Darkness crept over their world. One by one they fell into chaos. Without Harry Potter around to save the day, the people began to loose hope. What could a boy, now 20 do to save the Wizarding World when he had spent the last four years running from it? What hope could he possibly bring back to a failing people? How could he help them, when he so very much abandoned them? These are the questions we ask ourselves. But most of all we wonder where he went.
Did he really commit suicide like his journal suggested? Or did he simply disappear from our knowledge, senses, and our thoughts? I cannot believe the boy I once knew would do that, not to us. Not to the only family he had. How he would turn his back on us, leaving us in the shadows of doubt and disbelief doesn't seem like something some thing he would do. The constant knowledge that he's somewhere out there, not sending word really hurts. I wish he would return to us, to let us know the truth. A little sign wouldn't be too much to ask for.
I've missed him, more than I let on. I don't want to upset anyone. He and I were close once, but I don't imagine it would be the same now as it was then. I don't think I could trust him as I once did. The pain I feel knowing he is out there, is more than I want anyone to ever know. If only he were here, if only he knew how I feel knowing he's hiding. People think I'm crazy, making up these tales that he's hiding off in some remote location of the United States, or down in Brazil, but I know he's there. I know he's not dead. I won't believe it. I won't believe that my best friend would take his own life. I won't believe he would forget about the friendships he made while we were at Hogwarts. He would never do that to us. Ron and I, we would never let anything happen to him.
The worst thing about his leaving was the lack of though he gave to his friends. They had always been there for him; they would be there for him always. I would always be there for him. No matter what was going on, no matter how much trouble he had got himself into. He would always be the one I would help out. I helped him right up to our fifth year; right up until he disappeared, and soon, I am sure he'll see the truth and ask for that help again. He'll come back; I know he will. Harry will come back to us, to me.
The ramblings of a woman who has waited for four years hoping he would return. Ron pushed me away when Harry left. We weren't the famous trio anymore. We were nothing without Harry. Ron became angry. Vengeful. He wanted answers, answers no one could give him. He turned to the one thing he thought of. Alcohol, the demons of mankind! He became a drunk. He would show up to class hung over, beg for help before our finals, and then, he would manage a passing grade. I believe the Professors took pity on us. They showed us mercy when it came to homework, assignments, and exams. They knew we were suffering, Ron showing it more than I. I turned to the books, my only salvation now. My thirst for knowledge only brought me closer to my own death.
The wound he dug into me the day he left, has never fully healed. It will never fully heal until I feel him in my arms again. Until I can touch the flesh on his cheeks, see the black mass of messy locks, and those emerald eyes that bore deep into your soul. The tears I cry at night no longer fall. No longer will I cry for the man who stole away the last four years of my life. No longer will I remain the absent woman. I will take up a life that will push Harry Potter out of my mind, and life forever.
I had taken a job at Hogwarts, a way of keeping close to the resistance against Voldemort. I had to do something. So many people, so many of the friends I had once had, were falling into darkness. They were dying and there was nothing we could do about it. I had tried to keep them safe, I had tried to protect them like he had, but I wasn't him. I wasn't Harry. I couldn't do the same things he could. Sure I had the knowledge, but he had the courage to face Voldemort. The job at Hogwarts brought me a little bit of peace. I had to help in any way I could.
It was weird now, wandering the halls at night, remembering the times when Harry, Ron and I would sneak out of the Common Room. Now I was the one wandering the halls, and giving detentions and taking points from the students. I can still remember the night we snuck off to the third floor. Ron playing his chess match, Harry going off to beat Professor Quirrell, and I was left to find Professor Dumbledore after that. I was of help, every year after as well. Giving subtle hints here and there. They would have been fine without me, but they were friends, and friends stuck together no matter what. I only wish Harry understood that.
