** Disclaimer: I only own Zana****************
WARNING:THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, SO DON'T STOP READING!!! : ) I plan to go on with some new chapters, things are not fixed yet! : ) I love this song I've put here, I think it's perfect for this chapter , and I hope you all will like it!
**************** *************** ******************
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass
Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
- Into the west - Annie Lennox
When I opened my eyes I noticed it was early in the morning. It was difficult, in the Antarctica, to distinguish between day and night.. a soft permanent light remained in the horizon, making the huge icebergs shine over the grey ocean. This was what I saw when I walked outside, breathing the frozen air. To my big surprise, I was bearing cold perfectly, covered with the warm blankets. But I also suspected that I was having some help, although I didn't know from whom did it come. It was impossible that two humans like Romih and I had survived more than ten minutes without any kind of protection in that icy desert.
I was finally there.. and I still couldn't believe it. I felt as if the journey had ended but, at the same time, as if it had just began. I liked the feeling, but it also scared me.. what kind of second journey was I about to begin? Probably the journey back home. I remembered Gandalf's words. Things would be changed when I arrived there. People I knew, places where I lived.. maybe I would find a new whole world, and I couldn't help fearing that.
I walked towards the border of the ice ground, where the deep ocean moved slowly. I had always dreamed about that.. about being there, in the South Pole.. I had dreamed about many things that had come true. Amazingly, my actions had changed parts of the past.. just a simple person among millions, someone like me. That made me think.. any person can change everything, you just have to try. This was the lesson I had learned after the whole mission. Never give up, you can change things. I hoped to be so optimistic once I went back to my time.
"You're an early person" I turned around and met Legolas, who was smiling.
"I'm a bit nervous, I suppose.. I have a feeling.." I replied, looking in the distance. Legolas walked towards me, and waited by my side.
"Mission worries you?" I nodded, and then walked some metres. Maybe I was becoming crazy, but I was sure that I had seen a green light in the ice. "What's wrong, Zana?" I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Nothing.." I lied. His blue eyes were shining in a strange way.. maybe it was because of the ice, its white light. We stared at each other for a moment, when we heard the rest of the group waking up.
"Good morning!" Romih shouted at us, followed by Amundsen. They both left the shelter, their eyes half closed. A soft cold wind moved their coats.
"Breakfast will be done in no time" Sang Admunsen happily. I smiled. After all, that man would become so famous all around the world, he obviously wanted to celebrate that. After some minutes of silence, Romih offered me a cup of hot tea. I accepted it at once.
"How are you feeling, Zana?" He asked, once we were a bit apart from the group.
"I don't know.. everything is so.. confusing, so.." I shrugged, unable to find the proper words. I looked at him. "And what about you? This experience must be a shock.." He put a face as a reply, a childish face.
"If I'm sincere to you.. this is the most exciting thing I've ever experienced.. after this event, my life won't be the same.. nobody will believe me.." He drank a bit of tea, and something came to my head all from the sudden.
"Are you aware of something?" He looked at me with curiosity.
"Of what?"
"Maybe you shouldn't care about people who won't believe you.. because probably you won't return to your time.." I didn't notice any change on his face, he just nodded.
"I know.. and I came anyway, right? I want to know what Destiny prepared for me.. and I'm so happy to be here.. far away from the corrupt people who were rounding me lately.."
"I'm sorry about your sister." I murmured, but he smiled.
"Lets forget about it" He whispered. When I looked at the shelter, I saw Legolas sitting on a bag, his blue eyes fixed on us. His hair was long again, and I couldn't explain that amazing phenomenon. All the things we had lived together came to my head. He was the one and only person who had been with me.. who Destiny kept there for me.. and, at the same time, Romih was also there.. he was a human, one of my kind.. we would get old together, we were more compatible at this matter. But something inside me told me that this story was far from ending.
"Zana?" Romih was looking at me. I realised I had been so absent minded that I didn't hear his last words. Before I could reply, Legolas walked towards us.
"This makes me nervous.. I hate waiting.. I'm not a person to wait.. I want something to happen!" He was looking around, with an inpatient gaze.
"We can't hurry things.. " I said, but becoming worried. We didn't know how many time we would have to be there. Amundsen and his group were getting ready to go on with their journey. In few time.
"Zana, can you please wash this cup in the sea? " A man asked me, passing me the small jar. Legolas and Romih sat in front of a small fire while I walked towards the edge. But it was too sharp there. Afraid of falling into the water, I stood up.
"I'll walk some metres, I need a safer zone!" I shouted, and the man nodded. Choosing a new direction, I saw the group more and more far away. Some metres. I had walked just twenty or thirty metres when it happened. Something opened under my feet, and I fell, sliding in an icy tunnel, longer and longer. I closed my eyes and remained still, afraid of moving an arm and break it against the walls. What if that was the end? What if I died there? All my hopes, all my fears were gone, as the speed increased. Then, I fell inside a cave. The most amazing view I had ever seen before. Walls of ice, blue shiny ice. And a lake, as blue as the sky, as if it had millions of lamps inside. Where did that light come from? It wasn't artificial but it looked like if it was.. I was inside the ice, the land of ice, and light came from the ground, filling the stance in blue. The ground was flat, as marble. I looked into the water, and I didn't see myself there. Confusing images appeared, and I kneeled on the ground, touching the surface of the lake with my hand. After all what I had lived, I couldn't be scared any more. I was alone, that was the final step of my mission.. who cared about fear? As soon as I touched the water, light became stronger, and the liquid started to spin. I heard the voice, a known voice for me.
