LoneWolf16: Oh joy, this one was so fun to write. It's not as deep and dark as the last few chapters. It kinda goes back to chapter four, Tea vs. Mai. Lighthearted stuff. May all humor fans bust their gaskets. …

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. And that's it, folks.
Note: Slightly altered from original, due to "illegal" quotation according to fanfiction(dot)net. Mediaminer will have original format.

Chapter Eight: Home Sweet Home No More

The tiny room was filled with silence yet again. Maximillion Pegasus, CEO of Industrial Illusions, Duel Monsters creator, was charred to a crisp and dead. This tournament was becoming deadly.

The announcer opened the door, startling everyone. In stalked Kaiba, lowered head and scowling eyes, practically daring for some unsuspecting fool to speak. Thankfully, no one did, on the account of Kaiba's reputation.

"The next duel shall be between Shadi and Yami. Please come with me."

The two silently followed, courteously nodding to one another as they passed each other.

Only one would return.

x x x x x

The car was eerily quiet. That was to be expected, since the two duelists were well, strange, different, Egyptian, and mysterious.

Need there more to be said?

No, probably not.

The unnamed announcer raised an eyebrow. This should be very interesting…

The black limo turned into a fancy driveway, guarded by the famous white statues of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

Wait a sec, Blue-Eyes White Dragons?

Yep. It was party time, Kaiba mansion style.

x x x x x

"WHAT? WHAT ARE THEY DOING AT MY HOUSE!" Kaiba yelled at the impersonal wide-screen TV. Kaiba jumped up, furious that they dared enter his own private mansion.

"Cool." Joey nodded his approval as he stared at the TV. "That's gonna be one awesome duel…go Yami!"

"I am going to seriously hurt whoever told the tournament manager that my house could be used as a dueling arena." Kaiba stalked around the room, his eyes practically blazing the television screen.

One of the guards spoke up. "Well sir, no one actually offered your house as a dueling arena. Mr. Sennen asked your company if it was alright -- a innovative business advertisement, I believe -- and you agreed."

"WHAT?"

The guard shrugged. "Just saying what I know."

Kaiba gritted his teeth. He had heard of no such offer. It must have been those uppity "Big Five" executives again, wanting to attain power. Oh boy, were they in the surprise of their lives once he got to them…

x x x x x

The door to the Kaiba mansion was easily unlocked and the two duelists and one announcer walked into the entrance hallway of a building of technology and prestige.

Blue Eyes White Dragons everywhere. Computers and other electrical gadgets everywhere. White, blue, sheer black, or shiny metal everywhere. The colors were mind boggling. EVERYTHING was dragon fixated. Even the wallpaper was imprinted with little blue eyes white dragons running around.

Yami muttered beneath his breath, "Now I know why he's so fixated on his Blue Eyes. I'll bet he even has dragon-stenciled toilet paper."

Shadi stared at his surroundings. THIS was the new home of the reincarnation of the High Priest Seto?

Oh boy…

"The dueling arena is the entire mansion. Duel as you wish."

The two former allies stood apart, ready to take the other down.

"BEGIN."

The beginning was most unexpected, for Shadi suddenly straightened up, stared at the announcer with piercing sea-green eyes, and then asked perhaps the most irrelevant question ever asked in the announcer's entire life.

"May I surrender?"

"What?"

Shadi continued to stare. "May I surrender to my opponent?"

"But-what-why?" The announcer sputtered.

"I do not wish to fight my Pharaoh. May I forfeit the duel?"

"But-you-can't--"

Yami was staring at Shadi incredulously. Why in the world had he entered in the first place? And why, after going through all this trouble, was he forfeiting?

The announcer got his act together. "Sorry sir, but you cannot forfeit the duel. The duel will only end when one is dead."

Yami suddenly felt a flare of tainted magic swish by him. And was it just his imagination, or did Shadi's eyes glow blood red for a moment?

Shadi glared at the announcer. "Fine then." Shadi then turned to face Yami again, and unleashed a powerful blast of magic right away.

Yami's eyes widened. Shadi was never this hasty. The magical attack battered against Yami's natural shields, sizzling in excess heat. Yami's eyes narrowed. Judging from the attack he had just gotten and the bits and pieces of his ancient past that he remembered, he was just a tad bit higher on the magical side than Shadi. If he could play just right, he could wear out Shadi without killing the Guardian of the Items. He hoped.

