Hey all! I know it's been a long time (damn the real world and writer's block) but here's more of this and I've got virtually the entire story written, but I'll still only be updating once every week or two. Sorry.
Disclaimer: You guys should have already figured this out, but *whisper* Tainz does not own anything you recognise!!!
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Rogue looked around her nearly empty room. It had been four days since Kitty moved out and Rogue still couldn't figure out a way to arrange her own possessions to fill in the empty space left by Kitty's absence. Rogue hadn't been acquisitive at any point in her life and, with the fighting of so many minds over her preferences, she didn't even bother trying to make decisions about what to buy when Kitty or Jean dragged her shopping. She just didn't buy things.
Rogue moved her bed for the third time that morning, this time positioning it in the middle of the room. She shifted her desk and her dresser and moved her one poster to a different wall. She put a few of her CDs on every surface. It didn't matter what she did, the room seemed empty and far too quiet.
She looked up at the clock and saw that it was 11:30. Time for breakfast. She had taken to avoiding the kitchen and dining room during peak hours, because the other students at the mansion seemed to spend all of their time glaring at her or making rude comments about her as though she weren't there. She couldn't stand their pettiness, so she just avoided them. She hadn't been in the rec. room since about ten minutes after she got back from the woods with Logan. The only meal she ate with the others was dinner and that was only because the Professor requested that all of the students who were home eat dinner together, to give them a sense of 'family.'
She walked silently into the kitchen. Logan was there, but she didn't mind. He'd been treating her normally, although he wouldn't talk about whatever had happened with Kitty. She knew there had been something to do with a doll, but that was all she'd been able to find out and that was from the others' snide remarks.
"Hey Logan," she said dully, not caring if he responded or not. Part of her even hoped that he wouldn't, that he'd confirm what she was already sure of--that she wasn't worthy of existence.
He looked up from the classifieds in the newspaper. "Hey Stripes. How're you holding up?" He'd tried to get the other students to leave what had happened alone, but he wasn't allowed to explain to them why Rogue had acted like that and they weren't really interested unless he had a decent explanation.
"Fine." She put some bread into the toaster. "You?"
He could tell by her tone that she wasn't fine, but he didn't dare pursue it. "I'm okay. I think I'm gonna go buy this motorcycle later." He pointed to a specific ad, hoping to spark her interest. Rogue had seemed so empty since the whole thing with Kitty.
She glanced at the ad. It was marked as a 'fixer upper' "Cool." No enthusiasm. She didn't dare show any. If she did, she might feel more hurt than she already did. She opened a cupboard and pulled out the peanut butter.
Logan had known Rogue long enough to know that she only ate peanut butter and toast when she was upset and that was all she'd made herself since they came back from the bush. He knew that he needed to get her away from the other students, but he hadn't been able to think of a good excuse so far. She needed something that was hers.
"You wanna come?" he asked after a couple of minutes.
Her toast popped and she spread the peanut butter on it while she thought about his offer. "To get the motorcycle?" She was somewhat interested. She'd always loved motorcycles and she didn't feel like hanging around in her room again all day.
"Yeah."
She put the toast on a plate. "Sure. Ah mean, it ain't like Ah got any other plans." She shrugged. With everyone angry at her, there was nothing for her to do.
He got up. "I'm going to go figure out which bike I have to move to get space to fix this one. Come and find me when you're ready."
***
Rogue held onto Logan's middle a little tighter as he sped up from his already illegally high pace. He'd called ahead, and apparently the motorcycle ran, so she was going to get to ride it home. She was looking forward to it.
Finally, they pulled up in front of a well-kept white house. Logan rang the doorbell and a man came to the door.
"Hi. I'm Logan and this is Rogue. I called about the motorcycle."
The man nodded. "Sure. I'm Mark. Just give me a second to get my shoes on and I'll take you out to the garage."
Logan tapped his foot impatiently, but waited quietly. Rogue stood silently at his side, clutching her helmet under one arm as she shifted her weight subtly from one side to the other. At last, Mark finished tying his shoes and he grabbed his keys off of a table next to the door.
They went to the garage and Mark opened the big door. Sunlight flooded in and glinted off of a brand new motorcycle.
"That isn't the one you advertised," Logan said.
Mark went to the back corner of the big room and pulled a cover off of another bike that was sitting in the shadows back there. Its finish was scratched and dinged. The handlebars showed signs of rust and the handles themselves were worn almost down to the metal.
"This is. I just bought the other one and this one's been through the mill. It's perfect for someone to fix up for their daughter or something, though." Mark looked at Rogue.
"Ah'm not--" she started, but stopped at a glance from Logan. She stood there puzzled for a second, until Logan put his arm over her shoulder and started speaking. She almost laughed when she understood what he was doing.
"That's right. I'm trying to get a halfway decent bike for my daughter here. I'm going to teach her the mechanics she needs to keep it on the road for herself and then it's hers, free and clear."
Mark looked at her with new respect. "Rogue, right?" He extended his hand to shake.
Playing along with Logan's negotiations game, she took it. "Ah'm Christine. Rogue's just a family nickname." She picked the name at random and watched with glee as Logan grinned. She was not a Christine type of person.