"I never thought you would arrive here.. you've settled past, you fixed lives." No doubt about it, she was Galadriel, but I couldn't see her.
"Where are you?" I asked, looking around.
"I'm not here, I'm not anywhere.. "
"I don't understand you.. is this the end? What do I have to do now?" For a while, she didn't reply. "Galadriel? Are you here?"
"I'm not Galadriel, I'm just a voice, the voice you wanted to hear. But I don't have a name, a face or an origin.. I come from the deepness of the Land of the Eternal Ice" I was more and more confused. The voice wasn't Galadriel, but it sounded like her because I gave it this tone..
"Then, what do I have to do now?" I repeated, trying to finish as soon as possible.
"This is the last step, Zana. You've been chosen because we realised that many mistakes had been made in the past, that changed your life and many other's lives. You belong to a group, the group of the Lost People.. all of you got lost somewhere in the History.. and you were the point of connection.. solving your past would mean solving their pasts too.. and you managed to do it"
"What happened to Haldir and Gimli?" I asked, nerves killing my stomach.
"They found home, like you will find"
"How?" I almost shouted, and the water moved again, as the blue light shone stronger.
"The last step is not easy.. the decision you will take will change absolutely everything.. you can choose between two options.. do it alone.. or bring one person here.."
"Do what? Who should I bring here?" I felt lost, as if this decision could spoil everything.
"You're a human, this is a human decision. Follow your heart, decide for the rest of habitants in the Earth... say his name"
"Which name?" I was about to cry , desperated.
"The name of the one who will join you in this decision. Your heart must choose it"
"My heart?" I stared at the ground, thinking. The voice said it was a human decision. Why? Was that a clue? Was that something that an elf could never decide? I stood up, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready" I waited for an answer.
"Your heart was chosen" I felt the ground moving under my feet, and a distant shout. In few seconds, Romih showed up. He looked confused, and when he saw me, he came running.
"Zana! What the hell is this? Are you all right?" I nodded, as he took my hand. "Is this the end? Is this?" He was breathless.
"I chose you, Romih.. the voice from the water told me that you would help me to decide" He looked at me, confused.
"Decide about what?" We waited, in silence. My heart was beating so fast.
"How did you come here? How is Legolas?" I asked, worried.
"I heard you calling me.. I walked here, and then, I fell.."
"Call you? I didn't call you.." He stared at me, surprised. I looked around. The blue ice looked different, a kind of corridor had been opened. "There." I murmured, and Romih looked in the distance.
"We have to walk.." He murmured, and I nodded. I was sweating, despite of cold.. too nervous to feel any other kind of sensation. The sound of our steps increased above the walls. After walking some metres, I stopped, and looked back at Romih. His blue eyes shining in the light.
"I can't believe that, after all the events I've lived, you're the last person I'll see before.. ending." He smiled.
"This is not the end, Zana.. this is just the beginning"
"What if I won't ever see any of you again?" I felt my eyes full of tears. But all from the sudden, I remembered the words of Galadriel. We meet, during our lives, the same people we've been meeting along our reincarnations..
"So we'll meet again" He whispered. I looked at him, shocked.
"How did you know what I was thinking about?" He just smiled, mysteriously. We went on walking, the corridor turned darker, and soon new fears were coming to me. We were lost, alone, about to change everything, all laws of universe. And there it was.. a big icy hall, where the corridor ended. A locked room. "This is the end, but.. I don't understand anything.." I left his hand and walked around, looking at the ceiling.
"There's no exit.. " He murmured, and I felt panic. That small cabin could be our grave.
"Romih, this can't be happening.. I wish this would have never happened.. I wish I had never travelled to Middle Earth.. I don't care if my life wasn't the life I was supposed to live.. I'm too afraid of what future has prepared for me.." I was shaking so much, and he came by my side, with a kind expression on his face.
"Zana.. come on.. after all what you did.. how can you regret now? I'm here with you.. and I'm not scared at all! " He hugged me, and I closed my eyes. I wanted to see Legolas, I wished with all my heart that he was there. Just when I felt Romih's face coming closer, just when he kissed me. It was then when I saw it.. behind the ice in the walls. "What's wrong?" Asked Romih, in soft voice. But I was too shocked to reply. I touched the ice, that looked like crystal. There, behind the wall, a couple was staring at us. A frozen couple. Romih jumped, surprised.
"My god.." He murmured, while we checked them. A woman, with long dark curly hair, young. And a man, also with long hair, but he was blonde. Their eyes were opened, their mouths closed in a smile. Their hands together.
"They're a couple of humans.. but.. when did they come here?" I looked at them. "And why are they naked?"
"What does this have to do with the mission? A couple of dead people who probably came here once, fell in the ice and died?" I almost couldn't hear his voice, so shocked I was. "Zana, this is weird.. they're' naked, it's like if they put themselves in this position.."
"On purpose.." I finished the phrase for him. I was horrified. Who would have done this? And.. why? Who would have reached South Pole before Amundsen did?
"Zana.. they're' smiling.. they're frozen, but they look perfectly OK.."
"I know.. " I looked at the man's eyes.. they were so strange, as if they kept a huge secret .. the woman looked calmed, with a big peace.. and then I felt more shocked than ever before in my whole life.. my world fell down.. my knees bent and Romih had to hold me.
