A/n: How guilty I feel... :Grins.: I'm 12, remember that. So, this should be a hard thing for me, right? WRONG!
Chapter two: Drunkards
WARNING. THE GENRE HAS CHANGED DUE TO EXTREME ROMANCE AND HUMOR. THANK YOU.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: PG 13 and R-Ish
Disclaimer: Jamie no own...
Malfoy's POV
I awoke to the sound of a high-pitch scream. Looking over at the door from where it came, I saw the redheaded Weasly bitch friend of Hermione's. Ginny. Damn my luck.
"Malfoy, let *go* of me." Granger growled, disrupting me from the thoughts I was about to think of disdain.
"Not until you make that poor excuse of a pureblood friend of yours swears she won't tell Potty or that dumbarse brother of hers." I snapped back, squeezing her hand so tightly I felt blood trail down her marble skin.
"Ginny! Please! Can you promise?" I heard Granger's desperate voice plead with her friend.
"I don't know, 'Mione..." The Weasly bitch said, a thoughtful look on her face, "This actually looks pretty amusing. Imagine what the kids would look like..."
"GINNY!" Hermione yelled.
"I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
I took this as a chance to annoy Granger even more. I playfully tugged at her hair with my left hand, a smirk on my lips as I felt the silk fly freely from my fingers... But why wasn't she fighting back? Pretty amusing, if you ask me.
~~~~~~~~
Narrator's POV
Hermione had given in to her torture and actually, in some sick and twisted way, found herself sort of enjoying it... Ginny found all of this amusing and pulled up a chair to watch.
"C'mon, 'Mione, am I all that bad?" Malfoy whispered into her ear.
"No- I mean yes!" Hermione half-argued. ( A/n: Is that even possible? )
"I got you there, Hermione!" His voice slurred when he'd said her name, though Hermione had to admit, she actually liked the way he said her name.
"You two look like you're enjoying yourselves." Ginny said, grinning.
*Please! Isn't that obvious?* Draco thought.
"Come to think of it, I won't tell anyone, but in my opinion, you two would be a *hot* couple." Ginny said before she left the room.
"Did you smell her breath?" Draco remarked, "She smelled like vodka."
"I know..." Hermione commented. "I think she won't remember this afterward..."
"Oh, you think?" Malfoy said, a sarcastic tone in his voice.
"Yes, I *do* think so, Malfoy. People who drink a lot of vodka usually don't remember anything they'd tone in that period of time because of *huge* hangovers." Hermione said, finally relaxing against Malfoy.
"Oh really? How do *you* know?" Malfoy asked, his voice still slurred.
"Because it's happened to me once." Hermione responded without thinking.
Malfoy laughed. "When, Hermione, did you get drunk?"
~Flashback~
Hermione swiped a glass of vodka from Ron and drank the whole thing down. Gulp, gulp. Could be the only sounds to describe that noise.
"So...Ron..." Hermione slurred. "Did Crookshanks see Peeves or whazz-" She collapsed to the floor and Ron proceeded to take pictures.
"Send in the Martians!" Harry shouted drunkenly.
"Make them slay Peeves!" Neville shouted as well.
Peeves arched an eyebrow at the drunken men and flew away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, yeah." Hermione said, blushing.
"I didn't know you had psoriasis..." Draco commented as if he hadn't heard a word she'd said and scratched the scaly part of her neck.
Hermione closed her eyes and began enjoying herself. Draco smirked and stopped scratching her neck. Hermione made a noise that sounded like a puppy dog whimpering.
"Draco-o..." Hermione whimpered.
"Only if I can kiss you," Draco said.
"F-fine..." Hermione stammered.
Draco released her hand and turned the girl around so that she was facing him. He smiled at her and then, when he was almost about to kiss her, another loud scream interrupted them, and Draco groaned inwardly.
"Goddamn it!" He cursed.
"Uh, Draco, I can't see who the person is..." Hermione said after a moment. Draco turned Hermione around.
"So, who's the person?"
"H-Harry..."
"Oh fucking hell!"
Both of them looked over at the door, staring at the drunken Harry.
"Wha!— Send in the McGonagalls-" He collapsed to the floor.
"I'm surprised he could even say one word right without fainting." Draco pointed to Potter making gurgling sounds.
"He must have skipped and gotten some butterbeer..."
"Hogsmade!" Hermione said happily.
Draco smirked. "You know, I can't believe you're still here. I'm not even holding you down..."
Hermione sighed, but didn't get up. "You're pretty confortable, you know."
"Oh really?" Draco began massaging her shoulders.
"Yeah..." Hermione said.
"Want to meet up in Hogsmade?" Draco asked while continuing to massage her shoulders.
"Sure, where at?"
"The Scream Shack." Draco said, grinning.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione sighed and walked towards the Scream Shack.
"Why is it so cold in November?" She stared at the sky as she walked straight into her tree. Not having her shoes on, she stubbed her toe.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!" Hermione shouted, holding her foot.
"I hate trees too, but now I see with you, hate's an understatement." A lazy voice drawled behind her.
