** Disclaimer: I only own Zana and Merwen.
This chapter is a mess, I don't like it. But tomorrow I leave to university
and I won't be here again until weekend, so I wanted to leave this story a
bit more advanced. Next chapters will be better and I'll update on Thursday
or Friday. Thanks for all the reviews! It's nice to see that some people
are reading this (
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Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken
I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
- The power of goodbye- Madonna
Haldir woke up very early that morning. In fact, he spent half of the night thinking, because many things were making him confused. One of the things was what had happened at midnight.. he was so angry with himself for following Zana. She was right, he was spying her, and the worst thing was that he didn't know why.. when he saw her standing there, in the moonlight, something changed inside him, and for the first time in his whole life he didn't know how to act. He had always found the proper actions, words for everything. It was also the first time in his life he didn't control himself, his bad behaviour, his rudeness.. the elves who knew him wouldn't believe their eyes if they had seen how he had treated the girl since she arrived.. and this made him so confused, wishing to talk to Galadriel or Gandalf in order to get more information about situation.
The second thing that worried him was the journey to Mirkwood.. why all from the sudden he, Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli and the two hobbits were sent there?. Who knew that Zana was going to arrive? There were too many things to ask.
After he got dressed he left the room and stopped for a while in front of Zana's door, doubting.. he was going to knock on it but his hand fell in the air. "What am I doing?" He went on walking and heard Gandalf singing, coming from the opposite side of the hall.
"Haldir, my friend!" The old magician looked so happy that morning, and Haldir smiled in reply. Gandalf read his mind ."I knew you were looking for questions, so lets talk a bit"
"You always surprise me, Gandalf" They both started walking. "But I'll only ask you one question, because this is not the best moment to talk, they're' waiting for us in the dinning room".
"I know what troubles you, and I'll be brief , saying that we all were sent here because of different reasons.. Aragorn had promised a visit to Legolas. Merry and Pippin were travelling to Gondor to visit Aragorn, and they heard that he was here so they joined him, and they will join him again in the way to Gondor" Haldir nodded, but he was still confused. Gandalf saw his expression. "And now, my friend, I'll tell you our reasons to be here.. mine is simple. I knew that this girl would come, I knew the meaning of her visit and also the persons with more options to be involved with her. And Galadriel dreamt about this, she called me and one night I went to Lorien. We talked and she said that you, Haldir, had to come here because she had an intuition".
Haldir blinked, staring at the magician. "But then, was I the only one who was destined to come here and meet her? Why all this mystery then?" Gandalf stopped one moment and sighed.
"No, things are not so easy.. remember that this girl appeared in Mirkwood, not in Lorien. So Legolas is involved too. And I'm involved too, and the king, and all habitants of Mirkwood"
"This is a mystery indeed, and I'm starting to get tired of waiting. I can't be here all time, I must return to Lorien, and I'll do it as soon as possible".
"You can't leave, Haldir.. you must wait!"
"Wait for what? I'm not myself any more, and I can't change like this.. I don't know what happens here but this is affecting me. Tonight I'll pack my things after the party" Gandalf looked at him with sadness.. that was going to be more difficult than he thought at first.
They walked to the dinning room, crossing the halls and ending in the big place where the smell of breakfast filled the air. Gimli was already there, and Haldir smiled. That dwarf was really obsessed with food, like the two hobbits.. but he couldn't find them, neither Aragorn.Gandalf went to the king's table and joined him, talking in low voice.
"Good morning, Gimli" They sat down and they both started to eat. "Where are the rest of people?"
"No idea. Maybe sleeping? Not all elves and hobbits and humans get up as early as you" Haldir laughed at his words.
"Look who's talking, what are you doing here so early?"
The two hobbits and Aragorn came, sitting and choosing some food from the trays.
"Hey, where are Zana and Legolas? Aragorn! You're siting in Zana's chair!" Merry pushed the human and he smiled.
"Ok, don't worry, I'm leaving now. By the way, I haven't seen Legolas since last night" He left, biting an apple. Merry and Pippin started joking with Gimli and soon they came into a conversation. Haldir was quiet, thinking about what Gandalf had told him.. and thinking where the hell was Legolas and why Zana was so late.