"A pleasure," Mark said, probably hoping he could get a good price for the bike if he showed respect to Logan's daughter.
"You said she runs?" Logan asked.
"It isn't the smoothest, but she does run. She needs work and I just didn't have the time anymore." Mark ran a hand over the handlebars. "She was my first bike."
Logan smiled disarmingly. "Do you mind if Christine tries her out? I don't want her getting a bike that's not to her liking, size-wise."
Mark nodded and pulled a key off his key chain. He handed it to Rogue. "Sometimes you have to give her a little extra gas to get her going, but she will start."
Rogue smiled like a good little girl. "Thanks! Ah can't wait to get out on the open road!"
Logan frowned in a very concerned and fatherly way. "Now Christine, don't go too far. Just around the block. Once."
She rolled her eyes, enjoying her role. At least it took her mind off of her problems back at the Institute. "Yes Daddy."
Logan laughed out loud. The idea of him being anyone's "daddy" was too much. He covered it up quickly. "You look just like your mother when you do that."
Rogue climbed onto the bike and started it up. It popped and growled a little too much to be considered healthy, but it did run. She threw her helmet on and took off.
The bike didn't accelerate smoothly and she couldn't get it up to a particularly high speed, but she knew that Logan would be able to fix it. Her hair was just long enough to peep out from under her helmet and it whipped her neck stingingly in the wind. It felt good. She felt free. All she wanted was to keep riding forever and leave the world behind.
Without understanding how she'd gotten there, Rogue found herself twelve blocks from where she was supposed to be. She looked around for a second, startled, then took off back towards the house, at full throttle. When she got there, Logan looked at her strangely.
"I told you to take it around the block. You should have been back five minutes ago. I was going to go looking for you."
Rogue looked at the ground. "Sorry. Ah don't know what came over me. Ah just wanted to keep going."
Mark smiled at her. "It's a great feeling, isn't it? Being all on your own out there."
Rogue wouldn't have called what she'd just experienced a great feeling, but she nodded agreeably, not wanting to get into it.
Logan gave her a concerned glance, but started negotiations over the bike. In the end, he got it for far less than he thought he'd be able to, largely due to Rogue.
He wheeled the bike out to the end of the driveway, away from Mark. "What happened? It isn't like you to pull something like that."
She looked at him, a little scared. "Ah think Ah'm losin' mah mind. Ah was just... Ah was ridin' around the block, and then Ah was halfway across town. Ah can't understand how Ah got there."
He took her shoulder. "Are you going to be okay to ride that home?"
Rogue looked at the bike warily. "Yeah. Ah'll stay right behind you and if Ah take off, you'll be able to stop me."
They got on their motorcycles and the trip back to the Institute went by without event. She put the motorcycle in the corner of the garage Logan had cleared out.
"Have fun with it," she said, starting into the mansion.
"Wait, Stripes."
She turned around to look at him.
"I was serious about the bike being for you. You help me fix it, it's yours." He was in a generous mood and he knew that Rogue desperately needed something to think about other than what had happened out there in Bayville.
She shook her head. "Ah can't accept it. Look what happened out there. What if Ah end up halfway across the country next time? You gonna know where Ah am?"
"We'll install a tracker, if it makes you feel better. The bike's yours."
"Ah'm goin' insane. Ah'm blankin' out. That must be what happened when Ah hurt Kitty and that must be what happened just now. Ah'm dangerous." She hung her head. "Ah should probably get mahself locked away."
"You're not going insane. Trust me." He moved towards her and took her helmet from her hands. She hadn't put it away yet.
"Then what's happening? Ah asked the professor what happened with Kitty, and he wouldn't tell me. He won't tell me anything. Ah'm about ready to absorb him just to find out what's goin' on."
"I can't tell you what's happening."
"Logan... Ah have to know. Ah'm scared. It's givin' me nightmares."
He lifted her chin to look her straight in the eye. "What kind of nightmares?"
"The kind where Ah'm fadin' away... Where the psyches take over mah body and hurt everyone here."
He closed his eyes for a second. He'd known she'd figure it out on her own. "If you fight them hard enough, that'll never happen. That's why you're here, Stripes. To learn how to trap them. It's not going to happen."
"Logan, Ah think that's what's wrong. They're takin' over."
He knew what was coming next from the way she was looking at him. "No."
"They are. And... If it does happen and Ah'm not there to control them anymore..."
Logan shook his head. Please don't say it, he begged silently.
"If they've got control of mah body Ah want you to kill me. Ah'm not gonna be a danger to everyone Ah love." She knew that he was the only one who would even consider it.
He turned his back to her and put her helmet on a hook on the wall. "I won't."
"Logan, please. You have to promise me. Ah don't wanna be trapped."
"Then you have to promise not to let it happen, because I can't keep that promise." He leaned some of his weight on the helmet in his hands. "The bike's yours when you're ready to help work on it."
She spun on her heel and left the garage. She started up towards her room. It wasn't fair. She knew something was wrong, even if she didn't know for sure what it was. They should tell her. It was her sanity at risk, after all.
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So... There! I promise not to be so long before the next update!! Please R&R!!!
Love,
Tainz