***
Time for the B/A ending! Things to remember: this chapter picks up after chapter 4 where Angel and Willow have just run into Buffy, Oz, and the kid at a toy store. As I said before, the 2 endings are completely different so try to ignore the events of the non-B/A ending while you're reading this.
Thanks to everyone who sent feedback on the last chapter! I know most of you were hesitant to read the non-B/A ending, but I'm glad that a lot of you found it worth reading!
~Isis
***
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Part 5b – B/A version
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Angel didn't return to his hotel room until nearly midnight. After seeing Buffy and Oz together he just needed some time on his own to think. Willow didn't want to let him go, but eventually she relented. He had a feeling she needed some time to herself as well. Seeing their former significant others together was not exactly something they could just smile at and go about their business. Angel felt quite the opposite. He wanted to scream, and sulk over it all. Instead he settled for wandering around New Orleans brooding.
No sooner had he walked into his bedroom Angel heard a knock on his door. He knew without even checking that it was Willow. She probably waited up for him to get back. The temptation to not answer the door was strong, but he couldn't do that to Willow, especially not after the shocking events of early that day. Begrudgingly, he wandered back through the living room and pulled open the door.
"Willow," he smiled tiredly at her.
"Hey," she pushed past him and entered the room. Angel could see the redness around her eyes telling him that she had been crying.
"I thought you'd be asleep by now," he spoke as he closed the door.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep for a week." When she saw Angel look at her oddly she explained. "I spent all day in a coffee shop. Me plus caffeine is a bad thing."
"Oh." Angel went and sat on the comfortable couch in the middle of the room.
"How are you?" she looked directly at him, daring him to lie.
"Been better," he shrugged, not particularly wanting to have this conversation, but knowing it was inevitable.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Willow sat and curled up in one of the room's matching chairs. "I. uh, did some digging around on the 'net."
Angel frowned and wondered what she meant by that. What could she have possibly been researching on the internet that she would want to tell him about? Just as he was about to ask her what she was looking up, Willow supplied the information for him.
"I found a record of their marriage certificate." The words were spoken softly, but Angel clearly heard them. "Buffy and Oz really are married."
"Oh." He had already suspected that, but to hear confirmation made the pain hurt even worse.
"Yeah," Willow agreed, feeling exactly as Angel did.
"H-how long?" he wanted to know.
"According to the stuff I found, they got married four and a half years ago," she relayed dejectedly.
"Four and a half years?" Angel questioned in shock. He certainly had not expected that answer. If that information was correct then it meant Buffy married Oz not long after their encounter in LA. She sure moved on quickly after being so upset with him about his marriage.
"Yeah." She knew what he was thinking. The same thing occurred to her. "I found their address too. Looks like they live in a suburb outside of New Orleans."
"Where?" There were questions to ask, and he intended to get some answers.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
The early morning sun felt good on Buffy's back as she toiled around absentmindedly in the small flower garden in front of the house she shared with Oz. Gardening wasn't particularly one of her strong suits, but it was relaxing and blessedly normal. And it also gave her time to think. Seeing Angel again after so many years, and after he had broken her heart, was plaguing her thoughts constantly. She never expected to see him again. Part of her actually hoped she never would.
Buffy sighed and ran a hand over her forehead not caring at all that she probably just got a huge smudge of dirt on her face. She didn't want to think about Angel and she didn't want to think about their encounter yesterday. Why did her life always have to be so damn complicated? For once, couldn't things just be normal, and stay normal? No, she supposed not, her life seemed destined to be one big mess after another. And Angel reappearing had the potential to completely mess everything up.
Not for the first time, Buffy was immensely happy that she had Oz. He was so supportive about everything. Right now, he was playing with Jared in the back yard so that she could have some time to herself. As much as she loved and adored her son, there were times when she needed to be alone. Oz seemed to have sensed that and took Jared to play on the swing-set so she could brood under the guise of gardening.
