** Disclaimer: I only own Zana. *******************
I suppose you don't expect this chapter so fast, right? Well, I've been at home all time and I wanted to advance the story a bit.. things are becoming more and more complicated with Zana, Legolas and Haldir.. well, now i want to hear your suggestions.. who of you like more Haldir or who would prefer Legolas for this girl.. ok? ( Or someone thought about Thranduil? (
Thank you for all your reviews!!! Next chapter is coming soon, I promise!
******************************************************************
My heart is low, my heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman's, as only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know
Only a woman's heart- Eleanor McEvoy
When I woke up the sun was already shining up in the sky, filling my room with its light. I didn't feel sick, something amazing after all the wine I had drunk . I sat on my bed, trying to scare away that laziness that invaded me. Suddenly, the memories of last night came to my head, but they weren't clear enough.. at home, when I went out with my friends I never used to drink, maybe just one cocktail , nothing else. So I never had experienced a real hangover that would had deleted my mind , like this one.. but now I wasn't at home.. any mistake could spoil relationships with Mirkwood habitants, they were different from humans on Earth, they could been scandalised, scared or.. disappointed.. the look on Legolas eyes.. last night.. yes, I had a flashback.
I became nervous, I really wasn't able to remember the dance in a logical sequence! "Calm down, Zana.." I put my hands on my head, taking a deep breath. Nothing. Only a strange feeling of .. what was that? The only sensation that came was a bad feeling.. what had happened?
I filled the bath with hot water and stepped inside.. I covered myself with lots of amounts of gel and shampoo, trying to remove all bad memories even from my outside.. but if there were bad memories, the truth is that I couldn't tell.. "What the hell had happened?" Only when I was really nervous or worried I used to talk to myself in loud voice.
I went out from the bath and covered myself with a towel, while I was choosing the most comfortable dress I could find. The choice was a nice green one. I put it on, and then looked for my watch, I had lost all notion of time.. Eleven in the morning.. great, I had missed breakfast.. and I was hungry, to my surprise.. so the medicine that Legolas gave me was powerful. Anyway, I was too ashamed to ask for food to someone there.. but.. ashamed of what? I wanted to remember, I was becoming crazy!
I couldn't stay all day inside my room, so I decided to walk in the sun . The palace was really big and I still didn't know all places. I became curious about Mirkwood habitants, their homes and their way of leaving.. but I couldn't find out myself alone, I needed a guide or someone who led me.
After walking for some minutes, I chose a place in front of the small lake, under a huge tree. It was awesome, I wished I had my camera there. Sitting on the grass, looking at the green water, I tried to relax and bring memories to my head, but only the dinner part was clear.. and the dance with Legolas, before I was drunk for real.. yes, he was so cute, sweet and.. well, what could I say? I really felt going under when I heard the king saying "thank you" after we stopped dancing.. all the magic that had wrapped us had fallen apart.
My eyes filled with tears, and I tried to calm down.. but I just couldn't, I felt so down and , for the first time since I had arrived there, I had the urgent need of crying. I covered my face with my hands , tears falling down. I didn't remember the last time I felt such a pain, but not a physical pain, a spiritual one, I could say. It hurt deep inside.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Great, just when I had a horrible red face, wet, full of tears, someone had found me. I looked up and met Haldir's gaze. He looked so worried and kneeled in front of me. His hand moving along my arm, and then he tried to take my hand, but something made him stop. Sure because I had made a mess last night and now he was avoiding all kind of contact with me.
I looked at him, I had already stopped crying and I was a bit more calmed. We stared at each other for some time, it seemed that he didn't dare to speak with me but.. why? What did I do that was so evil to cause situations like that?
"What's wrong, Zana? "he asked softly, his blue eyes analysing my face, but I avoided him , staring at some point in the distance, I was so ashamed but I still didn't know why.
"I can't remember what did I say or make last night after I got drunk.." my voice was shaking, uf.. and he smiled kindly.
"So this is all the "big" problem?" I watched at him and nodded.
"Do you know that the wine of the elves has a strange effect on humans?"
"What do you mean?" Somehow I felt better, and Haldir noticed it, because he moved from his place and sat next to me.
"You see.. when a human gets drunk with this wine, he has dreams being awake.. like visions that are not real." He looked at me.
