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"Clubbed"
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It turned out that the part of the conversation that Buffy had missed not ogling Spike had been the arranging of a group get-together at a local club. Forty-five minutes later, they were assembled around one of the high round tables, slouched over beers and diet colas. There was slight awkwardness while waiting for the final members of the group to arrive.

"So," Xander said once the troupe was fully assembled, "let's officially introduce ourselves. Xander," he pointed to himself, ala Tarzan. "I'm on keyboards, which I'm told is almost as sexy as guitar. This here is my lovely girlfriend Anya, who is also our road manager and whatever else she finds to do in the off time. You have an issue, just ask her."

The blonde woman that had been running the auditions smiled and nodded, then went back to stabbing at her cherry with a tiny plastic drink sword. Xander shot her a look of total adoration, then turned and clapped his hand on the back of the man beside him.

"Your turn, dude."

"Oz. Bass." There was a pause. He gestured to the redhead affectionately invading his airspace. "Willow. This is her club. We're engaged." Willow smiled brightly and waved a little. "Hi, Buffy."

"And the handsome devil next to him," Xander continued as ringmaster, "is Spike, as you know from earlier today. He thinks he plays guitar, and we humour him." Spike waved with his glass, and brought it back to his lips with a little eyeroll. "Cheers."

The brunette furrowed his brow. "Dude, where's Sam? I thought she was joining us."

Spike shifted uncomfortably. "She's, uh, working late tonight."

Buffy studiously squeezed a lime into her beer bottle.

Xander raised an eyebrow at the Brit, but didn't comment. He turned to the two girls with renewed cheer. "Now you try."

Buffy jumped a bit, and the lime popped through the opening of the bottle bottle with a suction noise. She'd been daydreaming. Slightly. "Oh! Um, okay. I'm Buffy Summers, I sing, and" she laughed nervously "...I feel like a first grader."

The brunette to her left raised her Coke, forstalling further embarrassment. "And I'm Dawn, the first grader's sister. I drum loudly."

"Here here," Willow raised her glass. "May I be the first to say: 'Parker Who?'"

Buffy and Dawn both laughed nervously, not totally sure where this was going.

Oz noticed their discomfort. "How much do you know about that?" he asked.

Dawn shrugged. "Just the standard People line: Lead singer and drummer OD while sampling LA club scene, wake up in hospital jobless."

"That's pretty much it," Xander agreed. "They're stuck in detox for a while, and since the tour is starting in four days..."

"Three, now," Anya corrected.

"Right. Three days, we're in a bit of a scheduling conflict."

"And when they get out of rehab?" Buffy was loathe to ask, but she needed to know if they should be jobsearching on the road.

"Parker's out," Spike spoke up suddenly and vehemently. "That little prick's far more trouble than 'e's worth." He pointed at Oz and Xander. "And I never did like Devon."

"Wait," Dawn interrupted. "Wasn't Devon a founding member?"

"No," Spike answered.

"Technically, our first vocalist was a guy named Jesse. But back then, it really didn't look like the band was going anywhere, so he packed up his mics and went into dentistry."

"He left before you got famous," Buffy realized. "Wow. That sucks."

"Yeah. But he didn't really have star quality, anyway. Awesome dentist, though."

"Once we got Devon, things got better pretty quick."

"Of course, we brought Spike in around the same time, so he likes to think it was his influence that brought on the gold and glory." Spike rolled his eyes, but made no move to correct the statement.

Dawn scrunched at him. "So you're not an original member either? Just you two?" She peace-sign pointed at Xander and Oz.

"From parents' basement to VH1."

"Paltry guitarists and vocalists may change with time, but immortal remain the bass and keyboards."

"Not that we anticipate you leaving," Anya felt obliged to add. "Unless of course you fail to mesh with the group or prove to be a liability."

Xander put a hand to his face, then leaned over and whispered into his girlfriend's ear. She turned to him, all logic. "Well, then you shouldn't have said it."

"I'm meshy! We're both, very meshable," Buffy said.

"And we don't smoke crack," Dawn added.

"Plus: really low maintanance."

Dawn nodded. "Yeah. All we need is a little water and some indirect sunlight, and we keep for days."

"Don't worry, luvs," Spike drawled. "You were hired this afternoon by majority vote."

"Yeah! And you're part of the family now!" Willow said. She smiled reassuringly. "It'll be nice to have some female companionship on the road."

Anya leaned across Xander to frown at the redhead. "What about me?"

"Oh, well, you know," Willow covered. "You're so busy, doing ...important things, I hate to bother--"

"Sam!" Xander suddenly called out. "Hey, over here!"

Spike grimaced. "Oh, bugg--"

A slender brunette woman in red-tone chic came up to the table. She gave the stiffened Spike a peck on the mouth, and smiled brightly at the table with straight white teeth. Buffy instantly hated her. Sam, unaware of the propless voodoo being directed her way, just kept smiling.

"Hey, everybody! Sorry I'm late, the studio was the fifth ring..." She pulled off her outer jacket to reveal a ruby sequined tube top. She handed the jacket to Spike and turned to the table at large. "So, how was the day over in audition-country?"

"Painful." This from Oz. Willow gave him a sympathetic pat on the hand. Behind Sam, Spike was trying to figure out what to do with her jacket. He bounced back and forth between hanging it on her chair and just holding it in his lap. Or possibly dropping it on the floor.

"It was that," Xander clapped his hands. "But, hey, fruitful! Meet the newest members of XCOD: Buffy and Dawn Summers."

Sam blinked at the sisters as if just now seeing them. "You're the new band members?" She shot Spike a look. "How nice..." She ran her eyes up and down Buffy's form, and visibly bristled, still smiling brittly. "I didn't expect you to be so ...female."

"Neither did we," Oz said. "Everyone else sucked."

Sam eyed the other brunette girl suspiciously. "So you were hired by default."

"Sam!" Spike glanced at the blushing sisters and pulled his girlfriend down into a chair. He hung the coat on the stool back. "They were hired because they're great musicians." He pecked her on the cheek and spoke into her ear. "We'll have no cat fighting until we get the video cameras set up."

Xander and Oz shared a look at Spike's seemingly abrupt change of opinion.

Sam giggled and whapped Spike lightly on the leg. She turned back to Buffy and Dawn, reeking insincerity. "I'm sorry, I was just expecting some attractive men. You can understand my dissappointment. It's really is nice to meet you."

"Really. No biggie," said Buffy.

"So! What other projects have you been in?"

"Projects?" Dawn asked.

"You know," Sam gestured. "Bands, studio works, whatever."

Dawn and Buffy looked at each other.

"Um..."

"Do street corners count?"

****

Oh, I'm sorry. Does Sam have 'EXPENDABLE' stamped across her forehead?

Forgive me.

You should review. Anya says it's polite.

~Star Mouse
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