** Disclaimer: I only own Zana.
I know you all are becoming inpatient about the elves and who will she end up with, but be patient!( Things can't be rushed and this will be a very long story, there will be enough time for lots of surprises! So I also have to include boring chapters like this one, just to change scenarios a bit.. )
Again, thank you very much for all your reviews!!
******************************************************
This is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings i've shared
and these are my dreams
that i'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cuz i
i must be sleeping
So far away- Staind
I looked at the green water of the lake. A flashback came to my head.. I had met Haldir at the party.. I had felt happy when I saw him.. but why, if some minutes before I was in heaven dancing with Legolas? But that was stupid, I had only arrived there three days ago, I had only spent there three short days! What would happen after some weeks? Crazy, I was going to become crazy. "Haldir or Legolas.." I whispered. "Why am I choosing?" I stood up and walked towards the palace, scaring away all those thoughts from my head.
I opened the door of my room and found a white envelope waiting for me. That was strange, someone had passed it under the door. I picked it up and sat on a chair in the balcony, under the sun. My fingers were shaking a bit, the only words written there were "Zana", so it could come from anybody.. somehow I wished it was from one of the elves.. but to my big surprise, I had got news from the one I less expected. I read Gandalf's letter.
"Dear Zana, probably you're surprised with this letter , and I apologise for not giving you it in person.. but I saw something last night, at the party, that made me take this decision.. only the king knows about my sudden departure, and it will be like this until you'll tell them what had happened.. I'm sure you won't show this letter to any of them, because I'll talk about something embarrassing.. so you, and only you, will have to fix things with yourself.. you know what I mean.. or maybe not, so I'll explain.
I thought that I was here to help you to find your mission, something that will change the future on Earth.. but I was wrong, and Galadriel helped me to understand it.. something great is waiting for you, but at the same time you will have to take a very difficult decision. . and I'm not talking about a love decision. Yes, don't be surprised.. I've seen you yesterday at the party and I know what it's inside your heart.. you're confused and you have a battle inside you.. but I'll warn you about something.. you're too focused on heart, you're forgetting who are you and what are you doing here.. find out your journey soon, Zana.. those are not holidays. I still can't say if your arrival here is related to Haldir or Legolas, no one can tell.. the only sure thing I can tell you is that soon you'll have to leave to a distant place, and your journey will be a very difficult journey, you'll need good friends to support you and you shouldn't play a game with hearts, dances and arguments.. find friends here because you'll need them . You need someone to trust on, not someone with a lot of doubts about himself.. so please, Zana, find the correct path.. I'm leaving to let you decide by yourself because it's only you the one who is able to do it.. take some persons, only a few of them, for the journey.. where ? I can't tell.. you'll discover it soon.. good luck, my friend, never give up.. and if everything goes well, we'll meet again. Yours, Gandalf "
I was shocked.. I had to read it three times.. I didn't like the effect it caused on me.. what did he want to say with that? That I should forget about elves, love and so on.. and I should only find a kind of soldiers or protectors to travel with me? And that journey.. how would I find out where to go? I was also ashamed of myself.. I had been all time thinking about romantic events , and forgot about the real reason of my arrival.. Gandalf was right.. from now on, things were going to change and my life would get even more complicated.. and I was sure that neither of the elves would join me in that trip.. and I would have to find some volunteers , and I would be alone and.. what if I failed? What would happen? I was so scared that I couldn't think . I checked the time, I was hungry.. it was lunch time already, and I would have to meet the elves in the dinning room.. "Well, from now on I'll be serious and I'll start planning the mission.. if I find out which is it.."
When I came in the dinning room only Legolas and Gimli were sitting on our table.. I blushed when they greeted me, and they went on with their conversation. Gimli gave me a strange look I didn't understand, and then Legolas also checked me.
"What's wrong? " I asked in a sharp voice, because I always hated when people looked at me without giving explanations. Legolas looked at Gimli, with a warning gaze, and the dwarf shut up.
