A beeping sound woke her. It wasn't a loud noise, but it was persistent,
and just a little annoying. It seemed to be beeping in the same rhythm as
the pounding in her head, which started as a dull ache when she hovered on
the edge of consciousness but was a full-fledged throbbing by the time she
actually opened her eyes to look around. Hospital. She'd woken in hospitals
before – well, in the infirmary – so she knew one when she saw one. She
just couldn't remember when she'd arrived. Or why. She closed her eyes,
trying to remember. All she could recall was Jack. Jack talking to her,
asking her if she hurt? Sudden panic caused her to open her eyes again, and
she sat bolt upright in the bed.
"Jack?"
He heard her. As he'd promised, he'd never been out of shouting range for more than a moment. When Sam woke up, Jack had been leaning against the wall, his cheek against the cool surface. He'd heard her quite distinctively, and his reaction was immediate.
"Doc."
Frasier was close at hand as well. As she'd been all day. She stepped over and opened the door, but gestured for O'Neill to stay out for a minute. He didn't like that, but he stayed put. Instead, he paced.
The doctor walked into the room, and smiled when she saw Carter sitting up, awake.
"Sam, good."
"Janet? Where am I? Is Jack – Colonel O'Neill all right?"
"You're at the hospital, and he's fine. He's right outside the door." Frasier hadn't missed the slip, and truth to tell, she wasn't surprised. She was very observant, and Sam was her best friend. She'd noticed the change in relationship between Carter and O'Neill just from the difference in the way Sam spoke about him the last month and a half. She hadn't pried, since she knew Sam would tell her eventually. Besides, regulations aside, Frasier was pleased with the pairing. They were good for each other. Sam smoothed out the rough edges that were Jack's temper and Jack O'Neill forced Sam Carter to focus on something other than science and gadgets.
"What happened?" Carter asked, looking over Frasier's shoulder towards the door, hoping to see him.
The doctor's face lost the smile, and she sat down on the edge of the bed.
'What do you remember?"
"Nothing."
Sam vaguely recalled getting up that morning, and that was about it.
Fraiser sighed, and set the clipboard that held Sam's test results aside. She knew them by heart anyways.
"Sam, we need to talk."
~*~
Jack paced. And paced some more, and forced himself to stay away from the window in the door. And forced himself to be civil to the people that passed him as he paced. He was focused on the door, though, and didn't miss the low, muffled wail that sounded from inside. He turned and barged through the door, and saw Fraiser holding Sam, who was in tears. Fraiser saw him as well.
"Out!" She snapped, and O'Neill rocked back on his heels and did what he was told. Instantly. He didn't want to, but he did. He would have argued. He would have bitched and griped and told her that he needed to be there. But Sam didn't need him arguing just then. Something was wrong, and he was terrified, but even in his own distress, he knew that hers was much greater, and hers needed to be dealt with. And Frasier was – presumably – dealing with it. Jack would have to wait until it was his turn to help. He retreated to the hallway, but stood right in front of the door, staring at the little window that didn't let him see anything.
Janet came out of the room about ten minutes later, and found him still standing there. Still staring. Her face showed obvious signs that she'd been crying as well, but she was back in control, now, and ready to face O'Neill.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked. Again.
"Come over and sit down with me for a minute, Colonel."
"I don't want – "
"Colonel. Now."
Fraiser walked to the next door down the hall and opened it, watching him expectantly. Jack looked at the door to Carter's room, then sighed, and followed the doctor. There were a few chairs and a couch and a desk. Jack ignored them all, and Janet leaned against the desk. She came right to the point.
"Did you know Sam was pregnant?"
He stared.
"Obviously not," Frasier said, judging his reaction.
"She's pregnant?" That wasn't bad. Not something to cry about, certainly. Not something to put Sam in the hospital. Jack felt a swell of happiness at the thought before he could even stop and wonder if maybe Sam wasn't quite so pleased.