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The hot water made me feel better.. I was taking a bath when someone knocked on my door. Great, I couldn't open the door in that situation. I looked for a towel and stepped outside.
"Who are you? I'm taking a bath!" I hated those interruptions.
"I'm sorry.. I was just wondering if you would have breakfast this morning" Legolas voice, no doubt. I became so nervous.
"Yes, I'll go now, give me some minutes"
"Ok, I'll wait for you here" What?? Was he going to wait outside? Why?
I have to say that I'm so slowly dressing up.. I need a lot of time to take a bath, wash my hair, choose the clothes.. and in Mirkwood things didn't change too much, so I was really late again. I chose a comfortable dress, and I let my hair wet over my shoulders (oh, my hairdryer!!! Where are you?). I opened the door and found Legolas standing there. he said good morning with a smile.
"I wanted to talk to you before breakfast.. and ask you if you feel well.. " We walked together, I was shaking again.
"Of course.. why do you ask me this?" Did he maybe know that I was talking to Haldir at midnight?
"Well, yesterday you left the dinning room so fast.."
"No, don't worry"
We walked in silence, an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us watching at the other, just walking.. I was wishing to arrive in the dinning room, I couldn't bear that situation any more. Why was he so quiet? Yeah, of course, he was bored with me.. I was a quiet and serious person since always, so why would he be pleased with my company? I hated that, I hated that.. Luckily, we arrived in the dinning room and I sighed, as if I had left the doctor or the dentist.
"Happy?" he asked me with a smile. I blushed, of course.
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After a horrible breakfast avoiding Haldir's gaze and replying all kind of questions from the hobbits, I decided to walk alone during the day. That night there would be a party and I had the feeling that it would be a mess.. I could imagine myself sitting all night in a corner , waiting for the event to finish and go happily to my bed. Obviously, all elf-girls would dance with Legolas, Aragorn was married (oh.. what a shame) , and the two hobbits and Gimli were too short for me.. and there were more elves in Mirkwood, of course, but with the elf- girls they had there, well, any hope of dancing would be dreaming too much.
When I went to my room I found Merwen inside. She greeted me with a smile and gave me a dress.. something amazing. A kind of dark red , with a necklace, a bracelet and all the complements that a dress for a party must have. But I had never seen something so nice before, I was a modest person in the Earth who didn't have too many money, so the sight of those things made me feel strange , I wasn't sure about that party. After all, I didn't dance well, I was a mess, and I didn't know how to comb my hair, I always had it long but I never took care of it, well, of course I combed it but nothing special..
"I can't prepare myself with this, Merwen.. I don't know how to dress up.."
"This is why I'm here, I'll help you. I'll come at 8 in the night "She left the room with a smile. Great.
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I walked outside for a while, it was almost lunch time, so I wanted to go to my room again and wash a bit. I had been sitting in the grass, under a tree, so I needed to change my clothes. When I was walking in my hall I saw that Haldir had his door opened. I looked from the distance . He was packing his clothes. Was he leaving? But of course, he heard my steps and came outside.
"Hello, Zana. Do you want something? Why are you looking inside my room?" I blushed and thought of an excuse, but words didn't come to my head.
"Well, I was coming to my room.. and you had the door opened.." I walked towards him, slowly, and for once, I decided to be a bit braver. "Why are you packing your things?"
He looked at me and then he took a deep breath before replying. "I'm leaving tonight" I was speechless and surprised.
"Why?" I stared at him in disbelief.
"Personal business, nothing of your interest. "He stepped inside and went on packing. I followed him inside his room and he looked a me with a strange expression. I didn't ask for permission to pass, but I did it anyway.
"Will you leave with Aragorn?" I was trying to make a conversation out of that, but he didn't help too much. "No" was his short reply. I attacked again. "So you plan to leave without any reason to give"
He stood up and looked directly to me.
"My reasons are only mine."
"You're leaving because of me" ..Hey! Did I say this? I couldn't believe I had said this!!!!! I blushed deeply and I felt the heat in my face. He looked amazed too, staring at me all time.
