A/N: You may have noticed that I am foregoing the normal description of
the transformation scene, that's entirely on purpose. I want to leave some
of it up to your imaginations ;). I promise the chapters will get longer.
Happy reading...Be safe. dragonfly-rising
The Darkness Inside of Her
By: dragonfly-rising
Serena concentrated on keeping her breathing even as she rounded the track at her school, well into her twentieth lap. Her lungs cried out for her to take a break, her legs burned from the continuous activity. Her mind, thankfully, was cleared of all thought except pushing herself beyond her own endurance.
The sun was slowly setting though she paid this little attention; her mother knew it was her night to run the track; one of three nights she did so each week. So she did not have to worry about getting home before dark. She never went home before well into the evening on these nights.
She knew at the moment no one was in the bleachers. From time to time in the beginning one of the other Senshi or Darien would come out to watch her run, always with strange expressions on their faces. She would ignore them as best she could, praying they would leave. That they would not bare witness to the extent of physical torture she would put herself through on these particular nights.
Some nights her prayers were answered and by the time she was finished the watcher or watchers would be gone. Other nights...well other nights it seemed the gods were out to destroy her precarious mental and emotional balance.
Serena stumbles slightly as an unpleasant memory burst through her hard won concentration. She recovered easily, no longer the complete klutz she had been. She scowled, unable to shake the memory.
~* Flashback *~
Her legs felt as if they would fold under her as she finally allowed herself to stop running. She knew she should have stopped at least ten laps ago but she had not, pushing herself was the whole point behind the running and she was not willing to sell herself short.
It was only the third month of her new routine and she had already fallen into a rhythm that she could lose herself in. At first Darien and the other girls had been happy to see her so interested in staying in shape, even encouraging her. That was until they had decided out of the blue to come and watch her. The last to do such a thing had been Darien, and this night he had come some time after she had begun. She was more than certain that he had planned it so that he could watch the end of her run.
When she started out it was at a light run that slowly worked its way into a faster and faster pace until by her last few laps it had turned into a full tilt run that required all of her energy and attention, mostly fueled by her need to not think at all. This last part was what concerned everyone though only Darien chose to approach her over it, it was the only time he would do so.
"Serena..." he began, his voice strained with awkwardness.
She looked at him as her breathing slowly returned to normal. Unaware that Darien had been watching she had stopped by her towel that sat on the bench at the side of the track. He had spoken as she had reached for it, startling her. She thought him very handsome with the unusual uncertainty playing across his face.
"Yes Darien?" She asked lightly.
He put his hands in his pockets, another sign that he was unsure of himself. In the back of her mind she filed this moment away. It was odd to see him in such a struggle with words, trying to find a way to say something both of them knew should not really be spoken but had to be for his own peace of mind. She was sure the girls had spoken to him about her runs, told him their concerns over her monumental efforts in that area. This did not upset her; it warmed her heart that they cared enough about her to bring Darien into this. Of course that meant she would have to be careful in what she said to him.
"All of us are wondering why you are pushing yourself so hard Serena," He finally said after an eternity.
She bent and retrieved her towel, wiping at the sweat on her face. For a heartbeat she wondered if she had the courage to tell him the truth. To explain to him in inadequate words about the war inside of her, of the difference in her transformation, all of the changes that had sprung up inside of her. When she finished with the towel she looked at him and seeing the innocence of such ugly things that plagued her in the man she loved settled her mind on the issue. She wouldn't tell him.
"I just want to be strong Darien. Is that a bad thing?" She asked in her "Innocent Serena" voice.
He smiled reassuringly at once and she knew she had been convincing. Part of her, the part that couldn't accept lying to him, cringed. The new, jaded part of her only added it to the libraries of her own changes, accepting it as a necessary evil.
~ Champion of love and justice ~ She thought bitterly.
"We just don't want you to hurt yourself Serena. Its great that you want to take care of yourself, just promise me you'll be more careful." He said softly.
She easily read the plea in his voice and smiled at him, knowing the smile barely reached her eyes and hating herself for it.
"Oh Darien, don't worry. I'll be fine." She assured him.
He returned the smile gratefully and swept her up into his arms. She leaned into the embrace, resting her forehead against his chest. Her eyes burned slightly with unshed tears.
~ I wish I could tell you Darien. ~
He held her for a long time and eventually the tears retreated allowing her to relax in her love for him.
~* End Flashback *~
Serena wiped the sweat from her face as the memory at last faded leaving her alone. It was full dark, the sun having disappeared while she had run, caught up in the memory. She was pleasantly worn out from the run and glad there had been no interruptions.