Shadi, however, had different plans. He unleashed another blast of magic, straight at Yami. Yami, deciding not to waste his effort at directly defending himself, moved two steps to the right and the blast blew up one of Kaiba's Blue Eyes White Dragons lamps, carefully carved into a perfect likeness of the dragon. However, now it was headless and smoking.

x x x x x

"WHAT? THEY JUST BROKE MY LAMP!" Kaiba roared. "THOSE WERE CUSTOM-MADE!"

Joey absently nodded. "That's nice."

x x x x x

Yami quickly moved away, not wanting to face yet another magical blast from Shadi. He dodged around the corner, barely missing the third, blue-red streaked blast that came from Shadi. Yami dashed up the stairs and into a small room, hoping to make some kind of plan before Shadi blew Kaiba's house apart.

"My Pharaoh, why are you running away?" The tone was almost mocking.

Yami ignored him and looked around the room he was in.

It was the bathroom.

And yes, it was dragon-fixated as well.

Shadi came around the doorway, peering at Yami, who was staring at the various dragon-shaped implements in the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are, pharaoh. I was wondering where you were…"

It was at this point that Shadi (predictably) let off another blast at Yami. Of course, Yami was prepared for this, and causally threw Kaiba's (electric) toothbrush at Shadi to block the attack.

Lightning-bolt shaped toothbrush went bye-bye.

Dragon-shaped cup went bye-bye.

And yes, dragon-stenciled toilet paper went bye-bye as well, trailing off in a blaze of fire and magic.

Yami was getting some slight pleasure of flaming Kaiba's precious dragon possessions, courtesy of a strange acting Shadi. The Shadi he knew was calm and quiet, always thinking before he acted. This Shadi was hasty and a little on the explosive side. Shadi was somehow not quite acting himself.

"Shadi! What is wrong? Why are you attacking me?" Toothpaste no more.

In strange, blanked out eyes, Shadi replied, "It is destiny!"

Yami rolled his eyes. Destiny was all well and good, but Shadi was buying into it a little too much. Yami narrowed his eyes. Perhaps too much, indeed…

Yami edged his way towards the door, carefully bending down towards the white cupboard. "Shadi, stop this. You are acting irrationally."

"Nevermore." Blood-red eyes blazed, and yet another blast came from the Millenium Ankh.

However, Yami had managed to open the cupboard and take out a useful household implement: a can of hair spray.

Yami shook the can well, aimed at Shadi's eyes and pressed the button. Then he threw the actual can at the blast of magic coming towards him.

Perhaps Shadi was not exactly well-versed in modern fashion. Perhaps he was simply alien to the danger about to ensue. Or perhaps this was the Game King's intention all along. But whatever the reason, what happened afterwards was not pretty.

(To aid in comprehension, right on the can it read, CAUTION: FLAMMABLE. Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks. Avoid spraying in eyes. Contents under pressure. Do not puncture, incinerate, or crush. Do not expose to heat as can may burst. Intentional misuse can be harmful or fatal.)

This is a short timeline of happened in the few milliseconds after the above action.

1) Shadi gets hit by the hair spray.
2) Shadi's eyes burn.
3) Shadi winces, grabs head in pain, and rubs eyes with fury.
4) At this point of time, Yami dodges around Shadi and dashes down the hallway.
5) The magical blast hits the can of hair spray.
6) This causes a huge explosion of fire and sparks, charring Shadi's robes and also incinerating Shadi's turban, leaving Shadi without any headgear.
7) Much chaos and swearing and pain ensue.

Upstairs, Yami heard Shadi cursing and smiled. This was kinda fun.

x x x x x

"THEY JUST RUINED MY BATHROOM! REMODELING TOOK PRACTICALLY A YEAR!"

Marik's eyes widened. Wow, that Kaiba was rich. Peering closely, Marik could see a red-eyed Shadi stumble out of the bathroom and towards the hallway. Seeing Shadi without a turban was quite interesting. For some unknown reason, Shadi had gotten a tattoo on his head. It read, "Destiny or bust." Probably from his younger days, and probably the reason why Shadi wore a turban. Who would want anyone reading that particular message on your head?

"I'M GOING TO SUE!"

Everyone was staring at the television screen in vague amusement. This was entertaining, to say the least. It was almost like the movie "Home Alone."

x x x x x

When Shadi stumbled down the hallway, Yami was (predictably) ready with various objects to impede / annoy Shadi. Of course, Shadi was still capable of frying the said objects up with his Ankh.

Cell-phone fried.

Blue-Eyes White Dragon slippers fried.

