** Disclaimer: again, repeating, I only own Zana, only Zana.
********************************************************************
Never been here before
I'm intrigued, I'm unsure
I'm searching for more
I've got something thats all mine
- Pure shores- All saints
Legolas walked in the palace, looking for Haldir. Finally he found him sitting in the dinning room , alone in the table waiting for the rest. Waiters were starting to serve food.
"Haldir, how come are you here so early? It's amazing that you came here before than Gimli!" Legolas was laughing out loud and Haldir frowned looking at the elf.
"I was bored because since I arrived I've been workless, and it's not in my nature to stay lazy all time.. I thought I was invited here to help with something, not to stay all day walking in the gardens or reading in my room". He stopped talking when he saw Legolas' expression. " What's wrong? " asked. Legolas sat on his chair, when a waiter brought his dinner, and then looked at Haldir again.
"Invited.. yes, it's a strange thing.. I thought that Galadriel sent you here because of something.. well, I have to talk to my father later.. now forget it"
"Yes, she did, in reply to the invitation.. what makes you so confused?" But Legolas didn't reply, and went directly to the subject he wanted to talk about.
"Zana is having a bad time because of you. I've been with her for some minutes and she told me everything". Haldir sighed, and then left the fork over the table.
"I already told you why I acted like this with her, so please forget about it, ok?"
"No, because you're not this kind of elf, Haldir.. you're more honourable than most of elves in this world, and you're acting as if something darkened your mind" Haldir looked at him and nodded , but said nothing. " So, Haldir, I hope you won't make her uncomfortable any more.. I don't know which reasons do you have to act like this, but please, control yourself.. find out what 's inside you and free it. And the most important thing: don't be afraid of her" Legolas said this with a little evil smile, and he laughed at Haldir's reaction.
"I'm not afraid of her" he said, slowly and with strong voice. "What do you mean?"
"You know.. and now shut up, here she comes" The two elves greeted her and the two hobbits. Gimli was coming behind them, talking to Aragorn, who approached the table to visit his friends.
"In two days I'll leave and I almost couldn't talk to any of you.. can you please sit with me during this dinner?"
They all looked at Zana, and she understood that they were firing her.. she looked indifferent, and Pippin apologized, but it seemed that she avoided all kind of comments and left soon.
"What happens to this girl?" asked Gimli, who wasn't too delicate with people and still didn't say a word to Zana.
"Leave her alone, Gimli. Aragorn, it will be nice to have you here with us.. it's a shame that you have to leave, but I suppose Arwen can't wait for you any more" Pippin always asked things in a strange way, but Aragorn laughed lightly.
"Yes, I must leave, this was just a visit I couldn't refuse.. it's strange to be separated from all of you, after all the things we have lived together.. since my wedding we became a bit separated.. and now that Sam also married and Frodo is writing his memories.. well, I'm always a bit melancholic"
" And we also miss you. This is why tomorrow we'll make a big party to say goodbye to you" Legolas looked at Haldir and went on talking. "Of course, if Haldir changes his mood a bit"
Haldir smiled, looking at the rest of his friends . " Don't worry, Legolas. I'll dance like all of you and I won't stay in the corner, complaining and drinking" They all laughed, because usually Haldir didn't like parties too much.
"This would be interesting, to see Haldir dancing with an elf!" Merry was shouting too much, and all the elves turned around to watch him. Zana was smiling and she looked at Haldir, who looked puzzled and ashamed. But all from the sudden , he stared at her, and it was her turn to blush and watch her dish again. Legolas saw his reaction and gave him a curious look. While the rest were talking, he spoke to him in very low voice.
"I'm starting to understand what happens to you.." His words didn't get any answer, and he felt something strange in his heart, and he got a bit scared. Gandalf's words came to his mind and some ideas were forming the shape of a doubt.. "What if.." Haldir looked at him.
"Did you say something? Are you ok? "
"Just thinking.."
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"I hate the way they ignore me, I hate it.. nobody in this table has talked to me in the whole dinner." Gandalf was sitting next to me, and he smiled at my words.
"You complain too much and you don't make any effort to meet elves"
"You know what? I already ate enough for today, I'll go to my room and rest a bit. It's still very early but I don't care, I can't be here any more because I'm getting too nervous" I stood up and Gandalf gave me a strange look.
"Zana.." he whispered, asking me to stay. But I couldn't, I felt too bad.. and I knew it was all my fault, I was so insecure and this feeling usually made me feel bad in front of new people. And the way they fired me from the table.. I understood that they wanted to be together.. but I was disappointed, because none of them asked me to stay, they just needed another chair, there was no need to fire me..
