Downfall
Sirius just sat there staring into space, Remus had brought him back from the hospital over an hour ago; and he still hadn't done anything. Remus had just managed himself to get through seeing her sat there empty, they didn't need to be told what had happened to her; they could see it in her eyes they had been so lifeless with no fire left in them.
But what was worst was when he had to tell everyone, they had been sat there so happy one moment and then the next; Lily was crying into James as he held her trying to be strong for her. And then Bella who had fallen onto him crying Remus had just held her; as she told him that Cassie was safe that Nissa had went round and given her to her look after.
It had been the first time that Remus had thought about Cassie, his mind had just been blank and full of grief ever since he had been told. He thought he should tell Sirius that his daughter was alright, so he sat Bella down in-between James and Peter and went through to him.
Remus sat down on the opposite sofa, Sirius looked up at him.
"She thought I hated her, that I had walked out..." Sirius told him. "I never got the chance to tell her, and now...I was going too...she just can't be..."
"She knew you loved her, just as she loved you." Remus told him softly. "Cassie's here, Bella had her."
Sirius looked up at him again, as if trying to understand what he was saying.
"I can't see her, not yet not like this." Sirius told him and then fell back against the sofa, and just stared at the wall mumbling to him self. "I was going too...I really was..."
Remus couldn't sit there he could feel the tears surfacing again, he got up and left the room; and went upstairs to the nursery where both Harry and Cassie was sleeping peacefully no idea that anything had happened.
It had been a month since the attack, Sirius had moved back into the flat with Remus; and baby Cassie. Sirius was still going around like a zombie most of the time; but he got on with things. It had been so hard for him, to carry on but he knew he had too for Cassie and everyone else; but he felt as though he was abandoning her. Because she was still alive, she was kind of there still with them; or was that just him hoping against hope.
"Sirius." Remus said softly and calmly over dinner. "What are you going to do? Some have suggested that maybe you should have funeral to let people really grieve for her; and it could help you as well."
Sirius glared at him. "How can you say that, you were her friend; she's still alive."
"I know she was my friend." Remus told him. "But, she's gone Sirius; that isn't really her now what's left."
"No, I can't believe your saying that." Sirius told him. "You're supposed to be my best mate, you were going to be best man at the wedding; I was going to ask her you know, I had the ring and everything."
"Sirius I know it hurts, it hurts me too; but this isn't going to help." Remus told him softly.
"How do you know? I loved her, and she..." Sirius couldn't finish, his head fell into his arms on the table.
"She knew, no matter what might have happened between the two of you; she knew you loved her." Remus told him.
Sirius seemed to just about manage to get through every day, he wouldn't have though if he didn't have Remus on his back pushing him every inch of the way; and looking after Cassie as well. Bella helped a lot looking after her for him, when he did go out to work well for the order anyway.
Most people had thought that Cassandra had been killed in the attack, and they had left it like that not wanting people other then their close friends know; encase they came back. They knew that they would lose Sirius if he lost her as well.
It was coming up to Cassandra's first birthday, they all thought that this was going to bring him back down; because he had just started to come round, not his old self they knew that that part of him was lost.
They sat in the Potter's living room talking about what it do for her birthday, when Sirius walked in carrying Harry in one arm and Cassie in another.
"We should have a party; we should really celebrate that's what she would want." Sirius told them sounding very positive and up beat.
"Are you sure?" Lily asked him.
"Yeah course." Sirius said. "We haven't got much to celebrate nowadays so we should make the most of it when it comes, especially us lot."
"Ok then, we'll sort it all." Lily told him.
So Lily and Bella got started on the arrangements there were only so many people they could invite after all considering that most thought that Cassie was dead; but the people who really matter knew the truth.
"So anyone seen Peter, I don't see him as often anymore." Sirius asked.
"He's always busy with something or another, aren't we all." James said.
Lily was out shopping in Diagon Ally with Harry, she knew that she shouldn't considering the reports from the Order that Voldermot was after them; but she just didn't like hiding away, and anyway she was in public. She walked down the ally then she saw someone in black robes, she quickly turned the other way; no one nowadays wore black robes unless they were a death eater. Someone touched her shoulder as they came up beside her; she turned to see who it was.
"You, what do you want?" Lily asked him.
"You shouldn't be out here alone." Severus warned her.
"And what do you care?" Lily asked him.
