*A/N: Dropping some notes to my immortal beloved ~~
-Temira: I didn't forget I had finals and the holidays hindering me, but I am back and ready for the challenge! Thanks for the review!
-Vest-Button: I never thought about using Freddie's song for Owynvan. I am glad you like him so, poor dolt he is and all-he's a really good guy at heart! See if you can catch the lyrics-this is for you!
-Steelsheen: I am so glad that you don't think Boromir is that OOC. He's coming down a bit into his own nature! Happy Reading!
-Alina11: Thanks for continuing to read! Here is the next chapter for your enjoyment!
-Oracle10: Well thank you very much! You made me blush! I greatly appreciate it!
-DiamondTook3: I understand the busy-I have three papers due for my grad program but I can't help but write about Halla-I have ideas-- she's practically writing herself! Thanks!
-CalypsoAntigone: Don't go aweh! Here's more for yeh!
-Angel of Harlem: Thank you for your faithfulness! From one Angel to another."Hey now check your change."
*Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien (such as Boromir, Faramir, or Denethor) or the story of "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw or the musical "My Fair Lady" which is based on said play by Shaw. I own only Hallahiriel, the Barmaid of Dol Amroth.
This is a PARODY of both works. Boromir is the Henry Higgins, Faramir is Colonel Pickering, Hallahiriel is Eliza Doolittle and Denethor is the rough equivalent of Henry Higgins's uppity Ascot attending mother. The story is set in 3008, ten years before "Fellowship". Boromir is 30 and Faramir is 25.
MY FAIR BARMAID: A COMEDY
By Leah Pensotti
Chapter Eight: A Hymn to Him
Hallahiriel made her way downstairs after Corerith finished fussing over her. Corerith brought her a deep blue-gray dress with long sleeves that flared at the wrist. She twisted Hallahiriel's hair into a complicated braid all the while weaving ribbons through it. While she appreciated Corerith's attention to detail, she thought of it as a tremendous waste of time.
When she crossed the threshold to the dining hall, Hallahiriel saw Boromir and Faramir, breakfasts before them and speaking in low tones. She made her way to the table and slipped unnoticed into her empty chair and watched as the brothers continued on. She cleared her throat subtly and then Boromir and Faramir turned their heads towards her. Hallahiriel smiled wryly; "Shall I hear the plan? Or is it a secret?"
Boromir sighed thickly, "The plan is that we will meet Owynvan and Therassa when they call today. We will be pleasant and exceptionally tasteful in conversational content."
Hallahiriel wrinkled her brow, "So you mean that we have to go through with it?"
Boromir nodded firmly, "Yes. We both need to stay out of trouble today, Halla. It is imperative."
Faramir sighed thickly and looked to his brother, "Are you sure we couldn't send word to them. Perhaps tell them that we were called away on urgent business."
Boromir huffed, "That won't work. We must face this head on. No matter how intolerable it seems. It is the only way to continue what progress we have made. We cannot stop now. Halla has come too far."
Hallahiriel hid a smile at the small statement of praise. Yet she knew that what she had accomplished had not truly changed her. It was merely baths, pretty dresses and flowery speech. She was still the barmaid from Dol Amroth deep down inside.
Hallahiriel looked to Boromir questioningly, "What shall I keep to, Boromir? In the way of 'conversational content', I mean."
Boromir thoughtfully rubbed his chin, "Well, no talk of being a barmaid, ale, or your family. If you are to pass as nobility, you must act as though you come from it. Do not speak of your father; that is for certain. You don't have to tell that foolish Owynvan anything of your family. It's none of his concern. In fact, don't reveal anything about yourself at all."
Hallahiriel looked confused, "But what if he asks me about how I feel about something? What shall I say?"
Boromir chuckled, "You feel nothing. Come to think of it, it may be best if you say nothing at all. Just nod, smile or giggle if he says anything he thinks is remotely funny. Bat your eyelashes and seem interested."
Hallahiriel felt rage clotted in her throat, "But I'm not interested! I don't want to spend another minute with him! And I have feelings, too. You seem to know that by the way you repeatedly stomp on them over and over! I am not your puppet, Boromir!"
Faramir placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "There, there Halla. Boromir, in his own tactless way, is just trying to help you."
Boromir looked at his brother, "Thank you for the defense, Faramir."
Faramir nodded and turned back to the girl, "What I believe he is trying to say is don't tell Owynvan anything personal. Talk about trivialities and unimportant things. However, I would suggest not flirting with him, he might get the wrong idea."
"I wasn't planning on it."
~~
Two hours later, Hallahiriel, Faramir and Boromir all sat in the hall waiting for their guests to come. Hallahiriel slumped in her chair moodily, hoping for the ordeal to be quick and painless. She didn't like the idea of meeting with Owynvan or giving him false hope. She did not like him, in any way. He was oafish and moony and Hallahiriel had no time or patience for such nonsense.
A knock came upon the door and Boromir called, "Come in."
Corerith walked in quietly and nodded, "Lady Therassa and her brother Owynvan have arrived, my lord."
Boromir sighed, "Show them in."
