He walked through the door into Carter's room without knocking. She was
sitting in her bed, her knees drawn up against her with her arms wrapped
around them, and she looked awful. Her face wasn't pale now; it was blotchy
and red from crying. Her cheeks were smeared with tears and her eyes were
red and bright with tears that had yet to be shed. He looked at her, and
loved her even more. She was beautiful.
Sam heard the door open and turned, and watched as he entered the room. She'd known he was going to come. Even though she'd told Frasier she wasn't sure she wanted to see him, she'd known that nothing would have kept him away. Janet had said she'd tell him what had happened, for which Sam was grateful. She couldn't. She wouldn't know what to say. She'd never have been able to get through it. She saw from the look in his eyes that he knew, and Sam suddenly knew she'd failed him.
"I'm sorry," She whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it.
Jack walked over to the side of her bed and sat on it, careful of all the wires and tubes.
"For what?" He murmured, almost as softly. He put his hand on her knees; wanting to touch her, but unsure if she wanted to be touched. Wanting to hold her, but unsure if she wanted that, too.
"I... we were preg... and I-I couldn't ..." she broke down, and Jack gathered her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and started to rock her.
"This isn't your fault, Sam," Jack said, tears of his own stinging his eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong."
He wasn't even sure if she could hear him over her sobs, but he said it anyways. And kept repeating it over and over. A litany that she'd have to believe eventually, because he'd keep telling her it until she did. She didn't answer him. She only clung to him and buried her face against his chest and cried until the exhaustion from the day, and the lingering effects of the medication they'd given her caught up with her, and she dozed off into a troubled sleep.
O'Neill felt her falling asleep, and didn't try to keep her awake. Certain that rest could only do her good, he ran his hand gently along her back, soothing her as well as he could with a touch, and trying to relax her even further so that she could sleep. Even when he was certain she wasn't hearing him anymore, Jack still held her, unwilling to let her go after a long day of doing nothing but worrying about her. His strong arms cradled her carefully, and his mind started doing some heavy thinking.
Their secret was out. There was no way Fraiser wasn't going to tell Hammond what had happened – she'd have to - and there was no way Jack was going to let anyone think the baby had been anyone's but his. Not because of some manly pride, but because he wasn't going to let her face this alone. He'd thought a lot over the past month and a half about how he was going to tell Hammond what was going on, but hadn't come up with anything that made sense, and didn't get him and Carter into trouble or reassigned. This, of course, was the absolute worst way for him to find out, but it was almost a relief that he'd know. They wouldn't have to hide it, anymore.
"Colonel?"
He was pulled from his thoughts by Frasier. He hadn't even heard her walk in, but when he looked up she was standing right beside the bed.
"You should go."
"I can't leave her."
"She's asleep. She's still heavily medicated, and the shock is catching up to her. She's not going to wake up anytime soon."
"I don't want to leave her."
"I know. But she won't know you're gone." Fraiser said, reasonably, trying to convince him that it wouldn't hurt her to be alone while she slept. "She can't rest comfortably like that, and you're going to ache if you try to stay in that position any longer."
Jack very reluctantly let Sam go and lowered her back against the pillows, pulling her legs gently down so she was in a more comfortable position. Frasier tucked her blankets around her, and rested a hand on O'Neill's shoulder.
"I have to report to General Hammond," she said. "He'll-"
"She's going to sleep all night?" Jack interrupted.
"Probably."
"Can you guarantee it?"
"I could sedate her, if that's what you mean. I thought about doing it earlier, but I wanted her lucid. The medication she's on will help make her sleepy. It wouldn't take much to keep her out all night."
"You do that," Jack said, leaning over and brushing a tender kiss across Sam's damp brow. "I'll go report to General Hammond."
"Colonel?" She wondered what he meant by that.
"You heard me. I'll go talk to him right now." Now, while he was still numb. "You stay with her, and make sure she doesn't wake up to find me gone." He realized he was barking out commands, and took a deep breath. "Please?"