A shadow fell across the area she was working on, and without looking up, she spoke. "Can you hand me the hose?"
Buffy reached up her hand blindly and felt the nozzle placed onto her palm. "Thanks, Oz."
"Last time I checked, my named wasn't Oz," a deep voice spoke from the direction of the shadow.
The hose that had been in Buffy's hand slipped and dropped to the ground, landing on the handle and shooting a small spray of water at her unexpected guest. Cringing over what she realized she just did, Buffy looked up hoping to not find what she knew she would. And she was right. There stood Angel, using his sleeve to wipe the droplets of water off his face.
"Hello to you, too," he let out an unsure laugh.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry." Buffy jumped to her feet feeling like the biggest moron on the planet.
"That's okay," Angel shrugged, wondering what he was supposed to say now that he was standing right in front of Buffy.
"H-how did you find me?" Buffy babbled nervously, realizing that he shouldn't have known where she lived.
"It wasn't hard to find you once I knew what I was looking for, Mrs. Osbourne," his tone suddenly became accusing.
Sensing the change in the direction of the conversation, Buffy grew angry. "Well, you've found me, and now you can leave." She stepped around him and started toward the front porch of the house.
Not about to let her get away, Angel reached out and grabbed her arm, halting her steps. "You can't keep running away, Buffy."
"~I~ can do whatever the Hell I want to do!" she wrenched her arm out of his grasp.
"I didn't come here to fight, Buffy," Angel sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was not starting off the way he hoped it would. Yes, he wanted answers, but he didn't want to get into a big confrontation with her.
"Then what did you come here for?" she questioned, facing him completely for the first time.
"We need to talk," he began gently. "I think there are things we need to say to each other."
Buffy studied him for a long, silent minute, considering his words. She knew he was right. They did need to talk, but the question was whether or not she wanted to. This conversation would in all likelihood lead to things coming out that she didn't think she was ready to deal with. No good could come from a 'gab session' with her ex-lover, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Fine," she grumbled in annoyance and then headed up the stairs. "Well, are you going to come in or what? I'm not going to 'talk' on my front porch where all the neighbors can see."
Stomping through the doorway, not even bothering to show Angel in, she continued past the foyer and into the living room. Before Angel even finished closing the front door, Buffy had practically thrown herself down onto the couch. When he finally did manage to find her, she was laying half on the couch with her left arm covering her eyes. She looked so damn cute and Angel just wanted to stride over there and....but no, he certainly couldn't do that. Instead, he walked quietly over to one of the chairs and sat down. After several minutes of silence, he cleared his throat, hoping to catch her attention.
"Usually talking involves opening your mouth and speaking," he said when she made no move to acknowledge his presence.
"You're point?" she replied without removing her arm from her eyes.
"Buffy-."
"Where's your WIFE, Angel?" Her hardened voice interrupted him before he could say anything else. With this she finally uncovered her eyes and sat up on the couch.
Angel looked down guiltily knowing she had every right to be angry with him over that. "At home with her husband probably."
"I don't mean to sound like a blonde but...huh?" Buffy narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, trying to figure out what game he was playing.
"We've been divorced for over three years," he told her with no emotion whatsoever in his voice.
"Oh...well...I'm sorry," she bumbled over her words. The last thing she thought he'd say was that he was now divorced, and for so long. Over three years. That would mean they had been married for less than two.
"I'm not." The serious tone as he spoke shocked her slightly. "We never should have gotten married in the first place."
"I'm sure you're...ex-wife...would love to hear that." Buffy looked at him in disdain.
"She knows it and agrees." He noted Buffy's obvious surprise at the statement, but said nothing to explain yet. "Buffy, there are a few things I need to say and I'd like you to listen to me."
"Fine," she agreed even though she wanted to tell him to get out and leave her alone.
"First of all, I'm sorry." She wanted to scowl at his apology, but there was a genuineness to his voice that stopped her so she kept listening.