"You can say that again..." Hermione said and glanced over her shoulder at Draco.
"You're late..." He whispered into her ear.
Hermione leaned back against him and whispered, "Blame the trees."
Draco smirked. "Shall we?" He pointed to the scream shack.
Hermione smirked a smirk she could rival to his any day and took his arm and allowed him to lead her.
"Baby boy, you're so damn fine. I wish to hell you were mine. I dream about you all the time..." Hermione sang, her voice no higher than a whisper. *You know,* She thought, *Maybe marrying Malfoy won't be so bad, after all...*
"Baby girl, you stay my mind all the time..." Draco sang into her ear.
Hermione smiled and walked into the Scream Shack with Draco.
~~~~~~~~~~
Walking out of the Scream Shack, Hermione looked around for Zonkos. "My sense of direction's off today." She said.
"Does it always happen when you don't sleep?" Draco asked, for some 'interesting' things had happened the night before. ( A/n: :Blushes.: Eh heh. _;; )
"Yeah, it does." Hermione said, scratching the back of her head.
"Sorry." Draco muttered.
"Don't be." Hermione said and smiled at him.
~~~~~~~~
"HU! Rok, whazzat yos see over dere?" Came the drunken voice of Harry.
"I t'ink Mazfoi and Hezmiofe."
The two drunkards headed for the wrong direction. ( A/n: Idiots. )
"HU ZUN!" Shouted Harry.
Draco and Hermione blinked. "What was that?"
"Probably that drunken friend of yours."
"Oh great..." Hermione muttered.
"Want to find 'em?" Draco asked with an arched eyebrow.
"I guess." Hermione said and began limping away. "SHIT!" She had stubbed her toe again.
"Want some help?" Draco asked, watching her jump up and down.
"Yeah, that's be a *big* help." Hermione said.
Draco walked over to help and lifted her bride-style and carried her towards Harry's voice.
"You know, it wouldn't be very good if anyone saw us..."
"Who'd remember, anyway? Everyone's drunk!" Draco said.
"Fine, fine," Hermione muttered. She sighed and continued worrying about anyone seeing them together and the person not being drunk.
"Draco, you never told me why Voldemort said we had to be married..."
"Well," Draco took a deep breath, "I wasn't told. I was ordered. He also had made me to other strange things lately... I think Voldemoer wants an heir, since he knows I wouldn't work for him ever."
Hermione nodded and kept silent as Draco continued walking towards Harry's voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Odd. I hate this chapter because of all the talking. There's barely action at all! ; Anyway, how was my attempt at humor? Did you laugh, or what? Review!
Chapter two: Drunkards
WARNING. THE GENRE HAS CHANGED DUE TO EXTREME ROMANCE AND HUMOR. THANK YOU.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: PG 13 and R-Ish
Disclaimer: Jamie no own...
Malfoy's POV
I awoke to the sound of a high-pitch scream. Looking over at the door from where it came, I saw the redheaded Weasly bitch friend of Hermione's. Ginny. Damn my luck.
"Malfoy, let *go* of me." Granger growled, disrupting me from the thoughts I was about to think of disdain.
"Not until you make that poor excuse of a pureblood friend of yours swears she won't tell Potty or that dumbarse brother of hers." I snapped back, squeezing her hand so tightly I felt blood trail down her marble skin.
"Ginny! Please! Can you promise?" I heard Granger's desperate voice plead with her friend.
"I don't know, 'Mione..." The Weasly bitch said, a thoughtful look on her face, "This actually looks pretty amusing. Imagine what the kids would look like..."
"GINNY!" Hermione yelled.
"I don't know, I'll have to think about it."
I took this as a chance to annoy Granger even more. I playfully tugged at her hair with my left hand, a smirk on my lips as I felt the silk fly freely from my fingers... But why wasn't she fighting back? Pretty amusing, if you ask me.
~~~~~~~~
Narrator's POV
Hermione had given in to her torture and actually, in some sick and twisted way, found herself sort of enjoying it... Ginny found all of this amusing and pulled up a chair to watch.
"C'mon, 'Mione, am I all that bad?" Malfoy whispered into her ear.
"No- I mean yes!" Hermione half-argued. ( A/n: Is that even possible? )
"I got you there, Hermione!" His voice slurred when he'd said her name, though Hermione had to admit, she actually liked the way he said her name.
"You two look like you're enjoying yourselves." Ginny said, grinning.
*Please! Isn't that obvious?* Draco thought.
"Come to think of it, I won't tell anyone, but in my opinion, you two would be a *hot* couple." Ginny said before she left the room.
"Did you smell her breath?" Draco remarked, "She smelled like vodka."
"I know..." Hermione commented. "I think she won't remember this afterward..."
"Oh, you think?" Malfoy said, a sarcastic tone in his voice.
"Yes, I *do* think so, Malfoy. People who drink a lot of vodka usually don't remember anything they'd tone in that period of time because of *huge* hangovers." Hermione said, finally relaxing against Malfoy.
"Oh really? How do *you* know?" Malfoy asked, his voice still slurred.
