What a friend should be
A/n: THANK YOU!!! All those who read and reviewed!! *Choc frogs* for all of
you!!!
Oh and suffixchick123: Thanks sooo much for your review. I should have cleared that up before, there is a lot of stuff you haven't found yet. Lily isn't just over her parents, yet. The fight in the tunnel will have significance in this chappie! Thanks for your criticism (I hope it was meant to help me write better.and I hope I did!) Like I said, I really appreciate your review and realize that it might have caused confusion! At the end of the chapter I'll clear up any misconceptions!
On with chapter 14:
Suddenly they heard a high-pitched scream.(from last chapter)
The group rushed outside to see a horrific site. A ring of Death Eaters had encircled Lily and James, leaving them no way out and the group no way to rescue them. Melanie gasped and looked at the others. Remus looked shocked as did Lila, but for some reason or the other, Sirius looked studious. Almost as if he knew nothing was going to happen to the two in peril.
(In the ring.aka between James and Lily)
"Oh my god, oh my god." Lily repeatedly whispered to herself. "How am I going to get out of here???"
"Lily, I've got an idea. But I'm going to be very quiet so listen up, we don't have much time!" James whispered.
Lily nodded and James went on. "On the count of three get your wand out! 1. 2.3!"
Lily and James pulled out their wands and faced the on coming death eaters.
Some of the death eaters looked surprised but one of them laughed, making Lily get mad.
"Who do they think they are? I could take them any day!" Lily fumed.
"This isn't a time to get mad, Evans. It's a time when mind is needed so listen up." James said. "I have my invisibility cloak with me!"
Lily gasped, "What?"
"Yes, and with my signal, we're going to go under it.but all we need is a distraction.." James continued. He looked around to see Sirius standing off in a side. He yelled really loudly, "PADFOOT! YELLOW ALERT!"
Sirius heard him and grinned. Even with dealing with death eaters, no one could create a better distraction than Sirius Black.
The death eaters looked confused at this sudden yell, but didn't think anything of it. Until they heard a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
They looked around to see a huge flame ball rushing at them. They screamed and ducked only to find that more and more flame balls were coming at them. The death eaters temporarily forgot about the two, giving them enough time to get under the invisibility cloak. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the flame balls stopped. The death eaters looked up at one another and shrugged. Sirius had shrunk back over to where the others were standing and by now, the street was being crowded by muggles.
All of a sudden, one of the death eaters let out a strangled yell. The other death eaters looked at what he was pointing to and got angry. Their hostages were GONE. Seeing this, and realizing their plan wasn't working they all stormed into an alley and disapparated leaving a crowd of muggles, looking very shocked.
Sirius took the group back inside and back to their seats. They finished up their sandwiches and drinks and headed to Lily's house. They got to the front door only to hear loud arguing coming from the inside. Melanie and Lila let out sighs of relief and Remus and Sirius grinned knowingly. They rang the doorbell, but the two inside didn't seem to hear it.
"Potter, you are a brat! You always think you are above everyone!" Lily was screaming.
"No I don't Evans. Some people aren't worth the argument!" James yelled back at her.
"So the whole thing with Snape last ye..." Lily was shouting when James interrupted.
"LEAVE SNAPE OUT OF THIS! He isn't worthy enough to be mentioned!"
Sirius and Lila managed to get in through an open window and let Remus and Melanie in through the door. The huddled into the living room to watch Lily and James fight.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily was screeching.
"It means that he has no sole purpose in life! He doesn't deserve anything!" James yelled.
"He is a person you know! He has feelings!"
"I doubt anyone like that git has feelings!"
"So anyone who isn't friends with you or part of your fan club is automatically a git without feelings??"
"Yes!" As soon as James said it, he regretted it. Lily looked on the verge of tears.
"I hate you James Potter." She whispered before running up to her room.
Everyone was frozen. James slumped into a chair. He put his hands over his face and let out a small groan.
All the others had left the living room to go into the kitchen to discuss what had happened.
"Did he really say what I think he said?" Lila was whispering.
"Yes." Sirius replied. "He just admitted to dissing his own best friend.or ex best friend."
