Part 3
I crouch in the entrance to the tent for a long time after my watch is over, trying to tell if Jack is actually sleeping. He's being very quiet and still, but he's good at that when he wants to be.
Oh, just get in the damn tent. You can't hover out here all night.
Right. So. In the tent. I think I'll just do it very quietly. I wouldn't want to disturb Jack, after all. We've had a busy day. After Sam told the general about the multiple eclipses, he authorized our resident geophysicist to join us. Doctor Thornton promptly starting having kittens over the idea of daily solar eclipses, and he and Sam have been chattering happily over their equipment all day. Teal'c, as usual, kept his eyes on the horizon and watched our backs, and I kept working on the stele. Although, frankly, I'm just trying to look busy with that thing now. There's simply not enough information for me to make even an educated guess as to what it says.
Jack... he hovered. He offered water and snacks, which is normal, but he tended to couch those offerings with a lot of excessive hair ruffling, shoulder squeezing, and an almost constant smile. Sam would have noticed had she not been so busy with Thornton and their planned tests, and I can never tell with Teal'c. He probably noticed--he doesn't miss much--but he didn't say anything. Actually, Sam should have noticed, too. She's a scientist, but she's also a soldier, and her commanding officer is acting distinctly out of character. I find it hard to believe that she's completely oblivious.
"Mmm..."
I freeze in the process of wiggling into my sleeping bag, and watch Jack carefully, but he still seems to be asleep. I inch my way into the bag, which is shaped oddly tonight. It puzzles me until I see that he's zipped the bags together.
Okay. That's a definite sign. I don't know what it's a sign of, exactly, but it has to mean something. I can't separate them again while he's occupying the joined bag, so I guess I'll just have to share. We've done it before, on those occasions when the planet is *really* cold at night, and not just moderately chilly like this one.
Jack remains still and quiet until I'm fully settled into the sleeping bag, and then he pounces, snaking an arm around my abdomen and tugging me close. I'm suddenly very glad that I kept most of my clothes on. Not that he... I mean... I'm just glad. Sort of.
I manage a strangled yelp, and he chuckles softly, drawing me in and patting my hair. I'm torn between indignation that he's treating me like a child or a favored pet, and just plain enjoying the contact too much to be upset about it.
"Jack!"
"Ssshh. Go to sleep."
I try to draw back so I can see his face, but he holds me tightly against his chest, my head tucked under his chin. I'm trying to be angry about this, but he's entirely too warm and comfortable. His hands are stroking my shoulders, then rubbing small circles in the hollow of my back, and then... oh, my.
"Hey!" I protest. "Hands!"
"Are they cold?" he asks, all innocence.
"No, but, um... a bit low, Jack. And on the wrong side of the pants!"
He laughs again, his chest moving against mine. "You like it," he says smugly.
"Jaa-ack. You're not thinking clearly. I think something on this planet is affecting your behavior. You haven't been acting normally since we got here."
"Hush. Sleepy."
"Jack. Seriously. I can't let you do this, not when you're being influenced. I can't take advantage."
Jack loosens his arms enough for our eyes to meet, and then he nudges my cheek with his nose, grinning widely. "Taking advantage implies that this is something you wanted, Doctor Jackson."
Why does it disarm me completely when he calls me that? And why do I let myself forget that he's much smarter than he lets on?
"I, uh... that's not what I meant. I just mean..."
"Danny. Relax and go to sleep. I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do, and we both know you like it just as much as I do. It's harmless, it feels good, and it keeps us warm. Where's the problem?"
Well, when he puts it that way...
No. I absolutely cannot just go with this, no matter how nice it is. Jack is clearly not in his right mind, no matter what he says, and it's my responsibility to protect him from himself. He certainly wouldn't want to do this if he was thinking clearly.
"Jack—"
I'm suddenly cut off by his mouth on mine. It's soft, dry, and fleeting. Just enough pressure and warmth to completely throw me off what I was going to say. He's... oh, my. He's going to do it again.
