***
Here ya go, chapter 3! Warning: total angst ahead, but hey, no cliff! *g*
Just a small clarification: There's been a little confusion about the endings. This fic has 2 completely different endings. In one, B/A do not reunite, though that's not to say 1 or both do not end up happy. And in the other ending, there is the traditional B/A happily-ever-after. Both are written (only need revisions), so don't worry that I'll decide to only stick with one of them. They will both be posted.
My thanks and appreciation go out to everyone who sent feedback on ch2. The response I got was absolute amazing. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this fic!!
Enjoy,
~Isis
***
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 3
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Buffy was sure for a moment that she'd heard him wrong. Married? Angel was getting married? No, that couldn't possibly be true. He hadn't just said that. It had to be her fears getting the best of her. Deep down, though, she knew she was just lying to herself. But she needed to hear it again just to be sure.
"Y-you're what?" she stuttered in a harsh whisper.
He didn't answer right away. Instead, Angel stood from the bed and cautiously walked toward her numb body. When he was a foot away, he finally repeated the words. "I'm getting married tomorrow."
This time she knew she'd heard him correctly. Angel, her Angel, was getting married. He'd made love to her all night long only to throw it back in her face by telling her he was getting married. How could he? How could he do this to her? How could he make love to her all the while knowing he was getting married? How could he get married to someone else?
"I'm sorry," he reached his hand out to grasp her arm.
"Don't touch me!" she snapped at him, trying to pull away but his grip on her arm tightened.
"Buffy, please! We have to talk-."
"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!" Buffy screamed loudly, this time managing to twist away from him. She stumbled toward the bed, tears beginning to blind her vision.
"Buffy," Angel stepped toward her.
"Get. Away. From. Me!" She backed up, her knees banging into the bed.
Wildly, her eyes scanned the room, searching for an escape. She didn't want him anywhere near her. She didn't want to look into the eyes of the man who had just betrayed every single dream she'd ever had. He was supposed to be hers. They were supposed to have forever together. Wasn't that the whole point?
Obviously not if he was getting married. When had he given up on their hope? Why hadn't he told her? How long had he been human? So many questions. So many answers that didn't matter. He was getting married. To someone else. Period. End of story.
"Please, Buffy...we need to talk," Angel ignored her plea.
"You fucking bastard! How could you?" Rage burned inside of her, blocking out any logical reasoning. Without thinking, she picked up the lamp on the nightstand and threw it at Angel's head.
The projectile glanced off his temple, creating a small gash, before shattering against the wall behind him. Angel stumbled back a step in shock over the violent action before regaining his balance. His hand reached up to touch the bleeding wound and winced when his fingers came into contact with the cut. Ignoring the pain, he again focused on trying to calm the raging blonde.
"Buffy, pl-," Angel hadn't even finished the sentence when an alarm clock came flying at his head. This time he managed to duck before it connected with his flesh.
"GET OUT!" Buffy half sobbed, half screamed in anger.
Angel again ignored her words and walked toward her. He was only mildly surprised when her hand reached out and slapped him, causing his head to whip sideways. The Slayer strength blow on his very human body made his jaw ache, but he brushed off the pain. He knew he deserved it. He knew Buffy had every right to be furious with him. Still, he also knew they needed to talk. They needed to settle this
Seeing Angel's continued approached, Buffy darted away. "Don't come near me!"
"Buffy," he sighed, running a distressed hand over his face.
"Get. Out!" she ground out forcefully.
"I'm sor-."
"GET OUT!"
"Bu-."
"I. Said. Get. Out." Buffy repeated, her whole body trembling because of the rage inside of her.
Angel stared mutely at her for a minute longer for gathering his clothes and pulling them onto his body. Once dressed, he took a few steps towards the door before turning to face Buffy again. He didn't want to leave things like this, but there didn't appear to be any way of reasoning with her at the moment.
"I'm sorry," he dejectedly mumbled one last time.
"GET OUT!" Her voice was hoarse as she screamed at him once more. "AND DON'T EVER COME BACK!"
