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Enjoy!
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honored! In my other three stories, I have a character named Ireth!
-Tee: More emotions. Got it. Boromir will henceforth have more of a
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you for your faithfulness!
*Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien (such as Boromir, Faramir, or Denethor) or the story of "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw or the musical "My Fair Lady" which is based on said play by Shaw. I own only Hallahiriel, the Barmaid of Dol Amroth, Corerith, Lady Brumwen, Therassa, Owynvan and Gweddyn.
This is a PARODY of both works. Boromir is the Henry Higgins, Faramir is Colonel Pickering, Hallahiriel is Eliza Doolittle and Denethor is the rough equivalent of Henry Higgins's uppity Ascot attending mother. The story is set in 3008, ten years before "Fellowship". Boromir is 30 and Faramir is 25.
MY FAIR BARMAID: A COMEDY
By Leah Pensotti
Chapter Ten: Without You
Boromir awoke the next morning in quite a good mood. The ball in Dol Amroth turned out even better than he could've hoped. Even with the hinderances of Therassa and Lady Brumwen. He dressed and made his way downstairs, where he heard the sounds of commotion and chaos in the main hall. He spied Corerith and Faramir talking in hurried and frantic tones and he called to them, "Pray tell, what is wrong on such a fine morning?"
Faramir turned a wary eye to his brother, "It's Halla."
Boromir smiled at the mere mention of her name, "And what of our princess?"
Corerith sighed sadly, "She's gone my lord."
Boromir's smile faded quickly, "What do you mean gone? Is she not in the courtyard talking a walk?"
Faramir placed a concerned hand on his brother's shoulder, "She has runaway, brother. She took a few clothes and possessions."
Boromir shook his head in denial, "She could not have runaway. Where would she go? Everything here is going well–especially after the ball. Perhaps that fool Owynvan lured her out and made off with her?" Faramir fought back the urge to laugh, "I don't think that Owynvan could lure her anywhere, seeing as though she quite despises him."
"Perhaps her father? You said that his tavern is in trouble and that he needs her back?"
Faramir bid his brother to look at him, "She left this, Boromir."
Faramir extended his hand and passed a delicate object to Boromir. As he looked down into his open hand, he recognized the necklace of his mothers in his open palm. He then looked up and met Faramir's eyes, "We must find her."
As Faramir and Boromir held counsel, Corerith receive a message from the doorward and anxiously brought it to the brothers, "Lord Boromir! Lord Faramir! This arrived from Lady Aethlien!"
Faramir raised an eyebrow, "The seamstress?"
Corerith nodded, "Aye, she writes that the girl showed up on her doorstep early this morning begging her for shelter. She wants you to know that she is fine., but Halla pleaded with her not to make you aware of her whereabouts."
Boromir clenched his fists and crumpled the letter in his hands. He silently fumed. What had gotten into the foolish girl? Everything was going well. She seemed to be happy enough. Everything he and his brother had done for her and this is how they were repaid. Somewhere inside himself, Boromir felt his heart break.
"I will go to her and bring her back. I will discover the meaning of this."
~~
Hallahiriel reflected on the events of the previous night as she rested in the spare room of the seamstress's shop. As she had made her way in the darkness with what clothing she could manage, she noticed a figure muddled by the shadow. As she drew nearer, she recognized Owynvan leaning beneath a tree.
Hallahiriel dropped her belongings and raised an eyebrow to him, "What in Middle-Earth are yo doing here?"
"Lady Hallahiriel! Are you well? Where are you going this time of night?"
She put her hands on her hips, "You didn't answer my question, Owynvan."
Owynvan hung his head in shame, "I come here almost every night. I cannot sleep."
Hallahiriel chuckled, "You are quite foolish."
Owynvan looked to her luggage, "Are you running away?"
She smirked, "Yes, I suppose so."
"Where will you go?"
She shrugged, "I'll find someplace."
Owynvan frowned and picked up her luggage, "I'll help you. You can stay with my family."
Hallahiriel shook her head, "I don't think that is a good idea, Owynvan. Especially after what happened at the ball."
He looked confused, "What happened?"
She sighed, "Have your mother and sister not arrived yet?"
"I don't expect them until the morrow."