"Mmm... that's, uh... no! Jack, please, you have to listen. We can't do this."
He's nipping at the line of my jaw now, little gentle pinches with his teeth, soothed by the flickering tip of his tongue. I shiver as all my skin seems to tighten. "You like it," he gloats.
"I, ah... yes, but, but you don't! I mean, you don't normally... uh..."
"Hush. There are better things you could be doing with your mouth."
Oh, and wouldn't I love to...
No. No! Somebody has to keep a cool head here. Since it obviously isn't going to be Jack, I'll have to take responsibility. I really have to. And I will, in a minute. I swear I will. Just as soon as he stops doing that thing to my neck, because it's so hard to think when he does that...
I shake myself and flatten my palms against his chest, pushing him away. "Jack, stop! I mean it. We can't do this."
He pouts. I'm not kidding. He actually pouts. "Please?"
"No. Absolutely not. We're off-world, we're on duty, Sam is awake outside, and if all that weren't enough, you don't feel that way about me!"
One corner of his mouth tugs upward, and he gives me a sly look. "Oh, I don't? What about you? Do you feel that way?"
I gawp at him, caught completely off guard. "I, uh... never thought about it. I mean, you're my friend, but I... I don't look at you like, um..."
"Seems like you liked what I was doing."
"Well, it's been a while," I say defensively. "And you're good at... uh, what you were doing. I couldn't help it."
Jack smirks and traces his fingertips along my hairline, sliding them behind my ears and down the side of my neck. "Uh-huh. So you're telling me you'd react the same way, with all that writhing and those little breathy sounds, if, say, Teal'c was doing it?"
"Wh-what? Writhing? I didn't... uh..."
"You did."
I wish he'd stop touching my neck like that. He's close enough for me to feel his breath on my ear, and it's very... distracting.
"Jack, whether I liked it or not is not the point. *You* do not feel that way about me, and you are not acting in your right mind." There, that's better. More certain, less breathless.
"How are you so sure about what I feel?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "I've known you for years, Jack. You have never given me the slightest indication that you might harbor any kind of physical attraction for me, and in fact, lately you don't even seem to like me. I thought you were attracted to Sam, to tell the truth."
His smile fades, and he nods slowly, sadly. "I can't just turn it around so easily, can I? I have a lot of ground to recover."
I frown and shake my head. "Jack, just... you don't need to worry. We'll get you off this planet and Janet will figure out whatever is messing with you, and you'll be back to normal."
"No," he snaps. "No, don't do that. Give me some time, Daniel. This place... I feel like I'm thinking clearer. It's like I can see what really matters to me, and in case you don't know, you're at the top of that list. Let me stay here long enough to figure out how to fix this. How to fix us."
I force myself to swallow, and duck, mumbling into his chest. "I, ah... actually, I didn't know that. About topping the list."
"Then I should have told you before. Or better yet, I should have treated you right, so you wouldn't have to doubt it."
I don't know how to respond to that, so I just stay quiet. He sighs and pulls me close again, and this time I don't bother fighting him. The cuddling I can handle. It's the kissing that was too intimate. When Jack goes back to normal, he's going to be so embarrassed about the kissing, and he'll want to avoid me more than usual. It's best to limit the damage as much as I can.
"You okay?" he asks softly.
"I'm fine."
"Of course you are."
He sounds sad again, resigned, and I frown against the hollow of his shoulder. What did I do this time?
"Jack?"
"Hush, Danny. It's late. Let's get some sleep."
Well, okay. That, I can do.
~~~
"If I'm doing the math right, the eclipse should start within the next five minutes."
We all look at Sam. *If* she's doing the math right. Like she ever does it wrong. She gives us that slightly nervous smile of hers and goes back to fussing over her equipment. The geophysicist, Thornton, has already decided that she's an earth-bound goddess, and has spent most of his time here either smiling dopily at her or expounding on just how unusual daily eclipses are.