"You will never be able to escape it." Said a distinct female voice from behind her.
The Darkness Inside of Her
By: dragonfly-rising
Serena concentrated on keeping her breathing even as she rounded the track at her school, well into her twentieth lap. Her lungs cried out for her to take a break, her legs burned from the continuous activity. Her mind, thankfully, was cleared of all thought except pushing herself beyond her own endurance.
The sun was slowly setting though she paid this little attention; her mother knew it was her night to run the track; one of three nights she did so each week. So she did not have to worry about getting home before dark. She never went home before well into the evening on these nights.
She knew at the moment no one was in the bleachers. From time to time in the beginning one of the other Senshi or Darien would come out to watch her run, always with strange expressions on their faces. She would ignore them as best she could, praying they would leave. That they would not bare witness to the extent of physical torture she would put herself through on these particular nights.
Some nights her prayers were answered and by the time she was finished the watcher or watchers would be gone. Other nights...well other nights it seemed the gods were out to destroy her precarious mental and emotional balance.
Serena stumbles slightly as an unpleasant memory burst through her hard won concentration. She recovered easily, no longer the complete klutz she had been. She scowled, unable to shake the memory.
~* Flashback *~
Her legs felt as if they would fold under her as she finally allowed herself to stop running. She knew she should have stopped at least ten laps ago but she had not, pushing herself was the whole point behind the running and she was not willing to sell herself short.
It was only the third month of her new routine and she had already fallen into a rhythm that she could lose herself in. At first Darien and the other girls had been happy to see her so interested in staying in shape, even encouraging her. That was until they had decided out of the blue to come and watch her. The last to do such a thing had been Darien, and this night he had come some time after she had begun. She was more than certain that he had planned it so that he could watch the end of her run.
When she started out it was at a light run that slowly worked its way into a faster and faster pace until by her last few laps it had turned into a full tilt run that required all of her energy and attention, mostly fueled by her need to not think at all. This last part was what concerned everyone though only Darien chose to approach her over it, it was the only time he would do so.
"Serena..." he began, his voice strained with awkwardness.
She looked at him as her breathing slowly returned to normal. Unaware that Darien had been watching she had stopped by her towel that sat on the bench at the side of the track. He had spoken as she had reached for it, startling her. She thought him very handsome with the unusual uncertainty playing across his face.
"Yes Darien?" She asked lightly.
He put his hands in his pockets, another sign that he was unsure of himself. In the back of her mind she filed this moment away. It was odd to see him in such a struggle with words, trying to find a way to say something both of them knew should not really be spoken but had to be for his own peace of mind. She was sure the girls had spoken to him about her runs, told him their concerns over her monumental efforts in that area. This did not upset her; it warmed her heart that they cared enough about her to bring Darien into this. Of course that meant she would have to be careful in what she said to him.
"All of us are wondering why you are pushing yourself so hard Serena," He finally said after an eternity.
She bent and retrieved her towel, wiping at the sweat on her face. For a heartbeat she wondered if she had the courage to tell him the truth. To explain to him in inadequate words about the war inside of her, of the difference in her transformation, all of the changes that had sprung up inside of her. When she finished with the towel she looked at him and seeing the innocence of such ugly things that plagued her in the man she loved settled her mind on the issue. She wouldn't tell him.
"I just want to be strong Darien. Is that a bad thing?" She asked in her "Innocent Serena" voice.
He smiled reassuringly at once and she knew she had been convincing. Part of her, the part that couldn't accept lying to him, cringed. The new, jaded part of her only added it to the libraries of her own changes, accepting it as a necessary evil.
~ Champion of love and justice ~ She thought bitterly.
"We just don't want you to hurt yourself Serena. Its great that you want to take care of yourself, just promise me you'll be more careful." He said softly.
She easily read the plea in his voice and smiled at him, knowing the smile barely reached her eyes and hating herself for it.
"Oh Darien, don't worry. I'll be fine." She assured him.
He returned the smile gratefully and swept her up into his arms. She leaned into the embrace, resting her forehead against his chest. Her eyes burned slightly with unshed tears.
~ I wish I could tell you Darien. ~
He held her for a long time and eventually the tears retreated allowing her to relax in her love for him.
~* End Flashback *~
Serena wiped the sweat from her face as the memory at last faded leaving her alone. It was full dark, the sun having disappeared while she had run, caught up in the memory. She was pleasantly worn out from the run and glad there had been no interruptions.
"You will never be able to escape it." Said a distinct female voice from behind her.