"What's wrong?" He asked, but I wasn't able to speak. What I had just seen was so shocking that it would change all rules of evolution and nature. I wondered why it had to be me the one who would carry that secret.. it was too much for me, too heavy to live with it.. now I understood why the voice had said that I would need to share it.. a human decision.. only another human would be able to understand it.. not an elf.. because an elf didn't know that..
"No, I don't want to see this.. I can't.." I murmured, feeling the tears falling through my face.
"What is it?" Romih asked, so worried, touching my face. I just pointed with my finger, and I saw his eyes freezing. He covered his open mouth with his hand, shaking.
"Now you understand.." He nodded, unable to move or speak. "They don't have belly button.. they're Adan and Eva. We have in our hands the power to change all laws of nature, telling this to the world. The question is.. must we tell it?"
"Zana.. your mission implies such a big responsibility and I'm really sorry that you have to carry with it.." He finally looked at me. I tried to smile, but tears were still falling.
"And what if I tell it? What if I decide to spread it? Do you know what would this mean? I even can't understand what would this mean.. I only know that this would change absolutely everything.. world would be a different place.. and I can't know if it would be better or worse.. it's not in my hands to decide this, I can't do it!"
"You were chosen for this, which means that you can.." He was absolutely calmed by then, and I realised that if he wasn't there, I would have lost all my strength.
"Legolas would never understand the meaning of this.. this is why my heart chose you.." Romih nodded.
"This is why you're destined to be with me.." He murmured. I looked back at the frozen couple, and took a deep breath.
"My heart knows what to do.. more than ever before.. " I checked the icy wall , looking for a clue. And I found it. A hole with an inscription on the ice. I read it in loud voice. "For the one who will find us.. if you decide to free us again, here there's a map buried in the ice, it will tell you the way back and what to do with our bodies.. science will be revolutionised and you all, human beings, will have to carry with consequences.. because we will show up in the beginning, when both worlds joined: Middle Earth and Earth, and your culture, religion, knowledge, will be radically changed. But.. if you decide to leave things like they are.. we're afraid to tell you that it won't be so simple.. we'll remain in your memory forever.. and this is a too big charge for a human's mind. You can't leave this room without suffering the effects.. once you'll cross the arc, the walls will fall and destroy our cabin , destroy us and.. destroy you. Good luck, Zana"
"Somebody wrote this, Zana.. they are talking about future things.. this is a trick, this can't be real.." Romih, murmured, angrily. But I was thinking deeply.
"I chose, Romih. I chose" When I looked at him, he knew what my answer meant. He sighed, and took my hand. "I must destroy them before someone else will find them. I can't change the whole History, it's not in my hands.. And as I can't carry this inside my head."
"We both must die.." He whispered. After some minutes, after taking the decision.. I didn't see the sense of my mission.. it was useless.. it was stupid.. everything for nothing.. nothing would change.. I would die, and nobody would notice.. indeed, I would change the world, because I wouldn't exist.. so that was it? I couldn't exist in this world? I was a kind of mistake? But I couldn't condemn Romih with me, so.. what was the point of that? I couldn't find another solution. When everything seemed to be lost, when we both were about to kill ourselves to destroy that discovery, it was then, when hope was completely lost, when I heard him.
"Zana! Zana!" Legolas was there. I couldn't believe my eyes. He had found the way. Romih looked at him, shocked. And suddenly, my world changed again. "Zana, don't do it.. don't make this happen.. you can't die! This wasn't the goal of such an important mission! I don't want to believe that all what we made was for nothing.." He came close to me, taking my hands.
"But I already fixed Haldir's life.. also Gimli's one.. and Fern, he died, remember?" I was crying again.
"But Zana.. I'm still here, can't you see it? What about my life?" He was right about that, but anyway, I didn't know how to solve that. What was the mission after all?
"Lets find the exit, please.." Romih said, pushing us towards the corridor. When I saw his eyes, the expression on them, I froze. We walked, and he walked behind, but suddenly everything happened too fast to react. Romih pushed us so strongly that Legolas and I fell on the ground, crossing the arc, and a the wall closed, leaving Romih locked inside. Legolas jumped, trying to open it, but he wasn't able.
"No, Romih!!" I shouted, and I heard his voice in the distance.
"Zana, once you saved my life.. I told you that I owe you this one.." Legolas stared at me when we heard a deep noise. The walls were falling.
"Run!" He shouted, taking my hand, and I followed him tears blurring my sight. Romih had destroyed Adan and Eva.. and he had died for me. The mission was over, and suddenly Legolas hand left mine. I was falling again. ---------------- ------------------------ ------------------------ ------ ---------------
Legolas felt as if he was falling forever.. darkness had come, he had lost Zana's contact.. and it was warm there. Looking around, he saw a prairie. Sun was shinning high in the sky, and a soft breeze moved the grass. It was the place where he had found Zana. But now he was alone. Or this he thought. Far in the distance, a group of people were coming, and he could recognise them at once.
Haldir, Gimli, Galadriel, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Boromir and Eomer, besides a bunch of unknown elves. He couldn't believe his eyes.. but Frodo had left to the Grey Havens, with Gandalf, that couldn't be possible.. and Boromir.. he was dead!
"Legolas, my friend.." Gandalf approached him, with a kind smile.
"I must be dreaming.." He whispered, confused.
"Somehow is right.. we're not real.. you're seeing us because you want to see us.. but we're not those people in reality" Aragorn commented, with his deep voice. Legolas looked at al of them.
"Who are you then?" The group smiled.