Expensive Caribbean cigars fried.

x x x x x

"HEY! WHERE'D HE GET THAT STUFF?"

"Hey, I didn't know Kaiba smoked cigars." Joey commented off-handedly.

"Neither did I."

x x x x x

The battle turned towards the bedroom. Yami had finally tired of watching Kaiba's precious artifacts go up in smoke and decided to end the duel once and for all.

"Shadi, I'm warning you..."

KA-BOOM! Entire bed into flames.

"I guess not..."

Yami quickly maneuvered towards the bedroom doorway. He needed a short time-interval, a little delay, for him to implement his plan. Steady now, steady...

Yami closed his eyes and concentrated. A blaze of golden magic circled around him and then settled around Shadi, who was about to unleash yet another mage-blast. But the golden halo enveloped Shadi, leaving Shadi was stuck in a ball of magic.

Shadi growled. Stupid holding traps. Stupid magic. Stupid guards. Stupid stupid stupid stupid...

Yami ran out the room, back down the stairs, and towards a certain room that he had observed while running around from Shadi. It was the central control room, the one that dealt with all of the security of Kaiba's mansion.

Yami sat down, sighed in happiness, and began to hack the computer.

x x x x x

"HEY! THAT'S MY COMPUTER!"

This made Kaiba really angry. Okay, they busted his lamps, blew up the bathroom, and fried his personal stuff. Easily replaced. Expensive, but replaceable.

But this, oh no. Messing around with his computer mainframe was equal to, to...messing with his pride and joy.

"YUGI! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!"

One could almost imagine Kaiba's threats reaching Yami's ears, several miles away.

x x x x x

Yami, while also being a master duelist, was also a master hacker. Staying home all day long or sleeping in his soul room gets to be very dull after a while. Oh, he'd play a few games with Yugi's grandfather, but naturally, Grandpa would always lose. Then Yami had found something that could really challenge him.

Technology.

Oh yes, Yami gobbled up information about computers and radio and the Internet like a starving person. Finally, something that challenged even the King of Games. Even the greatest chess champions have a hard time beating the computer. Yami being no exception, except eventually all of his "duels" with the computer ended in ties. In less than ten minutes.

When even chess began to tire Yami, he found the next great challenge: the Internet. The glorious invention that links everyone to everything. Literally.

To amuse himself, Yami would hack into various computers. Joey's for example. It was quite fun to see the little things that computers store, and to freak Joey out by having funky messages pop up whenever Joey turned off the computer. For a while, Joey thought someone was stalking him, until Yugi jokingly told Joey the truth about Yami's adventures in cyberspace. But then Yami turned towards something even harder.

He hacked the government.

Oh, yes.

He bugged them through with little programs and twists that if Yami decided to light them up, Tokyo would be lit up like a Christmas tree. He hacked into the Pentagon and Osama Bin Laden's network and the old USSR's old databases. Yami could make billions if he sold the info he had access to. But of course, none of that mattered to the King of Games. Besides, Yami wasn't interested in taking over the world. He just wanted a little bit of fun.

Especially with his old adversary.

Yep, Seto Kaiba, CEO of KaibaCorp.

KaibaCorp was one of the best hacker-proof corporations out there. Obviously, with Kaiba as the CEO. But that made it all the more enticing for Yami...

Yami frantically typed away at the computer keyboard. Luckily, this was not Kaiba's main computer mainframe; this was just the main computer for security, and the first one that Yami had hacked into. Now, if he could just find the program he had placed there...

Click, click, click. Ah, there it was. The bug Yami had first put into this computer. Yami quickly accessed it.

Info filled the screen. Lists upon lists upon lists. Yami scrolled down, and clicked on a few selections, and then began typing away like mad. He didn't have much time; the mage-trap he had set on Shadi wouldn't last very long...

x x x x x

Shadi was fuming. Quite literally.

Little wisps of steam were smoking through the mage-trap Yami had placed around Shadi.

His normally blue-green eyes were dark, murderous red. Blood red. Steaming, burning, unthinking, uncomprehending red.

This was not good.

x x x x x

Yami had managed to hack into the security of the second floor. Now he just had to reprogram a few things here and there...

public class Security(password)

private Explosion BlowUpFloors()

floor2.lock();
floor2.disableAll();
floor2.blowUp(bedroom);
floor2.blowUp(windowBD);
floor2.blowUp(camera);
...

Yep, this was going to be fun.

x x x x x

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YUGI!"

Joey stared at Kaiba, amused. "Why in the world are you yelling at the TV?"