"I'm sorry," he continued, making sure to look directly at her. "For not telling you about my redemption and for not....for not telling you that I was getting married. You deserved to know. I should have told you."
Buffy wanted to say so many things in response, but instead she settled for "thank you."
Angel nodded at her small concession. "I know it doesn't change things, and probably doesn't mean much, but I really am sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Instantly, she hated the fact that her voice wavered as she spoke.
"Because I'm stupid," he stated only half joking. "Honestly? I just...I don't know. I kept in touch with Willow and she was always telling me how well you were doing, that you had a great job, and were happy. I just didn't want to come along and mess up everything you'd worked hard for. I know how much you always wanted a life like that."
"Shouldn't I have had some say in what did and didn't happen in my life?" That was her biggest problem with all of it. She was so tired of everyone else deciding what was and wasn't good for her.
"Yes," he answered with one word.
"Well I'm glad you know that," she snapped at him then forced herself to calm down. "We should have talked about it just like we should have talked when you decided to leave me back in Sunnydale, just like-."
Buffy never got to finish her train of thought as the phone rang and interrupted her. "Excuse me," she stood up and left the room to answer the phone.
While she was gone, Angel used the opportunity to look around the room to get an idea of the place Buffy lived in with her husband. The furniture was pretty standard, nothing too ritzy or too shabby. A large window in the front let a fair amount of natural light in. The walls were painted a soft peach and everything else in the room drew off that color. On various side tables and the mantle several pictures resided. Most of them were of Buffy and her son, and a few with Oz in them too. He was surprised to see one picture off in the corner of the Scooby gang; Buffy, Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, and Giles. It made him happy to see that she hadn't completely forgotten her past life.
A few minutes later, Buffy reentered the room carrying a tray with tea on it. "Sorry about that," she half smiled and set the tray down on the coffee table in front of him.
"What the Hell?!?" Angel suddenly growled and grabbed her arm.
Buffy knew immediately what he saw. She tried to wrench away from him, but his grip was too strong. "Let go, Angel. Please." The last word was whimpered.
He said nothing, only stared wide-eyed at what he saw. There were a multitude of scars on her inner arm around the elbow. He'd seen enough in all his years alive to know what they looked like. Turning over her arm, he saw matching marks on the back of her hand. He was horrified to find similar scars on her other arm as well.
"What did you do to yourself," he whispered, his heart breaking.
"I-it's not what you think." He could hear the tears in her voice, and when he trailed his gaze up towards her face he saw yet another mark.
This one was circular and looked old. It was around her collarbone and was somewhat hidden by the strap of her tank top. The skin was slightly discolored and it was barely noticeable given the tanned skin surrounding it. His shaking fingers lifted, pushed the strap to the side, and touched the faded scar. He wanted to press a kiss to the once-wound, lave it with his tongue and ease whatever horror had caused it, but he knew he couldn't.
"What happened?" he asked when he finally managed to find his voice.
"There's more," Buffy said instead of explaining.
He watched as she sat back down on the couch and raised the lower hem of her shorts to reveal another circular scar on her outer thigh a few inches below her hip. Once he'd seen that, she moved her hands to lift the bottom of her tank top and push down the top of her shorts slightly and he saw another mark except this one was a line maybe three or four inches long.
Before he knew what he was doing, Angel had dropped to knees in front of her and took her hands into his. "Oh Gods, Buffy. What happened?"
Tears fell from Buffy eyes as her mind drifted back to events she would rather forget. She knew, though, that the memories from over four years earlier would never leave her. That period in her life was one of the worst ever. She was lucky to have survived. Death had been knocking at her door once again, but by some miracle, she lived, and for that she would always be grateful.
"I-I...about...," she stuttered tensely, trying to force herself to talk about something she routinely pushed out of her mind. "About two months after I found out I was pregnant, I started having nightmares."