"So.. you're telling me that whatever I have in my memory, is everything fake? Just a vision?" He nodded, and I went on asking. "Can you please tell me, then ,what the hell happened yesterday ?"
Haldir smiled, his blue eyes looking into the water.
"You fell asleep" He said, simply. I laughed, and then I felt ashamed.
"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. Were my actions so horrible that you can't tell me?"
"No" he sighed. "Nothing bad happened yesterday because you just were dancing with Gimli , and then Merwen carried you to your room.. so I don't understand why you were crying and why you make a whole world out of this when there's nothing to worry about, Zana " There was a suspicious tone in his voice, he was lying for sure.
"And then why did Legolas bring me a medicine and not Merwen?" Haldir looked at me surprised, but didn't say anything.
"So this is my theory." I went on "Something bad happened, something shamming you don't want to tell me, because it would be too embarrassing for me. I got too drunk , I made something horrible and now nobody wants to talk to me. So you came here to find out if I remember things from the dance, right? You were afraid that I would make something crazy.. so please, Haldir, tell me what did I do that was so horrible? Did I hurt somebody?" I was worried by then ,because his look was terrible, as if I almost had discovered something.
"What?!" I shouted. But he didn't reply. "And I think you still have to explain me why did you finally decide to stay" And again I was talking about something I shouldn't talk about.
"Gandalf asked me" he finally replied, but his answer made me feel bad, very bad. And I didn't know why.
"oh.." Yeah, I only was able to say this. Anyway, what did I expect? Of course, Gandalf was the reason.
Haldir stood up and started to walk back to the palace, turning once to tell me something. I kept my breath. But his words weren't the ones I wanted to hear.. but what did I really want to hear? I was becoming crazy, too crazy.
"If you feel better now, I must leave, I have things to do" I watched at him as he left the place. He always used to leave.. and I always was the one who had to stay thinking or complaining.. and wishing to see him again.. but.. what was I saying??
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Haldir was surprised that Zana didn't remember anything. Obviously, she had drunk more than he had thought at first.. and of course the lie about the wine of elves wouldn't work with her.. she wasn't stupid..
As he was walking back to the palace, he was thinking of what had just happened, how he had found her crying under the tree. Maybe she should know about all details, in order to feel better, but this would mean telling her more things than the things he wanted to explain her.. he got lost, out of control, last night at the party, something made him do that, almost kissing her! If Gimli wouldn't have been there.. "No, I won't think about this" he was whispering to himself. If he had kissed her he would have caused a mess.. after all, she was in love with Legolas, obviously..
When he heard himself saying this, he stopped walking. "Why did I say this?" And suddenly he felt bad... a strange feeling he never had before, something new for him. What was the meaning of that? How did he reach that conclusion about Zana and Legolas? It was stupid, they didn't show any kind of feeling for each other, and Legolas was a prince, how could he love her? And how could she love him? That was impossible.
"Am I jealous?" He laughed at himself, trying not to think about that . It was just a party, where people had drunk too much and music had made strange effects.. this is what happened in those kind of celebrations, nothing else. But he wasn't too convinced with his words. Something had made him think that Zana loved Legolas.. that look when they were dancing and she was staring at the prince..
When he came inside the palace he met Legolas, who was looking for them.
"Where are Gimli and Zana?" he asked Haldir, who looked terribly confused. "What's wrong?" His blue eyes narrowed.
"I've been with Zana now" Haldir walked with the prince. Legolas looked at him with surprise.
"And? Where is she?" He tried to look indifferent, but his voice betrayed him, they both stooped walking and Haldir took a deep breath, looking at the ground and then at his friend.
"I found her crying by the lake"
"What?" Legolas eyes opened, with a troubled expression . Haldir told him about the encounter. Legolas became a bit nervous with last night's details, obviously, he had missed the part that made Zana feel so bad. Yes, Haldir was hiding some important pieces of that puzzle, although he decided no to ask the elf about them.
"It's evident that something hurt her yesterday, Haldir" They both went on walking, none of them spoke. When they reached to the main hall, in front of the dinning room, they heard a loud voice coming downstairs from the first floor.
"Good morning, elves!!" Gimli shouted, walking towards them. "Great party yesterday! Yes! Good wine, good music!!" he was beating on Legolas arm, laughing. Then, his small eyes stopped on Haldir, and the elf froze. Gimli. Of course. He had seen everything. "Haldir.. if my memory works well.. you had a great time yesterday.. "
"Really?" Haldir tried to look calmed. The dwarf smiled evilly . Legolas looked at both of them, confused.
