A.N. I still don't own it even though this isn't a disclaimer. teeheehee. anyways, this is chapter 8. um.....la la la. please read it and then review. thanks to all those who have listened to my pathetic begging and have reviewed.
Chapter 8: Waking up
(Sirius's point of view)
I woke up with this aching in my head so profound that....it hurt. There was just no other way to say it. I wasn't sure for how long I'd been out. And come to think of it, I couldnt' figure out where I was or what had happened. Then again, my eyes hadn't really focused yet.
When I could see properly, I immediately knew what had happened. That night came rushing back to my memory. Going home. Eating a quick sandwhich. Going to my father's study. Disagreeing with him about Remus. Getting the beating of my life. Running away. Freezing. Alone. Despair. Sadness.
I gasped. This was the Potter's home. The last thing I could completely remember was having the door slammed in my face by James. He'd told me that he hadn't wanted to see me. Yet here I was, in the guest bed of his house. And sitting next to me, asleep in a chair, was Mrs. Potter. James was curled up in a small ball in a corner.
I had to get out. I knew I wasn't welcome there. I tried to get up, but my side still hurt so badly that I lay back down immediately with a small whimper. I was stuck. James was going to yell at me again. He'd probably been waiting to. And while I knew I deserved it, it still didn't mean that I welcomed it.
I started to think about everything. I vaugly remembered waking up sometime earlier and having someone gentle caring for me. Wrapping their arms around my battered body and whispering encouraging words in my ears. I kind of remembered a cool hand stroking my burning hand, in a soothing sort of way. I sort of remembered some other hand stroking back my hair in the middle of the night and also stroking my cheek. I probably dreamed it all up, so love deprived as I was.
Just then a sound came from the chair next to the bed. Mrs. Potter was stirring. She opened her eyes and blinked them to get the sleep out of them. Her gaze instantly went to me. When she saw that I was awake, a smile came to her face and she quickly got up to sit on the edge of the bed. Her hand went to my forehead and then went down my cheek in a motherly fashion.
"You're awake," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. Tears of happiness, I realized. "I'm so glad. I'm so very glad."
She wrapped her arms around my still aching body, but I suppressed a whimper and let her hold me. Plus, the hug felt better than it hurt. I had never been touched by someone like that before. Sure, Mrs. Potter had given me hugs before, but never one that was so...motherly. I guess my mom might have given my hugs when I was still known as part of the family. When I wasn't such a blood traitor.
The embrace seemed to last forever, and I enjoyed every moment of it. When she broke away from me, I looked up at her in an apologetic way. "I'm sorry. I'll be out of your way as soon as I possibly can be. I can go stay with...well, I'll find somewhere to stay. I'm sorry I've been such a burden. I just didn't know where else to go and you said that I was always welcome here...." I trailed off.
"You can stay as long as you want dear. In fact, I want you to stay for the rest of these holidays and then next summer too."
"Really?"
"Of course."
I thought for a minute. What would James have to say to that? I figured I'd ask him when he woke up. "I would really appreciate that, Mrs. Potter," I said.
"Good."
"Um...how long was I out?" I asked, not really wanting to know.
"You were out for....um, probably 8 days. You really got beat up. Your father did it didn't he?"
I hesitated before answering. "Yes he did."
"Did he use to beat you often?"
Once again, I paused before telling her. "Yes he did. Every time I went home it would be the same thing. I would get yelled at and then I would get beaten. This is the worst it's ever been though."
Mrs. Potter nodded. "I'm going to go get you something to eat. I'll be right back." With that, she left, just as a groan came from James's little corner. I turned to look at him and saw him uncurling himself from the wall. His gaze, like his mother's, went straight to me. When he saw that I was awake, I flinched slightly. I didn't want to face the torrent of words that was sure to come.
"Sirius," was all he said.
I opened my mouth to say something. To apologize. To explain. To shout. To whisper. Whatever, I wanted to say was cut off though. James hopped up from the floor and threw himself at me.
Before I knew it, James was wrapped around my waist. My still aching waist. But once again, I didn't care. The pain I was going through was worth it.
"I'm so sorry Sirius. I should have forgiven you ages ago. Mooney wanted to. But I wouldn't listen to him. And then you....when I saw you on the poarch I was angry. I didn't know you were injured so badly. And then you were on the couch....I could have lost you. And you would have died with the words of hatred in your mind."
"James, I-"
"I'm so sorry," James rambled on and on and on (like the energizer bunny).
"James!" I finally shouted to get his attention. He turned his sad eyes on me. "I should be the one begging for forgiveness. I almost killed you and Snape. You had every right to not wanna speak to me. And-"
"No, I'm the one to blame."
"No, I am."
"No, I am."
"No, I am!"
"No, I...why are we arguing about this?" asked James.
