Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I making any money from, the X-Men movie-
verse. Duncan and Hana belong to Corrinth, as does Ilehana Xavier should
she be mentioned. Star owns Golan, should he be mentioned too. All other
OCs belong to me, especially Blaze and Jessie.
A/N: Post X2 spoilers, and spoilers for Corrinth's Guardians of Destiny, which incidentally is excellent so go read it! Reviews always appreciated.
Scene 23
"We call the police." Gambit replied to Blaze's immediate and obvious confusion. Had she made him hit his head when she tried to save him from Venu? Were his injuries from the club causing the thief to not think like a thief? Remy knew exactly what she was thinking, knowing how it sounded to his own ears. He didn't know who he was trying to convince more as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes to explain. "We have to do this right, Chere. For Jessica."
He didn't need to say anymore. It was not that Blaze had forgotten about her daughter, just that in the sudden exhilaration of cheating death once again she had been distracted. But she felt a well of guilt anyway, a suffocating blanket of knowing once again she'd put being an X-Man ahead of caring for her child. As she struggled to fight against her own feelings of lack of worth, the plans were made around her. She and Remy would stay, no question of that, and Jean would stay with them. You never could tell when a telepath would come in handy. All three would of course change into civilian gear, and Doctor McMahon would have his memories altered just enough to protect the interests of the X-Men.
And so the team started back to the jets, Rogue only to happy to hear the all clear and unlock the X-Jet for boarding. She greeted Bobby with so much despair and agony over his wounds that there and then he knew it was about time that he married her, cursed with her powers or not. But Jessica was already pushing past them all, fighting her way uncommunicatively to the door and the steps to the ground.
Blaze and Gambit brought up the rear of the group, his arm warm around her shoulders. She froze when the jets shimmered into view, stealth systems shut down. This was it, the end of all the lies, all the secrets. And suddenly she was terribly afraid, more than she ever had been in her life. The fear was more complete even than the mad panic she'd felt when she killed her own parents. More than when she awoke alone in a strange room in Paris to find herself rescued by an unlikely hero. More than when Mercury in a fit of jealous madness had plotted to drown Blaze in a flood of molten metal simply for having the gall to tell her that she wasn't really anything to Remy, that their relationship had always just been a laugh for him. More than she'd ever been when Alessandro Jacobi hunted Gambit and herself, trying to kill her to make Gambit too afraid to refuse his offer of work.
More afraid than she'd been when she found out she was expecting a child. So terrified it outclassed the irrational fear of knowing she'd have to leave her home, the Xavier School, and her love to protect both him and her unborn child. Like an adimantium fist that ripped into her stomach, the fear was even more than knowing that suddenly Remy knew everything, what she'd done, the choices she'd taken away from him, how much she loved him. Now he and her daughter, her precious Jessica Lauren who she'd fought so hard and so long to protect by herself or in the name of the X-Men, would need Blaze's answers.
"Why did you give me up? Didn't you want me?" Jessica was too exhausted from long crying to offer up much emotion in her words. Her Mom and Dad were dead, her life was over. Nothing else should matter to her, but it did. She needed to understand, child though they thought she was. Why had all this happened to her? Was she so bad, was all this her fault for even being born in the first place? These people had befriended her, why would they do that when they had given her up once before? Confused thoughts made her head spin, her stomach churn, and her powers throb. Somehow in the dim light of the new dawn she kept them under control.
"Don't judge Gambit." Blaze began, thinking **I can't do this. **, screaming **I'm not strong enough! **, and pleading **Professor, Ilehana, give me strength? ** Fire like acid ran over her body; tears drying before they could even touch her cheeks. She stepped forward leaving Remy stood separate and alone, a spectator, immune from Jessica's undoubted hatred. But she couldn't dwell on what Jessica might think of her; her daughter's needs must come first. Somehow she carried on. "He didn't know anything about you until that night he introduced you and I at the school. That night we saw your eyes and recognised what it meant."