"We're the ones who decide things, the ones who lead your lives.. the ones you will meet one day.. but not yet, Legolas. "Arwen spoke.. or whoever she was.
"Missions is over.. Zana took a decision and now the consequences will come" Gimli was speaking, but Legolas noticed his eyes weren't like the dwarf's ones.. he wondered who were those people.
"What about Zana? Where is she? Did she take the correct decision?" Legolas asked, breathless.
"The correct decision?.." Boromir thought for a while. "Was it correct? Is difficult to tell.. both solutions would cause many changes.. she fixed the past of many of you.. more than you can imagine.. she made Romih died before he was born, and she brought you to the end.. you crossed a whole History.."
"You're not replying my questions, you're avoiding them" Legolas got angry, but Galadriel smiled softly.
"Be patient, my friend.. no one was harmed.. Romih found his place, in the time he belonged to.. he wasn't destined to be born in Germany, not in that time.. now he found home.. Zana went back home too, to her real time.. many things changed, yes.. and she will find out them.. but nothing bad will happen to any of them, Legolas.. she just fixed History.. she will have to adapt to new circumstances.. just this." Silence came while Legolas thought for a while.
"What about me? Why are you talking to me, and not to her? I'm not the one who had to carry with the mission.. why did you bring me here?" The elf stared at them, and it was Frodo the one who gave him the answer.
"Among all elves, among all people in the world, there's nobody else as noble and loyal as you are.. you're special, almost unreal.. you have this privilege.. to know the real truth, what happens after death, after reincarnations.. and what happens when you helped this girl along the days. "
"Then explain me.." Legolas asked.
"You know it.." Replied Faramir, with a mysterious smile.
"Now, Legolas.." Gandalf gave some steps towards him. "You must return home.."
"Home? And where am I supposed to live now? Will you leave me alone in any century? Living with the thought of what I've lost? Far away from Middle Earth, and condemned to not to see people I love again? This is the prize for being like I am?" He was furious.
"Don't get made before knowing what will happen" Replied Aragorn, patiently.
"I can't live with those memories inside my head!" Legolas shouted.
"We know" They all replied.
"This is why you will choose, Legolas.. starting from zero, with the only memories of anew life.. or remembering everything until your death" Merry explained.
"Death? Will I be human?" Legolas was shocked. The group nodded. "Why?"
"Is not a punishment.. you will understand better some day.. the punishment would be to have an immortal life again.. when some kind of things were impossible for you.. like loving a human. Now you'll be able to make your dreams come true" Gandalf spoke.
"But I don't want to love a human, I want Zana.. and you're telling me that my life will change forever.. I can't forget all what I've lived! I don't want to forget! And as I'll always remember, I assure you I won't ever love anybody else again" Some of the persons exchanged mysterious looks , smiling.
"Then.." Galadriel took his hand. "You want to remember"
"Yes.. although I know it will destroy my life.. far away from Zana, I will keep her memory forever" He made a short pause. "Where will you send me? Troy? England? Germany, with Haldir?" He froze when he thought about this, and when nobody replied him.
"Are you sure you want things like this? You want to remember?" Legolas nodded again. And he was sent home.
------------------- ----------------------- -------------------- -------- ------------------
The alarm clock went off and I opened my eyes, my heart beating so fast. I sat down on my bed. The sun was rising, I could feel it through the curtains. I was in my bedroom, my usual bedroom. I could hear my mother in the kitchen. But what had just happened? The sight of Legolas running, Romih disappearing behind the icy wall.. that couldn't be a dream.. I looked around, nothing was changed. I walked towards the kitchen, where I found my usual breakfast, my usual mother and my usual routine.
"You slept a lot, Zana.. are you feeling OK?" My mother asked, with worried voice. I just nodded, taking the newspaper. The usual newspaper.
"Which day is today?" I asked her, and she stared at me with curiosity.
"What do you mean? Are you sure you're OK?"
"Please, just reply me.." She sighed.
"Saturday, 25th June, 2004" She left the room, worried. June.. nothing had changed.. on 24th I had been at faculty.. time didn't pass.. then.. was it a dream? But it was impossible.
I took a shower, dressed and went to the street, the usual street. I looked for a difference, something that showed me that Gandalf's and Galadriel's words were real.. that I would return to my time, once the mission was over, but things would be a lot different.. but it seemed to be the same.. a deep sorrow invaded my heart and there, in the middle of the street, I began to cry.
That night I watched TV, like every night. My parents and sister tried to find out what was wrong with me, but I ignored them. The pain was too big. People had lied to me.. I wasn't able to stay in Middle Earth, I even didn't have the choice to choose.. I was forced to come back, I couldn't say goodbye to anybody, that was so unfair that anger invaded me.
My sister changed from channel on TV. A stupid program about famous people.. great.. talking about their private lives, who are dating now, what kind of car will they buy.. I hated the world where I lived, I hated it without the persons I had loved. If I was sane and everything was real.. but right now in that moment, doubts came tome. Maybe I was crazy after all.
I stood up to go to bed when something on TV called my attention, but I didn't arrive on time to hear the name of the person they were talking about, the journalist was just saying ".. has announced he will retire from the Hollywood world to start a normal life and relax, after the nervous breakdown he suffered last night, after he woke up in the Plaza Hotel in New York.." Well, at least I wasn't the only person in the world who was suffering from nerves. Whoever he was that actor, he seemed to be having a bad time too. Anyway.. who cared about famous people? When I stepped into my bed, I let my tears fall again. I would never be happy for the rest of my life.