Sensing it was hopeless to try and talk to her now, Angel finally relented. Staring at her for a few seconds longer, he bowed his head and walked to the door. He fought back the urge to say anything else and instead left the room without another word. Once out of the room, he slumped against the closed door and startled when he heard and felt something shatter against it from the other side. With slumped shoulders, and a guilt laden conscience, he slowly walked away from the woman whose heart he had just broken yet again.
Inside, Buffy collapsed to the floor sobbing the second the door closed. Her knees curled up to her chest as she cried for long held dreams that were forever shattered. She'd always hoped that they would someday have a chance. When he'd come to Sunnydale all those years ago before the big battle with the First she'd told him the truth when she said she needed to grow before she could think of the future. And now that she had finally begun to settle into life, now that all of the barriers that kept him from her were gone, now that all the doors were open to them, he was marrying someone else. She'd always thought Fate had it in for her, but this was the cruelest twist of the knife yet.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, Willow stood outside the door to Buffy's hotel room having gotten a phone call from Angel twenty minutes earlier. She raised her hand to knock on the sturdy wood and waited for her friend to answer. When the door didn't open, the redhead knocked again, but still received no answer. She knew Buffy had to be in there. The clerk downstairs told her that Buffy hadn't checked out and he hadn't seen her leave either.
"Buffy?" Willow called out loudly. "It's Willow."
Still no answer. "Buffy, please open the door."
Receiving no acknowledgement of her presence, Willow muttered a simple spell that unlocked the door and allowed her to enter. Upon moving into the room, an audible gasp fell from her lips. Everything was in tatters. Broken glass lay scattered around the floor, the small coffee table was tipped over on its side, what looked like sheets were shredded and piled on the floor in front of the bed, and her friend lay unmoving on the bed's bare mattress.
"Oh my God! Buffy!" Willow raced to Buffy's side. "What happened?"
The blonde neither moved nor spoke, causing Willow's concern to increase. She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and released a relieved sigh when she saw the steady rise and fall of Buffy's chest signaling that her friend was still alive. The blank, empty stare of Buffy's eyes, though, frightened her.
"Buffy?" Willow spoke softly, taking one of Buffy's hands in hers.
For a minute, Willow got no response, but as she was about to speak again, Buffy's eyes blinked and slowly moved to focus on her. "Willow?"
"Are you okay? What happened?" the redhead reached up and brushed some of the tangled blonde hair off of Buffy's face.
"Oh, Willow," Buffy started before sobs once again overwhelmed her.
She didn't resist when her friend pulled her into her arms and cried against the soft material of Willow's sweater. For long minutes, she clung to the redhead, saying nothing. Just as her sobs began to subside, a thought suddenly occurred to Buffy. Frantically, she scrambled out of Willow's embrace, nearly falling off the bed in the process.
"Buffy? What's wrong?" Willow quickly rose from the bed, not understanding Buffy's actions.
"How did you know I was here?" Buffy swiped at her still falling tears and asked the question that had popped into her head.
"What?" Willow frowned in confusion.
"How did you know where I was?" Buffy repeated, nausea rising in her stomach, her suspicions growing.
"Angel called me," replied Willow without really thinking. Though once the words left her mouth she realized what they meant.
"You knew didn't you?!?" Buffy took a step back, anger once again beginning to take over.
Willow's guilty, avoiding gaze was enough to answer her question. Willow, her best friend in the whole world, had known about Angel, had known about his humanity, had known about his upcoming marriage and had never bothered to tell her. Buffy's very world was crumbling before her eyes. The anger that was running through her veins, slowly receded, replaced by a numbing cold.
"You knew and you didn't tell me." This time her voice was frigid, lacking any semblance of emotion.
"I'm s-sorry," Willow stuttered, unable to meet Buffy's eyes.
"Yeah, you're sorry. Everyone's sorry," Buffy laughed maniacally. "I thought you were my friend."
"I am!" Willow whispered, the pleading tone of her words lost on Buffy.
"Some friend," snorted Buffy, shaking her head. "How could you not tell me?"
"I-I..." Willow trailed off having no clue how to answer. It had been her words to Angel about Buffy's great new life that had made him feel the need to not tell her about his humanity and the engagement. She'd disagreed with his decision at first, but eventually came to believe it was best for Buffy.
