The Devil and Jimmy Neutron

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 8:

For the rest of class following lunch Jimmy said little, either to his friends or in answer to Miss Fowl's questions. That, coupled with Cindy's silence, made for a rare uninterrupted teaching day for Miss Fowl and an extremely long and uncomfortable one for the other students who were accustomed to drafting in Jimmy's and Cindy's wakes. When class finally ended the students greeted the final bell with a feeling of relief rather than the usual excitement and went their separate ways.

Jimmy walked home with Carl and Sheen. Although he said little neither of his friends appeared to notice, as did more than his usual amount of talking in anticipation of his date with Libby to see the Ultra Lord movie that evening. Occasionally he would stop to ask Jimmy and Carl for advice.

"Hey, guys," he said, "after the movie, if Libby and I play a video game, should I pay, or should we go Dutch treat, or should the loser pay?"

Jimmy shrugged. Carl looked puzzled. "Are we supposed to play video games with girls?" he asked.

"Hmm. Good point. Maybe we should just stick to more traditional first date activities, like, you know, maybe picking out patterns and registering at various fine department stores and stuff. Gee, I hope they still have those Ultra Lord linens at the mall." Sheen looked pensive. "Do you know if they have Ultra Lord china patterns anywhere?"

Jimmy shrugged again. Carl said, "I know they sell those Ultra Lord paper plates and cups and napkins in the party supplies section at the grocery store."

Sheen was delighted. "That's a great idea, Carl!" he exclaimed. "The only problem is that you can't wash them more than five or six times. Trust me. But I suppose I could save them just for when company comes over and for special occasions. Or maybe the wedding guests could buy us enough to last us forty or fifty years. I figure by then our eyesight will be so bad that we won't be able to tell what we're using anyway."

"Why are you talking like that, Sheen?" Carl asked.

"Because obviously this date will lead to a lifetime commitment of loving, honoring, and obeying until death does us part, " explained Sheen. "Unless Beautiful Gorgeous shows up for the wedding," he added. "That could get awkward."

"But Sheen," Carl objected, "Libby's only eleven. Isn't she too young to be thinking about marriage?"

"I suppose she would be if she was a guy," Sheen retorted. "But girls think about those things a lot sooner than guys do. Right, Jimmy?"

Jimmy only shrugged, but his face had a thoughtful expression.

"See?" Sheen told Carl.

At home Jimmy didn't say much at dinner either, but his parents were used to him being preoccupied at times and didn't press him for any details. They also didn't ask any questions when he retired early to his room, assuming that either he or some official law enforcement, military, or government agency would inform them of any details when the time came.

Up in his room Jimmy changed into his pajamas and brooded on his bed, joined only by his mechanical companion Goddard who waited patiently by Jimmy's side. "I don't know, Goddard," he said at last. "Something really doesn't make sense here. Cindy and I have known each other a long time, but she's never really ignored me like this before. Maybe I made her mad when I criticized the test that she got a perfect score on and that I failed. We've always been pretty competitive. But I don't think that's it. Usually she just calls me a overachieving brainiac and that's the end of it."

Goddard, like all good listeners, didn't interrupt and continued to listen.

"And that thing I overheard today during lunch. She said something to somebody about my never having told her that I loved her and that I never would. Why would she say that? Something's bothering her. But what?"

Goddard barked, more to give Jimmy a starting point for a new train of thought than anything else.

"I suppose," Jimmy went on slowly, "that it's possible that maybe she's been thinking about how I feel about her lately. I mean, Sheen did say that girls think about these things before guys do." His face brightened as the pieces seemed to fall into place. "I think maybe that's it. We have gotten kind of close from time to time but I've never really tried to take it anywhere. I mean, I have had kind of a thing for Betty and Cindy's had her eye on Nick for quite a while. But maybe deep down Cindy has really been interested in me and has been expecting me to make the first move all this time. And now maybe she's angry with me because I never have. Maybe she's decided that I haven't fallen for her and because of that I never will."

Jimmy shook his head. "Poor Cindy. I never thought about this sort of thing before. She must feel terrible. But now what? Goddard! Options!"

Obediently Goddard flipped up his front plate to display his video screen. On it were the words

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

Jimmy shook his head. "Too mature. Next."

The message on Goddard's display cleared to be replaced by

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

Jimmy gave Goddard a strange look. "Goddard, you just suggested that. Are you stuck in a loop or something? Re-evaluate options!."

Goddard's screen once again cleared and displayed the message

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

Jimmy felt confused. Either Goddard's logic circuits were malfunctioning or else there really only was one option for this situation with Cindy. Being a scientist he decided to run a test to determine which it was. "Goddard! Run predictive heuristics program self-diagnostic routine 157B!"

Again Goddard's video screen cleared, but this time the display changed to read

SYSTEM OPERATING WITHIN NOMINAL PARAMETERS

PREDICTIVE HEURISTICS PROGRAM OK

"I guess that's it, then," said Jimmy. "Tomorrow I'll get together with Cindy and talk this out." He yawned and stretched. "I guess I knew that someday it would come to it. I just didn't think it would be so soon. Well, good night, Goddard. Thanks for the advice." He climbed under the covers, turned out the lamp on the nightstand, and settled down to sleep.

Across the street outside the Neutron household Lou watched as Jimmy's window went dark and once again smiled his enigmatic smile. "Yes, good night, Goddard. You did just fine."

End of Part 8.