( To be continued.. tomorrow : ) )
WARNING:THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, SO DON'T STOP READING!!! : ) I plan to go on with some new chapters, things are not fixed yet! : ) I love this song I've put here, I think it's perfect for this chapter , and I hope you all will like it!
**************** *************** ******************
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass
Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
- Into the west - Annie Lennox
When I opened my eyes I noticed it was early in the morning. It was difficult, in the Antarctica, to distinguish between day and night.. a soft permanent light remained in the horizon, making the huge icebergs shine over the grey ocean. This was what I saw when I walked outside, breathing the frozen air. To my big surprise, I was bearing cold perfectly, covered with the warm blankets. But I also suspected that I was having some help, although I didn't know from whom did it come. It was impossible that two humans like Romih and I had survived more than ten minutes without any kind of protection in that icy desert.
I was finally there.. and I still couldn't believe it. I felt as if the journey had ended but, at the same time, as if it had just began. I liked the feeling, but it also scared me.. what kind of second journey was I about to begin? Probably the journey back home. I remembered Gandalf's words. Things would be changed when I arrived there. People I knew, places where I lived.. maybe I would find a new whole world, and I couldn't help fearing that.
I walked towards the border of the ice ground, where the deep ocean moved slowly. I had always dreamed about that.. about being there, in the South Pole.. I had dreamed about many things that had come true. Amazingly, my actions had changed parts of the past.. just a simple person among millions, someone like me. That made me think.. any person can change everything, you just have to try. This was the lesson I had learned after the whole mission. Never give up, you can change things. I hoped to be so optimistic once I went back to my time.
"You're an early person" I turned around and met Legolas, who was smiling.
"I'm a bit nervous, I suppose.. I have a feeling.." I replied, looking in the distance. Legolas walked towards me, and waited by my side.
"Mission worries you?" I nodded, and then walked some metres. Maybe I was becoming crazy, but I was sure that I had seen a green light in the ice. "What's wrong, Zana?" I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Nothing.." I lied. His blue eyes were shining in a strange way.. maybe it was because of the ice, its white light. We stared at each other for a moment, when we heard the rest of the group waking up.
"Good morning!" Romih shouted at us, followed by Amundsen. They both left the shelter, their eyes half closed. A soft cold wind moved their coats.
"Breakfast will be done in no time" Sang Admunsen happily. I smiled. After all, that man would become so famous all around the world, he obviously wanted to celebrate that. After some minutes of silence, Romih offered me a cup of hot tea. I accepted it at once.
"How are you feeling, Zana?" He asked, once we were a bit apart from the group.
"I don't know.. everything is so.. confusing, so.." I shrugged, unable to find the proper words. I looked at him. "And what about you? This experience must be a shock.." He put a face as a reply, a childish face.
"If I'm sincere to you.. this is the most exciting thing I've ever experienced.. after this event, my life won't be the same.. nobody will believe me.." He drank a bit of tea, and something came to my head all from the sudden.
"Are you aware of something?" He looked at me with curiosity.
"Of what?"
"Maybe you shouldn't care about people who won't believe you.. because probably you won't return to your time.." I didn't notice any change on his face, he just nodded.
"I know.. and I came anyway, right? I want to know what Destiny prepared for me.. and I'm so happy to be here.. far away from the corrupt people who were rounding me lately.."
"I'm sorry about your sister." I murmured, but he smiled.
"Lets forget about it" He whispered. When I looked at the shelter, I saw Legolas sitting on a bag, his blue eyes fixed on us. His hair was long again, and I couldn't explain that amazing phenomenon. All the things we had lived together came to my head. He was the one and only person who had been with me.. who Destiny kept there for me.. and, at the same time, Romih was also there.. he was a human, one of my kind.. we would get old together, we were more compatible at this matter. But something inside me told me that this story was far from ending.
"Zana?" Romih was looking at me. I realised I had been so absent minded that I didn't hear his last words. Before I could reply, Legolas walked towards us.
"This makes me nervous.. I hate waiting.. I'm not a person to wait.. I want something to happen!" He was looking around, with an inpatient gaze.
"We can't hurry things.. " I said, but becoming worried. We didn't know how many time we would have to be there. Amundsen and his group were getting ready to go on with their journey. In few time.
"Zana, can you please wash this cup in the sea? " A man asked me, passing me the small jar. Legolas and Romih sat in front of a small fire while I walked towards the edge. But it was too sharp there. Afraid of falling into the water, I stood up.
"I'll walk some metres, I need a safer zone!" I shouted, and the man nodded. Choosing a new direction, I saw the group more and more far away. Some metres. I had walked just twenty or thirty metres when it happened. Something opened under my feet, and I fell, sliding in an icy tunnel, longer and longer. I closed my eyes and remained still, afraid of moving an arm and break it against the walls. What if that was the end? What if I died there? All my hopes, all my fears were gone, as the speed increased. Then, I fell inside a cave. The most amazing view I had ever seen before. Walls of ice, blue shiny ice. And a lake, as blue as the sky, as if it had millions of lamps inside. Where did that light come from? It wasn't artificial but it looked like if it was.. I was inside the ice, the land of ice, and light came from the ground, filling the stance in blue. The ground was flat, as marble. I looked into the water, and I didn't see myself there. Confusing images appeared, and I kneeled on the ground, touching the surface of the lake with my hand. After all what I had lived, I couldn't be scared any more. I was alone, that was the final step of my mission.. who cared about fear? As soon as I touched the water, light became stronger, and the liquid started to spin. I heard the voice, a known voice for me.