"What kind of nightmares?" He knew from experience what kind of dreams Slayers tended to have, and then add that onto a pregnancy...the thought made him shudder.
"Nothing concrete...pain, and blood...just feelings, but no a-actual images," Buffy began the horrible story. "They just kept coming once or twice a week and I knew something bad was going to happen."
"Just past the eighth month of my pregnancy, I had to go to the market downtown. It was dark, maybe around nine o'clock," she went on, tears still falling. "I got the stuff I needed and got in line to pay. T-two guys wearing masks burst through the f-front door."
Angel's face grew pale as he listened. A sinking feeling in his gut told him what happened next.
"T-they demanded all the m-money. I....I don't..." She reached up to push her hair off her face. "I guess someone t-tried to...to jump one of the guys...then the other one s-shot him. I-I guess I was in s-shock because I dropped my basket with my groceries in it. It made so much n-noise....and one of them j-just turned toward me and...and fired."
"Oh, Buffy," Angel's voice broke as he spoke. Once again he raised his fingers to touch the scar on her collarbone, knowing now that it was from a bullet.
"I was hit twice," she explained softly. "My s-shoulder and my thigh. B-but I must have fallen a-afterwards. I don't really remember what exactly h-happened. The doctors said it was probably the shock of bullet wounds and the fall that m-made me go into labor."
"They delivered the baby by caesarean. He was almost a month premature." Her eyes drifted up to a photo of Jared on the side table by the couch. "They said he barely survived, b-but I don't know all of what happened. I was in a coma for two weeks afterwards."
"I started hemorrhaging following the caesarean, and combined with the bullet wounds it was too much for my body. The doctors don't know how I survived at all with the amount of blood I lost," she looked down to where Angel's fingers were resting on her arm, finally gaining some control over her emotions.
"And these?" he questioned, rubbing his thumb over the marks on her inner elbow.
"They're from all the IV's and stuff." She too touched the marks that were a permanent reminded of her experience. "I there was just too my stress on my body at once and my Slayer healing powers couldn't heal them or the others."
"And your son? He is all right?" Angel assumed he was since he met the boy the day before.
"Yeah. He has shown no effects from it at all. I think he inherited some of ou-...my strength," she nervously tore her eyes away from Angel.
"I'm glad. He seems like a wonderful son," Angel spoke genuinely, clasping his hands around Buffy's.
"Yeah, he is. I don't know what I'd do without him, and Oz has stepped in and been a wonderful father," she said without thinking about her words.
"Stepped in?" he repeated in confusion.
Buffy looked away guiltily, kicking herself for her slip. She wasn't ready to talk about this. She wasn't ready to tell him. He was going to hate her for what she'd kept from him for so many years. But it was too late now. It couldn't wait any longer.
"Oz isn't Jared's father," she told him in a barely audible voice.
The news stunned him. Never in a million years had he expected to hear that. "Who is?" he asked though it occurred to him he had no right to.
Forcing herself to raise her eyes back to Angel, she took a deep breath for what she was about to say. "You are."
She jumped as Angel dropped her hands and staggered backwards, almost knocking the table over. The hurt and betrayal in his eyes was like a knife to her heart. She'd kept the knowledge that he had a son from him for almost five years. More times than she could count she tried to make herself call him, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't face him after everything that happened between them. And now it was all coming back to bite her in the ass.
"H-he's my...," he mumbled more to himself than Buffy, and then turned an accusing glare in her direction. "How could you?!?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly, shrinking under his heavy gaze.
"Five years...and I never..." Angel's fist clenched at his sides, everything beginning to hit him at once; the pictures of the boy, his son, scattered around the room; a stuffed dog sitting on the window sill; a child's laughter coming from outside that he hadn't even noticed before. All of it closed in on him and his fury grew. He had to get out of the room, out of the house. He couldn't handle it all so he turned and stormed out without saying a word to the sobbing woman on the couch.
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TBC!!