"No," Fraiser said, softly. "She isn't."
Now he was confused.
"But you just said –"
"She was, Colonel." Fraiser shook her head. "I should have noticed sooner and asked her about it, but she told me she was just feeling a little under the weather, and I believed her."
"That's what she told me." Jack said. Then he stopped. "What are you trying to tell me, Doc? Is she pregnant, or not?"
"She was. Have you ever heard the term 'Ectopic pregnancy'?"
He shook his head.
"It's also called a tubal pregnancy, Colonel. The baby forms in the fallopian tube, and not in the uterus." She paused, incase he wanted to say something, but Jack was stunned into silence, already afraid of what he was going to hear next. She didn't make him wait long. "The baby can't survive there, and it's life-threatening to the mother. The longer we waited, the more chance there was of a rupture."
Jack suddenly needed to sit down. His knees gave out, and he found himself in one of the chairs.
"That's what happened to Sam?"
"She didn't even know she was pregnant. She said she suspected, but that when she took an over the counter test it came back negative. Which happens sometimes, since the pregnancy isn't viable."
"She lost the baby?"
"The baby didn't have a chance, Colonel. As it was, it was a very close thing for Sam. If you hadn't found her when you did... or if she hadn't finally collapsed... it could have killed her."
"Is... is she all right?"
"Physically, she will be. I'll keep her here overnight, just to keep an eye on her, and then send her home in the morning. She won't be able to go back to duty for a little while, and she'll be sore, but that's all." She paused. "Mentally, though, she's in for a rough time. And so are you."
"Me?" Jack was numb.
Frasier nodded. "She needs you to be strong for her, Colonel. Depression is very common, and Sam's already showing signs of it."
"Can I see her?"
"She's afraid to see you."
"What? Why?"
"Because she's already blaming herself, and I'm sure she's afraid you'll blame her, too."
"I don't blame her."
God. He'd lost a baby he didn't even know he was going to have. Pain swept through him at the realization. Pain that Janet saw crease his features. She didn't know for sure what had caused the sudden hurt in his eyes; if it were the thought of Carter being afraid of him, or if he was finally grasping what had happened, but she responded to that pain by reaching down and putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Go see her, Jack. She needs to have you with her right now." And he needed her, too. Whether he knew it or not.
"Jack?"
He heard her. As he'd promised, he'd never been out of shouting range for more than a moment. When Sam woke up, Jack had been leaning against the wall, his cheek against the cool surface. He'd heard her quite distinctively, and his reaction was immediate.
"Doc."
Frasier was close at hand as well. As she'd been all day. She stepped over and opened the door, but gestured for O'Neill to stay out for a minute. He didn't like that, but he stayed put. Instead, he paced.
The doctor walked into the room, and smiled when she saw Carter sitting up, awake.
"Sam, good."
"Janet? Where am I? Is Jack – Colonel O'Neill all right?"
"You're at the hospital, and he's fine. He's right outside the door." Frasier hadn't missed the slip, and truth to tell, she wasn't surprised. She was very observant, and Sam was her best friend. She'd noticed the change in relationship between Carter and O'Neill just from the difference in the way Sam spoke about him the last month and a half. She hadn't pried, since she knew Sam would tell her eventually. Besides, regulations aside, Frasier was pleased with the pairing. They were good for each other. Sam smoothed out the rough edges that were Jack's temper and Jack O'Neill forced Sam Carter to focus on something other than science and gadgets.
"What happened?" Carter asked, looking over Frasier's shoulder towards the door, hoping to see him.
The doctor's face lost the smile, and she sat down on the edge of the bed.
'What do you remember?"
"Nothing."
Sam vaguely recalled getting up that morning, and that was about it.
Fraiser sighed, and set the clipboard that held Sam's test results aside. She knew them by heart anyways.
"Sam, we need to talk."