I excused myself and walked towards the door, crossed it and felt a bit better. It was already dark outside and the pale full moon shone above the gardens. Once in my room, I looked for a pyjamas or something similar to sleep.. and the only thing I found was a kind of light dress.. yeah, so light that although I was wearing it, "everything" under me could be seen.. as if it was transparent.. it was a kind of blue satin, but I couldn't tell what kind of material was it.. "nobody will visit me, so I'll wear it anyway". I stepped in the small balcony I had in my room, and looked the stars.. I had always loved the night, the moon, the way things look under her light.. it's kind of magic.. in the Earth I loved starry nights and I was able to stay under the sky for hours. And there the beauty was increased, and it charmed me. I heard distant voices of elves returning from the dinning room and going to their own homes. I wondered how did they spend nights there, or any time of spare time.. because I couldn't believe that every day, everything finished with dinner.. I missed hanging out with friends, the parties, the coffee shops.. everything looked so boring in Middle Earth, and I was sorry for not staying with Gandalf a bit more, sure he could have told me what to do. I checked time. Almost 10.. and I didn't know when did they wake up.. so I decided to go to bed, maybe they were early elves and at 5 in the morning life started again.
The sheets were so soft and I covered myself with the blanket.. the halls were silent now, and the only thing that made me nervous were the doors, because they didn't have locks.. so anybody could come in.. and now I could hear Legolas talking about honourable elves and so on.. and sure he would say that nobody would enter in my room because this wouldn't be noble.. I smiled in the darkness and felt a bit more calmed. I closed my eyes.
"What time is it?" I opened my eyes again, I wasn't asleep any more. It was midnight, exactly. "Great, still midnight and I can't go on sleeping". I stepped out from the bed and looked for the slippers. An idea came to my head. Maybe walking would make me tired.. but I couldn't go out with that kind of sexy pyjamas.. but I was too lazy to get dressed. "Well, everybody is sleeping now"
I opened the door of my room very carefully.. the only light in the hall was the moonlight.. I went outside and walked silently. I found a door that led to a big balcony, a new one, that was built over a small lake.. "That's so wonderful!" I was speaking alone, yeah.. but the scene was too beautiful to be quiet, the blue water shining under the moon, and the white marble sparkling as if it had stars inside it. I reached the border and leaned against the small wall. All lights of the houses were off, habitants of Mirkwood sleeping.. I felt powerful , as if I was taking care of all the sleeping elves.
"It seems that you're braver than I thought when it comes to clothes, this is almost like wearing nothing"
This voice.. this voice.. I felt so ashamed, looking for something to cover myself and, to my great surprise, Haldir gave me a small blanket. How come did he know I was there? When did he have time to go back to his room and get the blanket? Since when was he standing there??? I covered myself and turned around. He was standing there, looking at me.
" Why are you spying me? How did you know I would need a blanket? Did you follow me?"
Haldir walked some steps and he stood by my side.
"First, I didn't spy you. Second, your room is in front of mine, I was awake and I heard you going out.. I told you that I didn't trust you too much and I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't rush in my room during night" He looked at me and smiled a bit.
I was amazed, he was so arrogant, so.. I couldn't find the words to defend myself "Of course I didn't plan to come in your room, are you crazy? I couldn't sleep, I was bored, and I needed to walk"
"With those clothes?" He asked with sarcasm . I couldn't bear that any more, and I turned around to leave, throwing the blanket over him.
"Wait" His voice made me stop. "Just a minute. And cover yourself again, please".
I didn't know why, but I had to obey. I turned again and we looked at each other for some seconds.
"The reason for being here is that I want to apologise, for all what I said since I met you. I didn't treat you well because I wanted to make sure that you didn't bring bad things to Mirkwood. They're my friends and Galadriel trusts me to defend them "
"You are apologising? I can't believe it.. " I was really surprised, I didn't expect that at all. He walked towards me and took my hand.
"Lets start from the beginning.. I'm Haldir of Lorien, and It's a pleasure to meet you, Zana" He kissed my hand and looked in my eyes. I was completely and totally speechless.
"And if you won't say anything else, then I'll leave and wish you good night" I followed him with the gaze as he was leaving. And I felt a bit strange, I didn't know why, but what had just happened seemed impossible to me.. sure Legolas forced him to do it.. yeah, of course, now I understood everything. So I ran after him and when I reached him ,he was already entering his room.
"Haldir!" He stopped and looked back, expectantly .
"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow, waiting. And I tried to find the proper words.
"I know that you apologised because Legolas asked you to do it. But you shouldn't act against your wills because this makes me feel even worse." I was again surprised when I saw his expression, because he looked upset.
"If this is what you think about me, then it's worthless to explain anything" He closed the door strongly, and I stood outside, in the halls..
