Disclaimer: i have not come into ownership of this book yet, however, i've almost got a plan. teeheehee
this is the next chapter. obviously. i know it's been like a little bit since i last posted, but i've had school, and sleep is needed, and the antibiotics make my head hurt, and writers block never helps anyone in writing something, and....that's all. anyways, read the chapter. this one is actually pretty good. I think anyways.
Chapter 10 Return
James and I got back to Platform 9 3/4. When we entered, I started scanning the crowds, looking for familiar faces. I saw the Malfoy family there with Regulus. Regulus saw me and smiled smugly. He had obviously heard what had happened. I forced myself to look away from him and continue gazing around.
Then I saw Remus. He looked ill, pale, and lonely. I cringed inwardly. I was afraid of what he was going to say. Although James had forgiven me, and had said that Remus had forgiven me, I was still anxious. James had seen me staring at Remus and he gave me a quick pat on the back, muttering in my ear, "Everything's going to be alright."
I wasn't really convinced, so I said good bye to Mrs. Potter and told James I'd find a compartment on the train. James nodded and Mrs. Potter gave me a kiss on the cheek. I knew that James would go over to Remus and explain things. At the moment, I wasn't in the mood to be spilling my guts to anybody out in front of everyone.
I walked onto the train, dragging my trunk behind me. I found an empty compartment and sat down in it, feeling apprehensive. If I was Remus I would still be furious. Then again, if I was Remus, none of this would have happened. I glanced nervously at my watch. The train would be leaving in about five minutes. That meant that I would have to confront Remus sooner than I wanted to.
The moment I had been apprehensively waiting for came. James and Remus entered the compartment. James sat down beside me and Remus sat down across from me. Peter was no where to be seen. I glanced at James questionly and he shrugged and then nodded back to Remus.
Silence reigned in the compartment for a few minutes. Tense, long, profound silence.
Remus was the first one to break the silence. "James told me what happened. Are you alright?"
I gazed at him, shocked. "You're not mad at me? You're not going to wish I had never been born? You're not going to storm out of here because I was a big jerk? You're not going to yell profanities at me?"
Remus sighed. "Sirius, I spent two months doing that. I'm tired of being angry at one of my closest friends. Yes you made a mistake. Yes I won't be able to trust you in the same way anymore. Yes it hurt me how you so easily betrayed my trust. And yes, I still want to be your friend. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, the mistakes are bigger than the other ones. But I don't care. I'm tired of being angry at you. I just want to get on with my life. It never did anybody any good living in the past."
I stared at him with an open mouth. What Remus had just said moved me so deeply that it surprised me. I had been expecting words of reprimand, or words of saddness, or even words of furious anger, but not words of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Just goes to show I shouldn't underestimate my friends so much.
Just then the door opened and Peter walked in. "You have no idea how long it took me to....Sirius, why are you here?"
"Everything's forgiven, Peter," answered Remus, looking sternly at the confused boy.
"I'll explain everything while we take a nice little stroll," James said, taking Peter by the arm and leading him back out the door. Leaving me alone with Remus, who was now looking at me closely.
"Why do you still have bruises and scars?" he asked finally. I looked down at my arm. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt, but my father had been violent with every part of my body it seemed. (a.n. please don't think that means more than it does. we're having nice clean minds while we read this, aye?) On my wrist was a long red slash where it had been sliced with a knife. The little bit of skin that was showing above that showed proof of being battered and beaten. The back of my hand was also a large black bruise.
I sighed. "Magic can't do everything and considering they aren't really all that painful it's alright just to leave them there. Just a disfiguration on my otherwise perfect self."
Remus laughed, but got somber rather quickly. "He hurt you because of me didn't he."
I paused for a minute. Yes, my father had lost his patience because I wouldn't tell him that Remus was the werewolf, but I would probably have gotten the same beating for something else later.
"Yes, and no," I answered. He looked confused so I went on to explain. "My father was mad at me the moment I entered the house. He wanted me to tell him who the werewolf was and I said I'd rather before I betrayed my friend again."
"What did he say to that?" interrupted Remus.
"Only that I might. That's not the point. If I had told him what he wanted to know then he probably would have just given me the same beating later for some other thing that I had done. I meant what I said though. I would rather be dead than watching you hurt."
"Thanks," Remus said, looking at me as if he had never seen me before. James and Peter came back in moments after that conversation, and the rest of the train ride continued on as every other one we had been on together.
We arrived at Hogwarts at about 6:00 pm. I got off with my friends and we rode up in the carriages together, still laughing and joking.
When we got to where the carriages stopped, I got out, suddenly noticing how hungry I was.
"I'm hungry," I whined to James and Remus. Peter had gone elsewhere to find his girlfriend. Why he has one and I don't is a complete mystery to me.
"You're always hungry," answered Remus, laughing slightly.
"Yeah Padfoot. Anyways, you don't need any food. You're developing what some people would call baby fat at a younger age," teased James.
"Shut up Prongs," I growled, which made Remus and James laugh more.
We walked into the Great Hall. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own joy, I would have noticed Natalie and Ben in the corner. If I hadn't been so happy, then Natalie's tears would have certainly come to my notice. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in James and Remus, I would have noticed Ben gesturing for me to come over to them. However, my life was back to it being James, Remus, Peter, and myself and my only concerns were them and food. Given that, I didn't notice and sat down as if they had never existed. However, I felt as if I was forgetting something, but what?