Severus' face twisted and then said calmly. "If you want to be foolish then go ahead." Then he walked off.
She never told James that she had seen him, she remembered from school that he had been friends with Nissa and had also cared about her; she had thought that she had been the only person he had really any feelings for.
Things were getting worst, they just got through February; Sirius seemed a lot better in himself and was working double as hard with the order; probably because he didn't want to lose anyone else he cared about. Because the word was out Voldermot was after the Potter's, but no one really knew why; not even Dumbledore who had told them this news but had found out for themselves first hand a couple of days later from an attack.
The year went on, more people were being killed and turning to join him; though most didn't seem aware of what they were doing. It was getting hard work telling them apart, from true Death Eater and those under his control. Sirius had received a letter telling him that his brother had been killed, and was thought to be a Death Eater.
Dumbledore was working on spells to protect the Potter's put they would take a while to set up, so they used the time to organise what they would do. James and Lily chose Sirius to be their Secret keeper because they knew that he would never betray the; yes they trusted Remus and Peter, but Sirius was their chose. Sirius was to go in hiding himself, and giving Cassie to Bella to look after; after the spell went up Bella was leaving for America where she had family and they would be safe. Remus and peter were also, they didn't want it well known what was going on; but they all needed to stay undercover for their own safety.
They all meet up one last time a week before the spell was to be activated, Peter had arrived late and was acting odd well nervous; though none of them blamed him consider what was about to happen. But they all knew that it had got to be soon because Voldermot seemed to be getting closer to them.
"I just don't see how he can always be one step ahead of us." James said.
"Don't worry this is going to work." Sirius reassured him.
"I know that you won't say anything of course, it's just that he always seems to know what we're up to as though someone's telling him." James said.
"So what are you saying that one of us?" Sirius asked, he couldn't believe it neither of them could really; but they knew it made sense everything that had happened over the past year. "I would never."
"I know you wouldn't, even if that with Nissa had never happened." James said.
"Then who?" Sirius asked. "Remus would never; I would know we would know."
"Then there's only...but he wouldn't you know him...what he's like..." James said.
"Then why don't we put it to the test." Sirius suggested. "We trust them both don't we?"
"Of course, and who would really think that we would use Peter instead of you." James said. "We'll ask him in the morning."
Next morning when Peter came around, James and Sirius had a quiet word with him; explaining that it would be better if he became the secret keeper. Sirius promised that he and Remus would protect him to make sure that nothing happened to him; but no one would think that he would be it. Peter agreed, he seemed very happy to help them; of course they didn't think anything of it, they were all best friends so close they had been friends since they started Hogwarts.
Sirius said goodbye to Cassie and Bella, and then went to hospital one last time to say his finally goodbye to Nissa. As he walked out of the hospital he checked his watch, the spell had been activated; he stood there for a moment before he decided to check in on Peter one last time before he left.
He arrived at Peter's house but no one was there, he looked all round the house; but there was no sign of him. Sirius knew that Peter wasn't leaving just yet, but from the looks of things he had already left; he had a bad feeling.
Sirius got on his motor bike and flew over to Godric Hollow, he walked through the square; a feeling of dread closing in around him as he remembered the night that James and Lily had gotten engaged. There it was the dark mark hovering over their house, he ran as fast as he could; the house was in ruin.
"NO!" Sirius shouted sickening to his knees; he had lost everything.
He was shacking all over, as he got up and walked towards what was left of the house that had once been his home as well when he was at school; and he had lived like a brother with his best friend. And there he was, he fell to the ground beside him.
"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, then he heard crying; someone was still alive. He got to his feet and ran up the stairs which were almost fall down, following the sound of crying; he knew that sound it was Harry. He burst through his bedroom door, there he was stood in his cot crying as his mother as Lily lay on the ground.
Sirius walked slowly into the room, he stepped over Lily and got Harry; both he bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek.
"I'll look after him, I promise." Sirius told her, and then he left with Harry; fighting back the tears as he tried to calm Harry down. They walked past James on the way out, Harry fusing wanting to go back to him. "You can't Harry, I'm going to look after you now; it'll be alright."
They made their way out, he looked round to make sure no one was around but then he saw large over grown figure coming towards them; he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the figure.
"Who's there?" He shouted.
"Hagrid what are you doing here?" Sirius said lowing his wand, and walking out to him.