Remus let out a sigh. "I just wish everyone could be friends. I don't mean to say that what James did was right, or that Lily doesn't have a right to be mad, I just can't stand having to be the in between."
"Ugh. what do we do now?" Melanie said.
"I say we just wait it out..or go out and let our two friends sort it out." Sirius suggested.
"I go for going out and giving them time to sort it out.but if we come back and they have strangled each other to death, I'm telling Dumbledore it was all your fault." Lila said heading out the door.
(James)
James grabbed his broom from outside the window and jumped on it. Since it was only mid afternoon he also grabbed his invisibility cloak. He flew over to his house, and went right next to his window. It was unlocked much to his surprise and he climbed in. He knew exactly what he was looking for. He went to his dresser and not having any light wasn't helping. He tripped on something on his floor and managed to tear his pants by the ankles.
He finally reached his dresser. He pulled open the last drawer and began to throw stuff out of it and onto the already messy room. He at last found what he was searching for, a big red leather book. He looked at it long and hard almost as if making a very important decision, and then softly spoke aloud, "Its now or never."
He grabbed his broomstick and headed out the door again. This time, however, he didn't head for the living room; instead he went up towards the third floor. He went to the window closest to his house. He peeped inside to see Lily crying on her floor. He immediately felt a wave of guilt wash him over. Without making a sound he gently opened the window and let himself in.
(Lily)
She ran upstairs to her bedroom and locked it with an ordinary muggle lock. She slid down the door in tears and fell to the floor. She put her head down and sobbed freely.
James didn't know what it felt like. How many times she had gone through this. Pain and suffering. Especially yesterday. Everyone thought.that she was trying to get on with her life. In truth Lily didn't know what she was feeling. It was a mix of shock, immeasurable sadness, and a loneliness and emptiness like never before.
Half of her was still not believing a word of what had happened in the last two weeks. She felt as if her parents were on some vacation and they'd be home any minute and start yelling at her for being out of school and having friends over without permission.
Her other side kept going over the fact that she had lost all dear to her. First James, then her parents, and then Petunia. She missed them. All of them. She missed Petunia's way of helping her when she needed it, she missed her parents' way of supporting her, and most of all Lily missed her best friend. The one person in this world who could read her like a book, well used to be able to.
She let the tears flow out of her eyes. Suddenly she heard a creak as the window opened to let in a cold gust of wind. She saw James climb in and her heart jumped. Then she remembered that she and James weren't talking.
"What do you want James?" She whispered. It was soft, barely audible, but he seemed to have heard it.
He walked over to where she was sitting and sat down beside her. He pulled out a red book and began to talk.
"Lily, I'm so sorry. I want you to know how sorry I am."
"James, I can't forgive you for what you did." Lily said.
"Can I still try?" James sounded pleading. Lily nodded and James opened the book. Lily gasped, it was a photo album.
She looked at James who nodded.
"Lily. After.er.letting you go. I missed you. The only way I could ever let my feelings out was this album. It was the only thing I had of you." James said blushing a little.
Lily smiled sadly. Did James really miss her? Then why did he do the things he did in the first place? She had a thousand questions in her head that she longed to ask, but it wasn't the right time to ask them. She tuned into what James was saying.
"And this at my ninth birthday at the zoo. Remember the giant sloth?" James said with a grin.
"And the elephant which I soo wanted to ride!" Lily giggled.
"Yeah, and Mum and Dad got so mad at us for running off to see if we could let the camels escape!" James laughed.
They went through the photo album. By the end of the book James was crying too. Lily realized how stupid they must've looked at started laughing.
"I missed you Lemon." James said smiling.
"I missed you too." Lily said.
He gave her an awkward hug. "Does this mean you forgive me?" He asked looking hopeful.
Lily laughed, "Don't get your hopes up."
James mocked being hurt, "Lily! I did everything you asked me too..I gave you back all the time we spent together!"
Lily looked shocked. He had! "B-B-but..." Lily stuttered.
James looked gloomy. "Lily, I know you can never forgive me fully for what I did, but I want a second chance."
Lily was shocked. She didn't know what to say.
"Wait.James, before I decide anything I need answers from you."