"Who else knows? Giles? Xander?" Buffy bit out. When Willow made no attempt to deny the claim, she laughed again. "I see. This is some big 'Buffy's too stupid to know anything' deal again, right?"
"Buffy, you have to unders-."
"Shut up!" Buffy snarled at her causing the redhead to flinch. "I don't have to understand anything!"
"We didn't think...it's been seven years since he left you Buffy," Willow tried to defend not only herself, but the others who had known as well.
"You think that matters?" Buffy shook her head, fighting back another sob rising in her throat. "You don't get it. None of you ever got it!"
"Got what?" Willow wanted to know.
Buffy continued on, Willow's question not even registering. "He's the one man I've ever truly loved. Why do you think Riley left me? Why do you think I've never dated since then? No one could ever take his place in my heart! It doesn't matter how long he was gone or that he left me. It never mattered!" She fell to her knees, unable to hold back the sobs any longer.
"Oh, Buffy! I'm so sorry!" Willow knelt down next to Buffy and tried to comfort her, but Buffy would have none of it and pushed her away.
"Yeah, I'm sure you're so sorry," Buffy stumbled to her feet. "Poor, Buffy, too stupid and immature to make her own decisions!"
"No! Buffy, we don't think that," Willow cried desperately.
"Coulda fooled me! Or are you forgetting about the time I was kicked out of my own house?" Buffy snapped angrily.
Willow's jaw dropped at the reminder of what had happened not long before the battle against the First. In all the years that had passed Buffy never mentioned the events of that night. It shocked her to hear it brought up after so much time.
"Nothing to say to that?" Buffy raised an eyebrow. "God, you all make me sick!"
"I'm sorry! I-I should have told you about Angel," Willow admitted her guilt.
"You're damn right you should have! I...I thought..." Buffy backed further away from Willow. The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on her. Memories of the previous night with Angel invaded her senses as her eyes darted around the room. "I can't do this. I-I can't be here."
Before Willow could stop her, Buffy bolted from the room. By the time she made her feet move to take her out into the hallway, the blonde was no where to be found.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
For hours Buffy wandered aimlessly around the streets of Los Angeles having no idea where to go, or what to do. A dense fog had settled in her mind, clouding any an all judgment. More than once a perfect stranger had approached the teary-eyed, dazed blonde and asked her if she was okay, but Buffy always brushed off their concern. She didn't want comfort. She didn't want anything, well except maybe for the last twenty-four hours to have not occurred.
Her heart ached with everything that had been heaped upon her this day. The time spent with Angel and then his not so little revelation were enough to send her in a tailspin, but then to find out that Willow, and likely others as well, knew was just too much. She didn't understand any of it. How could Angel have not told her about the changes in his life? How could Willow have hidden something so important from her?
The last two years had been spent building a life for herself, one outside of chaos, demons and death. She'd made a place for herself in the world. Maybe she'd never consciously thought about it, but in the back of her mind the whisperings were always there that this was her time to grow and be ready for a future that would hopefully include Angel. And now that dream was nothing more than a lonely girl's fantasy that would never come true.
Everything around her seemed darker at that knowledge; the air a little less refreshing, the sun a little less bright. Every ounce of peace she'd built up over the last two years was suddenly gone. She couldn't help but blame herself for believing in childish dreams of true love and forever. Real people didn't get those things. They only existed in movies and fairy tales. She should have known that life wouldn't give her the one thing she'd only ever truly wanted: Angel.
As the sun began to set, Buffy wondered what she was supposed to do with herself now. She didn't want to go back to her hotel room. Someone would probably be waiting for her and she had no desire to talk to any of the hypocrites that were supposed to be her friends. Briefly she contemplated going back home; to San Francisco, but that idea held even less appeal. That place would only be a reminder of the life that now meant nothing. She needed to go somewhere that had no attachment to anything.
Without really thinking about her plans, Buffy made her way to the nearest ATM. She silently thanked herself for putting on the pants that her wallet was in and used her bank-card to withdraw almost everything out of her checking account.
Possessing only a hefty sum of cash, the clothes on her back, and her wallet, Buffy headed for the nearest bus station. Where she was going she didn't know, and really, she didn't care.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!!