"Dumbledore sent me." Hagrid told him.
"Their dead, he killed them." Sirius told him. "But Harry ok, he's alive; he just has this scare thing on his forehead. But they're both dead."
"I'll take him then." Hagrid told him.
"What no, I'm his godfather; he'll be safe with me I won't let anything happen to him." Sirius told him stepping back pulling Harry away from him. "He's all I got left of them."
"Dumbledore said he would be safer with his aunt and uncle." Hagrid told him.
"But their muggles, I'm his godfather; I'm supposed to look after him." Sirius said looking down at Harry who was reaching up to him to huge him. "Would he be better off with them?"
"Dumbledore says he will, and should get Peter..." Hagrid started.
"What?" Sirius said snapping out of his trance. "Your right, take my bike I won't need it."
"Are you sure?" Hagrid asked him as he carefully took Harry into his arms.
"It'll get you there a lot faster, keep him safe Hagrid." Sirius said; he kissed Harry on the forehead and disapperated.
It took Sirius two days to track Peter down, but he was finally getting close; as he ran up the street after him. It had been a lot harder then he thought it was going to be, because the Ministry was looking for him.
They ran into a crowded muggle street, peter turned round his wand pointed at Sirius; who stopped dead pointing his own wand at him.
"It was you! You killed them!" Peter shouted at him.
Before Sirius could say anything he was frown off his feet and hit the wall, he could hear screaming around him and running; he pushed himself to his feet and looked to where Peter had been standing. He was gone; there was nothing but a large carter where he had been stood.
He wasn't really sure what came over him, but he just laughed. Ministry officials turned up a while afterward, they approached him with curious; they took his wand off him and lead him away. He just went with them; he looked back over his shoulder where he had last seen Peter.
He vaguely remembered being questioned about what had happened, and being told about all the attacks that; though one did sick in Bella's house had been attacked and they had found no one alive in it.
He was sent to Azkaban without a trail. He stepped onto the cold damp island and walked towards the black square building; lead by Higgs and another Auror, which he could never remember his name but mainly because he had always like Nissa, and he never liked the way he used to look at her.
Four Dementor's hovered towards them, cold dark dread hung in the air as took him inside and lead him down to his cell.
Sirius just sat there staring into space, Remus had brought him back from the hospital over an hour ago; and he still hadn't done anything. Remus had just managed himself to get through seeing her sat there empty, they didn't need to be told what had happened to her; they could see it in her eyes they had been so lifeless with no fire left in them.
But what was worst was when he had to tell everyone, they had been sat there so happy one moment and then the next; Lily was crying into James as he held her trying to be strong for her. And then Bella who had fallen onto him crying Remus had just held her; as she told him that Cassie was safe that Nissa had went round and given her to her look after.
It had been the first time that Remus had thought about Cassie, his mind had just been blank and full of grief ever since he had been told. He thought he should tell Sirius that his daughter was alright, so he sat Bella down in-between James and Peter and went through to him.
Remus sat down on the opposite sofa, Sirius looked up at him.
"She thought I hated her, that I had walked out..." Sirius told him. "I never got the chance to tell her, and now...I was going too...she just can't be..."
"She knew you loved her, just as she loved you." Remus told him softly. "Cassie's here, Bella had her."
Sirius looked up at him again, as if trying to understand what he was saying.
"I can't see her, not yet not like this." Sirius told him and then fell back against the sofa, and just stared at the wall mumbling to him self. "I was going too...I really was..."
Remus couldn't sit there he could feel the tears surfacing again, he got up and left the room; and went upstairs to the nursery where both Harry and Cassie was sleeping peacefully no idea that anything had happened.
It had been a month since the attack, Sirius had moved back into the flat with Remus; and baby Cassie. Sirius was still going around like a zombie most of the time; but he got on with things. It had been so hard for him, to carry on but he knew he had too for Cassie and everyone else; but he felt as though he was abandoning her. Because she was still alive, she was kind of there still with them; or was that just him hoping against hope.
"Sirius." Remus said softly and calmly over dinner. "What are you going to do? Some have suggested that maybe you should have funeral to let people really grieve for her; and it could help you as well."
Sirius glared at him. "How can you say that, you were her friend; she's still alive."
"I know she was my friend." Remus told him. "But, she's gone Sirius; that isn't really her now what's left."
