Whoa. Sorry for taking such a long time to update! I have my reasons. But I hope you'll be happy with this chapter. It's quite long! Ok epilogue should be in the next chapter… I hope.
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"noooo…."
A singular word managed to escape though the lips parted in gasping for breath. Sanzo was getting quite fairly irritated by now. Doing nothing but stare at Goku was beginning to get to him. He doctor had been conveniently dozing in and out of sleep while the Thirty-first Toa Genjyo Sanzo was fraught with enough worry to even blink.
Seeing that the doctor was currently in an unconscious state of mind, Sanzo thought it safe to move closer to Goku. He slowly got up from the chair, keeping his vision on the doctor for any sign of waking up and moved over to sit next to Goku on the bed.
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"Sanzo…?"
Goku carefully implored into lifeless, cold, amethyst eyes. Goku knew Sanzo's eyes very well. He had been looking at them almost all of the parts of his life that he could remember, and those on the blond was definitely not his.
Goku knew that Sanzo's eyes were more often than not carefully neutral, only turning cold in annoyance or anger. But Goku knew, beyond that hazy film was warm, soft, caressing, offering him comfort when he needed it most. A gentle touch to accompany it was really all Goku needed to get through life. He never hungered for more, but never expected less. Goku knew when the time was right, things would move on. Sometimes he thought about it, and this was what he came out with.
Right now. All he could do was stared dumbfounded at the Sanzo look-alike in front of him. This couldn't be the Sanzo he had been spending his time with. This wasn't the Sanzo he always bugged; this definitely could not be the Sanzo he… loved?
Goku's mind was in turmoil. Denial. Refusal. He couldn't think straight. Goku clawed his way to Sanzo's feet and tugged at his robes.
"Sanzo? What happened to them? Please? Answer me? You're not leaving me are you? If you wanted you could just walk away from here, please don't kill yourself…"
Goku begged but he still couldn't get anything out of Sanzo. He suddenly wished very much for Sanzo's famous paper fan.
"Are you worried that I might follow you? I promise I won't. How about I leave? Then you wouldn't have to see me? How about that?'
Goku had made up his mind that Sanzo didn't want him anymore. If him leaving would let Sanzo live, then he would. No matter how it would pain him to.
Goku was still greeted by blank eyes. Goku forced himself to let go of Sanzo's robes and move back slightly. Sanzo moved a step backwards. Goku stood up and stumbled backwards, though he was leaving, he wanted to see Sanzo as long as he could for the last time.
He had taken no more than a few steps did he realize every step he took, Sanzo took a step closer to the cliff edge.
Goku came to a sudden halt as Sanzo was no more than two steps to the edge.
"Sanzo I…" Goku said as he took a step forward, which resulted in Sanzo taking another step backwards. Goku stiffened, suddenly afraid to move.
Silence ensued for a moment.
…
Then Sanzo took his final step and crumpled over the edge.
Goku's eyes widened.
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Sanzo looked at Goku's sweat drenched forehead. He eyed the doctor and found him asleep. Then he consided it safe to make a quick swipe across Goku's forehead in attempt to dislodge the hair plaster to it. Alas, as soon as he made the faint contact, he was sucked into the distorted nightmare Goku had put himself in.
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"What the f-.."
He stopped short of completing his sentence as he saw Goku, in a distance, crouched on the floor. Staring up at… himself…
"Bloody impersonators…"Sanzo muttered under his breath.
He saw Goku scramble ungracefully backwards and proceeded to jerk himself up. He saw Goku take a few straggled steps backwards before he stopped. He saw Goku's mouth opening and closing; Sanzo was too far to hear what he was saying. Goku then stumbled a step forward. Sanzo figured that he must have somehow entered Goku's dream. He was wondering why Goku was acting so weirdly and how could Goku be having a terrible nightmare about him. The paper fan wasn't even out. The area was quite sparse, nothing except some bushes, trees and a cliff. Maybe he was dreaming about being deprived of food.
Sanzo thought himself right on that reasoning, that was till he saw himself falling off the edge of the cliff. A sense of bewilderment befuddled him for a moment. He was almost tempted to pinch his arm to see if he was still alive. Alas, this was Sanzo you are looking at. Sanzo was confident enough about himself to at least know if he was alive. Besides, he wouldn't end his life jumping over some cliff. Hell. He wouldn't even jump over the damn cliff. Trust the saru with brains for ass to even believe that the bloody impersonator was him.
He turned and saw Goku slump defeated to his knees on the ground. Goku was breathing quite heavily, shoulders heaving as if he could never get another breath into his lungs. Then he saw Goku fall face first onto the sandy ground, causing a puff of dust to swirl around him before settling down to the ground again as if nothing had happened.
Sanzo was surprised at how Goku was looking now. Even at Goku's worst fights had he not ever looked like how he did now. So… defeated? His body limply sprawled on the floor; the only sign of life was the heaving of his back, indicating his gasps for air.
Right there and then did Sanzo realize what Goku's fear was.
"His greatest fear is me…. Me … dieing…"Sanzo was beginning to walk towards Goku when an alluring melodious voice floated through the air. It was compelling even for someone like him. It took Sanzo a moment to decipher that the voice was singing a song and it had words in it.
"Sleep, my love; sleep.
Your soul the night will keep.
Embrace the darkness deep.
Sleep, my love; sleep."
He saw Goku's breathing slow down. A moment of relief flooded through him as he thought the song was calming Goku down. As he looked on and listened carefully did he realize, the song was too calming. It was a song of death, spirits inviting patrons to join them in their endless song of rhapsody.