Here ya go, chapter 3! Warning: total angst ahead, but hey, no cliff! *g*
Just a small clarification: There's been a little confusion about the endings. This fic has 2 completely different endings. In one, B/A do not reunite, though that's not to say 1 or both do not end up happy. And in the other ending, there is the traditional B/A happily-ever-after. Both are written (only need revisions), so don't worry that I'll decide to only stick with one of them. They will both be posted.
My thanks and appreciation go out to everyone who sent feedback on ch2. The response I got was absolute amazing. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this fic!!
Enjoy,
~Isis
***
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 3
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Buffy was sure for a moment that she'd heard him wrong. Married? Angel was getting married? No, that couldn't possibly be true. He hadn't just said that. It had to be her fears getting the best of her. Deep down, though, she knew she was just lying to herself. But she needed to hear it again just to be sure.
"Y-you're what?" she stuttered in a harsh whisper.
He didn't answer right away. Instead, Angel stood from the bed and cautiously walked toward her numb body. When he was a foot away, he finally repeated the words. "I'm getting married tomorrow."
This time she knew she'd heard him correctly. Angel, her Angel, was getting married. He'd made love to her all night long only to throw it back in her face by telling her he was getting married. How could he? How could he do this to her? How could he make love to her all the while knowing he was getting married? How could he get married to someone else?
"I'm sorry," he reached his hand out to grasp her arm.
"Don't touch me!" she snapped at him, trying to pull away but his grip on her arm tightened.
"Buffy, please! We have to talk-."
"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!" Buffy screamed loudly, this time managing to twist away from him. She stumbled toward the bed, tears beginning to blind her vision.
"Buffy," Angel stepped toward her.
"Get. Away. From. Me!" She backed up, her knees banging into the bed.
Wildly, her eyes scanned the room, searching for an escape. She didn't want him anywhere near her. She didn't want to look into the eyes of the man who had just betrayed every single dream she'd ever had. He was supposed to be hers. They were supposed to have forever together. Wasn't that the whole point?
Obviously not if he was getting married. When had he given up on their hope? Why hadn't he told her? How long had he been human? So many questions. So many answers that didn't matter. He was getting married. To someone else. Period. End of story.
"Please, Buffy...we need to talk," Angel ignored her plea.
"You fucking bastard! How could you?" Rage burned inside of her, blocking out any logical reasoning. Without thinking, she picked up the lamp on the nightstand and threw it at Angel's head.
The projectile glanced off his temple, creating a small gash, before shattering against the wall behind him. Angel stumbled back a step in shock over the violent action before regaining his balance. His hand reached up to touch the bleeding wound and winced when his fingers came into contact with the cut. Ignoring the pain, he again focused on trying to calm the raging blonde.
"Buffy, pl-," Angel hadn't even finished the sentence when an alarm clock came flying at his head. This time he managed to duck before it connected with his flesh.
"GET OUT!" Buffy half sobbed, half screamed in anger.
Angel again ignored her words and walked toward her. He was only mildly surprised when her hand reached out and slapped him, causing his head to whip sideways. The Slayer strength blow on his very human body made his jaw ache, but he brushed off the pain. He knew he deserved it. He knew Buffy had every right to be furious with him. Still, he also knew they needed to talk. They needed to settle this
Seeing Angel's continued approached, Buffy darted away. "Don't come near me!"
"Buffy," he sighed, running a distressed hand over his face.
"Get. Out!" she ground out forcefully.
"I'm sor-."
"GET OUT!"
"Bu-."
"I. Said. Get. Out." Buffy repeated, her whole body trembling because of the rage inside of her.
Angel stared mutely at her for a minute longer for gathering his clothes and pulling them onto his body. Once dressed, he took a few steps towards the door before turning to face Buffy again. He didn't want to leave things like this, but there didn't appear to be any way of reasoning with her at the moment.
"I'm sorry," he dejectedly mumbled one last time.
"GET OUT!" Her voice was hoarse as she screamed at him once more. "AND DON'T EVER COME BACK!"