"I mean.. I know I've been rude, and I know that we weren't friends exactly, but.. don't leave because of me.. here you have all your friends and it would be stupid if you left! I know you can't bear me, maybe because I'm a human, or maybe because my personality is not like the one that elves like.. " I was talking without thinking, sure. He was so quiet looking at me.. why was he staring at me like that? As he didn't talk, I went on with my speech. "And all I want to say is that I won't disturb you, I promise I won't talk to you, and you won't even notice that I'm here.. but please, don't leave".
Yeah, I was under a spell, because that wasn't me. When I finished talking I wanted to die, to disappear. What did I say that made him so astonished? We both stayed still, quiet, looking at each other for some seconds.
"Zana.. I'm not leaving because I hate you." His voice sounded softer than ever before, a kind of smile on his lips. "I'm leaving because.. "
He didn't talk.. looking for the right words. "See?" I said. "You don't have any good reason.. so please, stay here, ok? "
I had to leave, at that point, I had to leave. I was too ashamed, too shy, too.. I don't know, but I came out and turned once more. "I hope to see you tonight in the party. If not, I hope you'll say good- bye .. "I couldn't recognise myself.. but something forced me to say that and now it was too late.. His gaze still on me. I left. And in the end of the hall was Gandalf.. yes, it was Gandalf.. he was smiling, and greeted me.. I was too confused to say anything and I closed the door of my room.
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Haldir sat on his bed, after closing the door.. he was so surprised and confused. What had happened? Was that real or was he dreaming? He looked at his packed things and then to the door. His blue eyes fixed in some point, and the words of Zana still in his head. That was the reason why he was leaving. Because of the effect that caused on him.. "Look at yourself, you look like a stupid mortal" He covered his face with his hands, took a deep breath and put the last thing in the bag.
Gandalf walked in the gardens, smiling.. he knew he shouldn't have used magic with Zana, but he just made her tell the words that she had kept inside her mind.. he didn't force her to say something she didn't want.. "she will speak listening to her heart".. those were the words of the spell he put on her .. nothing else.. and Zana spoke. Her heart was full of secrets.. and too confused. He made a movement with his hands and closed his eyes "the witchcraft is over, Zana will be herself again".
Zana, inside her room, felt dizzy. "Oh, my god, what did I do???!!!" She threw herself in the bed and covered her head with the pillow.
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Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken
I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
- The power of goodbye- Madonna
Haldir woke up very early that morning. In fact, he spent half of the night thinking, because many things were making him confused. One of the things was what had happened at midnight.. he was so angry with himself for following Zana. She was right, he was spying her, and the worst thing was that he didn't know why.. when he saw her standing there, in the moonlight, something changed inside him, and for the first time in his whole life he didn't know how to act. He had always found the proper actions, words for everything. It was also the first time in his life he didn't control himself, his bad behaviour, his rudeness.. the elves who knew him wouldn't believe their eyes if they had seen how he had treated the girl since she arrived.. and this made him so confused, wishing to talk to Galadriel or Gandalf in order to get more information about situation.
The second thing that worried him was the journey to Mirkwood.. why all from the sudden he, Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli and the two hobbits were sent there?. Who knew that Zana was going to arrive? There were too many things to ask.
After he got dressed he left the room and stopped for a while in front of Zana's door, doubting.. he was going to knock on it but his hand fell in the air. "What am I doing?" He went on walking and heard Gandalf singing, coming from the opposite side of the hall.
"Haldir, my friend!" The old magician looked so happy that morning, and Haldir smiled in reply. Gandalf read his mind ."I knew you were looking for questions, so lets talk a bit"
"You always surprise me, Gandalf" They both started walking. "But I'll only ask you one question, because this is not the best moment to talk, they're' waiting for us in the dinning room".
"I know what troubles you, and I'll be brief , saying that we all were sent here because of different reasons.. Aragorn had promised a visit to Legolas. Merry and Pippin were travelling to Gondor to visit Aragorn, and they heard that he was here so they joined him, and they will join him again in the way to Gondor" Haldir nodded, but he was still confused. Gandalf saw his expression. "And now, my friend, I'll tell you our reasons to be here.. mine is simple. I knew that this girl would come, I knew the meaning of her visit and also the persons with more options to be involved with her. And Galadriel dreamt about this, she called me and one night I went to Lorien. We talked and she said that you, Haldir, had to come here because she had an intuition".