James nodded but then was distracted by the doorbell ringing. "Can we continue this at school?"
Lily agreed and he went downstairs to open the door for the others. Lily climbed onto her bed and pulled out James' diary and began to read it.
~*~*~*~*~*
(Downstairs)
"Oh thank god Jamsie! You're alive!" Sirius said with a grin.
James looked half amused half annoyed. "Why wouldn't I be Padfoot? And don't call me Jamsie!"
Remus grinned and the entire group walked in.
"Where have you all been?" James demanded.
"Relax James. We were just getting groceries for dinner." Lila answered.
"Oh. Okay." James said.
"What have you been up to?" was Melanie's reply.
"Oh nothing just this and that." James said.
"We're just glad you and Lily didn't kill each other." Remus said looking relieved.
"Why would we do something like that?" James retorted.
"Oh never mind." Was Sirius's response.
"What are we having for dinner?" James tried changing the subject.
"Oh we were thinking, hmm why not do spaghetti and meatballs?" Lila answered. "it was simple and good to eat."
"And besides," Sirius whispered to James, "It's the only thing we could agree on."
James grinned knowingly.
Lila and Melanie took their stuff into the kitchen to cook and the boys went into the living room to enjoy some television.
Lily came down looking red eyed before dinner. Lila and Melanie thought nothing of it as they guessed with so much happening Lily needed some alone time.
Lily was grateful that her friends had made dinner. "MMM! Who made the meatballs?" Lily said taking a bite.
"I did!" Lila said smiling proudly.
"They're from a recipe of mine. But be careful, they are spicy."
Sirius jumped from his seat and hugged both Lila and Melanie who looked startled.
"If the house elves ever quit their jobs, I'm going to ask Dumbledore to hire you two!" Sirius said. "This is the best spaghetti and meatballs I have ever eaten!"
Melanie blushed while Lila looked pleased. "Glad you like it."
Dinner went by uneventfully, well except for the fact that the dungbombs Sirius had hidden under the table accidentally went off and caused dinner to end quickly. Sirius was forced to clean up the mess, while the rest headed for bed. Lila, Melanie, and Remus were soon fast asleep. Lily had requested that James come to her room, so they could talk, and Sirius was still cleaning up.
Once in Lily's room. James took a seat on the bed and Lily on the couch across from him.
"So." James began.
"You never told me about your father." Lily blurted out.
"What?" James looked astonished.
"Umm."Lily blushed, "You never told me about how everything was going so bad for you."
"Oh." was James' answer. "It..I.I didn't want you to feel burdened. And the fact that we.we.weren't exactly on speaking terms didn't help either."
Lily reddened more. "Oh, of course."
James nodded, "What did you want me to tell you?"
Lily sighed, "James.does he really."
James nodded. "Yeah, what can I say? My father is a jerk. I'm never good enough for him."
Lily looked deep in thought. "Has.has..he ever hurt you after.?"
James shook his head, "It was only once. He had an awful day at work, and he had found out I wasn't doing up to standard. He went out and got drunk. He never drinks." "Oh I'm so sorry!" Lily whispered.
James shook his head again, "Its not your fault. Is there anything else?"
Lily nodded, "Ummm two more questions."
James told her to continue. " Why did you..you know..leave me?"
James hung his head. "I'm not proud of it. And you should've seen Sirius's face when I told him. He was so mad at me for it. But I'm guessing Remus already knew?"
Lily nodded and James went on, " I had a..a..choice. It was to stay as I was, or become popular. I was twelve and nothing looked better to me than the dream of being most popular and sought after guy in school. It was as if, something inside me possessed me and I had to have that title. And actually, the day after the.incident, I..locked myself up and wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even Sirius. Heck at first I thought Sirius was annoying. Well not really, but he wasn't you. You know what I mean?"
"Yes, James I do."
"Well anyways, after third year, I guess, I began feeling guiltier and guiltier. And my parents weren't helping. The only people who were making a positive impact on my life were my friends. But half of them? They were fake. They weren't there because they liked me, they were there because they too had a dream, to be popular. If I could ever have that choice again Lily, I'd never take the one to be popular. Even Sirius, Remus, and Peter like me because I'm me. And if I hadn't been popular, they'd still stick by me. And I'd still have you." He finished in a whisper.