I thought about if for a moment. "I dont' know," I finally laughed. James laughed too and gave me another tight embrace. For the first time in months, despite Natalie and Ben, I actually felt loved and accepted. I was home.
Chapter 8: Waking up
(Sirius's point of view)
I woke up with this aching in my head so profound that....it hurt. There was just no other way to say it. I wasn't sure for how long I'd been out. And come to think of it, I couldnt' figure out where I was or what had happened. Then again, my eyes hadn't really focused yet.
When I could see properly, I immediately knew what had happened. That night came rushing back to my memory. Going home. Eating a quick sandwhich. Going to my father's study. Disagreeing with him about Remus. Getting the beating of my life. Running away. Freezing. Alone. Despair. Sadness.
I gasped. This was the Potter's home. The last thing I could completely remember was having the door slammed in my face by James. He'd told me that he hadn't wanted to see me. Yet here I was, in the guest bed of his house. And sitting next to me, asleep in a chair, was Mrs. Potter. James was curled up in a small ball in a corner.
I had to get out. I knew I wasn't welcome there. I tried to get up, but my side still hurt so badly that I lay back down immediately with a small whimper. I was stuck. James was going to yell at me again. He'd probably been waiting to. And while I knew I deserved it, it still didn't mean that I welcomed it.
I started to think about everything. I vaugly remembered waking up sometime earlier and having someone gentle caring for me. Wrapping their arms around my battered body and whispering encouraging words in my ears. I kind of remembered a cool hand stroking my burning hand, in a soothing sort of way. I sort of remembered some other hand stroking back my hair in the middle of the night and also stroking my cheek. I probably dreamed it all up, so love deprived as I was.
Just then a sound came from the chair next to the bed. Mrs. Potter was stirring. She opened her eyes and blinked them to get the sleep out of them. Her gaze instantly went to me. When she saw that I was awake, a smile came to her face and she quickly got up to sit on the edge of the bed. Her hand went to my forehead and then went down my cheek in a motherly fashion.
"You're awake," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. Tears of happiness, I realized. "I'm so glad. I'm so very glad."
She wrapped her arms around my still aching body, but I suppressed a whimper and let her hold me. Plus, the hug felt better than it hurt. I had never been touched by someone like that before. Sure, Mrs. Potter had given me hugs before, but never one that was so...motherly. I guess my mom might have given my hugs when I was still known as part of the family. When I wasn't such a blood traitor.
The embrace seemed to last forever, and I enjoyed every moment of it. When she broke away from me, I looked up at her in an apologetic way. "I'm sorry. I'll be out of your way as soon as I possibly can be. I can go stay with...well, I'll find somewhere to stay. I'm sorry I've been such a burden. I just didn't know where else to go and you said that I was always welcome here...." I trailed off.
"You can stay as long as you want dear. In fact, I want you to stay for the rest of these holidays and then next summer too."
"Really?"
"Of course."
I thought for a minute. What would James have to say to that? I figured I'd ask him when he woke up. "I would really appreciate that, Mrs. Potter," I said.
"Good."
"Um...how long was I out?" I asked, not really wanting to know.
"You were out for....um, probably 8 days. You really got beat up. Your father did it didn't he?"
I hesitated before answering. "Yes he did."
"Did he use to beat you often?"
Once again, I paused before telling her. "Yes he did. Every time I went home it would be the same thing. I would get yelled at and then I would get beaten. This is the worst it's ever been though."
Mrs. Potter nodded. "I'm going to go get you something to eat. I'll be right back." With that, she left, just as a groan came from James's little corner. I turned to look at him and saw him uncurling himself from the wall. His gaze, like his mother's, went straight to me. When he saw that I was awake, I flinched slightly. I didn't want to face the torrent of words that was sure to come.
"Sirius," was all he said.
I opened my mouth to say something. To apologize. To explain. To shout. To whisper. Whatever, I wanted to say was cut off though. James hopped up from the floor and threw himself at me.
Before I knew it, James was wrapped around my waist. My still aching waist. But once again, I didn't care. The pain I was going through was worth it.
"I'm so sorry Sirius. I should have forgiven you ages ago. Mooney wanted to. But I wouldn't listen to him. And then you....when I saw you on the poarch I was angry. I didn't know you were injured so badly. And then you were on the couch....I could have lost you. And you would have died with the words of hatred in your mind."
"James, I-"
"I'm so sorry," James rambled on and on and on (like the energizer bunny).
"James!" I finally shouted to get his attention. He turned his sad eyes on me. "I should be the one begging for forgiveness. I almost killed you and Snape. You had every right to not wanna speak to me. And-"
"No, I'm the one to blame."
"No, I am."
"No, I am."
"No, I am!"
"No, I...why are we arguing about this?" asked James.
I thought about if for a moment. "I dont' know," I finally laughed. James laughed too and gave me another tight embrace. For the first time in months, despite Natalie and Ben, I actually felt loved and accepted. I was home.