"Will I ever understand those elves?" I sighed and went directly to bed.
********************************************************************
Never been here before
I'm intrigued, I'm unsure
I'm searching for more
I've got something thats all mine
- Pure shores- All saints
Legolas walked in the palace, looking for Haldir. Finally he found him sitting in the dinning room , alone in the table waiting for the rest. Waiters were starting to serve food.
"Haldir, how come are you here so early? It's amazing that you came here before than Gimli!" Legolas was laughing out loud and Haldir frowned looking at the elf.
"I was bored because since I arrived I've been workless, and it's not in my nature to stay lazy all time.. I thought I was invited here to help with something, not to stay all day walking in the gardens or reading in my room". He stopped talking when he saw Legolas' expression. " What's wrong? " asked. Legolas sat on his chair, when a waiter brought his dinner, and then looked at Haldir again.
"Invited.. yes, it's a strange thing.. I thought that Galadriel sent you here because of something.. well, I have to talk to my father later.. now forget it"
"Yes, she did, in reply to the invitation.. what makes you so confused?" But Legolas didn't reply, and went directly to the subject he wanted to talk about.
"Zana is having a bad time because of you. I've been with her for some minutes and she told me everything". Haldir sighed, and then left the fork over the table.
"I already told you why I acted like this with her, so please forget about it, ok?"
"No, because you're not this kind of elf, Haldir.. you're more honourable than most of elves in this world, and you're acting as if something darkened your mind" Haldir looked at him and nodded , but said nothing. " So, Haldir, I hope you won't make her uncomfortable any more.. I don't know which reasons do you have to act like this, but please, control yourself.. find out what 's inside you and free it. And the most important thing: don't be afraid of her" Legolas said this with a little evil smile, and he laughed at Haldir's reaction.
"I'm not afraid of her" he said, slowly and with strong voice. "What do you mean?"
"You know.. and now shut up, here she comes" The two elves greeted her and the two hobbits. Gimli was coming behind them, talking to Aragorn, who approached the table to visit his friends.
"In two days I'll leave and I almost couldn't talk to any of you.. can you please sit with me during this dinner?"
They all looked at Zana, and she understood that they were firing her.. she looked indifferent, and Pippin apologized, but it seemed that she avoided all kind of comments and left soon.
"What happens to this girl?" asked Gimli, who wasn't too delicate with people and still didn't say a word to Zana.
"Leave her alone, Gimli. Aragorn, it will be nice to have you here with us.. it's a shame that you have to leave, but I suppose Arwen can't wait for you any more" Pippin always asked things in a strange way, but Aragorn laughed lightly.
"Yes, I must leave, this was just a visit I couldn't refuse.. it's strange to be separated from all of you, after all the things we have lived together.. since my wedding we became a bit separated.. and now that Sam also married and Frodo is writing his memories.. well, I'm always a bit melancholic"
" And we also miss you. This is why tomorrow we'll make a big party to say goodbye to you" Legolas looked at Haldir and went on talking. "Of course, if Haldir changes his mood a bit"
Haldir smiled, looking at the rest of his friends . " Don't worry, Legolas. I'll dance like all of you and I won't stay in the corner, complaining and drinking" They all laughed, because usually Haldir didn't like parties too much.
"This would be interesting, to see Haldir dancing with an elf!" Merry was shouting too much, and all the elves turned around to watch him. Zana was smiling and she looked at Haldir, who looked puzzled and ashamed. But all from the sudden , he stared at her, and it was her turn to blush and watch her dish again. Legolas saw his reaction and gave him a curious look. While the rest were talking, he spoke to him in very low voice.
"I'm starting to understand what happens to you.." His words didn't get any answer, and he felt something strange in his heart, and he got a bit scared. Gandalf's words came to his mind and some ideas were forming the shape of a doubt.. "What if.." Haldir looked at him.
"Did you say something? Are you ok? "
"Just thinking.."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
"I hate the way they ignore me, I hate it.. nobody in this table has talked to me in the whole dinner." Gandalf was sitting next to me, and he smiled at my words.
"You complain too much and you don't make any effort to meet elves"
"You know what? I already ate enough for today, I'll go to my room and rest a bit. It's still very early but I don't care, I can't be here any more because I'm getting too nervous" I stood up and Gandalf gave me a strange look.
"Zana.." he whispered, asking me to stay. But I couldn't, I felt too bad.. and I knew it was all my fault, I was so insecure and this feeling usually made me feel bad in front of new people. And the way they fired me from the table.. I understood that they wanted to be together.. but I was disappointed, because none of them asked me to stay, they just needed another chair, there was no need to fire me..