" I was wondering how do you feel, Zana.." Legolas looked at me, and smiled kindly. Gimli coughed.. with a suspicious cough..
"I feel very well, thanks.. what happens here? You both are also angry or upset because of something I did last night?" It was funny the way they both watched at me.
"What do you mean?" Legolas asked, leaving the fork on the table.
"Well, I can't remember anything about yesterday after I got drunk.. " I blushed deeply again. " And I have to admit that I feel a bit ashamed.. and I don't know why.. well, I mean, I'm so confused.."
" I could tell you some things that would make your ideas more clear.." the dwarf sang with a mysterious voice, but Legolas got angry and ordered him to shut up. But it was too late, I was already curious.
"What happened yesterday, Gimli? Haldir didn't want to tell me and he even invented a stupid story, so please, someone tell me!" I was almost shouting. And in that moment Haldir came in the dinning room , and I saw Gimli laughing and moving his head.
"Yes, yes, things are getting interesting!!" The dwarf was having a very good time and I didn't know why. Legolas looked at me and I looked at him, we both confused .
Haldir sat down and gave a serious look to the dwarf. Then he looked at me and Legolas.
"I was asking them what happened yesterday, because you didn't want to tell me, Haldir" I decided to find out the truth and I would insist until they all would get so tired of me. Haldir was pale.. as if he was afraid of something, and suddenly he looked at Gimli. "Oh.." I went on talking. "So Gimli knows something I should know and you're afraid that he would speak.. and you, Legolas, you also know it?" Legolas looked at me and moved his head.
"I don't know more things than you, Zana.. but this is going too far away.. Haldir or Gimli, tell us what's wrong here. She has all the right to know it, and I must know it too, because if you keep the mystery this means that I'm involved too.. so please, talk now" He was becoming inpatient. I was trying to read on Haldir's face and all I could discover was that he was really nervous.
"Legolas, this doesn't have anything to do with you, I promise" Haldir spoke, and Gimli nodded. "So if you don't mind, I would like to talk about it later, only with her" he pointed at me. Legolas expression changed into an upset one.. he was controlling himself and finally took a deep breath.
"OK, Haldir. I believe you and I won't ask more. But if I discover that the thing that hurted Zana could affect more people.. then you'll be sorry for this" Both elves looked at each others, and Haldir smiled.
"Be calmed, Legolas. It's a stupid thing and it won't cause troubles to anybody else.."
"But it will hurt somebody then.. " I said, a bit scared.. what did I do at that party?? Haldir looked in my eyes.
" I still don't know if it will hurt you" A mysterious smile on his lips.
We went on having lunch, neither of us speaking.. I wasn't too hungry by then, and I stopped eating soon. I needed to go out and calm a bit, I was so nervous, wondering what would Haldir tell me.. Legolas looked at me.
"You look nervous, what's wrong?"
"And you ask me what's wrong? Finally I'll know all the truth about yesterday and you ask me what's wrong? " I took a deep breath. "Only one thing makes me happy.. that the only two persons who know about it are Gimli and Haldir so nobody else here will hate me too"
"Nobody hates you, Zana" Gimli spoke so fast, giving me an angry look. "Stop saying those things because we all are getting tired of your victim role.." I couldn't believe that the dwarf had said that.
I stood up and left the table, the dinning room and the palace. I wanted to walk and disappear until dinner time. And I did so. I went to that place under the tree, and it was so comfortable that I laid down and closed my eyes, half asleep.
--------------- --------------- ----------------------- ----------------
"I don't like how things look like right now, friends " Legolas looked at Haldir. "I thought you trusted me, and you, Gimli" he looked at the dwarf. "After all what we lived during the war.. "
"I didn't want to say anything in front of her because she would feel uncomfortable, Legolas" Gimli spoke, but receiving a beat from Haldir, the typical "shut up" beat on the ribs. The dwarf complained. "No, Haldir, I'll tell everything and finish with this childish behaviour, I'm sorry, but Legolas is my friend and I don't have secrets for him"
"Then I already finished with lunch. I see that nobody here respects private life of anybody" Haldir stood up and left the room. But before opening the door, he heard Gimli shouting at him.