~*~
Jack paced. And paced some more, and forced himself to stay away from the window in the door. And forced himself to be civil to the people that passed him as he paced. He was focused on the door, though, and didn't miss the low, muffled wail that sounded from inside. He turned and barged through the door, and saw Fraiser holding Sam, who was in tears. Fraiser saw him as well.
"Out!" She snapped, and O'Neill rocked back on his heels and did what he was told. Instantly. He didn't want to, but he did. He would have argued. He would have bitched and griped and told her that he needed to be there. But Sam didn't need him arguing just then. Something was wrong, and he was terrified, but even in his own distress, he knew that hers was much greater, and hers needed to be dealt with. And Frasier was – presumably – dealing with it. Jack would have to wait until it was his turn to help. He retreated to the hallway, but stood right in front of the door, staring at the little window that didn't let him see anything.
Janet came out of the room about ten minutes later, and found him still standing there. Still staring. Her face showed obvious signs that she'd been crying as well, but she was back in control, now, and ready to face O'Neill.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked. Again.
"Come over and sit down with me for a minute, Colonel."
"I don't want – "
"Colonel. Now."
Fraiser walked to the next door down the hall and opened it, watching him expectantly. Jack looked at the door to Carter's room, then sighed, and followed the doctor. There were a few chairs and a couch and a desk. Jack ignored them all, and Janet leaned against the desk. She came right to the point.
"Did you know Sam was pregnant?"
He stared.
"Obviously not," Frasier said, judging his reaction.
"She's pregnant?" That wasn't bad. Not something to cry about, certainly. Not something to put Sam in the hospital. Jack felt a swell of happiness at the thought before he could even stop and wonder if maybe Sam wasn't quite so pleased.
"No," Fraiser said, softly. "She isn't."
Now he was confused.
"But you just said –"
"She was, Colonel." Fraiser shook her head. "I should have noticed sooner and asked her about it, but she told me she was just feeling a little under the weather, and I believed her."
"That's what she told me." Jack said. Then he stopped. "What are you trying to tell me, Doc? Is she pregnant, or not?"
"She was. Have you ever heard the term 'Ectopic pregnancy'?"
He shook his head.
"It's also called a tubal pregnancy, Colonel. The baby forms in the fallopian tube, and not in the uterus." She paused, incase he wanted to say something, but Jack was stunned into silence, already afraid of what he was going to hear next. She didn't make him wait long. "The baby can't survive there, and it's life-threatening to the mother. The longer we waited, the more chance there was of a rupture."
Jack suddenly needed to sit down. His knees gave out, and he found himself in one of the chairs.
"That's what happened to Sam?"
"She didn't even know she was pregnant. She said she suspected, but that when she took an over the counter test it came back negative. Which happens sometimes, since the pregnancy isn't viable."
"She lost the baby?"
"The baby didn't have a chance, Colonel. As it was, it was a very close thing for Sam. If you hadn't found her when you did... or if she hadn't finally collapsed... it could have killed her."
"Is... is she all right?"
"Physically, she will be. I'll keep her here overnight, just to keep an eye on her, and then send her home in the morning. She won't be able to go back to duty for a little while, and she'll be sore, but that's all." She paused. "Mentally, though, she's in for a rough time. And so are you."
"Me?" Jack was numb.
Frasier nodded. "She needs you to be strong for her, Colonel. Depression is very common, and Sam's already showing signs of it."
"Can I see her?"
"She's afraid to see you."
"What? Why?"
"Because she's already blaming herself, and I'm sure she's afraid you'll blame her, too."
"I don't blame her."
God. He'd lost a baby he didn't even know he was going to have. Pain swept through him at the realization. Pain that Janet saw crease his features. She didn't know for sure what had caused the sudden hurt in his eyes; if it were the thought of Carter being afraid of him, or if he was finally grasping what had happened, but she responded to that pain by reaching down and putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Go see her, Jack. She needs to have you with her right now." And he needed her, too. Whether he knew it or not.