight in there, indeed. (No nasty pun intended.) There's four of us, after all. "Sakura would stay with you, then, Laya-sama," I decided.
"B-but..." She laughed to cover her disappointment. "Wouldn't it be better if you protect me personally, sir? You are the highest ranking ninja here, after all. It would only be appropriate."
"Sakura is quite competent, lady. She shall keep you safe."
"But you have other reasons, eh?" she accused.
"Yes, actually." I gestured vaguely to the other three. "They aren't that young, see."
Sakura, after a few minutes respite for her face, was again blushing. "Sensei!" she cried in mortification.
"..." said Sasuke.
Even, Naruto got my meaning. "I'm not like that!" he protested indignantly. "It's not like I'm idolizing your and Pervy-sennin's pervy ways."
"And I suppose I'm not that young either," said Laya-sama in a flat voice.
"We're kinda glad you weren't a kid, miss," Naruto said placatingly. "We thought the Godaime tricked us into another babysitting assignment. Ha ha ha..."
"I'm glad you noticed," she answered petulantly. "My father treats me like a child still. And you." She pouted at my direction. "You think of me as a child, too, don't you?"
"..."
"Wouldn't you like to know exactly how mature I am?" she asked archly.
"I was under the impression that women find it offensive to be asked their age, m'lady," I murmured.
"Oh, very well." Laya sniffed, waving the discussion away. "I shan't tell you, then."
"If that is your wish, lady."
~~~
The silent grandiloquence of the Kila's ballroom was barely ruffled by the indistinct murmur of whispered conversation. It was from the middle of that black sea of marble the sound came. Four figures stood there, heads close together, mouths unreadable.
"Are you sure you're all right, Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto as the girl, for the umpteenth time, looked around the enormous cylindrical chamber, at the domed ceiling of dancing suns, roaring lions, and tongues of flames gilded gold. "You're fidgety."
"It's just that we're so exposed," she said.
"That's the idea," said Sasuke ever so helpfully.
"Oh, I get it," said Naruto. "We can see anybody coming from where we are. Nobody's going to hear us or read our lips. Plus, the floor is rock solid, right sensei?"
"Right," I answered for simplicity; I didn't really need to tell him Jiraiya asked me to take notes on the fabled Leonine Sunburst mansion–no doubt material for his next project. "As I was saying, remember that we work as a team. As always, never neglect to communicate your intent to the team for acting. Are we clear on everything?"
All three nodded.
"Good. Now we have to go to Laya-sama's apartments. It seems she wants to oversee our costumes."
As I had looked over the estate's blueprints, I was able to quickly navigate to our destination. Laya-sama was business-like when we came to her presence.
"Chu-chu-san would assist you," she said. "My closet would have to satisfy the demands of modesty." She turned to me. "You first, mystery man."
The servant Chuchu, with that face eternally scrunched as if in distaste, came to me. "Take off your mask," he ordered.
I didn't care much for his tone. "No," came my equally blunt reply.
"Why?"
"Old habits die hard."
"Laya-sama," the flabby man complained.
"Oh, leave him be, Chu-dear," she said laconically. "Truly I would not want to destroy that mysterious air of his." She almost purred. "That admirable air... that... sexy."
Again, I was hoping I heard her wrong. Situations like this could get out of hand. No shinobi wants to get tangled up in a mess involving clients–be it with conspiracies or with bed sheets.
"But I need to assess his features to find the suitable dress, m'lady."
"We're going to the baths, dear. We hardly need haute couture."
Chuchu sniffed. "You with the dark hair, then. Please fit the outfit on the third peg inside that room."
Wordlessly, Sasuke did as he was told. Sakura bounded after him to offer her assistance, but a terse "no" was what she got in return, followed by the closet door shutting on her face. Only a few moments passed before the dark-haired talker reappeared, still cool and still without any trace of self-consciousness.
"What's this fabric?" he asked, oblivious to the appreciative stares he was getting from the women.
"Spandex," replied Laya. "It's perfect for the occasion."
"It's perfect on you," breathed Sakura. She blushed as soon as she heard herself.
"Hmph," disagreed Naruto. "It's fashion faux. Pervy senin said so."
That was a little interesting; since when was the Toad senin a fashionista?
"How's the fit?" asked Chuchu.
"The way it's suppose to be," said Sasuke with an indifferent shrug.
Chuchu nodded curtly and, with a leap that startled Sakura and Naruto, went to the nearby doorway to call out to his assistants, "One size smaller for specimen A."
"Eh?!" protested Sakura. "That'll make it too tight!"
"That's the idea."
Before the situation could further deteriorate, a messenger respectfully knocked.
"M'lady, a message came from the Koshino household," said the liveried man. "He said to inform you that there has been a change in the motif."
"Eh?!" Again, Laya's imperial demure was broken.
The gentleman faltered. "He assured me it was most important for me to deliver the information as expressed, m'lady, as I have."
Laya sighed in disappointment. "Oh well." She dismissed him absently. "We aren't going 'Sauna & Spandex' today. How disappointing... Traditional, Chuchu-san."
Naruto didn't even bother to demand explanations. (I could have told him what he needed–and more–but I decided to spare them those kinds of torture.) He looked to his team mates ruefully. "Either of you care to tell me what's going on?" he asked.
"Heh," was all Sasuke relinquished, paired with a slight movement of his shoulders. Sakura was a bit more expressive with her groan.
"No idea," she muttered. "No idea at all."
I have to admit it now. I've regretted not conducting more thorough studies with my students on the various cultures of various countries and hidden villages, as well as subcultures within each of particular interest. Higher ranking missions, being more expensive, were usually procured by the rich and the powerful. The elites of each society subsist in sub-societies within each and have similarities and peculiarities worth knowing; Subterfuge and assimilation into the society is necessary when basic invisibility is insufficient. Oh, they've had lessons from the academy, but some of the juicier details involving the depravity of mankind was a bit age-inappropriate at that time (not to mention Iruka-sensei can get positively stodgy when he puts his mind to it). Learning had to come with experience, I suppose. As always.
~Feb 04, '04
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AN: Wow, I didn't expect the response I got. Thanks. ^_^ Hope you enjoyed this one. Till next time.