Ask, and ye shall receive
By celes dawn and vera
Disclaimer: All Suikoden III characters belong to Konami. Though we would love to terrorize them into giving us Yuber and Albert. *hush* we weren't suppose to reveal that yet. We disclaim that we wrote that.
Chapter one: Steam was never this funny
In order to fulfill his diabolical plans, Luc gathered a handful of supporters, the drone Sarah, the strategist Albert, but there was a missing ingredient.
Luc needed a killer that could eliminate targets efficiently and without remorse. That is, a meat wagon. Since as we all know, you can't cast a spell if you get whacked. And every good team has a hard hitter.
This task was given to Albert. Since he always gets the weird jobs. Albert then used his occult powers and summons Yuber. Now if Albert can use his occult powers to summon cool monsters, he should have done it in the first place, instead of depending on Sarah. They could have destroyed the world by now.
*Cough, cough.*
These are the occurrences in the early days of this unholy alliance.
***
Albert caught Yuber slaughtering a Harmonian soldier. As usual, Yuber is all bloody. And obviously, the soldier is dead.
Albert sighs, "That's the fifth one this week. I told you to control your urges Yuber."
"Bah! Caught again. How is it you always manage to spoil my fun... gah!" Yuber is displeased, very.
"Get back to headquarters Yuber. Right. Now." After seeing Yuber march off in the general direction of the headquarters, Albert has the distasteful task of arranging a cover-up story. "Luc won't be pleased about this."
*Guest appearance by Luc.
Luc: I'm not.
***
"Damn it, Yuber! Into the bath, right now."
Albert and Yuber entered the bathroom, with only towels giving a sense of modesty.
"But he was a filthy worm! He was begging to be extinguished!" Yuber gave the hot water a suspicious look. Finally he dipped his hand into the water. "Yeouch!" he recoils back. "I don't understand why humans enjoy scalding themselves."
"Because it is relaxing." Albert replies nonchalantly.
Yuber gave Albert a dirty look. "And how is turning into a beetroot relaxing?"
"That's why I brought you here."
"I'll rather be killing people."
"Not in broad daylight, Yuber."
Yuber rolls eyes. "Isn't that the point of being a superior demon? To wreck havoc upon the filthy, weak humans!"
"That's the point of the bath."
"What?"
"So that we are not filthy." Albert locates the sponge.
"..." A very long pause. "I don't care what you say, Silverberg. I'm getting out of this steamboat!" Yuber turns to the door to leave.
Albert waits until Yuber is at the threshold. "You'll be able to kill people soon enough, Yuber. You just have to learn to be patient."
"I want. To kill. Now." Note how Yuber emphasizes his words.
"No, bath first. Kill later."
"Not in this hot water."
Albert chooses to ignore Yuber's whining. "Before you get into the hot tub, you have to wash yourself first..."
"Are you listening to me?"
"...with cold water." Albert proceeds to demonstrate.
"I will not be ignored!" Yuber loses his cool. He can't take it when people don't pay attention to him, poor boy, poor demon.
Albert finishes his demo. "It's really easy. Now you try." Albert can be so cold hearted. But heck, he makes the perfect nanny.
"Stop ignoring me..." Yuber is at the verge of tears. If he was a weak human, he would be crying by now... be thankful he isn't.
Albert finally stops his 'silent' treatment. "I will, if you take a bath."
"Oh alright." Poor Yuber, just cause he wants attention. "But after this, we – kill." Yuber starts to wash himself.
Albert kneels behind Yuber and scrubs his back.
Yuber jumps up, startled. "What the hell were you doing?!!"
Albert coolly replies, "Scrubbing your back."
"What for?" Yuber has the expression that he is about to bite Albert to bits.
"Because that's how it's done. Now sit down."
"I don't care! Don't you lay a finger on me!"
"Fine, then you scrub my back."
"Why should I?"
"So that you can get back to killing people."
"Damn, you're right." Having no option left, Yuber picks up the sponge and scrubs Albert's back.
A few minutes later. "You're pretty good at this, Yuber. You should work in a bathhouse, instead you're wasting your talent killing people."
"Damn you Silverberg. If it wasn't because I need to kill later, I wouldn't be entertaining you."
"Entertaining? Oh yes, maybe you should be a comedian instead." He pauses. "A little harder there, Yuber."
Yuber fumes in silence. He's suffering from the torment of Albert Silverberg. Have pity.
"Are you sure you don't want me to scrub your back?"
"If I can stop scrubbing your back, yes." Of course, Yuber had a lot more to say, but due to the explicit nature, we have edited it out.
"Very well." Albert finally gets to scrub Yuber's back. "You don't go out much, do you?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"You're as pale as death's skull."
Of course, that was a stupid question. D'uh. Yuber goes out a lot, since he has to kill every hour or so. On the other hand, he wears full body armor most of the time, so...
Yuber starts to say something, "..."
"Never mind, just get into the hot tub." Albert's real good... he doesn't give anyone a chance. Why stick to being the strategist? He could be the ruler of Harmonia!
The two get into the tub. Albert closes his eyes, and enjoys the hot water. The steam on his face feels good too.
After a long silence.
"You know," Yuber says, "This ain't half bad."
