Lisa was sitting in the living room, the television was on but there
was no picture. When I walked in, her innocent face turned towards me and
her eyes moved up to meet mine. She held an expression that made her look
questionable. I guess she might have been unsure whether or not she still
had to pretend. I gave her a light smile and a wink and that seemed to
answer her question because her lips pulled upward to a bright smile and
she stood up and ran over to me, throwing her arms around my waist.
I blinked, this having been the first time she had gotten close to me, and the first time that I felt affection. Not knowing exactly what to do, I placed my hands on her shoulders and squeezed them gently before I crouched down in front of her and looked at her seriously. "Lisa, do you understand what is happening?"
She nodded and smiled. "Yes daddy, Robbie explained it to me last night."
I gave her a slight nod of the head and looked passed her at the puppy I had saved from being executed. I remember saving her and looking right into her face. She had a look in her eyes, almost as if she knew what was going to happen and begged to be saved. Then I nearly risked my life to save her and I killed all of those men just for a puppy.
I let out a small chuckle and looked back at my daughter. "Have you and Robbie thought of a name for the pup yet?"
She smiled and looked away from me and to the small animal and shrugged her shoulders. "Can we name her Viviana?"
I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I frowned a little but tried hiding it by letting one of the corners of my lips pull upward. I gave my broad shoulders a shrug. "Is that what you really want to name her?"
She looked back at me, her eyes seeming hopeful. "That was mommy's name, right?" I nodded agreeing.
"Yeah. . . I want to name her that because I miss mommy."
I gave her a saddened smile and nodded again. "All right, sure. We can name her Viviana." I gently squeezed her shoulder again and slowly stood up and moved to the television, turning it off.
"Daddy, do we still have to pretend?"
"No. I'm not sure what we will have to do next. We will just have to wait and see."
"I read that Mother Goose book, you brought home, today while you were out."
"Oh?"
She nodded and smiled. "I liked it."
"Have you ever read anything else before, besides the things you are told to read?"
Lisa's smile turned to a frown and she looked away as if she wanted to hide something from me—hide something that she had been hiding all along.
"Lisa?"
She looked back at me with sorrow in her eyes and she slowly nodded. "Yes. Letters."
"Letters? What kind of letters? Like in the alphabet?"
"No. . . Letters from mommy." My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at her questionably. "They were letters that she wrote for you and hid them. Robbie found them where he was hiding our Prozium. He said we couldn't show you until you stopped taking it like us."
I nodded and felt my heart thump loudly in my chest. What could she have written? "Can I see them now?"
She hesitantly got up off of the floor which she had been sitting on since I turned the TV off and slowly nodded. "Let me go get them?"
I nodded and motioned for her to go and she quickly disappeared out of the room and into another. I slowly moved over to a chair and sat down, placing my face into my hands before letting out a long sigh. It had been a long day and I couldn't believe I had gotten away with what I did, and still be alive. Now, I have no idea how to live life. How do I take care of two children on my own and love them? They originally were a law, a requirement of living. Now, they are in need of attention and affection. How do I act as a father should? I suppose since they lived without Prozium and without a mother and with their father emotionally dead, they could take care of themselves but something tells me that it shouldn't be the way of it.
Viviana (the puppy) crawled over to me and nudged her nose into my leg. I lifted my face from my hands and looked down at her. She appeared to be smiling, with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, panting gently. I moved a hand down and placed it upon her head, petting gently. "So Viviana. . .I guess you are safe now." I smiled a little and let her lick my hand. The voice in my head rang out; "Why do they keep these things? Do they eat them or something?" Brandt. He was one man I was glad to kill—a very stupid man at that. The thought of how easy and quick it was to kill him made me laugh a little. He planned to be wearing that new uniform for a while, and he will—until he rots away.
The door opened and Robbie stepped in. The poor child had gone through so much and trained to be what I am—all without Prozium, he had become so mature that he seems a lot older than he really is. "Hi dad."