Lily longed to run and give him a hug. She knew she couldn't, but her heart was telling her otherwise. She was confused but she felt her feet listening to her heart and she walked over to where James was sitting silently, looking down. She could see tears in his eyes. She sat down on the bed besides him and put a comforting arm around him.
"I-I-I never told anyone this," James said softly, "But since the day you walked out of my life, I have been lonely."
"James can you answer one more question for me?" Lily asked, looking straight into his eyes.
"James, where is that unicorn?" Lily said with a smile.
James smiled and wiped away his tears. "Its still there. It misses you."
"Its getting late, I-I'll talk to you tomorrow James." Lily said getting up.
James nodded and headed out the door, "Good night Lily."
" 'Night James." Was Lily's reply. She shut the door behind him and climbed into bed. She tried closing her eyes but sleep wouldn't come to her. Her head was full of mixed emotions.
~*~*~*~*~*
Lila climbed out of bed. It was 3:15 in the morning and she couldn't sleep. She walked downstairs to the kitchen and was surprised to see someone else there.
"Hi, didn't expect anyone else to be up." She said with a smile.
"Me neither."
"I couldn't sleep. You?" She asked.
"Same. Why couldn't you sleep?"
"Awful dream." She said. "You wouldn't understand."
"Really?" he said. "Try me."
Lila started explaining with all the details she could remember about her dream.
"And then, the lady came towards me and picked up this toddler who looked just like me!"
His eyes widened. "D-D-Did you say this boy had black hair and big blue eyes?"
Lila nodded yawning. "Yeah, he looked quite like you to be honest."
His eyes went even wider. "And you say this woman called the man Jeff?"
"What're are you trying to say Sirius?" Lila said confused.
"Lila, you just dreamt of the night my father died."
Dun-dun-dun!!! I'm confused.should Lily forgive him or not? What do you think? Review and let me know!! I also redid the first chapter and hopefully you can read it better now! R/R!! please??
| |
V right there!!!
Oh and suffixchick123: Thanks sooo much for your review. I should have cleared that up before, there is a lot of stuff you haven't found yet. Lily isn't just over her parents, yet. The fight in the tunnel will have significance in this chappie! Thanks for your criticism (I hope it was meant to help me write better.and I hope I did!) Like I said, I really appreciate your review and realize that it might have caused confusion! At the end of the chapter I'll clear up any misconceptions!
On with chapter 14:
Suddenly they heard a high-pitched scream.(from last chapter)
The group rushed outside to see a horrific site. A ring of Death Eaters had encircled Lily and James, leaving them no way out and the group no way to rescue them. Melanie gasped and looked at the others. Remus looked shocked as did Lila, but for some reason or the other, Sirius looked studious. Almost as if he knew nothing was going to happen to the two in peril.
(In the ring.aka between James and Lily)
"Oh my god, oh my god." Lily repeatedly whispered to herself. "How am I going to get out of here???"
"Lily, I've got an idea. But I'm going to be very quiet so listen up, we don't have much time!" James whispered.
Lily nodded and James went on. "On the count of three get your wand out! 1. 2.3!"
Lily and James pulled out their wands and faced the on coming death eaters.
Some of the death eaters looked surprised but one of them laughed, making Lily get mad.
"Who do they think they are? I could take them any day!" Lily fumed.
"This isn't a time to get mad, Evans. It's a time when mind is needed so listen up." James said. "I have my invisibility cloak with me!"
Lily gasped, "What?"
"Yes, and with my signal, we're going to go under it.but all we need is a distraction.." James continued. He looked around to see Sirius standing off in a side. He yelled really loudly, "PADFOOT! YELLOW ALERT!"
Sirius heard him and grinned. Even with dealing with death eaters, no one could create a better distraction than Sirius Black.