For a moment Blaze said nothing, letting Jessica digest what had just been said. Remy was torn in pieces, knowing what Laura was trying to do, what she felt she had to do, but hating to see her standing so alone. He stepped forward, but Laura turned at the sound of his movement and met his eyes, silently pleading that he stay out of this. In the distance the sun sent fresh tendrils over the horizon, red and gold and beautiful against the blackness. How could something so perfect begin after such a night of terror, of tragedy?
"So you didn't ask me to the school because I'm your child?" Jessica frowned, almost hating that she had to put her relationship to these people in such close words.
"Non, Petite." Remy was anxious to be more involved. But Blaze again had other ideas, still trying to protect him he realised. If Jessica hated one of them, let it be her, let him still have the daughter he should have had for ten years beforehand.
"I never told anyone at the school, Jessica. Professor Xavier knew, not that he ever meant to intrude, it just happened. And I believe his daughter Ilehana knew too, but she never asked me, would never be so unthinking........."
"How?" Jessica could hardly ask. This just wasn't making sense. In her frustration she almost screamed at Blaze. "Why did you do this to me?"
"I left......... Left Westchester and the X-Men. Left Remy........." She paused, if Jessie was so observant to spot that Laura loved him despite all her disguises, let her see how much that decision had cost her. "I wanted to give you everything, and give it to you myself. I wanted you to have a normal life. I wanted you to be safe, and me to be safe with you......... I wanted to start again........."
Laura choked and her hands flew to her face in a vain attempt to hide her despair. She'd failed in everything she'd ever done. Her knees hit the dusty ground as a shot of light and heat brought the new day upon them, dawn relentless and uncaring about its own terrible timing. Remy was silent, but what the hell could he say? He went to her of course, knelt besides her and placed his hands on her shoulders. But he could offer her no words of comfort. After all they'd been through it was now she needed him, now he was found lacking.
Jessica watched them, waiting at a distance. She wanted to scream at the sky, but her tongue was dry and swollen. She wanted to run to them, to be held as Gambit was now holding Blaze. She felt like pieces of her were dying, shed like snakes shed their skin. Would she come out shiny and new underneath, having grown just a little? Or would this make her horrid and vile, cold and unlovable like poor Leon at the Xavier School?
"It didn't work." Blaze finally lifted her head and brushed the man she loved aside. She met her daughter's eyes and held them. "It didn't last. But for a while, I was happier than I had even been. I loved you; I still do love you with all of my heart Jessica. This is me kneeling before you. This is who I am. I can't stay out of trouble, bad things always happen around me. I gave you up for adoption because I love you, not because I didn't care what happened to you."
Silence descended. Not one of them even dared breathe. On the Eagle, the X- Men granted the three of them privacy, waiting for news in subdued mood. Jessica's world reeled. Somehow it wasn't too hard to believe in everything that Blaze said. Somehow the woman kneeling ungracefully in the dirt seemed the most believable person in the whole world, honest to the point where it could cost her everything. There was no web of lies here to con Jessica, no pattern of deceit to make Blaze seem like an angel. Blaze knew she was nothing of the sort.
"What now?" Jessie finally asked, sounding so very young and tired. Blaze met her daughter's eyes again and couldn't help herself. Reaching out from her position sat on the cold earth she accepted Jessica's desperate hug. Gambit's breath caught in his throat, tears running unashamedly down his cheeks until they welcomed him too into their embrace.
"We fight for you, Petite." He swore, "We always will. Whatever you want, to come back to New York or to stay in California, stay with relatives of the Prices or find new foster parents for you........."
"I want to get to know you." Jessica interrupted him as the gold of the sun sent the first clear shocks of blue through the new day. "Both of you." She would promise them no more than that, her grief too raw to be replacing her Mom and Dad. The sky shifted spectrum as Remy tried to speak again, holding both his daughter and his love tightly in his arms. But before he could say anything, Laura was hushing him with a soft kiss of her lips on his. In her arms their exhausted daughter slept.