I glanced up from the puppy and to my son and offered him a slight smile. "Hello son."
He shut the door behind him and walked all the way inside, stopping when he saw the blood on my neck. "You have been hurt?"
I had forgotten about the wound I got when one of Dupont's bullets grazed my neck, just missing. My hand moved to my neck and covered the wound as I nodded slightly. "Not so bad. I'll be fine. Just needs a little cleaning."
A corner of his lips pulled upward slightly and he reached into his pocket pulling out the untaken vile of Prozium. He held it in the palm of his hand and extended it out towards me. I shook my head and smiled. "Don't have to worry about that anymore."
He nodded. "I know, dad. I heard the factories explode. Father is dead now?"
"Yes."
"Do I have to go to training anymore?"
"No. There will be no more Grammaton."
"There will be something else though, right?"
"I do not know." I sighed, and desperate to find a different conversation, I quickly changed the subject as I stood up. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes."
I moved into the kitchen and started browsing through the food compartments. It was filled with non-tasteful foods and pre-nutrition portioned meals. I grumbled and scratched the back of my neck, mumbling to myself, "I sure hope they change this soon." I pulled out something and got out three plates, filling each with enough.
"The kids in school were so confused—so was the professor." Robbie said as he pulled out a chair and sat down in it.
I nodded, understandingly and set a plate down in front of him, frowning a little at the tasteless food placed before him. I knew he understood though and he began eating it as if it weren't a big deal. I suppose he had gotten used to it—pretending not to have emotion for so long.
Lisa came in just as I was setting her plate down on the table for her. I saw her shoulders sink a bit in a disappointed manner when she saw the plate of the usual food we had been eating all along. In her hands was a stack of letters that she had promised. I was curious and scared of what I was going to read in them but I knew I had to find out.
She moved over towards me and set the stack of papers down on the table next to my plate before she climbed up into her chair and started picking at her food, occasionally taking bites. I frowned watching her. "Don't worry; I'm sure our food will change soon too."
She nodded and gave me a smile before looking to her brother who suddenly did not look so engaged in his food as he had before. He was looking at the letters.
I myself, as I ate, could not keep my eyes from them either.
I blinked, this having been the first time she had gotten close to me, and the first time that I felt affection. Not knowing exactly what to do, I placed my hands on her shoulders and squeezed them gently before I crouched down in front of her and looked at her seriously. "Lisa, do you understand what is happening?"
She nodded and smiled. "Yes daddy, Robbie explained it to me last night."
I gave her a slight nod of the head and looked passed her at the puppy I had saved from being executed. I remember saving her and looking right into her face. She had a look in her eyes, almost as if she knew what was going to happen and begged to be saved. Then I nearly risked my life to save her and I killed all of those men just for a puppy.
I let out a small chuckle and looked back at my daughter. "Have you and Robbie thought of a name for the pup yet?"
She smiled and looked away from me and to the small animal and shrugged her shoulders. "Can we name her Viviana?"
I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I frowned a little but tried hiding it by letting one of the corners of my lips pull upward. I gave my broad shoulders a shrug. "Is that what you really want to name her?"
She looked back at me, her eyes seeming hopeful. "That was mommy's name, right?" I nodded agreeing.
"Yeah. . . I want to name her that because I miss mommy."
I gave her a saddened smile and nodded again. "All right, sure. We can name her Viviana." I gently squeezed her shoulder again and slowly stood up and moved to the television, turning it off.
"Daddy, do we still have to pretend?"
"No. I'm not sure what we will have to do next. We will just have to wait and see."
"I read that Mother Goose book, you brought home, today while you were out."
"Oh?"
She nodded and smiled. "I liked it."
"Have you ever read anything else before, besides the things you are told to read?"
Lisa's smile turned to a frown and she looked away as if she wanted to hide something from me—hide something that she had been hiding all along.
"Lisa?"
She looked back at me with sorrow in her eyes and she slowly nodded. "Yes. Letters."
