Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, and probably never will. *sighs wistfully*
Warnings: Crossdressing... XD
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"Legolas, tell us a story." The golden-haired elf looked down at the small hobbits that sat around the fire.
"A story? What kind of story do you wish to hear?" he asked with a smile. Boromir and Gimli looked up with an interested air, but Aragorn just sat, smoking his pipe.
"A funny story!" exclaimed Pippin.
"Yes...a humorous story...we are in need of joy." said Frodo quietly.
"A humorous story..." Legolas sat, and thought for a few moments before a mischievous smile crossed his face. Aragorn eyed his Elven friend, raising an eyebrow. He had seen that smile way to many times in his past, and knew that it would cause nothing but trouble. "I have just the one." The smile grew to a grin, and Aragorn sent a silent prayer to the Valar that it wouldn't be about him.
Apparently the Valar were not listening.
"Let's see, it was not to long ago; well, for me it was not, but for you perhaps it was. Aragorn was around the age of nine, young, even by human standards..." Aragorn froze, his mind quickly coming up with all the embarrassing stories that centered around that age. The incident with the cook, the nudity issue, the time he found a bottle of wine and got drunk, which also resulted in finding out how babies were made, the highly unorthodox way. And then there was that time- Aragorn blanched.
"Legolas!" He shot a death glare at the elf, who smiled charmingly back. "You wouldn't dare." His voice was one that made brave men shrink back, and his foes shiver; yet it seemed not to have such an effect on Legolas, who let out a very un-princely giggle.
"I am not sure whether he had gotten in to a bottle of wine (it wouldn't be the first time, mind you) or if he was in that stage of life where he-" Legolas was cut off, for Aragorn had marched over, and slapped a hand over the elf's mouth. The hobbits jumped, Boromir stared, and Gimli wondered what had gotten into the ranger; Gandalf, however, could not hold back a chuckle. Legolas's eyes danced with amusement, as he reached up and used a surprisingly strong grip to wrench Aragorn's hand from his mouth.
"Now now Estel, that is hardly kind behavior. Certainly you would not wish to deprive the darling hobbits of a entertaining story?" He asked, putting on his most innocent face. Aragorn, being one of the few people who could resist the face (Although it was only for a short amount of time), glared stonily back.
"Tell them about getting drunk. Tell them about my first 'girlfriend.' Tell them about the time Elladan and Elrohir convinced me that telling people to 'get laid' was a complement." (Boromir snorted in amusement at this.) "But you will -not- tell them about that." Legolas pouted.
"Why not?"
"I have dignity you know."
"Could of surprised me." Legolas dodged a swipe to the head.
"I know several embarrassing stories from your childhood."
"You do not. You were not alive then."
"I will ask the twins."
"They are leagues away."
"I will hurt you."
"I am soooo scared." The rest of the Fellowship watched this in a sort of morbid fascination. The elf and man continued to bicker, Aragorn throwing out threats (decapitation, disembowelment, and several in elvish that caused Gandalf to snicker and Frodo to blush.), and Legolas countered them easily, looking like a child who had just done something amazingly clever. Finally Boromir cut into the childish bantering.
"Aragorn, really, let Legolas tell the story."
"Yeah!" Piped up Pippin. "Stop being so self centered." If looks could kill, Boromir and Pippin would be six feet under and eaten by worms by this point.
"I agree!" Said Legolas cheerfully. "Now, Aragorn has somehow gotten it into his mind that he was female, and refused to be called anything but Luella-" Aragorn dropped what dignity he had left, and lunged at the elf, but came in contact with nothing but air as the elf dodged. "He had spent most of the week wearing a most interesting dress that he had stolen from one of the cooks..." This time Aragorn was a bit faster, catching Legolas in his arms.
"We'll be right back." Said Aragorn in a sickly sweet tone, and wrenched the giggling elf around, pulling him into the darkness of the surrounding forest. All perked up their ears to listen, but the breeze brought back no sound, signaling that they had gone out of earshot.
The normal readers of this story imagine that Legolas is getting a stern talking to by an angry Ranger (Legolas still giggling like a thrilled child), and the slash fans are snickering to themselves, mind lost in the gutter, just like the authoress's...
But back to the rest of the Fellowship. Most of the members left at the camp site were quite unhappy that Legolas had been dragged away before the entire story could be told. One however, chuckled. All eyes went to Gandalf. The old wizard smiled, his eyes lit up by his pipe.