"No, I can't believe your saying that." Sirius told him. "You're supposed to be my best mate, you were going to be best man at the wedding; I was going to ask her you know, I had the ring and everything."
"Sirius I know it hurts, it hurts me too; but this isn't going to help." Remus told him softly.
"How do you know? I loved her, and she..." Sirius couldn't finish, his head fell into his arms on the table.
"She knew, no matter what might have happened between the two of you; she knew you loved her." Remus told him.
Sirius seemed to just about manage to get through every day, he wouldn't have though if he didn't have Remus on his back pushing him every inch of the way; and looking after Cassie as well. Bella helped a lot looking after her for him, when he did go out to work well for the order anyway.
Most people had thought that Cassandra had been killed in the attack, and they had left it like that not wanting people other then their close friends know; encase they came back. They knew that they would lose Sirius if he lost her as well.
It was coming up to Cassandra's first birthday, they all thought that this was going to bring him back down; because he had just started to come round, not his old self they knew that that part of him was lost.
They sat in the Potter's living room talking about what it do for her birthday, when Sirius walked in carrying Harry in one arm and Cassie in another.
"We should have a party; we should really celebrate that's what she would want." Sirius told them sounding very positive and up beat.
"Are you sure?" Lily asked him.
"Yeah course." Sirius said. "We haven't got much to celebrate nowadays so we should make the most of it when it comes, especially us lot."
"Ok then, we'll sort it all." Lily told him.
So Lily and Bella got started on the arrangements there were only so many people they could invite after all considering that most thought that Cassie was dead; but the people who really matter knew the truth.
"So anyone seen Peter, I don't see him as often anymore." Sirius asked.
"He's always busy with something or another, aren't we all." James said.
Lily was out shopping in Diagon Ally with Harry, she knew that she shouldn't considering the reports from the Order that Voldermot was after them; but she just didn't like hiding away, and anyway she was in public. She walked down the ally then she saw someone in black robes, she quickly turned the other way; no one nowadays wore black robes unless they were a death eater. Someone touched her shoulder as they came up beside her; she turned to see who it was.
"You, what do you want?" Lily asked him.
"You shouldn't be out here alone." Severus warned her.
"And what do you care?" Lily asked him.
Severus' face twisted and then said calmly. "If you want to be foolish then go ahead." Then he walked off.
She never told James that she had seen him, she remembered from school that he had been friends with Nissa and had also cared about her; she had thought that she had been the only person he had really any feelings for.
Things were getting worst, they just got through February; Sirius seemed a lot better in himself and was working double as hard with the order; probably because he didn't want to lose anyone else he cared about. Because the word was out Voldermot was after the Potter's, but no one really knew why; not even Dumbledore who had told them this news but had found out for themselves first hand a couple of days later from an attack.
The year went on, more people were being killed and turning to join him; though most didn't seem aware of what they were doing. It was getting hard work telling them apart, from true Death Eater and those under his control. Sirius had received a letter telling him that his brother had been killed, and was thought to be a Death Eater.
Dumbledore was working on spells to protect the Potter's put they would take a while to set up, so they used the time to organise what they would do. James and Lily chose Sirius to be their Secret keeper because they knew that he would never betray the; yes they trusted Remus and Peter, but Sirius was their chose. Sirius was to go in hiding himself, and giving Cassie to Bella to look after; after the spell went up Bella was leaving for America where she had family and they would be safe. Remus and peter were also, they didn't want it well known what was going on; but they all needed to stay undercover for their own safety.
They all meet up one last time a week before the spell was to be activated, Peter had arrived late and was acting odd well nervous; though none of them blamed him consider what was about to happen. But they all knew that it had got to be soon because Voldermot seemed to be getting closer to them.
"I just don't see how he can always be one step ahead of us." James said.
"Don't worry this is going to work." Sirius reassured him.
"I know that you won't say anything of course, it's just that he always seems to know what we're up to as though someone's telling him." James said.
"So what are you saying that one of us?" Sirius asked, he couldn't believe it neither of them could really; but they knew it made sense everything that had happened over the past year. "I would never."
"I know you wouldn't, even if that with Nissa had never happened." James said.
"Then who?" Sirius asked. "Remus would never; I would know we would know."
"Then there's only...but he wouldn't you know him...what he's like..." James said.
"Then why don't we put it to the test." Sirius suggested. "We trust them both don't we?"