"I never thought you would arrive here.. you've settled past, you fixed lives." No doubt about it, she was Galadriel, but I couldn't see her.
"Where are you?" I asked, looking around.
"I'm not here, I'm not anywhere.. "
"I don't understand you.. is this the end? What do I have to do now?" For a while, she didn't reply. "Galadriel? Are you here?"
"I'm not Galadriel, I'm just a voice, the voice you wanted to hear. But I don't have a name, a face or an origin.. I come from the deepness of the Land of the Eternal Ice" I was more and more confused. The voice wasn't Galadriel, but it sounded like her because I gave it this tone..
"Then, what do I have to do now?" I repeated, trying to finish as soon as possible.
"This is the last step, Zana. You've been chosen because we realised that many mistakes had been made in the past, that changed your life and many other's lives. You belong to a group, the group of the Lost People.. all of you got lost somewhere in the History.. and you were the point of connection.. solving your past would mean solving their pasts too.. and you managed to do it"
"What happened to Haldir and Gimli?" I asked, nerves killing my stomach.
"They found home, like you will find"
"How?" I almost shouted, and the water moved again, as the blue light shone stronger.
"The last step is not easy.. the decision you will take will change absolutely everything.. you can choose between two options.. do it alone.. or bring one person here.."
"Do what? Who should I bring here?" I felt lost, as if this decision could spoil everything.
"You're a human, this is a human decision. Follow your heart, decide for the rest of habitants in the Earth... say his name"
"Which name?" I was about to cry , desperated.
"The name of the one who will join you in this decision. Your heart must choose it"
"My heart?" I stared at the ground, thinking. The voice said it was a human decision. Why? Was that a clue? Was that something that an elf could never decide? I stood up, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready" I waited for an answer.
"Your heart was chosen" I felt the ground moving under my feet, and a distant shout. In few seconds, Romih showed up. He looked confused, and when he saw me, he came running.
"Zana! What the hell is this? Are you all right?" I nodded, as he took my hand. "Is this the end? Is this?" He was breathless.
"I chose you, Romih.. the voice from the water told me that you would help me to decide" He looked at me, confused.
"Decide about what?" We waited, in silence. My heart was beating so fast.
"How did you come here? How is Legolas?" I asked, worried.
"I heard you calling me.. I walked here, and then, I fell.."
"Call you? I didn't call you.." He stared at me, surprised. I looked around. The blue ice looked different, a kind of corridor had been opened. "There." I murmured, and Romih looked in the distance.
"We have to walk.." He murmured, and I nodded. I was sweating, despite of cold.. too nervous to feel any other kind of sensation. The sound of our steps increased above the walls. After walking some metres, I stopped, and looked back at Romih. His blue eyes shining in the light.
"I can't believe that, after all the events I've lived, you're the last person I'll see before.. ending." He smiled.
"This is not the end, Zana.. this is just the beginning"
"What if I won't ever see any of you again?" I felt my eyes full of tears. But all from the sudden, I remembered the words of Galadriel. We meet, during our lives, the same people we've been meeting along our reincarnations..
"So we'll meet again" He whispered. I looked at him, shocked.
"How did you know what I was thinking about?" He just smiled, mysteriously. We went on walking, the corridor turned darker, and soon new fears were coming to me. We were lost, alone, about to change everything, all laws of universe. And there it was.. a big icy hall, where the corridor ended. A locked room. "This is the end, but.. I don't understand anything.." I left his hand and walked around, looking at the ceiling.
"There's no exit.. " He murmured, and I felt panic. That small cabin could be our grave.
"Romih, this can't be happening.. I wish this would have never happened.. I wish I had never travelled to Middle Earth.. I don't care if my life wasn't the life I was supposed to live.. I'm too afraid of what future has prepared for me.." I was shaking so much, and he came by my side, with a kind expression on his face.
"Zana.. come on.. after all what you did.. how can you regret now? I'm here with you.. and I'm not scared at all! " He hugged me, and I closed my eyes. I wanted to see Legolas, I wished with all my heart that he was there. Just when I felt Romih's face coming closer, just when he kissed me. It was then when I saw it.. behind the ice in the walls. "What's wrong?" Asked Romih, in soft voice. But I was too shocked to reply. I touched the ice, that looked like crystal. There, behind the wall, a couple was staring at us. A frozen couple. Romih jumped, surprised.
"My god.." He murmured, while we checked them. A woman, with long dark curly hair, young. And a man, also with long hair, but he was blonde. Their eyes were opened, their mouths closed in a smile. Their hands together.
"They're a couple of humans.. but.. when did they come here?" I looked at them. "And why are they naked?"
"What does this have to do with the mission? A couple of dead people who probably came here once, fell in the ice and died?" I almost couldn't hear his voice, so shocked I was. "Zana, this is weird.. they're' naked, it's like if they put themselves in this position.."
"On purpose.." I finished the phrase for him. I was horrified. Who would have done this? And.. why? Who would have reached South Pole before Amundsen did?
"Zana.. they're' smiling.. they're frozen, but they look perfectly OK.."
"I know.. " I looked at the man's eyes.. they were so strange, as if they kept a huge secret .. the woman looked calmed, with a big peace.. and then I felt more shocked than ever before in my whole life.. my world fell down.. my knees bent and Romih had to hold me.
