Well Fuck.
Just how could this day be any worse?
It was normal when I woke up. Breakfast was okay. And the first half of lunch wasn't too bad either.
Then he showed up. It was just me and the girls eating lunch when he came up to the tree we were under. Asking if he could speak to Laura for a second. Alone.
I recognized her blushing, and even pushed her into going with him. I didn't know why my chest hurt at the time. Actually, I still wish I didn't know why. Everything was so much easier before I understood what was going on.
I should have known though. Kylie had been hinting it to me for the past few months and I never figured it out. It does explain why Travis has been such a jerk to me since Valentine's Day. It explains why it's so weird to watch her hug him and smile like that. It's because she'll never think of me that way.
I thought that people weren't suppose to have revelations like that until at least high school. It's one thing to have a crush on a movie star, or a cute boy at my age. But I'm pretty sure that I'm not suppose to feel this way about my best friend at all. Especially if she's a girl.
The rest of the day was spent trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I really didn't have crushes on anyone before this. It might have just been a mistake on my part. I might be mistaking friendship for something else.
Of course, I'm not attracted to guys. The more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes. And I'm not really attracted to girls either. Though sometimes I find myself comparing them to Laura. But I've been comparing everything to Laura lately. Either way I've been thinking about her way to much for it to be 'just' friendship.
The entire afternoon I was probably lost in thought. Even June asked if there was something wrong with me, and she overlooks everything most of the time.
When I got home, I asked my mother what she thought.
And she told me to forget about it. Not to bring it up in front of my father. Like that was going to work. Like it's some switch I can turn on and off on a whim.
I made it through dinner without bringing it up, but Mom was ignoring my glaring at her the entire time.
So diary, what do you think?
---
Still do not own Hamtaro. Curses. Rated R because of a curse word, and I don't like exposing people to concepts they won't like unless they're looking for it.
Assumptions are wonderful things. It is the writer's job to assume that you are assuming things, and smash those assumptions against the nearest wall.
Just how could this day be any worse?
It was normal when I woke up. Breakfast was okay. And the first half of lunch wasn't too bad either.
Then he showed up. It was just me and the girls eating lunch when he came up to the tree we were under. Asking if he could speak to Laura for a second. Alone.
I recognized her blushing, and even pushed her into going with him. I didn't know why my chest hurt at the time. Actually, I still wish I didn't know why. Everything was so much easier before I understood what was going on.
I should have known though. Kylie had been hinting it to me for the past few months and I never figured it out. It does explain why Travis has been such a jerk to me since Valentine's Day. It explains why it's so weird to watch her hug him and smile like that. It's because she'll never think of me that way.
I thought that people weren't suppose to have revelations like that until at least high school. It's one thing to have a crush on a movie star, or a cute boy at my age. But I'm pretty sure that I'm not suppose to feel this way about my best friend at all. Especially if she's a girl.
The rest of the day was spent trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I really didn't have crushes on anyone before this. It might have just been a mistake on my part. I might be mistaking friendship for something else.
Of course, I'm not attracted to guys. The more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes. And I'm not really attracted to girls either. Though sometimes I find myself comparing them to Laura. But I've been comparing everything to Laura lately. Either way I've been thinking about her way to much for it to be 'just' friendship.
The entire afternoon I was probably lost in thought. Even June asked if there was something wrong with me, and she overlooks everything most of the time.
When I got home, I asked my mother what she thought.
And she told me to forget about it. Not to bring it up in front of my father. Like that was going to work. Like it's some switch I can turn on and off on a whim.
I made it through dinner without bringing it up, but Mom was ignoring my glaring at her the entire time.
So diary, what do you think?
---
Still do not own Hamtaro. Curses. Rated R because of a curse word, and I don't like exposing people to concepts they won't like unless they're looking for it.
Assumptions are wonderful things. It is the writer's job to assume that you are assuming things, and smash those assumptions against the nearest wall.