Time for the B/A ending! Things to remember: this chapter picks up after chapter 4 where Angel and Willow have just run into Buffy, Oz, and the kid at a toy store. As I said before, the 2 endings are completely different so try to ignore the events of the non-B/A ending while you're reading this.
Thanks to everyone who sent feedback on the last chapter! I know most of you were hesitant to read the non-B/A ending, but I'm glad that a lot of you found it worth reading!
~Isis
***
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Part 5b – B/A version
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Angel didn't return to his hotel room until nearly midnight. After seeing Buffy and Oz together he just needed some time on his own to think. Willow didn't want to let him go, but eventually she relented. He had a feeling she needed some time to herself as well. Seeing their former significant others together was not exactly something they could just smile at and go about their business. Angel felt quite the opposite. He wanted to scream, and sulk over it all. Instead he settled for wandering around New Orleans brooding.
No sooner had he walked into his bedroom Angel heard a knock on his door. He knew without even checking that it was Willow. She probably waited up for him to get back. The temptation to not answer the door was strong, but he couldn't do that to Willow, especially not after the shocking events of early that day. Begrudgingly, he wandered back through the living room and pulled open the door.
"Willow," he smiled tiredly at her.
"Hey," she pushed past him and entered the room. Angel could see the redness around her eyes telling him that she had been crying.
"I thought you'd be asleep by now," he spoke as he closed the door.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep for a week." When she saw Angel look at her oddly she explained. "I spent all day in a coffee shop. Me plus caffeine is a bad thing."
"Oh." Angel went and sat on the comfortable couch in the middle of the room.
"How are you?" she looked directly at him, daring him to lie.
"Been better," he shrugged, not particularly wanting to have this conversation, but knowing it was inevitable.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Willow sat and curled up in one of the room's matching chairs. "I. uh, did some digging around on the 'net."
Angel frowned and wondered what she meant by that. What could she have possibly been researching on the internet that she would want to tell him about? Just as he was about to ask her what she was looking up, Willow supplied the information for him.
"I found a record of their marriage certificate." The words were spoken softly, but Angel clearly heard them. "Buffy and Oz really are married."
"Oh." He had already suspected that, but to hear confirmation made the pain hurt even worse.
"Yeah," Willow agreed, feeling exactly as Angel did.
"H-how long?" he wanted to know.
"According to the stuff I found, they got married four and a half years ago," she relayed dejectedly.
"Four and a half years?" Angel questioned in shock. He certainly had not expected that answer. If that information was correct then it meant Buffy married Oz not long after their encounter in LA. She sure moved on quickly after being so upset with him about his marriage.
"Yeah." She knew what he was thinking. The same thing occurred to her. "I found their address too. Looks like they live in a suburb outside of New Orleans."
"Where?" There were questions to ask, and he intended to get some answers.
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
The early morning sun felt good on Buffy's back as she toiled around absentmindedly in the small flower garden in front of the house she shared with Oz. Gardening wasn't particularly one of her strong suits, but it was relaxing and blessedly normal. And it also gave her time to think. Seeing Angel again after so many years, and after he had broken her heart, was plaguing her thoughts constantly. She never expected to see him again. Part of her actually hoped she never would.
Buffy sighed and ran a hand over her forehead not caring at all that she probably just got a huge smudge of dirt on her face. She didn't want to think about Angel and she didn't want to think about their encounter yesterday. Why did her life always have to be so damn complicated? For once, couldn't things just be normal, and stay normal? No, she supposed not, her life seemed destined to be one big mess after another. And Angel reappearing had the potential to completely mess everything up.
Not for the first time, Buffy was immensely happy that she had Oz. He was so supportive about everything. Right now, he was playing with Jared in the back yard so that she could have some time to herself. As much as she loved and adored her son, there were times when she needed to be alone. Oz seemed to have sensed that and took Jared to play on the swing-set so she could brood under the guise of gardening.