"What's wrong?" He asked, but I wasn't able to speak. What I had just seen was so shocking that it would change all rules of evolution and nature. I wondered why it had to be me the one who would carry that secret.. it was too much for me, too heavy to live with it.. now I understood why the voice had said that I would need to share it.. a human decision.. only another human would be able to understand it.. not an elf.. because an elf didn't know that..
"No, I don't want to see this.. I can't.." I murmured, feeling the tears falling through my face.
"What is it?" Romih asked, so worried, touching my face. I just pointed with my finger, and I saw his eyes freezing. He covered his open mouth with his hand, shaking.
"Now you understand.." He nodded, unable to move or speak. "They don't have belly button.. they're Adan and Eva. We have in our hands the power to change all laws of nature, telling this to the world. The question is.. must we tell it?"
"Zana.. your mission implies such a big responsibility and I'm really sorry that you have to carry with it.." He finally looked at me. I tried to smile, but tears were still falling.
"And what if I tell it? What if I decide to spread it? Do you know what would this mean? I even can't understand what would this mean.. I only know that this would change absolutely everything.. world would be a different place.. and I can't know if it would be better or worse.. it's not in my hands to decide this, I can't do it!"
"You were chosen for this, which means that you can.." He was absolutely calmed by then, and I realised that if he wasn't there, I would have lost all my strength.
"Legolas would never understand the meaning of this.. this is why my heart chose you.." Romih nodded.
"This is why you're destined to be with me.." He murmured. I looked back at the frozen couple, and took a deep breath.
"My heart knows what to do.. more than ever before.. " I checked the icy wall , looking for a clue. And I found it. A hole with an inscription on the ice. I read it in loud voice. "For the one who will find us.. if you decide to free us again, here there's a map buried in the ice, it will tell you the way back and what to do with our bodies.. science will be revolutionised and you all, human beings, will have to carry with consequences.. because we will show up in the beginning, when both worlds joined: Middle Earth and Earth, and your culture, religion, knowledge, will be radically changed. But.. if you decide to leave things like they are.. we're afraid to tell you that it won't be so simple.. we'll remain in your memory forever.. and this is a too big charge for a human's mind. You can't leave this room without suffering the effects.. once you'll cross the arc, the walls will fall and destroy our cabin , destroy us and.. destroy you. Good luck, Zana"
"Somebody wrote this, Zana.. they are talking about future things.. this is a trick, this can't be real.." Romih, murmured, angrily. But I was thinking deeply.
"I chose, Romih. I chose" When I looked at him, he knew what my answer meant. He sighed, and took my hand. "I must destroy them before someone else will find them. I can't change the whole History, it's not in my hands.. And as I can't carry this inside my head."
"We both must die.." He whispered. After some minutes, after taking the decision.. I didn't see the sense of my mission.. it was useless.. it was stupid.. everything for nothing.. nothing would change.. I would die, and nobody would notice.. indeed, I would change the world, because I wouldn't exist.. so that was it? I couldn't exist in this world? I was a kind of mistake? But I couldn't condemn Romih with me, so.. what was the point of that? I couldn't find another solution. When everything seemed to be lost, when we both were about to kill ourselves to destroy that discovery, it was then, when hope was completely lost, when I heard him.
"Zana! Zana!" Legolas was there. I couldn't believe my eyes. He had found the way. Romih looked at him, shocked. And suddenly, my world changed again. "Zana, don't do it.. don't make this happen.. you can't die! This wasn't the goal of such an important mission! I don't want to believe that all what we made was for nothing.." He came close to me, taking my hands.
"But I already fixed Haldir's life.. also Gimli's one.. and Fern, he died, remember?" I was crying again.
"But Zana.. I'm still here, can't you see it? What about my life?" He was right about that, but anyway, I didn't know how to solve that. What was the mission after all?
"Lets find the exit, please.." Romih said, pushing us towards the corridor. When I saw his eyes, the expression on them, I froze. We walked, and he walked behind, but suddenly everything happened too fast to react. Romih pushed us so strongly that Legolas and I fell on the ground, crossing the arc, and a the wall closed, leaving Romih locked inside. Legolas jumped, trying to open it, but he wasn't able.
"No, Romih!!" I shouted, and I heard his voice in the distance.
"Zana, once you saved my life.. I told you that I owe you this one.." Legolas stared at me when we heard a deep noise. The walls were falling.
"Run!" He shouted, taking my hand, and I followed him tears blurring my sight. Romih had destroyed Adan and Eva.. and he had died for me. The mission was over, and suddenly Legolas hand left mine. I was falling again. ---------------- ------------------------ ------------------------ ------ ---------------
Legolas felt as if he was falling forever.. darkness had come, he had lost Zana's contact.. and it was warm there. Looking around, he saw a prairie. Sun was shinning high in the sky, and a soft breeze moved the grass. It was the place where he had found Zana. But now he was alone. Or this he thought. Far in the distance, a group of people were coming, and he could recognise them at once.
Haldir, Gimli, Galadriel, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Faramir, Boromir and Eomer, besides a bunch of unknown elves. He couldn't believe his eyes.. but Frodo had left to the Grey Havens, with Gandalf, that couldn't be possible.. and Boromir.. he was dead!
"Legolas, my friend.." Gandalf approached him, with a kind smile.
"I must be dreaming.." He whispered, confused.
"Somehow is right.. we're not real.. you're seeing us because you want to see us.. but we're not those people in reality" Aragorn commented, with his deep voice. Legolas looked at al of them.
"Who are you then?" The group smiled.
"We're the ones who decide things, the ones who lead your lives.. the ones you will meet one day.. but not yet, Legolas. "Arwen spoke.. or whoever she was.
