~ CHAPTER 2 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~
SEE TROUBLE IN FURTHER TORMENT
Holly Short was not the kind of fairy who was picky about their food. She did not usually leave the Recon complex for lunch. Most days, she would simply run downstairs to the Shake Express machine, and gulp down an atrociously over-priced Walnut Delight Complete Meal Replacement, or take one to go for the chutes. The Police Plaza kitchens made these shakes itself. They were formulated by expert nutritionists, and each shake had just the right amount of vitamins, minerals, polyunsaturated fats, monosaccharides, amino acids, nucleic acids, and caffeine to keep officers vigorous and vigilant for the whole day.
Holly hated them. They had a disgustingly bland, synthetic taste, and the artificial flavourings did not help mask the whole chemicalness. But Holly was not picky about food. Plus, they were quick and convenient, and Root always made sure the 'girlie' was kept busy. Today, Holly wondered vaguely why Root did not bombard her with work before lunch.
Sitting across from Trouble in Dacheepo, Holly flipped through a worn-out menu, anticipating a more decent meal. As she turned to Appetizers, the booklet fell apart completely. The pages fell to the tabletop, broke into pieces, and then disintegrated into dust. Holly politely asked for another menu. The dust was swept away.
Holly looked at Trouble, who was still hiding adamantly behind his menu. She could only see his ears, and they were a violent violet. Marigold came over with iced water and asked to take their order.
"I'll have the Chef's Special lunch platter, thanks," Holly decided.
Marigold gave her an ominous grin.
Trouble said, "Give me the volcano burger with extra wallo-lava hot sauce, and a bowl of three-bean chilli." If his throat burned up, Trouble reasoned, he wouldn't need to talk to Holly.
Marigold picked up Holly's menu, tugged away Trouble's, and sidled away. Trouble took to staring interestedly at a nonexistent saltshaker. Holly sighed and attempted conversation.
"Captain Kelp," she began.
Trouble blurted out something incoherent.
"Pardon?"
"Call-me-Trouble," he replied tautly in monotone.
Holly heaved a silent sigh. She was not stupid. Back in the LEP building, as soon as she had heard Lily Frond mooning over Trouble by her doorway, Holly had an inkling of what was up. Holly agreed to lunch out of friendship and respect to Captain Kelp. She did not want to embarrass or crush him down like she did to most officers that fancied her. After the B'wa Kell revolt, Holly and Trouble became acquaintances. Then, after Artemis Fowl's C-Cube incident, they became friends. Holly was always aware of the fact that she was still a female Recon officer, and hoped that wouldn't change anything in their relationship.
But, apparently, it had.
All because she was a girl. It frustrated her. And this, Holly remembered dourly, was exactly another thing Commander Root had warned her about being a female Recon officer. At that time, Holly had snorted and told Root it would not be a problem. Now, she had to admit it was a problem. From the list of the things Holly hated most, admitting Root was right about something was just before getting stuck with a major wedgie in a public place.
It felt at least two inches deep between her buttocks. She shifted in her chair uncomfortably.
Not that there was anything wrong about Trouble Kelp in particular, Holly thought, looking at him. (Trouble was busy drinking iced water with his eyes closed.) Trouble was rather handsome, and he certainly was brave, fearless, and daring, among many other synonymous qualities. Holly only found him a bit pompous, sometimes taking unfair advantage of his rank and ordering corporals to do questionable things like polishing his boots.
Overall, though, Holly might have liked Trouble, if Root had not pointed out she was a girl and male members of the LEP were liable to become attracted to her, resulting in broken concentration, broken tasks, broken hearts, broken bones, and god knows what else. And when it came to love interests and proving her rightness to Julius Root, the latter always came first.
By this time, Trouble had finished drinking his glass of iced water, and was halfway through drinking Holly's. He kept his eyes shut tight.
Holly tried for conversation again, "That Lily Frond seems quite fond of you."
Trouble gulped down an ice cube whole. It slid slowly down his esophagus and melted weirdly in his stomach. He grabbed Holly's hands impulsively and his stomach was suddenly fiery hot again.