"And you play with the feelings of people, which is a lot worse than being honest with my best friend". After the dwarf spoke, Haldir opened the door, he was furious and left the palace, looking for a peaceful place where to think.. and hide.
At the table, Legolas sat next to Gimli, and made sure that nobody else was listening, considering that the dwarf's voice was too loud and any elf could hear it.
"Please, tell me what happened yesterday, be brief but don't forget any detail. I made a promise, I promised I would protect Zana and I can't do it if there are secrets hidden that hurt her.. "
"I understand it, so this is why I decided to speak. Zana would feel bad if I had revealed this in front of her.. it seems she forgot about this.. event.. " Gimli looked in the distance, trying to remember everything in a correct way.. after all, he also was so drunk.. but his memory was used to those alcohol effects, and it worked perfectly.
"So.. tell me then.. " Legolas was doing his best to control his inpatient mood.
"Ok, this is what I remember.. I remember you looking for Zana.. then .. then everything is so unclear.. maybe you danced with her?" the elf nodded, and Gimli went on with the story. " Well.. then all I can remember is that she came to dance with me.. yes, we were dancing for some time.. and when I wanted to ask her something, she wasn't there, she had disappeared! "
"Yes, and I found her.. and I called Haldir and we were standing there helping her with the drunkenness.. but what I want to know is what happened when I went to talk to my father, because when I returned you were laughing out loud, Haldir was shocked and Zana.." he remembered her gaze and he hurried Gimli to finish the tale, if it could be called like this.. The dwarf looked at him and sighed.
" Please, now you should calm down.. you see, when I went out from the crowd, and a nice slow song was sounding, I saw Haldir and Zana.." Legolas froze.
"Please, go on! Don't keep me like this!"
"Haldir was trying to kiss Zana, Legolas" With those words, Legolas became so pale.
"So you were right, Gimli.. he loves her.. "
"And what about you? Why are you so shocked? You should be happy for them ,if that was the case.."
" And Zana was.. trying to kiss him too?"
"My friend.. my memory can't remember more details.. but I can assure you that the girl was even more shocked than you're now.. believe me, she wouldn't have made any move.."
"What do you know?" Legolas voice became louder.
"Oh, no.. you can't be in love with her too, Legolas.. what happens to both of you? She's a normal girl who had arrived here only three days ago, elf, three!! You all are crazy!!"
"I'm not in love with her, Gimli. And if they love each other, and if this is the meaning of her arrival in Mirkwood.. then everything is solved." And he thought to himself " This is why Gandalf left.. everything has finished now.. " Legolas tried to look calmed and serious, but his friend knew him too well. Anyway he didn't say anything to the elf. Legolas looked so different in that moment, as if a light was shining inside him.. he didn't like the look he had in his eyes.. like before the battle in Helms Deep..
"But I still have to discover why did Gandalf leave.." Gimli opened his eyes.
"Gandalf left? When??" Legolas explained him all what he had seen, and the dwarf stood up .
"Legolas, then we must ask Zana, she has the letter!"
"If Gandalf wanted us to know about the content, he would have written to all of us, not only to her.. she will tell us if she wants. And I already talked to my father and he also knows about this departure.. things are changing now, Gimli.. new times are coming and life is not a party any more.. we have to prepare now for what is coming. "
Legolas and Gimli left the dinning room, getting lost somewhere inside the palace.
"Gimli, promise me something.. that you won't ever talk about love or romantic events, ok? Those are confusing things and we all must think clearly about everything." Legolas looked at him with pleading eyes.
"I promise" But the dwarf was hiding a smile.. he knew that things wouldn't be so easy and that sooner or later, Legolas would attack. After all, he was a warrior and he wasn't used to loose the battles.