"I can continue the story, if you wish..."
Warnings: Crossdressing... XD
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"Legolas, tell us a story." The golden-haired elf looked down at the small hobbits that sat around the fire.
"A story? What kind of story do you wish to hear?" he asked with a smile. Boromir and Gimli looked up with an interested air, but Aragorn just sat, smoking his pipe.
"A funny story!" exclaimed Pippin.
"Yes...a humorous story...we are in need of joy." said Frodo quietly.
"A humorous story..." Legolas sat, and thought for a few moments before a mischievous smile crossed his face. Aragorn eyed his Elven friend, raising an eyebrow. He had seen that smile way to many times in his past, and knew that it would cause nothing but trouble. "I have just the one." The smile grew to a grin, and Aragorn sent a silent prayer to the Valar that it wouldn't be about him.
Apparently the Valar were not listening.
"Let's see, it was not to long ago; well, for me it was not, but for you perhaps it was. Aragorn was around the age of nine, young, even by human standards..." Aragorn froze, his mind quickly coming up with all the embarrassing stories that centered around that age. The incident with the cook, the nudity issue, the time he found a bottle of wine and got drunk, which also resulted in finding out how babies were made, the highly unorthodox way. And then there was that time- Aragorn blanched.
"Legolas!" He shot a death glare at the elf, who smiled charmingly back. "You wouldn't dare." His voice was one that made brave men shrink back, and his foes shiver; yet it seemed not to have such an effect on Legolas, who let out a very un-princely giggle.
"I am not sure whether he had gotten in to a bottle of wine (it wouldn't be the first time, mind you) or if he was in that stage of life where he-" Legolas was cut off, for Aragorn had marched over, and slapped a hand over the elf's mouth. The hobbits jumped, Boromir stared, and Gimli wondered what had gotten into the ranger; Gandalf, however, could not hold back a chuckle. Legolas's eyes danced with amusement, as he reached up and used a surprisingly strong grip to wrench Aragorn's hand from his mouth.
"Now now Estel, that is hardly kind behavior. Certainly you would not wish to deprive the darling hobbits of a entertaining story?" He asked, putting on his most innocent face. Aragorn, being one of the few people who could resist the face (Although it was only for a short amount of time), glared stonily back.
"Tell them about getting drunk. Tell them about my first 'girlfriend.' Tell them about the time Elladan and Elrohir convinced me that telling people to 'get laid' was a complement." (Boromir snorted in amusement at this.) "But you will -not- tell them about that." Legolas pouted.
"Why not?"
"I have dignity you know."
"Could of surprised me." Legolas dodged a swipe to the head.
"I know several embarrassing stories from your childhood."
"You do not. You were not alive then."
"I will ask the twins."
"They are leagues away."
"I will hurt you."
"I am soooo scared." The rest of the Fellowship watched this in a sort of morbid fascination. The elf and man continued to bicker, Aragorn throwing out threats (decapitation, disembowelment, and several in elvish that caused Gandalf to snicker and Frodo to blush.), and Legolas countered them easily, looking like a child who had just done something amazingly clever. Finally Boromir cut into the childish bantering.
"Aragorn, really, let Legolas tell the story."
"Yeah!" Piped up Pippin. "Stop being so self centered." If looks could kill, Boromir and Pippin would be six feet under and eaten by worms by this point.
"I agree!" Said Legolas cheerfully. "Now, Aragorn has somehow gotten it into his mind that he was female, and refused to be called anything but Luella-" Aragorn dropped what dignity he had left, and lunged at the elf, but came in contact with nothing but air as the elf dodged. "He had spent most of the week wearing a most interesting dress that he had stolen from one of the cooks..." This time Aragorn was a bit faster, catching Legolas in his arms.
"We'll be right back." Said Aragorn in a sickly sweet tone, and wrenched the giggling elf around, pulling him into the darkness of the surrounding forest. All perked up their ears to listen, but the breeze brought back no sound, signaling that they had gone out of earshot.
The normal readers of this story imagine that Legolas is getting a stern talking to by an angry Ranger (Legolas still giggling like a thrilled child), and the slash fans are snickering to themselves, mind lost in the gutter, just like the authoress's...
But back to the rest of the Fellowship. Most of the members left at the camp site were quite unhappy that Legolas had been dragged away before the entire story could be told. One however, chuckled. All eyes went to Gandalf. The old wizard smiled, his eyes lit up by his pipe.
"I can continue the story, if you wish..."