A shadow fell across the area she was working on, and without looking up, she spoke. "Can you hand me the hose?"
Buffy reached up her hand blindly and felt the nozzle placed onto her palm. "Thanks, Oz."
"Last time I checked, my named wasn't Oz," a deep voice spoke from the direction of the shadow.
The hose that had been in Buffy's hand slipped and dropped to the ground, landing on the handle and shooting a small spray of water at her unexpected guest. Cringing over what she realized she just did, Buffy looked up hoping to not find what she knew she would. And she was right. There stood Angel, using his sleeve to wipe the droplets of water off his face.
"Hello to you, too," he let out an unsure laugh.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry." Buffy jumped to her feet feeling like the biggest moron on the planet.
"That's okay," Angel shrugged, wondering what he was supposed to say now that he was standing right in front of Buffy.
"H-how did you find me?" Buffy babbled nervously, realizing that he shouldn't have known where she lived.
"It wasn't hard to find you once I knew what I was looking for, Mrs. Osbourne," his tone suddenly became accusing.
Sensing the change in the direction of the conversation, Buffy grew angry. "Well, you've found me, and now you can leave." She stepped around him and started toward the front porch of the house.
Not about to let her get away, Angel reached out and grabbed her arm, halting her steps. "You can't keep running away, Buffy."
"~I~ can do whatever the Hell I want to do!" she wrenched her arm out of his grasp.
"I didn't come here to fight, Buffy," Angel sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was not starting off the way he hoped it would. Yes, he wanted answers, but he didn't want to get into a big confrontation with her.
"Then what did you come here for?" she questioned, facing him completely for the first time.
"We need to talk," he began gently. "I think there are things we need to say to each other."
Buffy studied him for a long, silent minute, considering his words. She knew he was right. They did need to talk, but the question was whether or not she wanted to. This conversation would in all likelihood lead to things coming out that she didn't think she was ready to deal with. No good could come from a 'gab session' with her ex-lover, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Fine," she grumbled in annoyance and then headed up the stairs. "Well, are you going to come in or what? I'm not going to 'talk' on my front porch where all the neighbors can see."
Stomping through the doorway, not even bothering to show Angel in, she continued past the foyer and into the living room. Before Angel even finished closing the front door, Buffy had practically thrown herself down onto the couch. When he finally did manage to find her, she was laying half on the couch with her left arm covering her eyes. She looked so damn cute and Angel just wanted to stride over there and....but no, he certainly couldn't do that. Instead, he walked quietly over to one of the chairs and sat down. After several minutes of silence, he cleared his throat, hoping to catch her attention.
"Usually talking involves opening your mouth and speaking," he said when she made no move to acknowledge his presence.
"You're point?" she replied without removing her arm from her eyes.
"Buffy-."
"Where's your WIFE, Angel?" Her hardened voice interrupted him before he could say anything else. With this she finally uncovered her eyes and sat up on the couch.
Angel looked down guiltily knowing she had every right to be angry with him over that. "At home with her husband probably."
"I don't mean to sound like a blonde but...huh?" Buffy narrowed her eyes as she looked at him, trying to figure out what game he was playing.
"We've been divorced for over three years," he told her with no emotion whatsoever in his voice.
"Oh...well...I'm sorry," she bumbled over her words. The last thing she thought he'd say was that he was now divorced, and for so long. Over three years. That would mean they had been married for less than two.
"I'm not." The serious tone as he spoke shocked her slightly. "We never should have gotten married in the first place."
"I'm sure you're...ex-wife...would love to hear that." Buffy looked at him in disdain.
"She knows it and agrees." He noted Buffy's obvious surprise at the statement, but said nothing to explain yet. "Buffy, there are a few things I need to say and I'd like you to listen to me."
"Fine," she agreed even though she wanted to tell him to get out and leave her alone.
"First of all, I'm sorry." She wanted to scowl at his apology, but there was a genuineness to his voice that stopped her so she kept listening.