A/N: Post X2 spoilers, and spoilers for Corrinth's Guardians of Destiny, which incidentally is excellent so go read it! Reviews always appreciated.
Scene 23
"We call the police." Gambit replied to Blaze's immediate and obvious confusion. Had she made him hit his head when she tried to save him from Venu? Were his injuries from the club causing the thief to not think like a thief? Remy knew exactly what she was thinking, knowing how it sounded to his own ears. He didn't know who he was trying to convince more as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes to explain. "We have to do this right, Chere. For Jessica."
He didn't need to say anymore. It was not that Blaze had forgotten about her daughter, just that in the sudden exhilaration of cheating death once again she had been distracted. But she felt a well of guilt anyway, a suffocating blanket of knowing once again she'd put being an X-Man ahead of caring for her child. As she struggled to fight against her own feelings of lack of worth, the plans were made around her. She and Remy would stay, no question of that, and Jean would stay with them. You never could tell when a telepath would come in handy. All three would of course change into civilian gear, and Doctor McMahon would have his memories altered just enough to protect the interests of the X-Men.
And so the team started back to the jets, Rogue only to happy to hear the all clear and unlock the X-Jet for boarding. She greeted Bobby with so much despair and agony over his wounds that there and then he knew it was about time that he married her, cursed with her powers or not. But Jessica was already pushing past them all, fighting her way uncommunicatively to the door and the steps to the ground.
Blaze and Gambit brought up the rear of the group, his arm warm around her shoulders. She froze when the jets shimmered into view, stealth systems shut down. This was it, the end of all the lies, all the secrets. And suddenly she was terribly afraid, more than she ever had been in her life. The fear was more complete even than the mad panic she'd felt when she killed her own parents. More than when she awoke alone in a strange room in Paris to find herself rescued by an unlikely hero. More than when Mercury in a fit of jealous madness had plotted to drown Blaze in a flood of molten metal simply for having the gall to tell her that she wasn't really anything to Remy, that their relationship had always just been a laugh for him. More than she'd ever been when Alessandro Jacobi hunted Gambit and herself, trying to kill her to make Gambit too afraid to refuse his offer of work.
More afraid than she'd been when she found out she was expecting a child. So terrified it outclassed the irrational fear of knowing she'd have to leave her home, the Xavier School, and her love to protect both him and her unborn child. Like an adimantium fist that ripped into her stomach, the fear was even more than knowing that suddenly Remy knew everything, what she'd done, the choices she'd taken away from him, how much she loved him. Now he and her daughter, her precious Jessica Lauren who she'd fought so hard and so long to protect by herself or in the name of the X-Men, would need Blaze's answers.
"Why did you give me up? Didn't you want me?" Jessica was too exhausted from long crying to offer up much emotion in her words. Her Mom and Dad were dead, her life was over. Nothing else should matter to her, but it did. She needed to understand, child though they thought she was. Why had all this happened to her? Was she so bad, was all this her fault for even being born in the first place? These people had befriended her, why would they do that when they had given her up once before? Confused thoughts made her head spin, her stomach churn, and her powers throb. Somehow in the dim light of the new dawn she kept them under control.
"Don't judge Gambit." Blaze began, thinking **I can't do this. **, screaming **I'm not strong enough! **, and pleading **Professor, Ilehana, give me strength? ** Fire like acid ran over her body; tears drying before they could even touch her cheeks. She stepped forward leaving Remy stood separate and alone, a spectator, immune from Jessica's undoubted hatred. But she couldn't dwell on what Jessica might think of her; her daughter's needs must come first. Somehow she carried on. "He didn't know anything about you until that night he introduced you and I at the school. That night we saw your eyes and recognised what it meant."