Hallahiriel looked around in the darkness, "I fear I cannot dawdle. I wish to make a stealthy getaway."
Owynvan chuckled, "You make it sound like a prison."
She shook her head, "No. It is far from it. However, I have to leave. I think I know a place that I can go."
Owynvan nodded, "I will help you get there. Lady Hallahiriel–"
She saw his face turn solemn and flustered. Then he spoke, "I wrote another verse for you. Would you like to hear ir?"
Hallahiriel openly rolled her eyes, "I don't want to be mean, Owynvan. But I am sick of words. If you think something just say it."
Owynvan looked surprised by her tone. He took her gently by the wrist, "Alright then. I love you and I wish to marry you."
Hallahiriel chuckled, "Indeed. What a fine kettle of fish."
Owynvan looked hapless and they made their way to find Hallahiriel's refuge. As she sat alone in the spare room, thankful that the old seamstress kindly took her in. She mulled over the events in Dol Amroth and all of the confusion she felt in her head and her heart for a certain person.
Why had she consented to this experiment? Now that she did not fit in either society as a princess or barmaid. What was to become of her?
As she unpacks, she heard the door open and patrons step inside. Then, before long, a knock came upon her door and she continued to put her things away and called, "Come in."
The door creaked open, but the visitor only stood still. Hallahiriel turned slowly to see Boromir looking at her, his jaw tense and his face on the brink of anger. He spoke in a controlled manner, "What is the meaning of this?"
Hallahiriel sighed and stood firm, "It was time for me to go."
Boromir took a step forward, "Without goodbye or some sort of gratitude?"
She felt herself growing angry, "I won your bet for you. You received all the praise and glory. Is that not enough?"
Boromir became incredulous, "Is that what all this is about? Lest you forget who stayed up tutoring you all hours of the night, putting up with all of your nattering and protests? What do you want me to do Halla?"
She shrugged, "Show me some kindness. Instead of treating me like a pet, toy or project. You confuse me with your actions, Boromir. What am I to you?"
Boromir looked stunned. Hallahiriel put away the last of her clothing and then turned to look at him, "Why did you come here, Boromir?"
Boromir averted his eyes from hers and stammered, "To bring you home."
"And what would I do there? I am useless. I am a trained bird."
He stepped close to her, "You belong there. Faramir and I would find the house empty without you."
Hallahiriel smiled at the thought of the young captain, "Faramir always treated me like a lady. He is the essential part of my transformation. Never talked down to me as you did."
Boromir laughed indignantly, "I treated you as I treated a princess."
She folded her arms across her chest, "So you would treat a princess and a barmaid the same."
"Yes."
Hallahiriel turned serious, "Have you ever thought about what would happen to me? I am changed into a proper lady, yet I fit in nowhere. I could never be a barmaid again. Nor could I be a princess. Perhaps I'll become a teacher."
Boromir laughed again, "And what would you teach? You have no proper education."
Hallahiriel shrugged, "I can teach others what you taught me."
Boromir's face became flushed with madness, "You wouldn't."
Hallahiriel smiled at her small victory, "Ah! Finally a breakthrough! Yes, Boromir. I think that I shall do just fine on my own. I can stand without you."
Boromir pulled her to him, "You are heartless, girl. Don't play that game with me. I taught it to you."
Hallahiriel pulled away, "I learned from the best."
She put on a brave face, even though she felt her heart suffocating inside. She thought if she pushed him enough, that he would show his real emotions. Hallahiriel smiled at him, "I have interesting news, my lord. I have had a proposal of marriage."
Boromir looked curious, trying not to come off as jealous, "And who has asked for your hand?"
"Owynvan."
Boromir burst into a fit of laughter, "Owynvan! That fool! That will be a fine marriage. He will recite the most banal of verses to you all hours of the day. He hasn't seemed to get the point yet."
"I am going to consent."
Boromir stopped laughing and spun on his heel, "What?"
Hallahiriel nodded, "He is a good man. He honestly adores me. He's quite handsome as well."
Boromir felt ill. He took Hallahiriel by the shoulders and pulled her within inches of him, "Marry anyone but him. Marry Faramir–he's quite agreeable and a much better poet."