"Missions is over.. Zana took a decision and now the consequences will come" Gimli was speaking, but Legolas noticed his eyes weren't like the dwarf's ones.. he wondered who were those people.
"What about Zana? Where is she? Did she take the correct decision?" Legolas asked, breathless.
"The correct decision?.." Boromir thought for a while. "Was it correct? Is difficult to tell.. both solutions would cause many changes.. she fixed the past of many of you.. more than you can imagine.. she made Romih died before he was born, and she brought you to the end.. you crossed a whole History.."
"You're not replying my questions, you're avoiding them" Legolas got angry, but Galadriel smiled softly.
"Be patient, my friend.. no one was harmed.. Romih found his place, in the time he belonged to.. he wasn't destined to be born in Germany, not in that time.. now he found home.. Zana went back home too, to her real time.. many things changed, yes.. and she will find out them.. but nothing bad will happen to any of them, Legolas.. she just fixed History.. she will have to adapt to new circumstances.. just this." Silence came while Legolas thought for a while.
"What about me? Why are you talking to me, and not to her? I'm not the one who had to carry with the mission.. why did you bring me here?" The elf stared at them, and it was Frodo the one who gave him the answer.
"Among all elves, among all people in the world, there's nobody else as noble and loyal as you are.. you're special, almost unreal.. you have this privilege.. to know the real truth, what happens after death, after reincarnations.. and what happens when you helped this girl along the days. "
"Then explain me.." Legolas asked.
"You know it.." Replied Faramir, with a mysterious smile.
"Now, Legolas.." Gandalf gave some steps towards him. "You must return home.."
"Home? And where am I supposed to live now? Will you leave me alone in any century? Living with the thought of what I've lost? Far away from Middle Earth, and condemned to not to see people I love again? This is the prize for being like I am?" He was furious.
"Don't get made before knowing what will happen" Replied Aragorn, patiently.
"I can't live with those memories inside my head!" Legolas shouted.
"We know" They all replied.
"This is why you will choose, Legolas.. starting from zero, with the only memories of anew life.. or remembering everything until your death" Merry explained.
"Death? Will I be human?" Legolas was shocked. The group nodded. "Why?"
"Is not a punishment.. you will understand better some day.. the punishment would be to have an immortal life again.. when some kind of things were impossible for you.. like loving a human. Now you'll be able to make your dreams come true" Gandalf spoke.
"But I don't want to love a human, I want Zana.. and you're telling me that my life will change forever.. I can't forget all what I've lived! I don't want to forget! And as I'll always remember, I assure you I won't ever love anybody else again" Some of the persons exchanged mysterious looks , smiling.
"Then.." Galadriel took his hand. "You want to remember"
"Yes.. although I know it will destroy my life.. far away from Zana, I will keep her memory forever" He made a short pause. "Where will you send me? Troy? England? Germany, with Haldir?" He froze when he thought about this, and when nobody replied him.
"Are you sure you want things like this? You want to remember?" Legolas nodded again. And he was sent home.
------------------- ----------------------- -------------------- -------- ------------------
The alarm clock went off and I opened my eyes, my heart beating so fast. I sat down on my bed. The sun was rising, I could feel it through the curtains. I was in my bedroom, my usual bedroom. I could hear my mother in the kitchen. But what had just happened? The sight of Legolas running, Romih disappearing behind the icy wall.. that couldn't be a dream.. I looked around, nothing was changed. I walked towards the kitchen, where I found my usual breakfast, my usual mother and my usual routine.
"You slept a lot, Zana.. are you feeling OK?" My mother asked, with worried voice. I just nodded, taking the newspaper. The usual newspaper.
"Which day is today?" I asked her, and she stared at me with curiosity.
"What do you mean? Are you sure you're OK?"
"Please, just reply me.." She sighed.
"Saturday, 25th June, 2004" She left the room, worried. June.. nothing had changed.. on 24th I had been at faculty.. time didn't pass.. then.. was it a dream? But it was impossible.
I took a shower, dressed and went to the street, the usual street. I looked for a difference, something that showed me that Gandalf's and Galadriel's words were real.. that I would return to my time, once the mission was over, but things would be a lot different.. but it seemed to be the same.. a deep sorrow invaded my heart and there, in the middle of the street, I began to cry.
That night I watched TV, like every night. My parents and sister tried to find out what was wrong with me, but I ignored them. The pain was too big. People had lied to me.. I wasn't able to stay in Middle Earth, I even didn't have the choice to choose.. I was forced to come back, I couldn't say goodbye to anybody, that was so unfair that anger invaded me.
My sister changed from channel on TV. A stupid program about famous people.. great.. talking about their private lives, who are dating now, what kind of car will they buy.. I hated the world where I lived, I hated it without the persons I had loved. If I was sane and everything was real.. but right now in that moment, doubts came tome. Maybe I was crazy after all.
I stood up to go to bed when something on TV called my attention, but I didn't arrive on time to hear the name of the person they were talking about, the journalist was just saying ".. has announced he will retire from the Hollywood world to start a normal life and relax, after the nervous breakdown he suffered last night, after he woke up in the Plaza Hotel in New York.." Well, at least I wasn't the only person in the world who was suffering from nerves. Whoever he was that actor, he seemed to be having a bad time too. Anyway.. who cared about famous people? When I stepped into my bed, I let my tears fall again. I would never be happy for the rest of my life.
( To be continued.. tomorrow : ) )