Someone from table six gave a wolf-whistle. A few other guys laughed.
"Please. Don't talk to me about her," Trouble said, in a constricted, nevertheless vehement voice.
"I'm getting tired of this, Trouble," Holly said frankly, ignoring further whistling from table six, "It's obvious you're uncomfortable because you like me and you're taking me out-" Holly paused. Trouble was shaking his head vigorously and looking at her in the eye with a peculiar expression, like he was trying to tell her something he wasn't allowed to.
"What is it?" Holly asked quietly, "Can you talk about it?"
Trouble shook his head harder, realized he was holding Holly's hands, and let go.
He looked furtively around the diner, cast his gaze downwards, and motioned with one finger for Holly to lean closer. She did. Barely moving his lips, Trouble breathed, "Holly, you're still just a friend to me. I don't fancy you. I like..." he flushed purple again, "Lily Frond. I lost a bet with Foaly, and now I'm supposed to take you out for lunch and then kiss you."
Holly drew back promptly and gaped, speechless, at Trouble.
All of a sudden, one hundred volts of direct current shot through Trouble's body. He spasmed for five electrifying seconds, and then collapsed, his face falling flat into the plate of three-bean chilli Marigold had just conveniently placed before him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Across the street, in the operations booth, Foaly shut a silver switch to OFF, and fell back in his chair, laughing and stamping his hooves in fits of hysteria. On the monitor, Holly and Grub rushed Trouble out the diner on a set of wings.
It was definitely worth the trouble to plant the microelectrodes on the inside of his uniform, Foaly thought, gasping for breath.
Definitely worth the trouble.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ END
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that! I spent the whole day ploughing sluggishly through it. If it sounds a bit funny in places, please tell me. I don't own copies of the AF books and I'm very tired today... It's spring break (no school!) and I'm still sleeping 5 hours a night. Now I'm wondering whether I should continue it. I do have ideas for further chapters, but the story seems to end nicely here too... What do you think? Please review!
- D'arvit Tyranny
:)
SEE TROUBLE IN FURTHER TORMENT
Holly Short was not the kind of fairy who was picky about their food. She did not usually leave the Recon complex for lunch. Most days, she would simply run downstairs to the Shake Express machine, and gulp down an atrociously over-priced Walnut Delight Complete Meal Replacement, or take one to go for the chutes. The Police Plaza kitchens made these shakes itself. They were formulated by expert nutritionists, and each shake had just the right amount of vitamins, minerals, polyunsaturated fats, monosaccharides, amino acids, nucleic acids, and caffeine to keep officers vigorous and vigilant for the whole day.
Holly hated them. They had a disgustingly bland, synthetic taste, and the artificial flavourings did not help mask the whole chemicalness. But Holly was not picky about food. Plus, they were quick and convenient, and Root always made sure the 'girlie' was kept busy. Today, Holly wondered vaguely why Root did not bombard her with work before lunch.
Sitting across from Trouble in Dacheepo, Holly flipped through a worn-out menu, anticipating a more decent meal. As she turned to Appetizers, the booklet fell apart completely. The pages fell to the tabletop, broke into pieces, and then disintegrated into dust. Holly politely asked for another menu. The dust was swept away.
Holly looked at Trouble, who was still hiding adamantly behind his menu. She could only see his ears, and they were a violent violet. Marigold came over with iced water and asked to take their order.
"I'll have the Chef's Special lunch platter, thanks," Holly decided.
Marigold gave her an ominous grin.
Trouble said, "Give me the volcano burger with extra wallo-lava hot sauce, and a bowl of three-bean chilli." If his throat burned up, Trouble reasoned, he wouldn't need to talk to Holly.
Marigold picked up Holly's menu, tugged away Trouble's, and sidled away. Trouble took to staring interestedly at a nonexistent saltshaker. Holly sighed and attempted conversation.
"Captain Kelp," she began.
Trouble blurted out something incoherent.
"Pardon?"
"Call-me-Trouble," he replied tautly in monotone.