Sensing it was hopeless to try and talk to her now, Angel finally relented. Staring at her for a few seconds longer, he bowed his head and walked to the door. He fought back the urge to say anything else and instead left the room without another word. Once out of the room, he slumped against the closed door and startled when he heard and felt something shatter against it from the other side. With slumped shoulders, and a guilt laden conscience, he slowly walked away from the woman whose heart he had just broken yet again.
Inside, Buffy collapsed to the floor sobbing the second the door closed. Her knees curled up to her chest as she cried for long held dreams that were forever shattered. She'd always hoped that they would someday have a chance. When he'd come to Sunnydale all those years ago before the big battle with the First she'd told him the truth when she said she needed to grow before she could think of the future. And now that she had finally begun to settle into life, now that all of the barriers that kept him from her were gone, now that all the doors were open to them, he was marrying someone else. She'd always thought Fate had it in for her, but this was the cruelest twist of the knife yet.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
An hour later, Willow stood outside the door to Buffy's hotel room having gotten a phone call from Angel twenty minutes earlier. She raised her hand to knock on the sturdy wood and waited for her friend to answer. When the door didn't open, the redhead knocked again, but still received no answer. She knew Buffy had to be in there. The clerk downstairs told her that Buffy hadn't checked out and he hadn't seen her leave either.
"Buffy?" Willow called out loudly. "It's Willow."
Still no answer. "Buffy, please open the door."
Receiving no acknowledgement of her presence, Willow muttered a simple spell that unlocked the door and allowed her to enter. Upon moving into the room, an audible gasp fell from her lips. Everything was in tatters. Broken glass lay scattered around the floor, the small coffee table was tipped over on its side, what looked like sheets were shredded and piled on the floor in front of the bed, and her friend lay unmoving on the bed's bare mattress.
"Oh my God! Buffy!" Willow raced to Buffy's side. "What happened?"
The blonde neither moved nor spoke, causing Willow's concern to increase. She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and released a relieved sigh when she saw the steady rise and fall of Buffy's chest signaling that her friend was still alive. The blank, empty stare of Buffy's eyes, though, frightened her.
"Buffy?" Willow spoke softly, taking one of Buffy's hands in hers.
For a minute, Willow got no response, but as she was about to speak again, Buffy's eyes blinked and slowly moved to focus on her. "Willow?"
"Are you okay? What happened?" the redhead reached up and brushed some of the tangled blonde hair off of Buffy's face.
"Oh, Willow," Buffy started before sobs once again overwhelmed her.
She didn't resist when her friend pulled her into her arms and cried against the soft material of Willow's sweater. For long minutes, she clung to the redhead, saying nothing. Just as her sobs began to subside, a thought suddenly occurred to Buffy. Frantically, she scrambled out of Willow's embrace, nearly falling off the bed in the process.
"Buffy? What's wrong?" Willow quickly rose from the bed, not understanding Buffy's actions.
"How did you know I was here?" Buffy swiped at her still falling tears and asked the question that had popped into her head.
"What?" Willow frowned in confusion.
"How did you know where I was?" Buffy repeated, nausea rising in her stomach, her suspicions growing.
"Angel called me," replied Willow without really thinking. Though once the words left her mouth she realized what they meant.
"You knew didn't you?!?" Buffy took a step back, anger once again beginning to take over.
Willow's guilty, avoiding gaze was enough to answer her question. Willow, her best friend in the whole world, had known about Angel, had known about his humanity, had known about his upcoming marriage and had never bothered to tell her. Buffy's very world was crumbling before her eyes. The anger that was running through her veins, slowly receded, replaced by a numbing cold.
"You knew and you didn't tell me." This time her voice was frigid, lacking any semblance of emotion.
"I'm s-sorry," Willow stuttered, unable to meet Buffy's eyes.
"Yeah, you're sorry. Everyone's sorry," Buffy laughed maniacally. "I thought you were my friend."
"I am!" Willow whispered, the pleading tone of her words lost on Buffy.
"Some friend," snorted Buffy, shaking her head. "How could you not tell me?"
"I-I..." Willow trailed off having no clue how to answer. It had been her words to Angel about Buffy's great new life that had made him feel the need to not tell her about his humanity and the engagement. She'd disagreed with his decision at first, but eventually came to believe it was best for Buffy.