Jack takes a step to the side and ends up close enough for our sleeves to brush lightly. I keep my eyes on Sam's machines. If he's smiling at me again, I'll just... I don't know. Something. This would all be great if I didn't know he was being influenced by something. It can't last, and I can't let myself get used to it.
"Danny."
I grind my teeth together and resolutely stare straight ahead. If he ruffles my hair one more time...
"Hey. Daniel."
Okay, fine. "Yes, Jack?" Still not looking at him.
"Look at me."
I sigh and slowly turn to face him, making sure I look martyred and put- upon. He's got his BDU jacket off and is standing there in his black tee, his hands on his hips, smiling. He's got that look that says he's really making an effort to be charming, and boy is it paying off. I can feel my traitor mouth smiling back at him.
"Something wrong, Danny?"
"Nope. I'm fine."
"Okay then, you better get ready," he says.
"Ready?"
He grins a little wider and reaches casually into my shirt pocket, pulling out my prescription sunglasses. I lean back slightly as he goes to put them on my face, but he just moves with me, undeterred. The next thing I know, he's sliding them into place, letting his fingertips trace over my ears and down the sides of my neck before he pulls back.
"Jack," I hiss warningly. We're out here in front of everyone, doesn't he realize that?
"Just watching out for your eyes, Daniel." And then, in a voice pitched only for my ears: "Wouldn't want to damage something so pretty."
Pretty? Did he just tell me I have pretty eyes? I don't know whether I should be flattered or insulted. I mean, pretty is something you say to a woman. But still... coming from Jack, it's not so bad.
"It's starting!" Thornton calls, and I quickly retreat from Jack's side. He slides on his own sunglasses, unconcerned, and watches the sky.
"Here," Sam says, handing out several pieces of blackened glass. "Watch through this."
Teal'c eyes the thing dubiously and then holds it up in front of his face with a distinct air of 'I'm only doing this to humor you.'
Only Jack eschews the glass and watches the same way he watched the last two, with nothing but his sunglasses to protect him. Sam frowns at this, but knows how to pick her battles, and it's clear she's not going to win this one. Thornton is gaping at the sky, his own blackened glass held in front of his face like a shield. I've seen the show twice already, but this is the first time I can watch it fully, feeling safe behind my glass.
We're all silent as it happens, and except for the odd sound of insects chirping during the day and the beeping of Sam's machines, it's quiet. I can hear Jack beside me, breathing. He's sidled closer again. I consider moving away, but I stand my ground. There's nothing to be afraid of.
"Sir, this is amazing," Sam says, alternating between staring at her computer readout and watching the eclipse. We've reached totality again, and through my blackened glass, I see what looks like a ring of fire.
"Yes," Jack says simply.
"I mean, the light," Sam elaborates. "It's coming in pulses. Very small, very rapid pulses, in an erratic pattern... I'll have to study it further to tell more... this isn't random, sir. That moon, or whatever it is, is altering the light that reaches us during the eclipse."
"Didn't I say that?" Jack smirks.
Sam smiles, but I'm positive she rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses. "Yes, sir."
So the eclipse is doing funny things to the light. That has to be why—but come on. Light pulses affecting Jack's behavior? Isn't that a bit of a reach?
Not really. What about when he had the ancient's knowledge downloaded into his brain? That was just a few seconds of staring into what Teal'c described as colored, moving lights, and it sure as hell affected his behavior.
Well, yeah, true, but this isn't the same. He's still perfectly healthy and happy, and he's only acting a little different, and I'm sure that he's fine.
Are you? Or do you just not want it to end? If you tell Sam how he's been acting differently, she'll want to take him back to the SGC and Janet will do her thing and it'll be all over.
Which would be good. Because nothing can ever happen with us anyway, because he doesn't feel that way. He's confused.
So I should tell Sam. Now that we have scientific evidence that the eclipse is not natural and that the light patterns have been altered, I can tell her that Jack has been changed somehow. Report it, do the right thing, and get him the help he needs. I have a responsibility to come forward with this. Keeping to myself is selfish and careless.
Yes. All of that is true. And I'll tell Sam. I will. Soon.