"Legolas , thank you for the party. We had a very good time" Gimli spoke with a sarcastic voice.
"Thank you, but.. what happens here? Haldir?" Legolas asked, inpatient.
"I must leave, see you at lunch" Haldir left, murmuring something.
"Haldir!!" Legolas shouted, but he got no reply. Gimli shrugged.
"He's in love. Let's eat something, I'm hungry" Gimli touched his stomach.
But Legolas was shocked, and stood there, staring at the dwarf with freezing eyes.
"What did you say, Gimli?" Legolas couldn't believe that.
"That I'm hungry, elf!" He sounded rude, like all the times he was hungry.
"No, the other thing you said, don't make fun of me, be serious and tell me why did you say that"
Gimli laughed, almost falling in the ground.
"By all the mines of the Middle Earth!! You also love her!!" And he left, laughing out loud in the halls. A group of elves looked at him and smiled.
But Legolas wasn't smiling at all. He felt as if he had fallen in a river with cold water after laying in the sun.. he wasn't able to judge or think clearly, a reasonable explanation for Gimli's statement.. Things were getting complicated and he was very confused. This girl had arrived three days ago.. only.. and she already had made things so.. but how was possible that Haldir loved her? "He doesn't love her!" he found himself talking in loud voice. But why would it be that bad if Haldir loved her? Maybe he was right about destiny and it was written that they should be together.. so if that was the meaning of Gandalf's predictions, then the mystery of the mission was solved and he should be so happy.. but he wasn't.. "Why?" He was again talking to himself. "I must see Gandalf".
He ran upstairs looking for the magician. Breathless, he knocked on his door, but got no reply. Worried, his hand opened it and found the bedroom empty.. only a white envelope on the bed, with the word "Zana" written on it.. of course he didn't read the content and left it where it was. As soon as he went outside, Gandalf showed up with his bag packed and over his shoulders. He took the envelope and brought it to Zana's room, passing it through the space under the wooden door.
"Good luck, my friends.. be happy and please come back soon" And with those words he left Mirkwood.
I suppose you don't expect this chapter so fast, right? Well, I've been at home all time and I wanted to advance the story a bit.. things are becoming more and more complicated with Zana, Legolas and Haldir.. well, now i want to hear your suggestions.. who of you like more Haldir or who would prefer Legolas for this girl.. ok? ( Or someone thought about Thranduil? (
Thank you for all your reviews!!! Next chapter is coming soon, I promise!
******************************************************************
My heart is low, my heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman's, as only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know
Only a woman's heart- Eleanor McEvoy
When I woke up the sun was already shining up in the sky, filling my room with its light. I didn't feel sick, something amazing after all the wine I had drunk . I sat on my bed, trying to scare away that laziness that invaded me. Suddenly, the memories of last night came to my head, but they weren't clear enough.. at home, when I went out with my friends I never used to drink, maybe just one cocktail , nothing else. So I never had experienced a real hangover that would had deleted my mind , like this one.. but now I wasn't at home.. any mistake could spoil relationships with Mirkwood habitants, they were different from humans on Earth, they could been scandalised, scared or.. disappointed.. the look on Legolas eyes.. last night.. yes, I had a flashback.
I became nervous, I really wasn't able to remember the dance in a logical sequence! "Calm down, Zana.." I put my hands on my head, taking a deep breath. Nothing. Only a strange feeling of .. what was that? The only sensation that came was a bad feeling.. what had happened?
I filled the bath with hot water and stepped inside.. I covered myself with lots of amounts of gel and shampoo, trying to remove all bad memories even from my outside.. but if there were bad memories, the truth is that I couldn't tell.. "What the hell had happened?" Only when I was really nervous or worried I used to talk to myself in loud voice.
I went out from the bath and covered myself with a towel, while I was choosing the most comfortable dress I could find. The choice was a nice green one. I put it on, and then looked for my watch, I had lost all notion of time.. Eleven in the morning.. great, I had missed breakfast.. and I was hungry, to my surprise.. so the medicine that Legolas gave me was powerful. Anyway, I was too ashamed to ask for food to someone there.. but.. ashamed of what? I wanted to remember, I was becoming crazy!
