The Devil and Jimmy Neutron
by Gary D. Snyder
Epilog:
On Friday morning Cindy arrived at Lindbergh Elementary a few minutes early and so was there when Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen arrived. Jimmy seemed puzzled.
"So today is Friday?" he was asking.
"Well, it is unless you've been using one of your time inventions again," replied Carl.
"But there's one infallible way to tell for sure," added Sheen. He looked into his lunch bag. "Waffles and maple syrup. It's Friday," he announced.
"And Carl got an 'A' on his recitation?"
"Yeah," said Carl happily. "Thanks again for helping me with that poem. It was about llamas and didn't have any semicolons."
"And Sheen went on a date with Libby?" Jimmy seemed more and more convinced that he was dreaming.
"Yeah, we did," said Sheen proudly. "It was cool. After the movie she talked with the lead singer from Hip Hopalong Cassidy but after an hour or so of that I could tell that she was totally not into him. I mean, they didn't even know more than the first couple verses of the Ultra Lord Theme Song. The poseurs."
"Did she tell you that she didn't like them when you guys went home?" Carl asked.
"Well, actually she was still talking when I left, because I forgot set the VCR to record the Ultra Lord show on TV and had to get home. But I could tell. When someone keeps saying, 'That is so interesting' over and over again they really don't care, because they're just being repetitious and not putting any thought into it. It's when they say things like 'Not now, Sheen' or 'Will you stop bugging me?' or 'Get lost before I flatten you' that they really care about what they're telling you."
Jimmy shook his head, perplexed. "I just wish I could remember what happened this week. I keep thinking that it was important. Maybe someday it will come back."
Someday, thought Cindy. Maybe. As she was thinking about this a furtive movement caught her eye, causing her to turn her head. To her surprise it was Libby, slowly edging along the side of the building and apparently trying to stay behind the plant cover as much as possible. What in the world – Cindy thought.
At that moment Sheen caught sight of Libby. "Hey, Libby!" he called, waving to her.
Libby gave a little scream and made a dash for the school entrance.
"Hey, Libby!" repeated Sheen, starting to chase after her. "Wait up! There are still 37 more verses of the Ultra Lord theme that I didn't get to the other night!"
At this Libby began to run even harder. "Wednesday was a lovely night, Sheen," she gasped over her shoulder. "Please don't ruin it by making me hurt you!"
"But listen!" Sheen said.
"Verse 206:
When dark forces rule the day, he'll be there to join the fray
And ensure your peace and safety are restored.
So remember, never fear, lift your head and raise a cheer
For the helper of the helpless, Utra Lord!"
Sheen's voice faded as he disappeared into the school building after Libby.
Well, there could be worse guys who could be after her, Cindy thought, shuddering at the memory of the past week. Lots worse.
Inside the school building Libby frantically looked around. The classroom doors in this hall were all closed, but the slightly ajar door on a utility closet caught her eye. Without a second thought she dove through, closing the door as quietly as possible behind her. Not wishing to attract attention she didn't turn on the light, or even dare to breathe as she heard Sheen's voice approaching, passing, and eventually fading into the distance.
"Verse 207:
Through the depths of time and space, anytime and anyplace,
Who's the hero that is worshipped and adored?
Let it never be denied, spread his name both far and wide,
Let your bosom swell with pride for Ultra Lord!"
Only when Sheen's voice had completely died away did Libby dare to relax. "Oh, man," she said to herself. "He's sweet and all, but there's only so much of Sheen that this girl can take. I think I'd sell my soul for half a pound of peace and quiet away from him."
"Sounds like you have issues," said a voice.
THE END
Author's Notes:
This story is loosely based on the story "The Devil and Daniel Webster" by Stephen Vincent Benet, as well as many of the popular cultural offerings inspired by it. The list is too long to go into, but some of the offerings include the movie "Bedazzled"; TV shows such as "Poor Devil" (a failed pilot with Sammy Davis Jr. and Jack Klugman), "The Monkees", "The Simpsons", and "Futurama"; and the song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" made famous by The Charlie Daniels Band. After many years and incarnations the theme is still fresh, because I think everyone enjoys seeing someone get the best of the Devil instead of the other way around. Hopefully this particular version was enjoyable.
Just as an aside, although most of my stories are 12 chapters with an epilog, I thought that the theme of this story justified 13 chapters with an epilog. The number 13 seemed appropriate for the story theme and it appears a couple other times through the story: Lou's age and the number of the people Lou selects for the court. There may be other instances but if so they are just coincidental (I think).