~~~
I crouch in the entrance to the tent for a long time after my watch is over, trying to tell if Jack is actually sleeping. He's being very quiet and still, but he's good at that when he wants to be.
Oh, just get in the damn tent. You can't hover out here all night.
Right. So. In the tent. I think I'll just do it very quietly. I wouldn't want to disturb Jack, after all. We've had a busy day. After Sam told the general about the multiple eclipses, he authorized our resident geophysicist to join us. Doctor Thornton promptly starting having kittens over the idea of daily solar eclipses, and he and Sam have been chattering happily over their equipment all day. Teal'c, as usual, kept his eyes on the horizon and watched our backs, and I kept working on the stele. Although, frankly, I'm just trying to look busy with that thing now. There's simply not enough information for me to make even an educated guess as to what it says.
Jack... he hovered. He offered water and snacks, which is normal, but he tended to couch those offerings with a lot of excessive hair ruffling, shoulder squeezing, and an almost constant smile. Sam would have noticed had she not been so busy with Thornton and their planned tests, and I can never tell with Teal'c. He probably noticed--he doesn't miss much--but he didn't say anything. Actually, Sam should have noticed, too. She's a scientist, but she's also a soldier, and her commanding officer is acting distinctly out of character. I find it hard to believe that she's completely oblivious.
"Mmm..."
I freeze in the process of wiggling into my sleeping bag, and watch Jack carefully, but he still seems to be asleep. I inch my way into the bag, which is shaped oddly tonight. It puzzles me until I see that he's zipped the bags together.
Okay. That's a definite sign. I don't know what it's a sign of, exactly, but it has to mean something. I can't separate them again while he's occupying the joined bag, so I guess I'll just have to share. We've done it before, on those occasions when the planet is *really* cold at night, and not just moderately chilly like this one.
Jack remains still and quiet until I'm fully settled into the sleeping bag, and then he pounces, snaking an arm around my abdomen and tugging me close. I'm suddenly very glad that I kept most of my clothes on. Not that he... I mean... I'm just glad. Sort of.
I manage a strangled yelp, and he chuckles softly, drawing me in and patting my hair. I'm torn between indignation that he's treating me like a child or a favored pet, and just plain enjoying the contact too much to be upset about it.
"Jack!"
"Ssshh. Go to sleep."
I try to draw back so I can see his face, but he holds me tightly against his chest, my head tucked under his chin. I'm trying to be angry about this, but he's entirely too warm and comfortable. His hands are stroking my shoulders, then rubbing small circles in the hollow of my back, and then... oh, my.
"Hey!" I protest. "Hands!"
"Are they cold?" he asks, all innocence.
"No, but, um... a bit low, Jack. And on the wrong side of the pants!"
He laughs again, his chest moving against mine. "You like it," he says smugly.
"Jaa-ack. You're not thinking clearly. I think something on this planet is affecting your behavior. You haven't been acting normally since we got here."
"Hush. Sleepy."
"Jack. Seriously. I can't let you do this, not when you're being influenced. I can't take advantage."
Jack loosens his arms enough for our eyes to meet, and then he nudges my cheek with his nose, grinning widely. "Taking advantage implies that this is something you wanted, Doctor Jackson."
Why does it disarm me completely when he calls me that? And why do I let myself forget that he's much smarter than he lets on?
"I, uh... that's not what I meant. I just mean..."
"Danny. Relax and go to sleep. I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do, and we both know you like it just as much as I do. It's harmless, it feels good, and it keeps us warm. Where's the problem?"
Well, when he puts it that way...
No. I absolutely cannot just go with this, no matter how nice it is. Jack is clearly not in his right mind, no matter what he says, and it's my responsibility to protect him from himself. He certainly wouldn't want to do this if he was thinking clearly.
"Jack—"
I'm suddenly cut off by his mouth on mine. It's soft, dry, and fleeting. Just enough pressure and warmth to completely throw me off what I was going to say. He's... oh, my. He's going to do it again.