I couldn't stay all day inside my room, so I decided to walk in the sun . The palace was really big and I still didn't know all places. I became curious about Mirkwood habitants, their homes and their way of leaving.. but I couldn't find out myself alone, I needed a guide or someone who led me.
After walking for some minutes, I chose a place in front of the small lake, under a huge tree. It was awesome, I wished I had my camera there. Sitting on the grass, looking at the green water, I tried to relax and bring memories to my head, but only the dinner part was clear.. and the dance with Legolas, before I was drunk for real.. yes, he was so cute, sweet and.. well, what could I say? I really felt going under when I heard the king saying "thank you" after we stopped dancing.. all the magic that had wrapped us had fallen apart.
My eyes filled with tears, and I tried to calm down.. but I just couldn't, I felt so down and , for the first time since I had arrived there, I had the urgent need of crying. I covered my face with my hands , tears falling down. I didn't remember the last time I felt such a pain, but not a physical pain, a spiritual one, I could say. It hurt deep inside.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Great, just when I had a horrible red face, wet, full of tears, someone had found me. I looked up and met Haldir's gaze. He looked so worried and kneeled in front of me. His hand moving along my arm, and then he tried to take my hand, but something made him stop. Sure because I had made a mess last night and now he was avoiding all kind of contact with me.
I looked at him, I had already stopped crying and I was a bit more calmed. We stared at each other for some time, it seemed that he didn't dare to speak with me but.. why? What did I do that was so evil to cause situations like that?
"What's wrong, Zana? "he asked softly, his blue eyes analysing my face, but I avoided him , staring at some point in the distance, I was so ashamed but I still didn't know why.
"I can't remember what did I say or make last night after I got drunk.." my voice was shaking, uf.. and he smiled kindly.
"So this is all the "big" problem?" I watched at him and nodded.
"Do you know that the wine of the elves has a strange effect on humans?"
"What do you mean?" Somehow I felt better, and Haldir noticed it, because he moved from his place and sat next to me.
"You see.. when a human gets drunk with this wine, he has dreams being awake.. like visions that are not real." He looked at me.
"So.. you're telling me that whatever I have in my memory, is everything fake? Just a vision?" He nodded, and I went on asking. "Can you please tell me, then ,what the hell happened yesterday ?"
Haldir smiled, his blue eyes looking into the water.
"You fell asleep" He said, simply. I laughed, and then I felt ashamed.
"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. Were my actions so horrible that you can't tell me?"
"No" he sighed. "Nothing bad happened yesterday because you just were dancing with Gimli , and then Merwen carried you to your room.. so I don't understand why you were crying and why you make a whole world out of this when there's nothing to worry about, Zana " There was a suspicious tone in his voice, he was lying for sure.
"And then why did Legolas bring me a medicine and not Merwen?" Haldir looked at me surprised, but didn't say anything.
"So this is my theory." I went on "Something bad happened, something shamming you don't want to tell me, because it would be too embarrassing for me. I got too drunk , I made something horrible and now nobody wants to talk to me. So you came here to find out if I remember things from the dance, right? You were afraid that I would make something crazy.. so please, Haldir, tell me what did I do that was so horrible? Did I hurt somebody?" I was worried by then ,because his look was terrible, as if I almost had discovered something.
"What?!" I shouted. But he didn't reply. "And I think you still have to explain me why did you finally decide to stay" And again I was talking about something I shouldn't talk about.
"Gandalf asked me" he finally replied, but his answer made me feel bad, very bad. And I didn't know why.
"oh.." Yeah, I only was able to say this. Anyway, what did I expect? Of course, Gandalf was the reason.
Haldir stood up and started to walk back to the palace, turning once to tell me something. I kept my breath. But his words weren't the ones I wanted to hear.. but what did I really want to hear? I was becoming crazy, too crazy.
"If you feel better now, I must leave, I have things to do" I watched at him as he left the place. He always used to leave.. and I always was the one who had to stay thinking or complaining.. and wishing to see him again.. but.. what was I saying??
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Haldir was surprised that Zana didn't remember anything. Obviously, she had drunk more than he had thought at first.. and of course the lie about the wine of elves wouldn't work with her.. she wasn't stupid..