End of chapter one
Disclaimer: All Suikoden III characters belong to Konami. Though we would love to terrorize them into giving us Yuber and Albert. *hush* we weren't suppose to reveal that yet. We disclaim that we wrote that.
Chapter one: Steam was never this funny
In order to fulfill his diabolical plans, Luc gathered a handful of supporters, the drone Sarah, the strategist Albert, but there was a missing ingredient.
Luc needed a killer that could eliminate targets efficiently and without remorse. That is, a meat wagon. Since as we all know, you can't cast a spell if you get whacked. And every good team has a hard hitter.
This task was given to Albert. Since he always gets the weird jobs. Albert then used his occult powers and summons Yuber. Now if Albert can use his occult powers to summon cool monsters, he should have done it in the first place, instead of depending on Sarah. They could have destroyed the world by now.
*Cough, cough.*
These are the occurrences in the early days of this unholy alliance.
***
Albert caught Yuber slaughtering a Harmonian soldier. As usual, Yuber is all bloody. And obviously, the soldier is dead.
Albert sighs, "That's the fifth one this week. I told you to control your urges Yuber."
"Bah! Caught again. How is it you always manage to spoil my fun... gah!" Yuber is displeased, very.
"Get back to headquarters Yuber. Right. Now." After seeing Yuber march off in the general direction of the headquarters, Albert has the distasteful task of arranging a cover-up story. "Luc won't be pleased about this."
*Guest appearance by Luc.
Luc: I'm not.
***
"Damn it, Yuber! Into the bath, right now."
Albert and Yuber entered the bathroom, with only towels giving a sense of modesty.
"But he was a filthy worm! He was begging to be extinguished!" Yuber gave the hot water a suspicious look. Finally he dipped his hand into the water. "Yeouch!" he recoils back. "I don't understand why humans enjoy scalding themselves."
"Because it is relaxing." Albert replies nonchalantly.
Yuber gave Albert a dirty look. "And how is turning into a beetroot relaxing?"
"That's why I brought you here."
"I'll rather be killing people."
"Not in broad daylight, Yuber."
Yuber rolls eyes. "Isn't that the point of being a superior demon? To wreck havoc upon the filthy, weak humans!"
"That's the point of the bath."
"What?"
"So that we are not filthy." Albert locates the sponge.
"..." A very long pause. "I don't care what you say, Silverberg. I'm getting out of this steamboat!" Yuber turns to the door to leave.
Albert waits until Yuber is at the threshold. "You'll be able to kill people soon enough, Yuber. You just have to learn to be patient."
"I want. To kill. Now." Note how Yuber emphasizes his words.
"No, bath first. Kill later."
"Not in this hot water."
Albert chooses to ignore Yuber's whining. "Before you get into the hot tub, you have to wash yourself first..."
"Are you listening to me?"
"...with cold water." Albert proceeds to demonstrate.
"I will not be ignored!" Yuber loses his cool. He can't take it when people don't pay attention to him, poor boy, poor demon.
Albert finishes his demo. "It's really easy. Now you try." Albert can be so cold hearted. But heck, he makes the perfect nanny.
"Stop ignoring me..." Yuber is at the verge of tears. If he was a weak human, he would be crying by now... be thankful he isn't.
Albert finally stops his 'silent' treatment. "I will, if you take a bath."
"Oh alright." Poor Yuber, just cause he wants attention. "But after this, we – kill." Yuber starts to wash himself.
Albert kneels behind Yuber and scrubs his back.
Yuber jumps up, startled. "What the hell were you doing?!!"
Albert coolly replies, "Scrubbing your back."
"What for?" Yuber has the expression that he is about to bite Albert to bits.
"Because that's how it's done. Now sit down."
"I don't care! Don't you lay a finger on me!"
"Fine, then you scrub my back."
"Why should I?"
"So that you can get back to killing people."
"Damn, you're right." Having no option left, Yuber picks up the sponge and scrubs Albert's back.
A few minutes later. "You're pretty good at this, Yuber. You should work in a bathhouse, instead you're wasting your talent killing people."
"Damn you Silverberg. If it wasn't because I need to kill later, I wouldn't be entertaining you."
"Entertaining? Oh yes, maybe you should be a comedian instead." He pauses. "A little harder there, Yuber."
Yuber fumes in silence. He's suffering from the torment of Albert Silverberg. Have pity.
"Are you sure you don't want me to scrub your back?"
"If I can stop scrubbing your back, yes." Of course, Yuber had a lot more to say, but due to the explicit nature, we have edited it out.
"Very well." Albert finally gets to scrub Yuber's back. "You don't go out much, do you?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"You're as pale as death's skull."
Of course, that was a stupid question. D'uh. Yuber goes out a lot, since he has to kill every hour or so. On the other hand, he wears full body armor most of the time, so...
Yuber starts to say something, "..."
"Never mind, just get into the hot tub." Albert's real good... he doesn't give anyone a chance. Why stick to being the strategist? He could be the ruler of Harmonia!
The two get into the tub. Albert closes his eyes, and enjoys the hot water. The steam on his face feels good too.
After a long silence.
"You know," Yuber says, "This ain't half bad."
End of chapter one