"Mmm... that's, uh... no! Jack, please, you have to listen. We can't do this."
He's nipping at the line of my jaw now, little gentle pinches with his teeth, soothed by the flickering tip of his tongue. I shiver as all my skin seems to tighten. "You like it," he gloats.
"I, ah... yes, but, but you don't! I mean, you don't normally... uh..."
"Hush. There are better things you could be doing with your mouth."
Oh, and wouldn't I love to...
No. No! Somebody has to keep a cool head here. Since it obviously isn't going to be Jack, I'll have to take responsibility. I really have to. And I will, in a minute. I swear I will. Just as soon as he stops doing that thing to my neck, because it's so hard to think when he does that...
I shake myself and flatten my palms against his chest, pushing him away. "Jack, stop! I mean it. We can't do this."
He pouts. I'm not kidding. He actually pouts. "Please?"
"No. Absolutely not. We're off-world, we're on duty, Sam is awake outside, and if all that weren't enough, you don't feel that way about me!"
One corner of his mouth tugs upward, and he gives me a sly look. "Oh, I don't? What about you? Do you feel that way?"
I gawp at him, caught completely off guard. "I, uh... never thought about it. I mean, you're my friend, but I... I don't look at you like, um..."
"Seems like you liked what I was doing."
"Well, it's been a while," I say defensively. "And you're good at... uh, what you were doing. I couldn't help it."
Jack smirks and traces his fingertips along my hairline, sliding them behind my ears and down the side of my neck. "Uh-huh. So you're telling me you'd react the same way, with all that writhing and those little breathy sounds, if, say, Teal'c was doing it?"
"Wh-what? Writhing? I didn't... uh..."
"You did."
I wish he'd stop touching my neck like that. He's close enough for me to feel his breath on my ear, and it's very... distracting.
"Jack, whether I liked it or not is not the point. *You* do not feel that way about me, and you are not acting in your right mind." There, that's better. More certain, less breathless.
"How are you so sure about what I feel?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "I've known you for years, Jack. You have never given me the slightest indication that you might harbor any kind of physical attraction for me, and in fact, lately you don't even seem to like me. I thought you were attracted to Sam, to tell the truth."
His smile fades, and he nods slowly, sadly. "I can't just turn it around so easily, can I? I have a lot of ground to recover."
I frown and shake my head. "Jack, just... you don't need to worry. We'll get you off this planet and Janet will figure out whatever is messing with you, and you'll be back to normal."
"No," he snaps. "No, don't do that. Give me some time, Daniel. This place... I feel like I'm thinking clearer. It's like I can see what really matters to me, and in case you don't know, you're at the top of that list. Let me stay here long enough to figure out how to fix this. How to fix us."
I force myself to swallow, and duck, mumbling into his chest. "I, ah... actually, I didn't know that. About topping the list."
"Then I should have told you before. Or better yet, I should have treated you right, so you wouldn't have to doubt it."
I don't know how to respond to that, so I just stay quiet. He sighs and pulls me close again, and this time I don't bother fighting him. The cuddling I can handle. It's the kissing that was too intimate. When Jack goes back to normal, he's going to be so embarrassed about the kissing, and he'll want to avoid me more than usual. It's best to limit the damage as much as I can.
"You okay?" he asks softly.
"I'm fine."
"Of course you are."
He sounds sad again, resigned, and I frown against the hollow of his shoulder. What did I do this time?
"Jack?"
"Hush, Danny. It's late. Let's get some sleep."
Well, okay. That, I can do.
~~~
"If I'm doing the math right, the eclipse should start within the next five minutes."
We all look at Sam. *If* she's doing the math right. Like she ever does it wrong. She gives us that slightly nervous smile of hers and goes back to fussing over her equipment. The geophysicist, Thornton, has already decided that she's an earth-bound goddess, and has spent most of his time here either smiling dopily at her or expounding on just how unusual daily eclipses are.
Jack takes a step to the side and ends up close enough for our sleeves to brush lightly. I keep my eyes on Sam's machines. If he's smiling at me again, I'll just... I don't know. Something. This would all be great if I didn't know he was being influenced by something. It can't last, and I can't let myself get used to it.