I know you all are becoming inpatient about the elves and who will she end up with, but be patient!( Things can't be rushed and this will be a very long story, there will be enough time for lots of surprises! So I also have to include boring chapters like this one, just to change scenarios a bit.. )
Again, thank you very much for all your reviews!!
******************************************************
This is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings i've shared
and these are my dreams
that i'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cuz i
i must be sleeping
So far away- Staind
I looked at the green water of the lake. A flashback came to my head.. I had met Haldir at the party.. I had felt happy when I saw him.. but why, if some minutes before I was in heaven dancing with Legolas? But that was stupid, I had only arrived there three days ago, I had only spent there three short days! What would happen after some weeks? Crazy, I was going to become crazy. "Haldir or Legolas.." I whispered. "Why am I choosing?" I stood up and walked towards the palace, scaring away all those thoughts from my head.
I opened the door of my room and found a white envelope waiting for me. That was strange, someone had passed it under the door. I picked it up and sat on a chair in the balcony, under the sun. My fingers were shaking a bit, the only words written there were "Zana", so it could come from anybody.. somehow I wished it was from one of the elves.. but to my big surprise, I had got news from the one I less expected. I read Gandalf's letter.
"Dear Zana, probably you're surprised with this letter , and I apologise for not giving you it in person.. but I saw something last night, at the party, that made me take this decision.. only the king knows about my sudden departure, and it will be like this until you'll tell them what had happened.. I'm sure you won't show this letter to any of them, because I'll talk about something embarrassing.. so you, and only you, will have to fix things with yourself.. you know what I mean.. or maybe not, so I'll explain.
I thought that I was here to help you to find your mission, something that will change the future on Earth.. but I was wrong, and Galadriel helped me to understand it.. something great is waiting for you, but at the same time you will have to take a very difficult decision. . and I'm not talking about a love decision. Yes, don't be surprised.. I've seen you yesterday at the party and I know what it's inside your heart.. you're confused and you have a battle inside you.. but I'll warn you about something.. you're too focused on heart, you're forgetting who are you and what are you doing here.. find out your journey soon, Zana.. those are not holidays. I still can't say if your arrival here is related to Haldir or Legolas, no one can tell.. the only sure thing I can tell you is that soon you'll have to leave to a distant place, and your journey will be a very difficult journey, you'll need good friends to support you and you shouldn't play a game with hearts, dances and arguments.. find friends here because you'll need them . You need someone to trust on, not someone with a lot of doubts about himself.. so please, Zana, find the correct path.. I'm leaving to let you decide by yourself because it's only you the one who is able to do it.. take some persons, only a few of them, for the journey.. where ? I can't tell.. you'll discover it soon.. good luck, my friend, never give up.. and if everything goes well, we'll meet again. Yours, Gandalf "
I was shocked.. I had to read it three times.. I didn't like the effect it caused on me.. what did he want to say with that? That I should forget about elves, love and so on.. and I should only find a kind of soldiers or protectors to travel with me? And that journey.. how would I find out where to go? I was also ashamed of myself.. I had been all time thinking about romantic events , and forgot about the real reason of my arrival.. Gandalf was right.. from now on, things were going to change and my life would get even more complicated.. and I was sure that neither of the elves would join me in that trip.. and I would have to find some volunteers , and I would be alone and.. what if I failed? What would happen? I was so scared that I couldn't think . I checked the time, I was hungry.. it was lunch time already, and I would have to meet the elves in the dinning room.. "Well, from now on I'll be serious and I'll start planning the mission.. if I find out which is it.."
When I came in the dinning room only Legolas and Gimli were sitting on our table.. I blushed when they greeted me, and they went on with their conversation. Gimli gave me a strange look I didn't understand, and then Legolas also checked me.
"What's wrong? " I asked in a sharp voice, because I always hated when people looked at me without giving explanations. Legolas looked at Gimli, with a warning gaze, and the dwarf shut up.