"I'm sorry," he continued, making sure to look directly at her. "For not telling you about my redemption and for not....for not telling you that I was getting married. You deserved to know. I should have told you."
Buffy wanted to say so many things in response, but instead she settled for "thank you."
Angel nodded at her small concession. "I know it doesn't change things, and probably doesn't mean much, but I really am sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Instantly, she hated the fact that her voice wavered as she spoke.
"Because I'm stupid," he stated only half joking. "Honestly? I just...I don't know. I kept in touch with Willow and she was always telling me how well you were doing, that you had a great job, and were happy. I just didn't want to come along and mess up everything you'd worked hard for. I know how much you always wanted a life like that."
"Shouldn't I have had some say in what did and didn't happen in my life?" That was her biggest problem with all of it. She was so tired of everyone else deciding what was and wasn't good for her.
"Yes," he answered with one word.
"Well I'm glad you know that," she snapped at him then forced herself to calm down. "We should have talked about it just like we should have talked when you decided to leave me back in Sunnydale, just like-."
Buffy never got to finish her train of thought as the phone rang and interrupted her. "Excuse me," she stood up and left the room to answer the phone.
While she was gone, Angel used the opportunity to look around the room to get an idea of the place Buffy lived in with her husband. The furniture was pretty standard, nothing too ritzy or too shabby. A large window in the front let a fair amount of natural light in. The walls were painted a soft peach and everything else in the room drew off that color. On various side tables and the mantle several pictures resided. Most of them were of Buffy and her son, and a few with Oz in them too. He was surprised to see one picture off in the corner of the Scooby gang; Buffy, Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, and Giles. It made him happy to see that she hadn't completely forgotten her past life.
A few minutes later, Buffy reentered the room carrying a tray with tea on it. "Sorry about that," she half smiled and set the tray down on the coffee table in front of him.
"What the Hell?!?" Angel suddenly growled and grabbed her arm.
Buffy knew immediately what he saw. She tried to wrench away from him, but his grip was too strong. "Let go, Angel. Please." The last word was whimpered.
He said nothing, only stared wide-eyed at what he saw. There were a multitude of scars on her inner arm around the elbow. He'd seen enough in all his years alive to know what they looked like. Turning over her arm, he saw matching marks on the back of her hand. He was horrified to find similar scars on her other arm as well.
"What did you do to yourself," he whispered, his heart breaking.
"I-it's not what you think." He could hear the tears in her voice, and when he trailed his gaze up towards her face he saw yet another mark.
This one was circular and looked old. It was around her collarbone and was somewhat hidden by the strap of her tank top. The skin was slightly discolored and it was barely noticeable given the tanned skin surrounding it. His shaking fingers lifted, pushed the strap to the side, and touched the faded scar. He wanted to press a kiss to the once-wound, lave it with his tongue and ease whatever horror had caused it, but he knew he couldn't.
"What happened?" he asked when he finally managed to find his voice.
"There's more," Buffy said instead of explaining.
He watched as she sat back down on the couch and raised the lower hem of her shorts to reveal another circular scar on her outer thigh a few inches below her hip. Once he'd seen that, she moved her hands to lift the bottom of her tank top and push down the top of her shorts slightly and he saw another mark except this one was a line maybe three or four inches long.
Before he knew what he was doing, Angel had dropped to knees in front of her and took her hands into his. "Oh Gods, Buffy. What happened?"
Tears fell from Buffy eyes as her mind drifted back to events she would rather forget. She knew, though, that the memories from over four years earlier would never leave her. That period in her life was one of the worst ever. She was lucky to have survived. Death had been knocking at her door once again, but by some miracle, she lived, and for that she would always be grateful.
"I-I...about...," she stuttered tensely, trying to force herself to talk about something she routinely pushed out of her mind. "About two months after I found out I was pregnant, I started having nightmares."