Hallahiriel smiled, "Marry Captain Faramir? I never entertained the idea! It is quite brilliant, isn't it? Your brother marrying the mysterious princess from the ball; the one from Elven lineage? Faramir is a good man and very faithful. I would be the envy of every lady in Gondor! What would your father think?"
Boromir's face fell in astonishment, "I cannot believe my ears! You have turned into the lady that I had hoped you to become! Unfeeling and perfectly self-consumed!"
Hallahiriel feigned disappointment, "It was a good thought, even though I could never love Faramir in such a manner and I am sure he would feel the same. We are good friends. So I will marry Owynvan. I shall send my answer this afternoon."
Boromir turned furious with her chipper talk, "Listen to what you are saying, Halla! You would marry a man you despise for the adoration? Besides, Lady Brumwen will never have it. You are a common barmaid and of no noble lineage. She would disown her own son before she would willingly allow him to marry you. If you marry him you will grow old, bear children and become perfectly humorless. You'll lose your warmth and your fairness will fade to homeliness and your husband will still be nattering on!"
Hallahiriel sighed, "Owynvan would not pay mind to his mother. He is fine and upstanding. A true gentleman."
"If you marry him it will be your unhappiness."
She sighed thickly, "Then that is my choice to make."
"Indeed."
Hallahiriel's brows knitted, "Is that all you will say?"
Boromir turned to her and eyed her angrily, "You've become cruel."
He made his way towards the door and turned to look at her a last time, "Marry Owynvan? Hah!"
As Boromir slammed the door behind him, Hallahiriel sank onto the small bed dejectedly. He had hurt her, treated her like an inferior. Why did it feel so wrong for her to do the same?
~~
Boromir made his way back to the hall and fumed the entire way. He wanted nothing more to pick that blasted girl up and carry her back home. She belonged there–with him. He wished to kiss her again and rid her mind of any foolish thoughts and notions.
She would not marry Owynvan. She loathed the fool.
Then a fool she will make of herself. If she thinks she can stand on her own, that things would be better without him–then so be it. It would be her bed to sleep in. He would let her do this. In mere months he would be proven right. She knows not what she is doing.
~~
A/N: Next up–the wedding invitation, Boromir and Faramir have a heart to heart and Boromir realizes what he must do! Oh the suspense!
Please Read and Review!
*Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien (such as Boromir, Faramir, or Denethor) or the story of "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw or the musical "My Fair Lady" which is based on said play by Shaw. I own only Hallahiriel, the Barmaid of Dol Amroth, Corerith, Lady Brumwen, Therassa, Owynvan and Gweddyn.
This is a PARODY of both works. Boromir is the Henry Higgins, Faramir is Colonel Pickering, Hallahiriel is Eliza Doolittle and Denethor is the rough equivalent of Henry Higgins's uppity Ascot attending mother. The story is set in 3008, ten years before "Fellowship". Boromir is 30 and Faramir is 25.
MY FAIR BARMAID: A COMEDY
By Leah Pensotti
Chapter Ten: Without You
Boromir awoke the next morning in quite a good mood. The ball in Dol Amroth turned out even better than he could've hoped. Even with the hinderances of Therassa and Lady Brumwen. He dressed and made his way downstairs, where he heard the sounds of commotion and chaos in the main hall. He spied Corerith and Faramir talking in hurried and frantic tones and he called to them, "Pray tell, what is wrong on such a fine morning?"
Faramir turned a wary eye to his brother, "It's Halla."
Boromir smiled at the mere mention of her name, "And what of our princess?"
Corerith sighed sadly, "She's gone my lord."
Boromir's smile faded quickly, "What do you mean gone? Is she not in the courtyard talking a walk?"
Faramir placed a concerned hand on his brother's shoulder, "She has runaway, brother. She took a few clothes and possessions."
Boromir shook his head in denial, "She could not have runaway. Where would she go? Everything here is going well–especially after the ball. Perhaps that fool Owynvan lured her out and made off with her?" Faramir fought back the urge to laugh, "I don't think that Owynvan could lure her anywhere, seeing as though she quite despises him."
"Perhaps her father? You said that his tavern is in trouble and that he needs her back?"
Faramir bid his brother to look at him, "She left this, Boromir."
Faramir extended his hand and passed a delicate object to Boromir. As he looked down into his open hand, he recognized the necklace of his mothers in his open palm. He then looked up and met Faramir's eyes, "We must find her."