"Of course, and who would really think that we would use Peter instead of you." James said. "We'll ask him in the morning."
Next morning when Peter came around, James and Sirius had a quiet word with him; explaining that it would be better if he became the secret keeper. Sirius promised that he and Remus would protect him to make sure that nothing happened to him; but no one would think that he would be it. Peter agreed, he seemed very happy to help them; of course they didn't think anything of it, they were all best friends so close they had been friends since they started Hogwarts.
Sirius said goodbye to Cassie and Bella, and then went to hospital one last time to say his finally goodbye to Nissa. As he walked out of the hospital he checked his watch, the spell had been activated; he stood there for a moment before he decided to check in on Peter one last time before he left.
He arrived at Peter's house but no one was there, he looked all round the house; but there was no sign of him. Sirius knew that Peter wasn't leaving just yet, but from the looks of things he had already left; he had a bad feeling.
Sirius got on his motor bike and flew over to Godric Hollow, he walked through the square; a feeling of dread closing in around him as he remembered the night that James and Lily had gotten engaged. There it was the dark mark hovering over their house, he ran as fast as he could; the house was in ruin.
"NO!" Sirius shouted sickening to his knees; he had lost everything.
He was shacking all over, as he got up and walked towards what was left of the house that had once been his home as well when he was at school; and he had lived like a brother with his best friend. And there he was, he fell to the ground beside him.
"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, then he heard crying; someone was still alive. He got to his feet and ran up the stairs which were almost fall down, following the sound of crying; he knew that sound it was Harry. He burst through his bedroom door, there he was stood in his cot crying as his mother as Lily lay on the ground.
Sirius walked slowly into the room, he stepped over Lily and got Harry; both he bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek.
"I'll look after him, I promise." Sirius told her, and then he left with Harry; fighting back the tears as he tried to calm Harry down. They walked past James on the way out, Harry fusing wanting to go back to him. "You can't Harry, I'm going to look after you now; it'll be alright."
They made their way out, he looked round to make sure no one was around but then he saw large over grown figure coming towards them; he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the figure.
"Who's there?" He shouted.
"Hagrid what are you doing here?" Sirius said lowing his wand, and walking out to him.
"Dumbledore sent me." Hagrid told him.
"Their dead, he killed them." Sirius told him. "But Harry ok, he's alive; he just has this scare thing on his forehead. But they're both dead."
"I'll take him then." Hagrid told him.
"What no, I'm his godfather; he'll be safe with me I won't let anything happen to him." Sirius told him stepping back pulling Harry away from him. "He's all I got left of them."
"Dumbledore said he would be safer with his aunt and uncle." Hagrid told him.
"But their muggles, I'm his godfather; I'm supposed to look after him." Sirius said looking down at Harry who was reaching up to him to huge him. "Would he be better off with them?"
"Dumbledore says he will, and should get Peter..." Hagrid started.
"What?" Sirius said snapping out of his trance. "Your right, take my bike I won't need it."
"Are you sure?" Hagrid asked him as he carefully took Harry into his arms.
"It'll get you there a lot faster, keep him safe Hagrid." Sirius said; he kissed Harry on the forehead and disapperated.
It took Sirius two days to track Peter down, but he was finally getting close; as he ran up the street after him. It had been a lot harder then he thought it was going to be, because the Ministry was looking for him.
They ran into a crowded muggle street, peter turned round his wand pointed at Sirius; who stopped dead pointing his own wand at him.
"It was you! You killed them!" Peter shouted at him.
Before Sirius could say anything he was frown off his feet and hit the wall, he could hear screaming around him and running; he pushed himself to his feet and looked to where Peter had been standing. He was gone; there was nothing but a large carter where he had been stood.
He wasn't really sure what came over him, but he just laughed. Ministry officials turned up a while afterward, they approached him with curious; they took his wand off him and lead him away. He just went with them; he looked back over his shoulder where he had last seen Peter.
He vaguely remembered being questioned about what had happened, and being told about all the attacks that; though one did sick in Bella's house had been attacked and they had found no one alive in it.
He was sent to Azkaban without a trail. He stepped onto the cold damp island and walked towards the black square building; lead by Higgs and another Auror, which he could never remember his name but mainly because he had always like Nissa, and he never liked the way he used to look at her.
Four Dementor's hovered towards them, cold dark dread hung in the air as took him inside and lead him down to his cell.