A few minutes passed until Therassa walked over the threshold, adorned in burgundy with her dark hair loose and waving. Owynvan walked headlong after her wearing an idiot smile and looking foolishly happy. Hallahiriel stood up next to Boromir and Faramir and awaited the fate that loomed before her.
Therassa beamed at Boromir, her sharp features coyly making her approach. She made Hallahiriel feel uneasy, like a chill wind trapped her in a forgotten corridor. Boromir took Therassa's hand and kissed it gently. Hallahiriel had an unexpected feeling of hatred for the lady. As Boromir and Therassa made their pleasantries, Owynvan and his foolish grin approached Hallahiriel.
He took Hallahiriel's hand and kissed it dramatically, "O, Lady Hallahiriel, I did not sleep throughout the night in anticipation of our meeting."
Hallahiriel refrained from rolling her eyes and spoke plaintively, "Nor did I."
Both Boromir and Faramir stifled a chuckle as Owynvan continued, "Shall we go for a walk, my lady?"
Hallahiriel turned to Boromir and Faramir, who gave her silent nods pushing for her to go. Hallahiriel agreed with a sound close to exasperation, "Yes."
Owynvan offered her his arm and she merely stared at it, truly unwilling to take it. Finally, she relented and they walked outside to the courtyard. Hallahiriel remained silent as they walked, partly because Owynvan jeopardized most of the conversation with his incessant nattering. Her thoughts strayed to what Boromir and Therassa were speaking of or what they might be doing.
She was confused about the spite she had for Therassa. She really shouldn't even care about her at all. She should only really care about how to escape Owynvan before he tries to "woo" her.
"Shall I sing for you now, lady?"
Hallahiriel looked up in fear, "No! I mean, I really don't care for singing."
Owynvan stammered, "Then how about a verse? I wrote one for you."
Hallahiriel sighed laboriously, "Alright. I quite prefer short verses."
Owynvan smiled excitedly and cleared his throat, "And oh! The towering feeling just to know somehow you are near-"
Hallahiriel groaned. Owynvan stopped short, "Are you alright, lady? You're not going to be taken ill are you?"
Hallahiriel nodded, "Yes, I'm afraid so."
"Shall I take you back inside?"
Halla nodded again and Owynvan took her by the wrist and led her through the courtyard, "I shall finish my verse indoors."
Hallahiriel felt disappointment pull at her heart, she thought that she had successfully escaped Owynvan's attempt at poetry.
~~
A/N-next chapter should be a doozy. Halla and Therassa square off. Brumwen learns the truth from Gweddyn. Faramir tries to keep it all together. And finally, Boromir and Hallahiriel get closer.
Please Read and Review! I Heart Feedback!
-Temira: I didn't forget I had finals and the holidays hindering me, but I am back and ready for the challenge! Thanks for the review!
-Vest-Button: I never thought about using Freddie's song for Owynvan. I am glad you like him so, poor dolt he is and all-he's a really good guy at heart! See if you can catch the lyrics-this is for you!
-Steelsheen: I am so glad that you don't think Boromir is that OOC. He's coming down a bit into his own nature! Happy Reading!
-Alina11: Thanks for continuing to read! Here is the next chapter for your enjoyment!
-Oracle10: Well thank you very much! You made me blush! I greatly appreciate it!
-DiamondTook3: I understand the busy-I have three papers due for my grad program but I can't help but write about Halla-I have ideas-- she's practically writing herself! Thanks!
-CalypsoAntigone: Don't go aweh! Here's more for yeh!
-Angel of Harlem: Thank you for your faithfulness! From one Angel to another."Hey now check your change."
*Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien (such as Boromir, Faramir, or Denethor) or the story of "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw or the musical "My Fair Lady" which is based on said play by Shaw. I own only Hallahiriel, the Barmaid of Dol Amroth.
This is a PARODY of both works. Boromir is the Henry Higgins, Faramir is Colonel Pickering, Hallahiriel is Eliza Doolittle and Denethor is the rough equivalent of Henry Higgins's uppity Ascot attending mother. The story is set in 3008, ten years before "Fellowship". Boromir is 30 and Faramir is 25.
MY FAIR BARMAID: A COMEDY
By Leah Pensotti
Chapter Eight: A Hymn to Him
Hallahiriel made her way downstairs after Corerith finished fussing over her. Corerith brought her a deep blue-gray dress with long sleeves that flared at the wrist. She twisted Hallahiriel's hair into a complicated braid all the while weaving ribbons through it. While she appreciated Corerith's attention to detail, she thought of it as a tremendous waste of time.
When she crossed the threshold to the dining hall, Hallahiriel saw Boromir and Faramir, breakfasts before them and speaking in low tones. She made her way to the table and slipped unnoticed into her empty chair and watched as the brothers continued on. She cleared her throat subtly and then Boromir and Faramir turned their heads towards her. Hallahiriel smiled wryly; "Shall I hear the plan? Or is it a secret?"
Boromir sighed thickly, "The plan is that we will meet Owynvan and Therassa when they call today. We will be pleasant and exceptionally tasteful in conversational content."
Hallahiriel wrinkled her brow, "So you mean that we have to go through with it?"