For a moment Blaze said nothing, letting Jessica digest what had just been said. Remy was torn in pieces, knowing what Laura was trying to do, what she felt she had to do, but hating to see her standing so alone. He stepped forward, but Laura turned at the sound of his movement and met his eyes, silently pleading that he stay out of this. In the distance the sun sent fresh tendrils over the horizon, red and gold and beautiful against the blackness. How could something so perfect begin after such a night of terror, of tragedy?
"So you didn't ask me to the school because I'm your child?" Jessica frowned, almost hating that she had to put her relationship to these people in such close words.
"Non, Petite." Remy was anxious to be more involved. But Blaze again had other ideas, still trying to protect him he realised. If Jessica hated one of them, let it be her, let him still have the daughter he should have had for ten years beforehand.
"I never told anyone at the school, Jessica. Professor Xavier knew, not that he ever meant to intrude, it just happened. And I believe his daughter Ilehana knew too, but she never asked me, would never be so unthinking........."
"How?" Jessica could hardly ask. This just wasn't making sense. In her frustration she almost screamed at Blaze. "Why did you do this to me?"
"I left......... Left Westchester and the X-Men. Left Remy........." She paused, if Jessie was so observant to spot that Laura loved him despite all her disguises, let her see how much that decision had cost her. "I wanted to give you everything, and give it to you myself. I wanted you to have a normal life. I wanted you to be safe, and me to be safe with you......... I wanted to start again........."
Laura choked and her hands flew to her face in a vain attempt to hide her despair. She'd failed in everything she'd ever done. Her knees hit the dusty ground as a shot of light and heat brought the new day upon them, dawn relentless and uncaring about its own terrible timing. Remy was silent, but what the hell could he say? He went to her of course, knelt besides her and placed his hands on her shoulders. But he could offer her no words of comfort. After all they'd been through it was now she needed him, now he was found lacking.
Jessica watched them, waiting at a distance. She wanted to scream at the sky, but her tongue was dry and swollen. She wanted to run to them, to be held as Gambit was now holding Blaze. She felt like pieces of her were dying, shed like snakes shed their skin. Would she come out shiny and new underneath, having grown just a little? Or would this make her horrid and vile, cold and unlovable like poor Leon at the Xavier School?
"It didn't work." Blaze finally lifted her head and brushed the man she loved aside. She met her daughter's eyes and held them. "It didn't last. But for a while, I was happier than I had even been. I loved you; I still do love you with all of my heart Jessica. This is me kneeling before you. This is who I am. I can't stay out of trouble, bad things always happen around me. I gave you up for adoption because I love you, not because I didn't care what happened to you."
Silence descended. Not one of them even dared breathe. On the Eagle, the X- Men granted the three of them privacy, waiting for news in subdued mood. Jessica's world reeled. Somehow it wasn't too hard to believe in everything that Blaze said. Somehow the woman kneeling ungracefully in the dirt seemed the most believable person in the whole world, honest to the point where it could cost her everything. There was no web of lies here to con Jessica, no pattern of deceit to make Blaze seem like an angel. Blaze knew she was nothing of the sort.
"What now?" Jessie finally asked, sounding so very young and tired. Blaze met her daughter's eyes again and couldn't help herself. Reaching out from her position sat on the cold earth she accepted Jessica's desperate hug. Gambit's breath caught in his throat, tears running unashamedly down his cheeks until they welcomed him too into their embrace.
"We fight for you, Petite." He swore, "We always will. Whatever you want, to come back to New York or to stay in California, stay with relatives of the Prices or find new foster parents for you........."
"I want to get to know you." Jessica interrupted him as the gold of the sun sent the first clear shocks of blue through the new day. "Both of you." She would promise them no more than that, her grief too raw to be replacing her Mom and Dad. The sky shifted spectrum as Remy tried to speak again, holding both his daughter and his love tightly in his arms. But before he could say anything, Laura was hushing him with a soft kiss of her lips on his. In her arms their exhausted daughter slept.