I excused myself and walked towards the door, crossed it and felt a bit better. It was already dark outside and the pale full moon shone above the gardens. Once in my room, I looked for a pyjamas or something similar to sleep.. and the only thing I found was a kind of light dress.. yeah, so light that although I was wearing it, "everything" under me could be seen.. as if it was transparent.. it was a kind of blue satin, but I couldn't tell what kind of material was it.. "nobody will visit me, so I'll wear it anyway". I stepped in the small balcony I had in my room, and looked the stars.. I had always loved the night, the moon, the way things look under her light.. it's kind of magic.. in the Earth I loved starry nights and I was able to stay under the sky for hours. And there the beauty was increased, and it charmed me. I heard distant voices of elves returning from the dinning room and going to their own homes. I wondered how did they spend nights there, or any time of spare time.. because I couldn't believe that every day, everything finished with dinner.. I missed hanging out with friends, the parties, the coffee shops.. everything looked so boring in Middle Earth, and I was sorry for not staying with Gandalf a bit more, sure he could have told me what to do. I checked time. Almost 10.. and I didn't know when did they wake up.. so I decided to go to bed, maybe they were early elves and at 5 in the morning life started again.
The sheets were so soft and I covered myself with the blanket.. the halls were silent now, and the only thing that made me nervous were the doors, because they didn't have locks.. so anybody could come in.. and now I could hear Legolas talking about honourable elves and so on.. and sure he would say that nobody would enter in my room because this wouldn't be noble.. I smiled in the darkness and felt a bit more calmed. I closed my eyes.
"What time is it?" I opened my eyes again, I wasn't asleep any more. It was midnight, exactly. "Great, still midnight and I can't go on sleeping". I stepped out from the bed and looked for the slippers. An idea came to my head. Maybe walking would make me tired.. but I couldn't go out with that kind of sexy pyjamas.. but I was too lazy to get dressed. "Well, everybody is sleeping now"
I opened the door of my room very carefully.. the only light in the hall was the moonlight.. I went outside and walked silently. I found a door that led to a big balcony, a new one, that was built over a small lake.. "That's so wonderful!" I was speaking alone, yeah.. but the scene was too beautiful to be quiet, the blue water shining under the moon, and the white marble sparkling as if it had stars inside it. I reached the border and leaned against the small wall. All lights of the houses were off, habitants of Mirkwood sleeping.. I felt powerful , as if I was taking care of all the sleeping elves.
"It seems that you're braver than I thought when it comes to clothes, this is almost like wearing nothing"
This voice.. this voice.. I felt so ashamed, looking for something to cover myself and, to my great surprise, Haldir gave me a small blanket. How come did he know I was there? When did he have time to go back to his room and get the blanket? Since when was he standing there??? I covered myself and turned around. He was standing there, looking at me.
" Why are you spying me? How did you know I would need a blanket? Did you follow me?"
Haldir walked some steps and he stood by my side.
"First, I didn't spy you. Second, your room is in front of mine, I was awake and I heard you going out.. I told you that I didn't trust you too much and I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't rush in my room during night" He looked at me and smiled a bit.
I was amazed, he was so arrogant, so.. I couldn't find the words to defend myself "Of course I didn't plan to come in your room, are you crazy? I couldn't sleep, I was bored, and I needed to walk"
"With those clothes?" He asked with sarcasm . I couldn't bear that any more, and I turned around to leave, throwing the blanket over him.
"Wait" His voice made me stop. "Just a minute. And cover yourself again, please".
I didn't know why, but I had to obey. I turned again and we looked at each other for some seconds.
"The reason for being here is that I want to apologise, for all what I said since I met you. I didn't treat you well because I wanted to make sure that you didn't bring bad things to Mirkwood. They're my friends and Galadriel trusts me to defend them "
"You are apologising? I can't believe it.. " I was really surprised, I didn't expect that at all. He walked towards me and took my hand.
"Lets start from the beginning.. I'm Haldir of Lorien, and It's a pleasure to meet you, Zana" He kissed my hand and looked in my eyes. I was completely and totally speechless.
"And if you won't say anything else, then I'll leave and wish you good night" I followed him with the gaze as he was leaving. And I felt a bit strange, I didn't know why, but what had just happened seemed impossible to me.. sure Legolas forced him to do it.. yeah, of course, now I understood everything. So I ran after him and when I reached him ,he was already entering his room.
"Haldir!" He stopped and looked back, expectantly .
"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow, waiting. And I tried to find the proper words.
"I know that you apologised because Legolas asked you to do it. But you shouldn't act against your wills because this makes me feel even worse." I was again surprised when I saw his expression, because he looked upset.
"If this is what you think about me, then it's worthless to explain anything" He closed the door strongly, and I stood outside, in the halls..
"Will I ever understand those elves?" I sighed and went directly to bed.