" I was wondering how do you feel, Zana.." Legolas looked at me, and smiled kindly. Gimli coughed.. with a suspicious cough..
"I feel very well, thanks.. what happens here? You both are also angry or upset because of something I did last night?" It was funny the way they both watched at me.
"What do you mean?" Legolas asked, leaving the fork on the table.
"Well, I can't remember anything about yesterday after I got drunk.. " I blushed deeply again. " And I have to admit that I feel a bit ashamed.. and I don't know why.. well, I mean, I'm so confused.."
" I could tell you some things that would make your ideas more clear.." the dwarf sang with a mysterious voice, but Legolas got angry and ordered him to shut up. But it was too late, I was already curious.
"What happened yesterday, Gimli? Haldir didn't want to tell me and he even invented a stupid story, so please, someone tell me!" I was almost shouting. And in that moment Haldir came in the dinning room , and I saw Gimli laughing and moving his head.
"Yes, yes, things are getting interesting!!" The dwarf was having a very good time and I didn't know why. Legolas looked at me and I looked at him, we both confused .
Haldir sat down and gave a serious look to the dwarf. Then he looked at me and Legolas.
"I was asking them what happened yesterday, because you didn't want to tell me, Haldir" I decided to find out the truth and I would insist until they all would get so tired of me. Haldir was pale.. as if he was afraid of something, and suddenly he looked at Gimli. "Oh.." I went on talking. "So Gimli knows something I should know and you're afraid that he would speak.. and you, Legolas, you also know it?" Legolas looked at me and moved his head.
"I don't know more things than you, Zana.. but this is going too far away.. Haldir or Gimli, tell us what's wrong here. She has all the right to know it, and I must know it too, because if you keep the mystery this means that I'm involved too.. so please, talk now" He was becoming inpatient. I was trying to read on Haldir's face and all I could discover was that he was really nervous.
"Legolas, this doesn't have anything to do with you, I promise" Haldir spoke, and Gimli nodded. "So if you don't mind, I would like to talk about it later, only with her" he pointed at me. Legolas expression changed into an upset one.. he was controlling himself and finally took a deep breath.
"OK, Haldir. I believe you and I won't ask more. But if I discover that the thing that hurted Zana could affect more people.. then you'll be sorry for this" Both elves looked at each others, and Haldir smiled.
"Be calmed, Legolas. It's a stupid thing and it won't cause troubles to anybody else.."
"But it will hurt somebody then.. " I said, a bit scared.. what did I do at that party?? Haldir looked in my eyes.
" I still don't know if it will hurt you" A mysterious smile on his lips.
We went on having lunch, neither of us speaking.. I wasn't too hungry by then, and I stopped eating soon. I needed to go out and calm a bit, I was so nervous, wondering what would Haldir tell me.. Legolas looked at me.
"You look nervous, what's wrong?"
"And you ask me what's wrong? Finally I'll know all the truth about yesterday and you ask me what's wrong? " I took a deep breath. "Only one thing makes me happy.. that the only two persons who know about it are Gimli and Haldir so nobody else here will hate me too"
"Nobody hates you, Zana" Gimli spoke so fast, giving me an angry look. "Stop saying those things because we all are getting tired of your victim role.." I couldn't believe that the dwarf had said that.
I stood up and left the table, the dinning room and the palace. I wanted to walk and disappear until dinner time. And I did so. I went to that place under the tree, and it was so comfortable that I laid down and closed my eyes, half asleep.
--------------- --------------- ----------------------- ----------------
"I don't like how things look like right now, friends " Legolas looked at Haldir. "I thought you trusted me, and you, Gimli" he looked at the dwarf. "After all what we lived during the war.. "
"I didn't want to say anything in front of her because she would feel uncomfortable, Legolas" Gimli spoke, but receiving a beat from Haldir, the typical "shut up" beat on the ribs. The dwarf complained. "No, Haldir, I'll tell everything and finish with this childish behaviour, I'm sorry, but Legolas is my friend and I don't have secrets for him"
"Then I already finished with lunch. I see that nobody here respects private life of anybody" Haldir stood up and left the room. But before opening the door, he heard Gimli shouting at him.