The death eaters looked confused at this sudden yell, but didn't think anything of it. Until they heard a BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
They looked around to see a huge flame ball rushing at them. They screamed and ducked only to find that more and more flame balls were coming at them. The death eaters temporarily forgot about the two, giving them enough time to get under the invisibility cloak. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the flame balls stopped. The death eaters looked up at one another and shrugged. Sirius had shrunk back over to where the others were standing and by now, the street was being crowded by muggles.
All of a sudden, one of the death eaters let out a strangled yell. The other death eaters looked at what he was pointing to and got angry. Their hostages were GONE. Seeing this, and realizing their plan wasn't working they all stormed into an alley and disapparated leaving a crowd of muggles, looking very shocked.
Sirius took the group back inside and back to their seats. They finished up their sandwiches and drinks and headed to Lily's house. They got to the front door only to hear loud arguing coming from the inside. Melanie and Lila let out sighs of relief and Remus and Sirius grinned knowingly. They rang the doorbell, but the two inside didn't seem to hear it.
"Potter, you are a brat! You always think you are above everyone!" Lily was screaming.
"No I don't Evans. Some people aren't worth the argument!" James yelled back at her.
"So the whole thing with Snape last ye..." Lily was shouting when James interrupted.
"LEAVE SNAPE OUT OF THIS! He isn't worthy enough to be mentioned!"
Sirius and Lila managed to get in through an open window and let Remus and Melanie in through the door. The huddled into the living room to watch Lily and James fight.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily was screeching.
"It means that he has no sole purpose in life! He doesn't deserve anything!" James yelled.
"He is a person you know! He has feelings!"
"I doubt anyone like that git has feelings!"
"So anyone who isn't friends with you or part of your fan club is automatically a git without feelings??"
"Yes!" As soon as James said it, he regretted it. Lily looked on the verge of tears.
"I hate you James Potter." She whispered before running up to her room.
Everyone was frozen. James slumped into a chair. He put his hands over his face and let out a small groan.
All the others had left the living room to go into the kitchen to discuss what had happened.
"Did he really say what I think he said?" Lila was whispering.
"Yes." Sirius replied. "He just admitted to dissing his own best friend.or ex best friend."
Remus let out a sigh. "I just wish everyone could be friends. I don't mean to say that what James did was right, or that Lily doesn't have a right to be mad, I just can't stand having to be the in between."
"Ugh. what do we do now?" Melanie said.
"I say we just wait it out..or go out and let our two friends sort it out." Sirius suggested.
"I go for going out and giving them time to sort it out.but if we come back and they have strangled each other to death, I'm telling Dumbledore it was all your fault." Lila said heading out the door.
(James)
James grabbed his broom from outside the window and jumped on it. Since it was only mid afternoon he also grabbed his invisibility cloak. He flew over to his house, and went right next to his window. It was unlocked much to his surprise and he climbed in. He knew exactly what he was looking for. He went to his dresser and not having any light wasn't helping. He tripped on something on his floor and managed to tear his pants by the ankles.
He finally reached his dresser. He pulled open the last drawer and began to throw stuff out of it and onto the already messy room. He at last found what he was searching for, a big red leather book. He looked at it long and hard almost as if making a very important decision, and then softly spoke aloud, "Its now or never."
He grabbed his broomstick and headed out the door again. This time, however, he didn't head for the living room; instead he went up towards the third floor. He went to the window closest to his house. He peeped inside to see Lily crying on her floor. He immediately felt a wave of guilt wash him over. Without making a sound he gently opened the window and let himself in.
(Lily)
She ran upstairs to her bedroom and locked it with an ordinary muggle lock. She slid down the door in tears and fell to the floor. She put her head down and sobbed freely.
James didn't know what it felt like. How many times she had gone through this. Pain and suffering. Especially yesterday. Everyone thought.that she was trying to get on with her life. In truth Lily didn't know what she was feeling. It was a mix of shock, immeasurable sadness, and a loneliness and emptiness like never before.
Half of her was still not believing a word of what had happened in the last two weeks. She felt as if her parents were on some vacation and they'd be home any minute and start yelling at her for being out of school and having friends over without permission.
Her other side kept going over the fact that she had lost all dear to her. First James, then her parents, and then Petunia. She missed them. All of them. She missed Petunia's way of helping her when she needed it, she missed her parents' way of supporting her, and most of all Lily missed her best friend. The one person in this world who could read her like a book, well used to be able to.
