Chapter Four: Like A Stone

**I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go**

Rory's arms slid around Jess, trying to convince him to stay.

"I lied," she spoke quietly into his ear, her hot breath sending chills down his back.

"I don't hate you."

She rested her forehead against his collarbone, still kneeling in front of him.

"I never could. I haven't stopped loving you."

 She felt white-hot tears on his neck and wondered absently whether they were hers or his.

He pulled her towards him until their chests were nearly touching and gripped her hips gently but securely as she came closer. Her heart began to race and nervousness was taking over. Jess's stomach suddenly let out a low growl.

Rory stepped back.

"Are you hungry?"

Not giving Jess a chance to respond, she got up and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. Jess sighed before following her slowly. He could still feel her tears burning the fabric of his shirt. He touched the wet spot lightly, wondering why he always was the one to make her cry. He knew there was something he was doing wrong, mistakes that had already been made could not be taken back.

While he was following this train of thought Rory had been shuffling through the cabinets, pretending to look for something edible. Jess approached her slowly from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly against his chest. She let her head drop towards her chest and interlaced her fingers with his, placing her arms around his.

He held her momentarily, afraid to push her too far. He took a deep breath and let the intoxicating scent that was Rory cloud his judgment. His lips slowly descended upon her neck, his tongue flitting out, tasting her. Rory tensed and she quickly pulled away, flying across the room and hitting her back on the counter as she turned to face him.

"You shouldn't do that."

Her eyes were glazed, her face flushed, and lust tinged her words. She looked like she was about to fall into a puddle at his feet. He started to walk towards her, his eyes containing a fire she remembered all to well, but she protested.

"Jess, no. Stop."

He froze for a second, giving her a brief sense of relief.

"I love you, Rory Gilmore. You don't know what you do to me."

He started towards her again, and she could feel herself relenting. He placed each hand on either side of her on the counter, trapping her without touching her.

"Please."

Rory gasped.

"Please what?" He teased gently.

"Please stop? Please keep going? Please kiss me?"

She could feel tears pressing behind her eyelids. She couldn't let him do this to her again. But when he was so close she tended to forget exactly what was so bad about him doing this. A sob escaped her mouth as Jess's lips came slowly closer.

"Jess," she gasped as his lips touched hers, lightly at first.

He could taste her tears and was overwhelmed with a desire to make them stop. His lips pressed into hers; gentle but demanding. His tongue fought for passage and he moaned as he succeeded, her hot mouth surrounding his tongue, welcoming it, the taste of her skin engraved in his memory.

He pressed his entire body close to hers, hips to hips, and she let out another gasp as passion totally overwhelmed her. His hands took hold of her hips, lifting her so she was sitting on the counter, her back against the wall. He had to lean to reach her lips with his own.

He found the small sliver of exposed skin at the small of her back with his cold hands as her own framed his face, tracing the jaw line she remembered so well. Jess's hand made its way between her knees, separating them easily. He pulled her against him, her hips once again fitted to his. He could feel her heat. So close, only thin fabric separating them.

She gasped his name again as he ran his tongue up her throat. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and she pulled it up, over his head. He was surprised as it fell to the floor. She placed her cold hands on the hot flesh of his back, pulling him close again, biting his lips, crushing him, bruising his lips and heart with her angry brutality. He couldn't remember her ever being so close to him. Her lips found his shoulders, kissing the bare skin towards his neck as the hand that wasn't holding him close explored his abs.

Her tears had long since stopped as she was consumed by Jess's touch. By the feelings she got when they kissed. His hands fluttered in her hair and quickly up the back of her shirt, unhooking her bra. She didn't have time to process this before her shirt and bra joined his shirt on the floor and Jess's arms were wrapped around her, taking them into her room. He sat himself down on the bed, Rory in his lap. She pushed on his chest, sending him backwards as she kissed his abs, leading downwards, her tongue circling his belly-button. He let out a gasp at the sensation. Encouraged, she continued downward. Jess's eyes flew open and he grabbed her shoulders, pulling her lips to his.

He could taste tears again as their kisses slowed, and his hands restrained themselves to just her face and neck. It was as if she could see what was coming.

"Please don't go."

She sobbed into his chest. He didn't know how to reply. He didn't want to ruin the chance of having some semblance of a relationship, and he knew taking advantage of her like this was not the right thing to do.

"Rory, I'll be back tomorrow. Please, I just have to go."

She wasn't ready to let him go, and he let her hold on for a while before he stood. He went to the kitchen to collect his things and Rory didn't follow. He knew he'd done the right thing. But there was a tightness in his pants and an aching in his heart that were telling him to go back into her room and make love to her all night long.

Not yet.

He told himself over and over again as he walked the streets of Stars' Hollow that night.

She's not ready yet.