"And you play with the feelings of people, which is a lot worse than being honest with my best friend". After the dwarf spoke, Haldir opened the door, he was furious and left the palace, looking for a peaceful place where to think.. and hide.
At the table, Legolas sat next to Gimli, and made sure that nobody else was listening, considering that the dwarf's voice was too loud and any elf could hear it.
"Please, tell me what happened yesterday, be brief but don't forget any detail. I made a promise, I promised I would protect Zana and I can't do it if there are secrets hidden that hurt her.. "
"I understand it, so this is why I decided to speak. Zana would feel bad if I had revealed this in front of her.. it seems she forgot about this.. event.. " Gimli looked in the distance, trying to remember everything in a correct way.. after all, he also was so drunk.. but his memory was used to those alcohol effects, and it worked perfectly.
"So.. tell me then.. " Legolas was doing his best to control his inpatient mood.
"Ok, this is what I remember.. I remember you looking for Zana.. then .. then everything is so unclear.. maybe you danced with her?" the elf nodded, and Gimli went on with the story. " Well.. then all I can remember is that she came to dance with me.. yes, we were dancing for some time.. and when I wanted to ask her something, she wasn't there, she had disappeared! "
"Yes, and I found her.. and I called Haldir and we were standing there helping her with the drunkenness.. but what I want to know is what happened when I went to talk to my father, because when I returned you were laughing out loud, Haldir was shocked and Zana.." he remembered her gaze and he hurried Gimli to finish the tale, if it could be called like this.. The dwarf looked at him and sighed.
" Please, now you should calm down.. you see, when I went out from the crowd, and a nice slow song was sounding, I saw Haldir and Zana.." Legolas froze.
"Please, go on! Don't keep me like this!"
"Haldir was trying to kiss Zana, Legolas" With those words, Legolas became so pale.
"So you were right, Gimli.. he loves her.. "
"And what about you? Why are you so shocked? You should be happy for them ,if that was the case.."
" And Zana was.. trying to kiss him too?"
"My friend.. my memory can't remember more details.. but I can assure you that the girl was even more shocked than you're now.. believe me, she wouldn't have made any move.."
"What do you know?" Legolas voice became louder.
"Oh, no.. you can't be in love with her too, Legolas.. what happens to both of you? She's a normal girl who had arrived here only three days ago, elf, three!! You all are crazy!!"
"I'm not in love with her, Gimli. And if they love each other, and if this is the meaning of her arrival in Mirkwood.. then everything is solved." And he thought to himself " This is why Gandalf left.. everything has finished now.. " Legolas tried to look calmed and serious, but his friend knew him too well. Anyway he didn't say anything to the elf. Legolas looked so different in that moment, as if a light was shining inside him.. he didn't like the look he had in his eyes.. like before the battle in Helms Deep..
"But I still have to discover why did Gandalf leave.." Gimli opened his eyes.
"Gandalf left? When??" Legolas explained him all what he had seen, and the dwarf stood up .
"Legolas, then we must ask Zana, she has the letter!"
"If Gandalf wanted us to know about the content, he would have written to all of us, not only to her.. she will tell us if she wants. And I already talked to my father and he also knows about this departure.. things are changing now, Gimli.. new times are coming and life is not a party any more.. we have to prepare now for what is coming. "
Legolas and Gimli left the dinning room, getting lost somewhere inside the palace.
"Gimli, promise me something.. that you won't ever talk about love or romantic events, ok? Those are confusing things and we all must think clearly about everything." Legolas looked at him with pleading eyes.
"I promise" But the dwarf was hiding a smile.. he knew that things wouldn't be so easy and that sooner or later, Legolas would attack. After all, he was a warrior and he wasn't used to loose the battles.