She let the tears flow out of her eyes. Suddenly she heard a creak as the window opened to let in a cold gust of wind. She saw James climb in and her heart jumped. Then she remembered that she and James weren't talking.
"What do you want James?" She whispered. It was soft, barely audible, but he seemed to have heard it.
He walked over to where she was sitting and sat down beside her. He pulled out a red book and began to talk.
"Lily, I'm so sorry. I want you to know how sorry I am."
"James, I can't forgive you for what you did." Lily said.
"Can I still try?" James sounded pleading. Lily nodded and James opened the book. Lily gasped, it was a photo album.
She looked at James who nodded.
"Lily. After.er.letting you go. I missed you. The only way I could ever let my feelings out was this album. It was the only thing I had of you." James said blushing a little.
Lily smiled sadly. Did James really miss her? Then why did he do the things he did in the first place? She had a thousand questions in her head that she longed to ask, but it wasn't the right time to ask them. She tuned into what James was saying.
"And this at my ninth birthday at the zoo. Remember the giant sloth?" James said with a grin.
"And the elephant which I soo wanted to ride!" Lily giggled.
"Yeah, and Mum and Dad got so mad at us for running off to see if we could let the camels escape!" James laughed.
They went through the photo album. By the end of the book James was crying too. Lily realized how stupid they must've looked at started laughing.
"I missed you Lemon." James said smiling.
"I missed you too." Lily said.
He gave her an awkward hug. "Does this mean you forgive me?" He asked looking hopeful.
Lily laughed, "Don't get your hopes up."
James mocked being hurt, "Lily! I did everything you asked me too..I gave you back all the time we spent together!"
Lily looked shocked. He had! "B-B-but..." Lily stuttered.
James looked gloomy. "Lily, I know you can never forgive me fully for what I did, but I want a second chance."
Lily was shocked. She didn't know what to say.
"Wait.James, before I decide anything I need answers from you."
James nodded but then was distracted by the doorbell ringing. "Can we continue this at school?"
Lily agreed and he went downstairs to open the door for the others. Lily climbed onto her bed and pulled out James' diary and began to read it.
~*~*~*~*~*
(Downstairs)
"Oh thank god Jamsie! You're alive!" Sirius said with a grin.
James looked half amused half annoyed. "Why wouldn't I be Padfoot? And don't call me Jamsie!"
Remus grinned and the entire group walked in.
"Where have you all been?" James demanded.
"Relax James. We were just getting groceries for dinner." Lila answered.
"Oh. Okay." James said.
"What have you been up to?" was Melanie's reply.
"Oh nothing just this and that." James said.
"We're just glad you and Lily didn't kill each other." Remus said looking relieved.
"Why would we do something like that?" James retorted.
"Oh never mind." Was Sirius's response.
"What are we having for dinner?" James tried changing the subject.
"Oh we were thinking, hmm why not do spaghetti and meatballs?" Lila answered. "it was simple and good to eat."
"And besides," Sirius whispered to James, "It's the only thing we could agree on."
James grinned knowingly.
Lila and Melanie took their stuff into the kitchen to cook and the boys went into the living room to enjoy some television.
Lily came down looking red eyed before dinner. Lila and Melanie thought nothing of it as they guessed with so much happening Lily needed some alone time.
Lily was grateful that her friends had made dinner. "MMM! Who made the meatballs?" Lily said taking a bite.
"I did!" Lila said smiling proudly.
"They're from a recipe of mine. But be careful, they are spicy."
Sirius jumped from his seat and hugged both Lila and Melanie who looked startled.
"If the house elves ever quit their jobs, I'm going to ask Dumbledore to hire you two!" Sirius said. "This is the best spaghetti and meatballs I have ever eaten!"
Melanie blushed while Lila looked pleased. "Glad you like it."
Dinner went by uneventfully, well except for the fact that the dungbombs Sirius had hidden under the table accidentally went off and caused dinner to end quickly. Sirius was forced to clean up the mess, while the rest headed for bed. Lila, Melanie, and Remus were soon fast asleep. Lily had requested that James come to her room, so they could talk, and Sirius was still cleaning up.