"THAT'S MY SECURITY CODE YOU'RE MESSING WITH!"

"Oh, boy..."

"I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!"

Then the screen showed Yami typing in a sidbit of some code:

PoliceCall false;

"WHAT? HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT LINE OF CODE!"

x x x x x

A few more bits of programming and resetting here and there, and then it was finished. A masterpiece of hacking and coding. Yami had certainly become one of the best.

KA-BOOM!

Yami looked up towards the second floor, and then back down at his watch. Shadi had burst the mage-trap in three minutes. In actuality, Yami was surprised Shadi had actually fell for it. But well, when one is angry, one does not think.

Yami could almost hear Egyptian curses raining down from the master bedroom. But Yami shrugged, and entered another, deceptively simple line of code:

Run.Security.BlowUpFloors();

Yami wore the smile he usually wore just before he won a duel.

He was, after all, the King of Games.

And this was nothing more than a lethal, deadly, game.

x x x x x

The floors of Kaiba's mansion shook and rumbled as Shadi began heading down the stairs, ready to take down the pharaoh.

And then, the second floor of Kaiba's mansion imploded on itself.

Yep, that was what Yami had programmed Kaiba's house to do.

See, Kaiba is a security-freak. Really. He loaded his house full of security cameras and traps and safeguards and whatnot. It was fairly easily for Yami to reprogram some things here and there. Such as the thieving mechanism for the second floor.

Originally, Kaiba had programmed that if a major break-in occurred on the second floor, he would collapse the second floor, which would make the stupid thieves fall down into the first floor. Naturally, they would be dazed and easy to arrest, or easy target practice for Kaiba's deadly tongue.

However, Yami had reprogrammed all of that so that the second floor would collapse on his command.

It was kinda fun to have that kind of power.

So poor Shadi, who was still acting like a mad bull, found himself falling down, along with everything else on the second floor.

Wide screen TV.

Entire wardrobe of trench coats.

Small palm tree.

Incidentally, the security room that Yami was sitting in had reinforced steel and was not disturbed by falling objects.

As Shadi fell down towards the blue and white sofa in the living room, his eyes met Yami's for a split second. Yami shuddered. Shadi had turned into someone he no longer recognized. But at least he would not die, like all of the others.

Unfortunately, someone had other ideas.

Shadi's eyes burned red again, and a burst of tainted, black magic surrounded him. Then everything within ten-meter radius burst into flames.

The announcer and Yami had to run outside before the mansion collapsed upon them. Kaiba mansion was now a hump of melting metal, collapsed and crushed. Its only purpose now was a monumental tomb for Shadi. Kaiba's home was no more, and so was Shadi.

"K.O.!"

Yami lowered his head. Shadi had been a loyal supporter. What had happened to Shadi? Why had he suddenly changed? And why was the tainted magic of his past coming back?...

x x x x x

"Pharaoh, you look so confused! Maybe you should wait things out. Oh wait, you can't." A high-pitched giggle. "Because you're precious little hikari's gone! You have to save him!"

A dark man clutched his hands together in mock-pity. "I do hope you save him, Yami! I would be so devastated!"

The man was drunk. Really drunk. But not on alcohol, as one might suspect. It was more sinister, more black, more dark than mere alcohol. He was drunk with Death.

More giggling of happiness gone twisted. And more death came towards the drunkard, wrapping itself around the giddy man.

"Oh goody goody! They're going to play a game! It's going to be lots of fun!"

LoneWolf16: O.O That was weird. I dunno where that came from. Oh, about that code I wrote? It's just a mess of stuff I wrote. It (obviously) doesn't work. It's based off of Java and JavaScript.

bounces- Well, hope you guys liked this one. No real blood and guts or anguish this time. Even the "dark man" at the end is bouncy. O.o Very weird...

Oh, since I'm working on another action/adventure fic, I'm cutting this fic short. It's taking up a lot of time, and I kinda want to get this one done fast. Don't worry, there's still the same number of duels (and deaths) but I'm going to squeeze them into less chapters.

One last thing...I'm changing things around next chapter. Major changes. You thought everything would go this way? Nooo...but I'll give you a hint. Interpret, dissect and conclude this poem to your heart's content: Fire and Ice, by Robert Frost. (Removed due to no-quote-other-than-public-domain-works policy. ...The poem's fairly easy to find, though.)

And that's it. Oh yes, I'm going to up the stakes next chapter. Never expect things to go the way they appear to be going, because I'm sure to change things around. That goes for everything I write...-waves- Till next time!