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A.N. and that was the chapter. ok, i might have lied. that one probably was no better than the other ones. but that's ok. please review. love to all.
this is the next chapter. obviously. i know it's been like a little bit since i last posted, but i've had school, and sleep is needed, and the antibiotics make my head hurt, and writers block never helps anyone in writing something, and....that's all. anyways, read the chapter. this one is actually pretty good. I think anyways.
Chapter 10 Return
James and I got back to Platform 9 3/4. When we entered, I started scanning the crowds, looking for familiar faces. I saw the Malfoy family there with Regulus. Regulus saw me and smiled smugly. He had obviously heard what had happened. I forced myself to look away from him and continue gazing around.
Then I saw Remus. He looked ill, pale, and lonely. I cringed inwardly. I was afraid of what he was going to say. Although James had forgiven me, and had said that Remus had forgiven me, I was still anxious. James had seen me staring at Remus and he gave me a quick pat on the back, muttering in my ear, "Everything's going to be alright."
I wasn't really convinced, so I said good bye to Mrs. Potter and told James I'd find a compartment on the train. James nodded and Mrs. Potter gave me a kiss on the cheek. I knew that James would go over to Remus and explain things. At the moment, I wasn't in the mood to be spilling my guts to anybody out in front of everyone.
I walked onto the train, dragging my trunk behind me. I found an empty compartment and sat down in it, feeling apprehensive. If I was Remus I would still be furious. Then again, if I was Remus, none of this would have happened. I glanced nervously at my watch. The train would be leaving in about five minutes. That meant that I would have to confront Remus sooner than I wanted to.
The moment I had been apprehensively waiting for came. James and Remus entered the compartment. James sat down beside me and Remus sat down across from me. Peter was no where to be seen. I glanced at James questionly and he shrugged and then nodded back to Remus.
Silence reigned in the compartment for a few minutes. Tense, long, profound silence.
Remus was the first one to break the silence. "James told me what happened. Are you alright?"
I gazed at him, shocked. "You're not mad at me? You're not going to wish I had never been born? You're not going to storm out of here because I was a big jerk? You're not going to yell profanities at me?"
Remus sighed. "Sirius, I spent two months doing that. I'm tired of being angry at one of my closest friends. Yes you made a mistake. Yes I won't be able to trust you in the same way anymore. Yes it hurt me how you so easily betrayed my trust. And yes, I still want to be your friend. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, the mistakes are bigger than the other ones. But I don't care. I'm tired of being angry at you. I just want to get on with my life. It never did anybody any good living in the past."
I stared at him with an open mouth. What Remus had just said moved me so deeply that it surprised me. I had been expecting words of reprimand, or words of saddness, or even words of furious anger, but not words of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Just goes to show I shouldn't underestimate my friends so much.
Just then the door opened and Peter walked in. "You have no idea how long it took me to....Sirius, why are you here?"
"Everything's forgiven, Peter," answered Remus, looking sternly at the confused boy.
"I'll explain everything while we take a nice little stroll," James said, taking Peter by the arm and leading him back out the door. Leaving me alone with Remus, who was now looking at me closely.
"Why do you still have bruises and scars?" he asked finally. I looked down at my arm. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt, but my father had been violent with every part of my body it seemed. (a.n. please don't think that means more than it does. we're having nice clean minds while we read this, aye?) On my wrist was a long red slash where it had been sliced with a knife. The little bit of skin that was showing above that showed proof of being battered and beaten. The back of my hand was also a large black bruise.
I sighed. "Magic can't do everything and considering they aren't really all that painful it's alright just to leave them there. Just a disfiguration on my otherwise perfect self."
Remus laughed, but got somber rather quickly. "He hurt you because of me didn't he."
I paused for a minute. Yes, my father had lost his patience because I wouldn't tell him that Remus was the werewolf, but I would probably have gotten the same beating for something else later.
"Yes, and no," I answered. He looked confused so I went on to explain. "My father was mad at me the moment I entered the house. He wanted me to tell him who the werewolf was and I said I'd rather before I betrayed my friend again."
"What did he say to that?" interrupted Remus.
"Only that I might. That's not the point. If I had told him what he wanted to know then he probably would have just given me the same beating later for some other thing that I had done. I meant what I said though. I would rather be dead than watching you hurt."
"Thanks," Remus said, looking at me as if he had never seen me before. James and Peter came back in moments after that conversation, and the rest of the train ride continued on as every other one we had been on together.
We arrived at Hogwarts at about 6:00 pm. I got off with my friends and we rode up in the carriages together, still laughing and joking.
When we got to where the carriages stopped, I got out, suddenly noticing how hungry I was.
"I'm hungry," I whined to James and Remus. Peter had gone elsewhere to find his girlfriend. Why he has one and I don't is a complete mystery to me.
"You're always hungry," answered Remus, laughing slightly.
"Yeah Padfoot. Anyways, you don't need any food. You're developing what some people would call baby fat at a younger age," teased James.
"Shut up Prongs," I growled, which made Remus and James laugh more.
We walked into the Great Hall. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own joy, I would have noticed Natalie and Ben in the corner. If I hadn't been so happy, then Natalie's tears would have certainly come to my notice. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in James and Remus, I would have noticed Ben gesturing for me to come over to them. However, my life was back to it being James, Remus, Peter, and myself and my only concerns were them and food. Given that, I didn't notice and sat down as if they had never existed. However, I felt as if I was forgetting something, but what?
*************
A.N. and that was the chapter. ok, i might have lied. that one probably was no better than the other ones. but that's ok. please review. love to all.