Boromir nodded firmly, "Yes. We both need to stay out of trouble today, Halla. It is imperative."
Faramir sighed thickly and looked to his brother, "Are you sure we couldn't send word to them. Perhaps tell them that we were called away on urgent business."
Boromir huffed, "That won't work. We must face this head on. No matter how intolerable it seems. It is the only way to continue what progress we have made. We cannot stop now. Halla has come too far."
Hallahiriel hid a smile at the small statement of praise. Yet she knew that what she had accomplished had not truly changed her. It was merely baths, pretty dresses and flowery speech. She was still the barmaid from Dol Amroth deep down inside.
Hallahiriel looked to Boromir questioningly, "What shall I keep to, Boromir? In the way of 'conversational content', I mean."
Boromir thoughtfully rubbed his chin, "Well, no talk of being a barmaid, ale, or your family. If you are to pass as nobility, you must act as though you come from it. Do not speak of your father; that is for certain. You don't have to tell that foolish Owynvan anything of your family. It's none of his concern. In fact, don't reveal anything about yourself at all."
Hallahiriel looked confused, "But what if he asks me about how I feel about something? What shall I say?"
Boromir chuckled, "You feel nothing. Come to think of it, it may be best if you say nothing at all. Just nod, smile or giggle if he says anything he thinks is remotely funny. Bat your eyelashes and seem interested."
Hallahiriel felt rage clotted in her throat, "But I'm not interested! I don't want to spend another minute with him! And I have feelings, too. You seem to know that by the way you repeatedly stomp on them over and over! I am not your puppet, Boromir!"
Faramir placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "There, there Halla. Boromir, in his own tactless way, is just trying to help you."
Boromir looked at his brother, "Thank you for the defense, Faramir."
Faramir nodded and turned back to the girl, "What I believe he is trying to say is don't tell Owynvan anything personal. Talk about trivialities and unimportant things. However, I would suggest not flirting with him, he might get the wrong idea."
"I wasn't planning on it."
~~
Two hours later, Hallahiriel, Faramir and Boromir all sat in the hall waiting for their guests to come. Hallahiriel slumped in her chair moodily, hoping for the ordeal to be quick and painless. She didn't like the idea of meeting with Owynvan or giving him false hope. She did not like him, in any way. He was oafish and moony and Hallahiriel had no time or patience for such nonsense.
A knock came upon the door and Boromir called, "Come in."
Corerith walked in quietly and nodded, "Lady Therassa and her brother Owynvan have arrived, my lord."
Boromir sighed, "Show them in."
A few minutes passed until Therassa walked over the threshold, adorned in burgundy with her dark hair loose and waving. Owynvan walked headlong after her wearing an idiot smile and looking foolishly happy. Hallahiriel stood up next to Boromir and Faramir and awaited the fate that loomed before her.
Therassa beamed at Boromir, her sharp features coyly making her approach. She made Hallahiriel feel uneasy, like a chill wind trapped her in a forgotten corridor. Boromir took Therassa's hand and kissed it gently. Hallahiriel had an unexpected feeling of hatred for the lady. As Boromir and Therassa made their pleasantries, Owynvan and his foolish grin approached Hallahiriel.
He took Hallahiriel's hand and kissed it dramatically, "O, Lady Hallahiriel, I did not sleep throughout the night in anticipation of our meeting."
Hallahiriel refrained from rolling her eyes and spoke plaintively, "Nor did I."
Both Boromir and Faramir stifled a chuckle as Owynvan continued, "Shall we go for a walk, my lady?"
Hallahiriel turned to Boromir and Faramir, who gave her silent nods pushing for her to go. Hallahiriel agreed with a sound close to exasperation, "Yes."
Owynvan offered her his arm and she merely stared at it, truly unwilling to take it. Finally, she relented and they walked outside to the courtyard. Hallahiriel remained silent as they walked, partly because Owynvan jeopardized most of the conversation with his incessant nattering. Her thoughts strayed to what Boromir and Therassa were speaking of or what they might be doing.
She was confused about the spite she had for Therassa. She really shouldn't even care about her at all. She should only really care about how to escape Owynvan before he tries to "woo" her.
"Shall I sing for you now, lady?"
Hallahiriel looked up in fear, "No! I mean, I really don't care for singing."
Owynvan stammered, "Then how about a verse? I wrote one for you."
Hallahiriel sighed laboriously, "Alright. I quite prefer short verses."
Owynvan smiled excitedly and cleared his throat, "And oh! The towering feeling just to know somehow you are near-"
Hallahiriel groaned. Owynvan stopped short, "Are you alright, lady? You're not going to be taken ill are you?"
Hallahiriel nodded, "Yes, I'm afraid so."
"Shall I take you back inside?"
Halla nodded again and Owynvan took her by the wrist and led her through the courtyard, "I shall finish my verse indoors."
Hallahiriel felt disappointment pull at her heart, she thought that she had successfully escaped Owynvan's attempt at poetry.
~~
A/N-next chapter should be a doozy. Halla and Therassa square off. Brumwen learns the truth from Gweddyn. Faramir tries to keep it all together. And finally, Boromir and Hallahiriel get closer.
Please Read and Review! I Heart Feedback!