"Who else knows? Giles? Xander?" Buffy bit out. When Willow made no attempt to deny the claim, she laughed again. "I see. This is some big 'Buffy's too stupid to know anything' deal again, right?"
"Buffy, you have to unders-."
"Shut up!" Buffy snarled at her causing the redhead to flinch. "I don't have to understand anything!"
"We didn't think...it's been seven years since he left you Buffy," Willow tried to defend not only herself, but the others who had known as well.
"You think that matters?" Buffy shook her head, fighting back another sob rising in her throat. "You don't get it. None of you ever got it!"
"Got what?" Willow wanted to know.
Buffy continued on, Willow's question not even registering. "He's the one man I've ever truly loved. Why do you think Riley left me? Why do you think I've never dated since then? No one could ever take his place in my heart! It doesn't matter how long he was gone or that he left me. It never mattered!" She fell to her knees, unable to hold back the sobs any longer.
"Oh, Buffy! I'm so sorry!" Willow knelt down next to Buffy and tried to comfort her, but Buffy would have none of it and pushed her away.
"Yeah, I'm sure you're so sorry," Buffy stumbled to her feet. "Poor, Buffy, too stupid and immature to make her own decisions!"
"No! Buffy, we don't think that," Willow cried desperately.
"Coulda fooled me! Or are you forgetting about the time I was kicked out of my own house?" Buffy snapped angrily.
Willow's jaw dropped at the reminder of what had happened not long before the battle against the First. In all the years that had passed Buffy never mentioned the events of that night. It shocked her to hear it brought up after so much time.
"Nothing to say to that?" Buffy raised an eyebrow. "God, you all make me sick!"
"I'm sorry! I-I should have told you about Angel," Willow admitted her guilt.
"You're damn right you should have! I...I thought..." Buffy backed further away from Willow. The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on her. Memories of the previous night with Angel invaded her senses as her eyes darted around the room. "I can't do this. I-I can't be here."
Before Willow could stop her, Buffy bolted from the room. By the time she made her feet move to take her out into the hallway, the blonde was no where to be found.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
For hours Buffy wandered aimlessly around the streets of Los Angeles having no idea where to go, or what to do. A dense fog had settled in her mind, clouding any an all judgment. More than once a perfect stranger had approached the teary-eyed, dazed blonde and asked her if she was okay, but Buffy always brushed off their concern. She didn't want comfort. She didn't want anything, well except maybe for the last twenty-four hours to have not occurred.
Her heart ached with everything that had been heaped upon her this day. The time spent with Angel and then his not so little revelation were enough to send her in a tailspin, but then to find out that Willow, and likely others as well, knew was just too much. She didn't understand any of it. How could Angel have not told her about the changes in his life? How could Willow have hidden something so important from her?
The last two years had been spent building a life for herself, one outside of chaos, demons and death. She'd made a place for herself in the world. Maybe she'd never consciously thought about it, but in the back of her mind the whisperings were always there that this was her time to grow and be ready for a future that would hopefully include Angel. And now that dream was nothing more than a lonely girl's fantasy that would never come true.
Everything around her seemed darker at that knowledge; the air a little less refreshing, the sun a little less bright. Every ounce of peace she'd built up over the last two years was suddenly gone. She couldn't help but blame herself for believing in childish dreams of true love and forever. Real people didn't get those things. They only existed in movies and fairy tales. She should have known that life wouldn't give her the one thing she'd only ever truly wanted: Angel.
As the sun began to set, Buffy wondered what she was supposed to do with herself now. She didn't want to go back to her hotel room. Someone would probably be waiting for her and she had no desire to talk to any of the hypocrites that were supposed to be her friends. Briefly she contemplated going back home; to San Francisco, but that idea held even less appeal. That place would only be a reminder of the life that now meant nothing. She needed to go somewhere that had no attachment to anything.
Without really thinking about her plans, Buffy made her way to the nearest ATM. She silently thanked herself for putting on the pants that her wallet was in and used her bank-card to withdraw almost everything out of her checking account.
Possessing only a hefty sum of cash, the clothes on her back, and her wallet, Buffy headed for the nearest bus station. Where she was going she didn't know, and really, she didn't care.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
TBC!!