"Danny."
I grind my teeth together and resolutely stare straight ahead. If he ruffles my hair one more time...
"Hey. Daniel."
Okay, fine. "Yes, Jack?" Still not looking at him.
"Look at me."
I sigh and slowly turn to face him, making sure I look martyred and put- upon. He's got his BDU jacket off and is standing there in his black tee, his hands on his hips, smiling. He's got that look that says he's really making an effort to be charming, and boy is it paying off. I can feel my traitor mouth smiling back at him.
"Something wrong, Danny?"
"Nope. I'm fine."
"Okay then, you better get ready," he says.
"Ready?"
He grins a little wider and reaches casually into my shirt pocket, pulling out my prescription sunglasses. I lean back slightly as he goes to put them on my face, but he just moves with me, undeterred. The next thing I know, he's sliding them into place, letting his fingertips trace over my ears and down the sides of my neck before he pulls back.
"Jack," I hiss warningly. We're out here in front of everyone, doesn't he realize that?
"Just watching out for your eyes, Daniel." And then, in a voice pitched only for my ears: "Wouldn't want to damage something so pretty."
Pretty? Did he just tell me I have pretty eyes? I don't know whether I should be flattered or insulted. I mean, pretty is something you say to a woman. But still... coming from Jack, it's not so bad.
"It's starting!" Thornton calls, and I quickly retreat from Jack's side. He slides on his own sunglasses, unconcerned, and watches the sky.
"Here," Sam says, handing out several pieces of blackened glass. "Watch through this."
Teal'c eyes the thing dubiously and then holds it up in front of his face with a distinct air of 'I'm only doing this to humor you.'
Only Jack eschews the glass and watches the same way he watched the last two, with nothing but his sunglasses to protect him. Sam frowns at this, but knows how to pick her battles, and it's clear she's not going to win this one. Thornton is gaping at the sky, his own blackened glass held in front of his face like a shield. I've seen the show twice already, but this is the first time I can watch it fully, feeling safe behind my glass.
We're all silent as it happens, and except for the odd sound of insects chirping during the day and the beeping of Sam's machines, it's quiet. I can hear Jack beside me, breathing. He's sidled closer again. I consider moving away, but I stand my ground. There's nothing to be afraid of.
"Sir, this is amazing," Sam says, alternating between staring at her computer readout and watching the eclipse. We've reached totality again, and through my blackened glass, I see what looks like a ring of fire.
"Yes," Jack says simply.
"I mean, the light," Sam elaborates. "It's coming in pulses. Very small, very rapid pulses, in an erratic pattern... I'll have to study it further to tell more... this isn't random, sir. That moon, or whatever it is, is altering the light that reaches us during the eclipse."
"Didn't I say that?" Jack smirks.
Sam smiles, but I'm positive she rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses. "Yes, sir."
So the eclipse is doing funny things to the light. That has to be why—but come on. Light pulses affecting Jack's behavior? Isn't that a bit of a reach?
Not really. What about when he had the ancient's knowledge downloaded into his brain? That was just a few seconds of staring into what Teal'c described as colored, moving lights, and it sure as hell affected his behavior.
Well, yeah, true, but this isn't the same. He's still perfectly healthy and happy, and he's only acting a little different, and I'm sure that he's fine.
Are you? Or do you just not want it to end? If you tell Sam how he's been acting differently, she'll want to take him back to the SGC and Janet will do her thing and it'll be all over.
Which would be good. Because nothing can ever happen with us anyway, because he doesn't feel that way. He's confused.
So I should tell Sam. Now that we have scientific evidence that the eclipse is not natural and that the light patterns have been altered, I can tell her that Jack has been changed somehow. Report it, do the right thing, and get him the help he needs. I have a responsibility to come forward with this. Keeping to myself is selfish and careless.
Yes. All of that is true. And I'll tell Sam. I will. Soon.
~~~