It was then, did Sanzo break out in a run.
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Goku couldn't take it. His vision blurred. He slumped to his knees. Everything looked so surreal now. Everyone. Dead. Gone. Left him. Now he was all alone. Alone…alone…alone…
Goku didn't have the strength anymore. He fell onto the ground. He didn't care about the puff of dust threatening to choke him as he inhaled breath after breath, struggling to calm himself down.
Right then he heard a song. He couldn't make out its words over his breathing, so he stopped gasping for a moment.
"Sleep, my love; sleep.
Your soul the night will keep.
Embrace the darkness deep.
Sleep, my love; sleep."
He couldn't catch the meaning of the words, but at that point of time, it was making him feel better. He felt drowsiness creep over him. He gladly closed his eyes and let it take over him. For once, he just let go…
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Sanzo skidded to a halt in front of Goku and stared at him as he took a breath and sighed. Goku didn't move anymore. Now Sanzo was really panicking. He knelt at Goku's side.
"Oi, Saru." Sanzo said in the most commanding tone he could muster and shook Goku.
No reply.
He shook a little harder this time.
After nil response, he shook Goku violently but stopped after awhile. He couldn't stand seeing Goku's head lolling side to side lifelessly as he shook him. Sanzo was a little dazed. He never thought this day would ever happen. He always thought that Goku would always be by his side. He never thought Goku would leave before him. His eyes started to blur. He blinked to try to get his vision back. It trailed down his face. He didn't care though, because all of a sudden he was at a loss for words and ideas, all he could do was kneel there, clasping Goku's shirt tightly in his hands.
Suddenly, new words flooded his mind. At first he didn't want to register them, but it kept insistently pushing at him. Finally he let them in.
The sole female singing it sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't have time to place whom the person was. Suddenly he knew what to do. And he did it.
"Wake, love, for this time wake.
Your soul, my hand does take.
Leave the darkness deep.
Leave your endless sleep."
He bent over Goku and repeated the words he heard softly in his baritone voice into Goku's ear. He stopped for a moment before repeating it louder this time. Sanzo was determined that this would work, and if it didn't work now, he would spend the rest of his life doing it.
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Goku was walking in darkness. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't care. He just kept walking and walking. Just then, white hands appeared before him. It didn't seem like they were inviting him, more like trying to grab him while they could, pulling him with them. Goku knew danger when he saw it. But this time, he didn't acknowledge it. He just fell into it.
He was letting himself get carried away by the white hands. Their touch cold and lifeless, just like how he felt.
Just then he heard a voice. A very familiar voice. He knew the voice, he was sure of it. He opened his eyes, but all he could see was dozens of hands clawing him, dragging him to the unknown. The voice was repeating ceaselessly. Goku began to fight weakly against their grasp. Each time he heard the voice; Goku came closer to recognizing it.
At the third time he heard the strange verse being repeated over and over again to him, it was then did it strike him who it was.
"Sanzo…."
Goku fought with renewed vigor. He struggled his way through but each time they just kept pulling him back. He twisted around to get them to release their grip and saw no faces to the hands. They were just mindless things without a soul, images of what they once must have been or what they were meant to be, Goku did not know. All he knew was that he needed to get away from them now.
The hands were getting rougher now, clawing viciously at him, drawing blood where they touched. They were grabbing any part of him they could, his arms, legs, and neck. Goku could barely breathe. He mustered all his strength and made one final leap.
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Sanzo didn't understand why numerous cuts and scratches were appearing all over Goku. He faltered slightly in his new mantra as he saw crimson liquid swell and drop out of them. He was beginning to have doubts in his method, but what else did he have? He continued anyway with less enthusiasm then he did before, trying to wipe away some of the blood flowing out of the mysterious cuts on Goku's face with his robes.
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He didn't hit solid ground. Goku wasn't counting on that. At least got away from the cold hands. Goku felt himself falling and falling, he couldn't see anything. He wasn't sure if it was because it was pitch black wherever he was or if he had turned blind.
He still heard Sanzo's voice. It was faltering and getting softer. Goku was praying he wasn't falling further away from Sanzo. Then he suddenly realized, his surroundings were getting brighter. They grew brighter every distance he fell, he felt like he was falling forever. It grew so bright; it hurt Goku's eyes. Goku was almost sure that if he weren't already blind, this light would have blinded him.
Everything became very distorted, he couldn't hear Sanzo anymore, he couldn't concentrate on anything anymore. He felt pain everywhere; he squeezed his eyes shut wishing everything would go away.
Then, he felt his body slam on solid ground. He took a big gasp before darkness enveloped him.
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Sanzo was getting tired. He placed his head gingerly on Goku's chest and closed his eyes. It was useless. He was just blindly repeating words he had neither knew nor heard till now. It was completely utterly use-…
Sanzo felt his head being pushed up once. Then consecutively in random order till it fell into a steady rhythm.
Sanzo's head jerked up.
"Goku…breathing…"
For a moment he stared, dumbfounded at Goku's chest rising and falling, indicating life.
Then he grabbed Goku up in a crushing embrace.
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The doctor creaked his eyes open a millimeter, then closed again. Snapped open with new rigor as he noticed the strange sight before him.
The priest was hovering above the patient with just his fingertips barely making contact with the patient's forehead. His eyes were closed, a look of immense concentration over it.
The patient wasn't breathing.
The doctor didn't know what to do. All he could do then was sit there and watch.
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