Holly heaved a silent sigh. She was not stupid. Back in the LEP building, as soon as she had heard Lily Frond mooning over Trouble by her doorway, Holly had an inkling of what was up. Holly agreed to lunch out of friendship and respect to Captain Kelp. She did not want to embarrass or crush him down like she did to most officers that fancied her. After the B'wa Kell revolt, Holly and Trouble became acquaintances. Then, after Artemis Fowl's C-Cube incident, they became friends. Holly was always aware of the fact that she was still a female Recon officer, and hoped that wouldn't change anything in their relationship.
But, apparently, it had.
All because she was a girl. It frustrated her. And this, Holly remembered dourly, was exactly another thing Commander Root had warned her about being a female Recon officer. At that time, Holly had snorted and told Root it would not be a problem. Now, she had to admit it was a problem. From the list of the things Holly hated most, admitting Root was right about something was just before getting stuck with a major wedgie in a public place.
It felt at least two inches deep between her buttocks. She shifted in her chair uncomfortably.
Not that there was anything wrong about Trouble Kelp in particular, Holly thought, looking at him. (Trouble was busy drinking iced water with his eyes closed.) Trouble was rather handsome, and he certainly was brave, fearless, and daring, among many other synonymous qualities. Holly only found him a bit pompous, sometimes taking unfair advantage of his rank and ordering corporals to do questionable things like polishing his boots.
Overall, though, Holly might have liked Trouble, if Root had not pointed out she was a girl and male members of the LEP were liable to become attracted to her, resulting in broken concentration, broken tasks, broken hearts, broken bones, and god knows what else. And when it came to love interests and proving her rightness to Julius Root, the latter always came first.
By this time, Trouble had finished drinking his glass of iced water, and was halfway through drinking Holly's. He kept his eyes shut tight.
Holly tried for conversation again, "That Lily Frond seems quite fond of you."
Trouble gulped down an ice cube whole. It slid slowly down his esophagus and melted weirdly in his stomach. He grabbed Holly's hands impulsively and his stomach was suddenly fiery hot again.
Someone from table six gave a wolf-whistle. A few other guys laughed.
"Please. Don't talk to me about her," Trouble said, in a constricted, nevertheless vehement voice.
"I'm getting tired of this, Trouble," Holly said frankly, ignoring further whistling from table six, "It's obvious you're uncomfortable because you like me and you're taking me out-" Holly paused. Trouble was shaking his head vigorously and looking at her in the eye with a peculiar expression, like he was trying to tell her something he wasn't allowed to.
"What is it?" Holly asked quietly, "Can you talk about it?"
Trouble shook his head harder, realized he was holding Holly's hands, and let go.
He looked furtively around the diner, cast his gaze downwards, and motioned with one finger for Holly to lean closer. She did. Barely moving his lips, Trouble breathed, "Holly, you're still just a friend to me. I don't fancy you. I like..." he flushed purple again, "Lily Frond. I lost a bet with Foaly, and now I'm supposed to take you out for lunch and then kiss you."
Holly drew back promptly and gaped, speechless, at Trouble.
All of a sudden, one hundred volts of direct current shot through Trouble's body. He spasmed for five electrifying seconds, and then collapsed, his face falling flat into the plate of three-bean chilli Marigold had just conveniently placed before him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Across the street, in the operations booth, Foaly shut a silver switch to OFF, and fell back in his chair, laughing and stamping his hooves in fits of hysteria. On the monitor, Holly and Grub rushed Trouble out the diner on a set of wings.
It was definitely worth the trouble to plant the microelectrodes on the inside of his uniform, Foaly thought, gasping for breath.
Definitely worth the trouble.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ END
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that! I spent the whole day ploughing sluggishly through it. If it sounds a bit funny in places, please tell me. I don't own copies of the AF books and I'm very tired today... It's spring break (no school!) and I'm still sleeping 5 hours a night. Now I'm wondering whether I should continue it. I do have ideas for further chapters, but the story seems to end nicely here too... What do you think? Please review!
- D'arvit Tyranny
:)