"Are you sure?" She asked him, wondering what he was planning. He suddenly looked so determined. "I don't mind –"
"I do. I'll take care of it. Of all of it."
He turned and headed for the door.
Sam heard the door open and turned, and watched as he entered the room. She'd known he was going to come. Even though she'd told Frasier she wasn't sure she wanted to see him, she'd known that nothing would have kept him away. Janet had said she'd tell him what had happened, for which Sam was grateful. She couldn't. She wouldn't know what to say. She'd never have been able to get through it. She saw from the look in his eyes that he knew, and Sam suddenly knew she'd failed him.
"I'm sorry," She whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it.
Jack walked over to the side of her bed and sat on it, careful of all the wires and tubes.
"For what?" He murmured, almost as softly. He put his hand on her knees; wanting to touch her, but unsure if she wanted to be touched. Wanting to hold her, but unsure if she wanted that, too.
"I... we were preg... and I-I couldn't ..." she broke down, and Jack gathered her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and started to rock her.
"This isn't your fault, Sam," Jack said, tears of his own stinging his eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong."
He wasn't even sure if she could hear him over her sobs, but he said it anyways. And kept repeating it over and over. A litany that she'd have to believe eventually, because he'd keep telling her it until she did. She didn't answer him. She only clung to him and buried her face against his chest and cried until the exhaustion from the day, and the lingering effects of the medication they'd given her caught up with her, and she dozed off into a troubled sleep.
O'Neill felt her falling asleep, and didn't try to keep her awake. Certain that rest could only do her good, he ran his hand gently along her back, soothing her as well as he could with a touch, and trying to relax her even further so that she could sleep. Even when he was certain she wasn't hearing him anymore, Jack still held her, unwilling to let her go after a long day of doing nothing but worrying about her. His strong arms cradled her carefully, and his mind started doing some heavy thinking.
Their secret was out. There was no way Fraiser wasn't going to tell Hammond what had happened – she'd have to - and there was no way Jack was going to let anyone think the baby had been anyone's but his. Not because of some manly pride, but because he wasn't going to let her face this alone. He'd thought a lot over the past month and a half about how he was going to tell Hammond what was going on, but hadn't come up with anything that made sense, and didn't get him and Carter into trouble or reassigned. This, of course, was the absolute worst way for him to find out, but it was almost a relief that he'd know. They wouldn't have to hide it, anymore.
"Colonel?"
He was pulled from his thoughts by Frasier. He hadn't even heard her walk in, but when he looked up she was standing right beside the bed.
"You should go."
"I can't leave her."
"She's asleep. She's still heavily medicated, and the shock is catching up to her. She's not going to wake up anytime soon."
"I don't want to leave her."
"I know. But she won't know you're gone." Fraiser said, reasonably, trying to convince him that it wouldn't hurt her to be alone while she slept. "She can't rest comfortably like that, and you're going to ache if you try to stay in that position any longer."
Jack very reluctantly let Sam go and lowered her back against the pillows, pulling her legs gently down so she was in a more comfortable position. Frasier tucked her blankets around her, and rested a hand on O'Neill's shoulder.
"I have to report to General Hammond," she said. "He'll-"
"She's going to sleep all night?" Jack interrupted.
"Probably."
"Can you guarantee it?"
"I could sedate her, if that's what you mean. I thought about doing it earlier, but I wanted her lucid. The medication she's on will help make her sleepy. It wouldn't take much to keep her out all night."
"You do that," Jack said, leaning over and brushing a tender kiss across Sam's damp brow. "I'll go report to General Hammond."
"Colonel?" She wondered what he meant by that.
"You heard me. I'll go talk to him right now." Now, while he was still numb. "You stay with her, and make sure she doesn't wake up to find me gone." He realized he was barking out commands, and took a deep breath. "Please?"
"Are you sure?" She asked him, wondering what he was planning. He suddenly looked so determined. "I don't mind –"
"I do. I'll take care of it. Of all of it."
He turned and headed for the door.