To this very day, I can't imagine what I would say to Harry if he ever returned. I can only hope that when the day comes, we can see past our differences and become friends once again. Whenever that day comes, I hope we can remember our past and look forward to our future. The truth is, I've loved him since I can remember. I've loved him for what he is. My best friend, my soul mate, the only man I ever want to be with. I know this now, now that I am truly alone. I had once been confused, between him and Ron. Who was I to pick? They were both my best friends, and now they have both left me. When Ron left it was different, we could have turned to each other for support, but he turned away from me. I knew then, that my heart would always long for Harry.
The knock had come only too soon for my likings. The summer was the only time I hated most. When there was no work for me to be doing, I began to think, think about what could have been if he remained. When I opened the door, I stood still, suddenly I felt like the life had been sucked out of me, and I knew nothing more of what was going on. The picture is still clear in my mind. He held his arms out to me, kissed my cheek and smiled. There were no words that needed to be spoken, not then. I knew he was back, for good I couldn't tell, but he was back for a while and that's all that really mattered.
I began to pray that moment, to hope that this was not another dream, that Harry Potter was not just a figment of my imagination. I couldn't bear to loose him again after he had just returned to me. I wanted to scream, to shout, to hurt him as much as he hurt me, but no words came, only tears. Tears I had hoped never to shed again. He whispered softly into my ears, telling me everything was going to be all right, that he wasn't leaving again. I fell asleep in his arms, and when I woke, he was still there. That's when I let him have it. He wasn't about to get off for leaving us.
"Hermione please," He said quietly, weariness in his eyes. I had never seen him look so tired, but there was something else there. Something I had never seen before. I had known him to hide his emotions, and hide them well, but this time, he wasn't doing a good job at hiding them. "Listen to me for a moment. Let me explain."
"Just tell me where you were?" I had asked, just wanting to know the truth; to know that he had been all right for the last four years. He just stared at me, tears glistening in his eyes. Something had happened to hurt him as much as he hurt me.
"I went to Mexico. I had been there for the last four years. There was a school there that said they would accept me so I could finish my schooling. I remained there for another two years, teaching. Hoping to give them some hope against the darkness that was taking over. There are far worse things in this world of ours than Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Far worse things." He trailed off. "I began to worry. Worry about the school, worry about Maria. I knew danger was coming, and I knew I couldn't stop it. I returned home, I could hear Elvira screaming. I knew I had come to late. I knew I had lost Maria. Elvira lay across her mother's chest screaming for her to wake up. Whatever killed her, wanted something."
"Harry? Who is Elvira?" I questioned him, hoping for some truth to come out. I needed to know. I needed to know if he had any feelings for me at all.
"Maria was my wife. We married soon after we finished school. Elvira is two now. She's with her nanny at the Leaky Cauldron. I needed to come see you before I went to see Dumbledore. I wanted to know you were alright." Harry stated, tears in his eyes.
I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry. It was all I could do for him now. I wanted to help him in any way I could. Maria must have been a wonderful woman to get Harry Potter to open up to her. I would always envy the woman who took his heart. But there were larger things to worry about. There was a child to think about, and a new darkness to defeat along side that of Voldemort. I can only hope that the two did not come together in a unison of evil. If that were the case, I fear we will never win this war. That all that is good in this world will come to an end.
"Harry, whatever comes of this new evil you have found in Mexico, I'll always be here for you." I had hoped that it would ease his troubles, but I could see clearly in his eyes that it had not. He would always be the same stubborn boy I had known back then. The one that would refuse to let me help; the one that would rather walk blindly into danger than risk any harm to his friends. I knew that he wasn't about to loose his best friend like he had his wife. The only thing he didn't count on was my not giving him much of a choice.
Friends were meant to stick together. We were meant to help each other no matter what. I plan on sticking by his side no matter what. Not because he is my best friend, but because I love him more than life it self. I will see that he and his daughter live happily ever after. I will see that I am there to watch them grow, and that Ron will return to the both of us. Harry will have difficulties getting back in Ron's good graces, but I am sure the two could come to some sort of an agreement. Four years does change a person. To what degree, we can only hope to find out in the time that has now been granted to us.