"What kind of nightmares?" He knew from experience what kind of dreams Slayers tended to have, and then add that onto a pregnancy...the thought made him shudder.
"Nothing concrete...pain, and blood...just feelings, but no a-actual images," Buffy began the horrible story. "They just kept coming once or twice a week and I knew something bad was going to happen."
"Just past the eighth month of my pregnancy, I had to go to the market downtown. It was dark, maybe around nine o'clock," she went on, tears still falling. "I got the stuff I needed and got in line to pay. T-two guys wearing masks burst through the f-front door."
Angel's face grew pale as he listened. A sinking feeling in his gut told him what happened next.
"T-they demanded all the m-money. I....I don't..." She reached up to push her hair off her face. "I guess someone t-tried to...to jump one of the guys...then the other one s-shot him. I-I guess I was in s-shock because I dropped my basket with my groceries in it. It made so much n-noise....and one of them j-just turned toward me and...and fired."
"Oh, Buffy," Angel's voice broke as he spoke. Once again he raised his fingers to touch the scar on her collarbone, knowing now that it was from a bullet.
"I was hit twice," she explained softly. "My s-shoulder and my thigh. B-but I must have fallen a-afterwards. I don't really remember what exactly h-happened. The doctors said it was probably the shock of bullet wounds and the fall that m-made me go into labor."
"They delivered the baby by caesarean. He was almost a month premature." Her eyes drifted up to a photo of Jared on the side table by the couch. "They said he barely survived, b-but I don't know all of what happened. I was in a coma for two weeks afterwards."
"I started hemorrhaging following the caesarean, and combined with the bullet wounds it was too much for my body. The doctors don't know how I survived at all with the amount of blood I lost," she looked down to where Angel's fingers were resting on her arm, finally gaining some control over her emotions.
"And these?" he questioned, rubbing his thumb over the marks on her inner elbow.
"They're from all the IV's and stuff." She too touched the marks that were a permanent reminded of her experience. "I there was just too my stress on my body at once and my Slayer healing powers couldn't heal them or the others."
"And your son? He is all right?" Angel assumed he was since he met the boy the day before.
"Yeah. He has shown no effects from it at all. I think he inherited some of ou-...my strength," she nervously tore her eyes away from Angel.
"I'm glad. He seems like a wonderful son," Angel spoke genuinely, clasping his hands around Buffy's.
"Yeah, he is. I don't know what I'd do without him, and Oz has stepped in and been a wonderful father," she said without thinking about her words.
"Stepped in?" he repeated in confusion.
Buffy looked away guiltily, kicking herself for her slip. She wasn't ready to talk about this. She wasn't ready to tell him. He was going to hate her for what she'd kept from him for so many years. But it was too late now. It couldn't wait any longer.
"Oz isn't Jared's father," she told him in a barely audible voice.
The news stunned him. Never in a million years had he expected to hear that. "Who is?" he asked though it occurred to him he had no right to.
Forcing herself to raise her eyes back to Angel, she took a deep breath for what she was about to say. "You are."
She jumped as Angel dropped her hands and staggered backwards, almost knocking the table over. The hurt and betrayal in his eyes was like a knife to her heart. She'd kept the knowledge that he had a son from him for almost five years. More times than she could count she tried to make herself call him, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't face him after everything that happened between them. And now it was all coming back to bite her in the ass.
"H-he's my...," he mumbled more to himself than Buffy, and then turned an accusing glare in her direction. "How could you?!?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly, shrinking under his heavy gaze.
"Five years...and I never..." Angel's fist clenched at his sides, everything beginning to hit him at once; the pictures of the boy, his son, scattered around the room; a stuffed dog sitting on the window sill; a child's laughter coming from outside that he hadn't even noticed before. All of it closed in on him and his fury grew. He had to get out of the room, out of the house. He couldn't handle it all so he turned and stormed out without saying a word to the sobbing woman on the couch.
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TBC!!