"Letters? What kind of letters? Like in the alphabet?"
"No. . . Letters from mommy." My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at her questionably. "They were letters that she wrote for you and hid them. Robbie found them where he was hiding our Prozium. He said we couldn't show you until you stopped taking it like us."
I nodded and felt my heart thump loudly in my chest. What could she have written? "Can I see them now?"
She hesitantly got up off of the floor which she had been sitting on since I turned the TV off and slowly nodded. "Let me go get them?"
I nodded and motioned for her to go and she quickly disappeared out of the room and into another. I slowly moved over to a chair and sat down, placing my face into my hands before letting out a long sigh. It had been a long day and I couldn't believe I had gotten away with what I did, and still be alive. Now, I have no idea how to live life. How do I take care of two children on my own and love them? They originally were a law, a requirement of living. Now, they are in need of attention and affection. How do I act as a father should? I suppose since they lived without Prozium and without a mother and with their father emotionally dead, they could take care of themselves but something tells me that it shouldn't be the way of it.
Viviana (the puppy) crawled over to me and nudged her nose into my leg. I lifted my face from my hands and looked down at her. She appeared to be smiling, with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, panting gently. I moved a hand down and placed it upon her head, petting gently. "So Viviana. . .I guess you are safe now." I smiled a little and let her lick my hand. The voice in my head rang out; "Why do they keep these things? Do they eat them or something?" Brandt. He was one man I was glad to kill—a very stupid man at that. The thought of how easy and quick it was to kill him made me laugh a little. He planned to be wearing that new uniform for a while, and he will—until he rots away.
The door opened and Robbie stepped in. The poor child had gone through so much and trained to be what I am—all without Prozium, he had become so mature that he seems a lot older than he really is. "Hi dad."
I glanced up from the puppy and to my son and offered him a slight smile. "Hello son."
He shut the door behind him and walked all the way inside, stopping when he saw the blood on my neck. "You have been hurt?"
I had forgotten about the wound I got when one of Dupont's bullets grazed my neck, just missing. My hand moved to my neck and covered the wound as I nodded slightly. "Not so bad. I'll be fine. Just needs a little cleaning."
A corner of his lips pulled upward slightly and he reached into his pocket pulling out the untaken vile of Prozium. He held it in the palm of his hand and extended it out towards me. I shook my head and smiled. "Don't have to worry about that anymore."
He nodded. "I know, dad. I heard the factories explode. Father is dead now?"
"Yes."
"Do I have to go to training anymore?"
"No. There will be no more Grammaton."
"There will be something else though, right?"
"I do not know." I sighed, and desperate to find a different conversation, I quickly changed the subject as I stood up. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes."
I moved into the kitchen and started browsing through the food compartments. It was filled with non-tasteful foods and pre-nutrition portioned meals. I grumbled and scratched the back of my neck, mumbling to myself, "I sure hope they change this soon." I pulled out something and got out three plates, filling each with enough.
"The kids in school were so confused—so was the professor." Robbie said as he pulled out a chair and sat down in it.
I nodded, understandingly and set a plate down in front of him, frowning a little at the tasteless food placed before him. I knew he understood though and he began eating it as if it weren't a big deal. I suppose he had gotten used to it—pretending not to have emotion for so long.
Lisa came in just as I was setting her plate down on the table for her. I saw her shoulders sink a bit in a disappointed manner when she saw the plate of the usual food we had been eating all along. In her hands was a stack of letters that she had promised. I was curious and scared of what I was going to read in them but I knew I had to find out.
She moved over towards me and set the stack of papers down on the table next to my plate before she climbed up into her chair and started picking at her food, occasionally taking bites. I frowned watching her. "Don't worry; I'm sure our food will change soon too."
She nodded and gave me a smile before looking to her brother who suddenly did not look so engaged in his food as he had before. He was looking at the letters.
I myself, as I ate, could not keep my eyes from them either.