As he was walking back to the palace, he was thinking of what had just happened, how he had found her crying under the tree. Maybe she should know about all details, in order to feel better, but this would mean telling her more things than the things he wanted to explain her.. he got lost, out of control, last night at the party, something made him do that, almost kissing her! If Gimli wouldn't have been there.. "No, I won't think about this" he was whispering to himself. If he had kissed her he would have caused a mess.. after all, she was in love with Legolas, obviously..
When he heard himself saying this, he stopped walking. "Why did I say this?" And suddenly he felt bad... a strange feeling he never had before, something new for him. What was the meaning of that? How did he reach that conclusion about Zana and Legolas? It was stupid, they didn't show any kind of feeling for each other, and Legolas was a prince, how could he love her? And how could she love him? That was impossible.
"Am I jealous?" He laughed at himself, trying not to think about that . It was just a party, where people had drunk too much and music had made strange effects.. this is what happened in those kind of celebrations, nothing else. But he wasn't too convinced with his words. Something had made him think that Zana loved Legolas.. that look when they were dancing and she was staring at the prince..
When he came inside the palace he met Legolas, who was looking for them.
"Where are Gimli and Zana?" he asked Haldir, who looked terribly confused. "What's wrong?" His blue eyes narrowed.
"I've been with Zana now" Haldir walked with the prince. Legolas looked at him with surprise.
"And? Where is she?" He tried to look indifferent, but his voice betrayed him, they both stooped walking and Haldir took a deep breath, looking at the ground and then at his friend.
"I found her crying by the lake"
"What?" Legolas eyes opened, with a troubled expression . Haldir told him about the encounter. Legolas became a bit nervous with last night's details, obviously, he had missed the part that made Zana feel so bad. Yes, Haldir was hiding some important pieces of that puzzle, although he decided no to ask the elf about them.
"It's evident that something hurt her yesterday, Haldir" They both went on walking, none of them spoke. When they reached to the main hall, in front of the dinning room, they heard a loud voice coming downstairs from the first floor.
"Good morning, elves!!" Gimli shouted, walking towards them. "Great party yesterday! Yes! Good wine, good music!!" he was beating on Legolas arm, laughing. Then, his small eyes stopped on Haldir, and the elf froze. Gimli. Of course. He had seen everything. "Haldir.. if my memory works well.. you had a great time yesterday.. "
"Really?" Haldir tried to look calmed. The dwarf smiled evilly . Legolas looked at both of them, confused.
"Legolas , thank you for the party. We had a very good time" Gimli spoke with a sarcastic voice.
"Thank you, but.. what happens here? Haldir?" Legolas asked, inpatient.
"I must leave, see you at lunch" Haldir left, murmuring something.
"Haldir!!" Legolas shouted, but he got no reply. Gimli shrugged.
"He's in love. Let's eat something, I'm hungry" Gimli touched his stomach.
But Legolas was shocked, and stood there, staring at the dwarf with freezing eyes.
"What did you say, Gimli?" Legolas couldn't believe that.
"That I'm hungry, elf!" He sounded rude, like all the times he was hungry.
"No, the other thing you said, don't make fun of me, be serious and tell me why did you say that"
Gimli laughed, almost falling in the ground.
"By all the mines of the Middle Earth!! You also love her!!" And he left, laughing out loud in the halls. A group of elves looked at him and smiled.
But Legolas wasn't smiling at all. He felt as if he had fallen in a river with cold water after laying in the sun.. he wasn't able to judge or think clearly, a reasonable explanation for Gimli's statement.. Things were getting complicated and he was very confused. This girl had arrived three days ago.. only.. and she already had made things so.. but how was possible that Haldir loved her? "He doesn't love her!" he found himself talking in loud voice. But why would it be that bad if Haldir loved her? Maybe he was right about destiny and it was written that they should be together.. so if that was the meaning of Gandalf's predictions, then the mystery of the mission was solved and he should be so happy.. but he wasn't.. "Why?" He was again talking to himself. "I must see Gandalf".
He ran upstairs looking for the magician. Breathless, he knocked on his door, but got no reply. Worried, his hand opened it and found the bedroom empty.. only a white envelope on the bed, with the word "Zana" written on it.. of course he didn't read the content and left it where it was. As soon as he went outside, Gandalf showed up with his bag packed and over his shoulders. He took the envelope and brought it to Zana's room, passing it through the space under the wooden door.
"Good luck, my friends.. be happy and please come back soon" And with those words he left Mirkwood.