"Because it's happened to me once." Hermione responded without thinking.
Malfoy laughed. "When, Hermione, did you get drunk?"
~Flashback~
Hermione swiped a glass of vodka from Ron and drank the whole thing down. Gulp, gulp. Could be the only sounds to describe that noise.
"So...Ron..." Hermione slurred. "Did Crookshanks see Peeves or whazz-" She collapsed to the floor and Ron proceeded to take pictures.
"Send in the Martians!" Harry shouted drunkenly.
"Make them slay Peeves!" Neville shouted as well.
Peeves arched an eyebrow at the drunken men and flew away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, yeah." Hermione said, blushing.
"I didn't know you had psoriasis..." Draco commented as if he hadn't heard a word she'd said and scratched the scaly part of her neck.
Hermione closed her eyes and began enjoying herself. Draco smirked and stopped scratching her neck. Hermione made a noise that sounded like a puppy dog whimpering.
"Draco-o..." Hermione whimpered.
"Only if I can kiss you," Draco said.
"F-fine..." Hermione stammered.
Draco released her hand and turned the girl around so that she was facing him. He smiled at her and then, when he was almost about to kiss her, another loud scream interrupted them, and Draco groaned inwardly.
"Goddamn it!" He cursed.
"Uh, Draco, I can't see who the person is..." Hermione said after a moment. Draco turned Hermione around.
"So, who's the person?"
"H-Harry..."
"Oh fucking hell!"
Both of them looked over at the door, staring at the drunken Harry.
"Wha!— Send in the McGonagalls-" He collapsed to the floor.
"I'm surprised he could even say one word right without fainting." Draco pointed to Potter making gurgling sounds.
"He must have skipped and gotten some butterbeer..."
"Hogsmade!" Hermione said happily.
Draco smirked. "You know, I can't believe you're still here. I'm not even holding you down..."
Hermione sighed, but didn't get up. "You're pretty confortable, you know."
"Oh really?" Draco began massaging her shoulders.
"Yeah..." Hermione said.
"Want to meet up in Hogsmade?" Draco asked while continuing to massage her shoulders.
"Sure, where at?"
"The Scream Shack." Draco said, grinning.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione sighed and walked towards the Scream Shack.
"Why is it so cold in November?" She stared at the sky as she walked straight into her tree. Not having her shoes on, she stubbed her toe.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!" Hermione shouted, holding her foot.
"I hate trees too, but now I see with you, hate's an understatement." A lazy voice drawled behind her.
"You can say that again..." Hermione said and glanced over her shoulder at Draco.
"You're late..." He whispered into her ear.
Hermione leaned back against him and whispered, "Blame the trees."
Draco smirked. "Shall we?" He pointed to the scream shack.
Hermione smirked a smirk she could rival to his any day and took his arm and allowed him to lead her.
"Baby boy, you're so damn fine. I wish to hell you were mine. I dream about you all the time..." Hermione sang, her voice no higher than a whisper. *You know,* She thought, *Maybe marrying Malfoy won't be so bad, after all...*
"Baby girl, you stay my mind all the time..." Draco sang into her ear.
Hermione smiled and walked into the Scream Shack with Draco.
~~~~~~~~~~
Walking out of the Scream Shack, Hermione looked around for Zonkos. "My sense of direction's off today." She said.
"Does it always happen when you don't sleep?" Draco asked, for some 'interesting' things had happened the night before. ( A/n: :Blushes.: Eh heh. _;; )
"Yeah, it does." Hermione said, scratching the back of her head.
"Sorry." Draco muttered.
"Don't be." Hermione said and smiled at him.
~~~~~~~~
"HU! Rok, whazzat yos see over dere?" Came the drunken voice of Harry.
"I t'ink Mazfoi and Hezmiofe."
The two drunkards headed for the wrong direction. ( A/n: Idiots. )
"HU ZUN!" Shouted Harry.
Draco and Hermione blinked. "What was that?"
"Probably that drunken friend of yours."
"Oh great..." Hermione muttered.
"Want to find 'em?" Draco asked with an arched eyebrow.
"I guess." Hermione said and began limping away. "SHIT!" She had stubbed her toe again.
"Want some help?" Draco asked, watching her jump up and down.
"Yeah, that's be a *big* help." Hermione said.
Draco walked over to help and lifted her bride-style and carried her towards Harry's voice.
"You know, it wouldn't be very good if anyone saw us..."
"Who'd remember, anyway? Everyone's drunk!" Draco said.
"Fine, fine," Hermione muttered. She sighed and continued worrying about anyone seeing them together and the person not being drunk.
"Draco, you never told me why Voldemort said we had to be married..."
"Well," Draco took a deep breath, "I wasn't told. I was ordered. He also had made me to other strange things lately... I think Voldemoer wants an heir, since he knows I wouldn't work for him ever."
Hermione nodded and kept silent as Draco continued walking towards Harry's voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Odd. I hate this chapter because of all the talking. There's barely action at all! ; Anyway, how was my attempt at humor? Did you laugh, or what? Review!