Once in Lily's room. James took a seat on the bed and Lily on the couch across from him.
"So." James began.
"You never told me about your father." Lily blurted out.
"What?" James looked astonished.
"Umm."Lily blushed, "You never told me about how everything was going so bad for you."
"Oh." was James' answer. "It..I.I didn't want you to feel burdened. And the fact that we.we.weren't exactly on speaking terms didn't help either."
Lily reddened more. "Oh, of course."
James nodded, "What did you want me to tell you?"
Lily sighed, "James.does he really."
James nodded. "Yeah, what can I say? My father is a jerk. I'm never good enough for him."
Lily looked deep in thought. "Has.has..he ever hurt you after.?"
James shook his head, "It was only once. He had an awful day at work, and he had found out I wasn't doing up to standard. He went out and got drunk. He never drinks." "Oh I'm so sorry!" Lily whispered.
James shook his head again, "Its not your fault. Is there anything else?"
Lily nodded, "Ummm two more questions."
James told her to continue. " Why did you..you know..leave me?"
James hung his head. "I'm not proud of it. And you should've seen Sirius's face when I told him. He was so mad at me for it. But I'm guessing Remus already knew?"
Lily nodded and James went on, " I had a..a..choice. It was to stay as I was, or become popular. I was twelve and nothing looked better to me than the dream of being most popular and sought after guy in school. It was as if, something inside me possessed me and I had to have that title. And actually, the day after the.incident, I..locked myself up and wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even Sirius. Heck at first I thought Sirius was annoying. Well not really, but he wasn't you. You know what I mean?"
"Yes, James I do."
"Well anyways, after third year, I guess, I began feeling guiltier and guiltier. And my parents weren't helping. The only people who were making a positive impact on my life were my friends. But half of them? They were fake. They weren't there because they liked me, they were there because they too had a dream, to be popular. If I could ever have that choice again Lily, I'd never take the one to be popular. Even Sirius, Remus, and Peter like me because I'm me. And if I hadn't been popular, they'd still stick by me. And I'd still have you." He finished in a whisper.
Lily longed to run and give him a hug. She knew she couldn't, but her heart was telling her otherwise. She was confused but she felt her feet listening to her heart and she walked over to where James was sitting silently, looking down. She could see tears in his eyes. She sat down on the bed besides him and put a comforting arm around him.
"I-I-I never told anyone this," James said softly, "But since the day you walked out of my life, I have been lonely."
"James can you answer one more question for me?" Lily asked, looking straight into his eyes.
"James, where is that unicorn?" Lily said with a smile.
James smiled and wiped away his tears. "Its still there. It misses you."
"Its getting late, I-I'll talk to you tomorrow James." Lily said getting up.
James nodded and headed out the door, "Good night Lily."
" 'Night James." Was Lily's reply. She shut the door behind him and climbed into bed. She tried closing her eyes but sleep wouldn't come to her. Her head was full of mixed emotions.
~*~*~*~*~*
Lila climbed out of bed. It was 3:15 in the morning and she couldn't sleep. She walked downstairs to the kitchen and was surprised to see someone else there.
"Hi, didn't expect anyone else to be up." She said with a smile.
"Me neither."
"I couldn't sleep. You?" She asked.
"Same. Why couldn't you sleep?"
"Awful dream." She said. "You wouldn't understand."
"Really?" he said. "Try me."
Lila started explaining with all the details she could remember about her dream.
"And then, the lady came towards me and picked up this toddler who looked just like me!"
His eyes widened. "D-D-Did you say this boy had black hair and big blue eyes?"
Lila nodded yawning. "Yeah, he looked quite like you to be honest."
His eyes went even wider. "And you say this woman called the man Jeff?"
"What're are you trying to say Sirius?" Lila said confused.
"Lila, you just dreamt of the night my father died."
Dun-dun-dun!!! I'm confused.should Lily forgive him or not? What do you think? Review and let me know!! I also redid the first chapter and hopefully you can read it better now! R/R!! please??
| |
V right there!!!