Haldir blinked, staring at the magician. "But then, was I the only one who was destined to come here and meet her? Why all this mystery then?" Gandalf stopped one moment and sighed.
"No, things are not so easy.. remember that this girl appeared in Mirkwood, not in Lorien. So Legolas is involved too. And I'm involved too, and the king, and all habitants of Mirkwood"
"This is a mystery indeed, and I'm starting to get tired of waiting. I can't be here all time, I must return to Lorien, and I'll do it as soon as possible".
"You can't leave, Haldir.. you must wait!"
"Wait for what? I'm not myself any more, and I can't change like this.. I don't know what happens here but this is affecting me. Tonight I'll pack my things after the party" Gandalf looked at him with sadness.. that was going to be more difficult than he thought at first.
They walked to the dinning room, crossing the halls and ending in the big place where the smell of breakfast filled the air. Gimli was already there, and Haldir smiled. That dwarf was really obsessed with food, like the two hobbits.. but he couldn't find them, neither Aragorn.Gandalf went to the king's table and joined him, talking in low voice.
"Good morning, Gimli" They sat down and they both started to eat. "Where are the rest of people?"
"No idea. Maybe sleeping? Not all elves and hobbits and humans get up as early as you" Haldir laughed at his words.
"Look who's talking, what are you doing here so early?"
The two hobbits and Aragorn came, sitting and choosing some food from the trays.
"Hey, where are Zana and Legolas? Aragorn! You're siting in Zana's chair!" Merry pushed the human and he smiled.
"Ok, don't worry, I'm leaving now. By the way, I haven't seen Legolas since last night" He left, biting an apple. Merry and Pippin started joking with Gimli and soon they came into a conversation. Haldir was quiet, thinking about what Gandalf had told him.. and thinking where the hell was Legolas and why Zana was so late.
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The hot water made me feel better.. I was taking a bath when someone knocked on my door. Great, I couldn't open the door in that situation. I looked for a towel and stepped outside.
"Who are you? I'm taking a bath!" I hated those interruptions.
"I'm sorry.. I was just wondering if you would have breakfast this morning" Legolas voice, no doubt. I became so nervous.
"Yes, I'll go now, give me some minutes"
"Ok, I'll wait for you here" What?? Was he going to wait outside? Why?
I have to say that I'm so slowly dressing up.. I need a lot of time to take a bath, wash my hair, choose the clothes.. and in Mirkwood things didn't change too much, so I was really late again. I chose a comfortable dress, and I let my hair wet over my shoulders (oh, my hairdryer!!! Where are you?). I opened the door and found Legolas standing there. he said good morning with a smile.
"I wanted to talk to you before breakfast.. and ask you if you feel well.. " We walked together, I was shaking again.
"Of course.. why do you ask me this?" Did he maybe know that I was talking to Haldir at midnight?
"Well, yesterday you left the dinning room so fast.."
"No, don't worry"
We walked in silence, an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us watching at the other, just walking.. I was wishing to arrive in the dinning room, I couldn't bear that situation any more. Why was he so quiet? Yeah, of course, he was bored with me.. I was a quiet and serious person since always, so why would he be pleased with my company? I hated that, I hated that.. Luckily, we arrived in the dinning room and I sighed, as if I had left the doctor or the dentist.
"Happy?" he asked me with a smile. I blushed, of course.
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After a horrible breakfast avoiding Haldir's gaze and replying all kind of questions from the hobbits, I decided to walk alone during the day. That night there would be a party and I had the feeling that it would be a mess.. I could imagine myself sitting all night in a corner , waiting for the event to finish and go happily to my bed. Obviously, all elf-girls would dance with Legolas, Aragorn was married (oh.. what a shame) , and the two hobbits and Gimli were too short for me.. and there were more elves in Mirkwood, of course, but with the elf- girls they had there, well, any hope of dancing would be dreaming too much.