As Faramir and Boromir held counsel, Corerith receive a message from the doorward and anxiously brought it to the brothers, "Lord Boromir! Lord Faramir! This arrived from Lady Aethlien!"
Faramir raised an eyebrow, "The seamstress?"
Corerith nodded, "Aye, she writes that the girl showed up on her doorstep early this morning begging her for shelter. She wants you to know that she is fine., but Halla pleaded with her not to make you aware of her whereabouts."
Boromir clenched his fists and crumpled the letter in his hands. He silently fumed. What had gotten into the foolish girl? Everything was going well. She seemed to be happy enough. Everything he and his brother had done for her and this is how they were repaid. Somewhere inside himself, Boromir felt his heart break.
"I will go to her and bring her back. I will discover the meaning of this."
~~
Hallahiriel reflected on the events of the previous night as she rested in the spare room of the seamstress's shop. As she had made her way in the darkness with what clothing she could manage, she noticed a figure muddled by the shadow. As she drew nearer, she recognized Owynvan leaning beneath a tree.
Hallahiriel dropped her belongings and raised an eyebrow to him, "What in Middle-Earth are yo doing here?"
"Lady Hallahiriel! Are you well? Where are you going this time of night?"
She put her hands on her hips, "You didn't answer my question, Owynvan."
Owynvan hung his head in shame, "I come here almost every night. I cannot sleep."
Hallahiriel chuckled, "You are quite foolish."
Owynvan looked to her luggage, "Are you running away?"
She smirked, "Yes, I suppose so."
"Where will you go?"
She shrugged, "I'll find someplace."
Owynvan frowned and picked up her luggage, "I'll help you. You can stay with my family."
Hallahiriel shook her head, "I don't think that is a good idea, Owynvan. Especially after what happened at the ball."
He looked confused, "What happened?"
She sighed, "Have your mother and sister not arrived yet?"
"I don't expect them until the morrow."
Hallahiriel looked around in the darkness, "I fear I cannot dawdle. I wish to make a stealthy getaway."
Owynvan chuckled, "You make it sound like a prison."
She shook her head, "No. It is far from it. However, I have to leave. I think I know a place that I can go."
Owynvan nodded, "I will help you get there. Lady Hallahiriel–"
She saw his face turn solemn and flustered. Then he spoke, "I wrote another verse for you. Would you like to hear ir?"
Hallahiriel openly rolled her eyes, "I don't want to be mean, Owynvan. But I am sick of words. If you think something just say it."
Owynvan looked surprised by her tone. He took her gently by the wrist, "Alright then. I love you and I wish to marry you."
Hallahiriel chuckled, "Indeed. What a fine kettle of fish."
Owynvan looked hapless and they made their way to find Hallahiriel's refuge. As she sat alone in the spare room, thankful that the old seamstress kindly took her in. She mulled over the events in Dol Amroth and all of the confusion she felt in her head and her heart for a certain person.
Why had she consented to this experiment? Now that she did not fit in either society as a princess or barmaid. What was to become of her?
As she unpacks, she heard the door open and patrons step inside. Then, before long, a knock came upon her door and she continued to put her things away and called, "Come in."
The door creaked open, but the visitor only stood still. Hallahiriel turned slowly to see Boromir looking at her, his jaw tense and his face on the brink of anger. He spoke in a controlled manner, "What is the meaning of this?"
Hallahiriel sighed and stood firm, "It was time for me to go."
Boromir took a step forward, "Without goodbye or some sort of gratitude?"
She felt herself growing angry, "I won your bet for you. You received all the praise and glory. Is that not enough?"
Boromir became incredulous, "Is that what all this is about? Lest you forget who stayed up tutoring you all hours of the night, putting up with all of your nattering and protests? What do you want me to do Halla?"
She shrugged, "Show me some kindness. Instead of treating me like a pet, toy or project. You confuse me with your actions, Boromir. What am I to you?"
Boromir looked stunned. Hallahiriel put away the last of her clothing and then turned to look at him, "Why did you come here, Boromir?"
Boromir averted his eyes from hers and stammered, "To bring you home."
"And what would I do there? I am useless. I am a trained bird."