When I went to my room I found Merwen inside. She greeted me with a smile and gave me a dress.. something amazing. A kind of dark red , with a necklace, a bracelet and all the complements that a dress for a party must have. But I had never seen something so nice before, I was a modest person in the Earth who didn't have too many money, so the sight of those things made me feel strange , I wasn't sure about that party. After all, I didn't dance well, I was a mess, and I didn't know how to comb my hair, I always had it long but I never took care of it, well, of course I combed it but nothing special..
"I can't prepare myself with this, Merwen.. I don't know how to dress up.."
"This is why I'm here, I'll help you. I'll come at 8 in the night "She left the room with a smile. Great.
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I walked outside for a while, it was almost lunch time, so I wanted to go to my room again and wash a bit. I had been sitting in the grass, under a tree, so I needed to change my clothes. When I was walking in my hall I saw that Haldir had his door opened. I looked from the distance . He was packing his clothes. Was he leaving? But of course, he heard my steps and came outside.
"Hello, Zana. Do you want something? Why are you looking inside my room?" I blushed and thought of an excuse, but words didn't come to my head.
"Well, I was coming to my room.. and you had the door opened.." I walked towards him, slowly, and for once, I decided to be a bit braver. "Why are you packing your things?"
He looked at me and then he took a deep breath before replying. "I'm leaving tonight" I was speechless and surprised.
"Why?" I stared at him in disbelief.
"Personal business, nothing of your interest. "He stepped inside and went on packing. I followed him inside his room and he looked a me with a strange expression. I didn't ask for permission to pass, but I did it anyway.
"Will you leave with Aragorn?" I was trying to make a conversation out of that, but he didn't help too much. "No" was his short reply. I attacked again. "So you plan to leave without any reason to give"
He stood up and looked directly to me.
"My reasons are only mine."
"You're leaving because of me" ..Hey! Did I say this? I couldn't believe I had said this!!!!! I blushed deeply and I felt the heat in my face. He looked amazed too, staring at me all time.
"I mean.. I know I've been rude, and I know that we weren't friends exactly, but.. don't leave because of me.. here you have all your friends and it would be stupid if you left! I know you can't bear me, maybe because I'm a human, or maybe because my personality is not like the one that elves like.. " I was talking without thinking, sure. He was so quiet looking at me.. why was he staring at me like that? As he didn't talk, I went on with my speech. "And all I want to say is that I won't disturb you, I promise I won't talk to you, and you won't even notice that I'm here.. but please, don't leave".
Yeah, I was under a spell, because that wasn't me. When I finished talking I wanted to die, to disappear. What did I say that made him so astonished? We both stayed still, quiet, looking at each other for some seconds.
"Zana.. I'm not leaving because I hate you." His voice sounded softer than ever before, a kind of smile on his lips. "I'm leaving because.. "
He didn't talk.. looking for the right words. "See?" I said. "You don't have any good reason.. so please, stay here, ok? "
I had to leave, at that point, I had to leave. I was too ashamed, too shy, too.. I don't know, but I came out and turned once more. "I hope to see you tonight in the party. If not, I hope you'll say good- bye .. "I couldn't recognise myself.. but something forced me to say that and now it was too late.. His gaze still on me. I left. And in the end of the hall was Gandalf.. yes, it was Gandalf.. he was smiling, and greeted me.. I was too confused to say anything and I closed the door of my room.
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Haldir sat on his bed, after closing the door.. he was so surprised and confused. What had happened? Was that real or was he dreaming? He looked at his packed things and then to the door. His blue eyes fixed in some point, and the words of Zana still in his head. That was the reason why he was leaving. Because of the effect that caused on him.. "Look at yourself, you look like a stupid mortal" He covered his face with his hands, took a deep breath and put the last thing in the bag.
Gandalf walked in the gardens, smiling.. he knew he shouldn't have used magic with Zana, but he just made her tell the words that she had kept inside her mind.. he didn't force her to say something she didn't want.. "she will speak listening to her heart".. those were the words of the spell he put on her .. nothing else.. and Zana spoke. Her heart was full of secrets.. and too confused. He made a movement with his hands and closed his eyes "the witchcraft is over, Zana will be herself again".
Zana, inside her room, felt dizzy. "Oh, my god, what did I do???!!!" She threw herself in the bed and covered her head with the pillow.