He stepped close to her, "You belong there. Faramir and I would find the house empty without you."
Hallahiriel smiled at the thought of the young captain, "Faramir always treated me like a lady. He is the essential part of my transformation. Never talked down to me as you did."
Boromir laughed indignantly, "I treated you as I treated a princess."
She folded her arms across her chest, "So you would treat a princess and a barmaid the same."
"Yes."
Hallahiriel turned serious, "Have you ever thought about what would happen to me? I am changed into a proper lady, yet I fit in nowhere. I could never be a barmaid again. Nor could I be a princess. Perhaps I'll become a teacher."
Boromir laughed again, "And what would you teach? You have no proper education."
Hallahiriel shrugged, "I can teach others what you taught me."
Boromir's face became flushed with madness, "You wouldn't."
Hallahiriel smiled at her small victory, "Ah! Finally a breakthrough! Yes, Boromir. I think that I shall do just fine on my own. I can stand without you."
Boromir pulled her to him, "You are heartless, girl. Don't play that game with me. I taught it to you."
Hallahiriel pulled away, "I learned from the best."
She put on a brave face, even though she felt her heart suffocating inside. She thought if she pushed him enough, that he would show his real emotions. Hallahiriel smiled at him, "I have interesting news, my lord. I have had a proposal of marriage."
Boromir looked curious, trying not to come off as jealous, "And who has asked for your hand?"
"Owynvan."
Boromir burst into a fit of laughter, "Owynvan! That fool! That will be a fine marriage. He will recite the most banal of verses to you all hours of the day. He hasn't seemed to get the point yet."
"I am going to consent."
Boromir stopped laughing and spun on his heel, "What?"
Hallahiriel nodded, "He is a good man. He honestly adores me. He's quite handsome as well."
Boromir felt ill. He took Hallahiriel by the shoulders and pulled her within inches of him, "Marry anyone but him. Marry Faramir–he's quite agreeable and a much better poet."
Hallahiriel smiled, "Marry Captain Faramir? I never entertained the idea! It is quite brilliant, isn't it? Your brother marrying the mysterious princess from the ball; the one from Elven lineage? Faramir is a good man and very faithful. I would be the envy of every lady in Gondor! What would your father think?"
Boromir's face fell in astonishment, "I cannot believe my ears! You have turned into the lady that I had hoped you to become! Unfeeling and perfectly self-consumed!"
Hallahiriel feigned disappointment, "It was a good thought, even though I could never love Faramir in such a manner and I am sure he would feel the same. We are good friends. So I will marry Owynvan. I shall send my answer this afternoon."
Boromir turned furious with her chipper talk, "Listen to what you are saying, Halla! You would marry a man you despise for the adoration? Besides, Lady Brumwen will never have it. You are a common barmaid and of no noble lineage. She would disown her own son before she would willingly allow him to marry you. If you marry him you will grow old, bear children and become perfectly humorless. You'll lose your warmth and your fairness will fade to homeliness and your husband will still be nattering on!"
Hallahiriel sighed, "Owynvan would not pay mind to his mother. He is fine and upstanding. A true gentleman."
"If you marry him it will be your unhappiness."
She sighed thickly, "Then that is my choice to make."
"Indeed."
Hallahiriel's brows knitted, "Is that all you will say?"
Boromir turned to her and eyed her angrily, "You've become cruel."
He made his way towards the door and turned to look at her a last time, "Marry Owynvan? Hah!"
As Boromir slammed the door behind him, Hallahiriel sank onto the small bed dejectedly. He had hurt her, treated her like an inferior. Why did it feel so wrong for her to do the same?
~~
Boromir made his way back to the hall and fumed the entire way. He wanted nothing more to pick that blasted girl up and carry her back home. She belonged there–with him. He wished to kiss her again and rid her mind of any foolish thoughts and notions.
She would not marry Owynvan. She loathed the fool.
Then a fool she will make of herself. If she thinks she can stand on her own, that things would be better without him–then so be it. It would be her bed to sleep in. He would let her do this. In mere months he would be proven right. She knows not what she is doing.
~~
A/N: Next up–the wedding invitation, Boromir and Faramir have a heart to heart and Boromir realizes what he must do! Oh the suspense!
Please Read and Review!