Disclaimer: Look at prev chaps, Im too tired to do the credits! ::decidedly
throws book down:: No more credits!
Warnings: Oop! I lied, Chapter '8' will be R...but there is some language and slashiness in here
Pairing: Will/Jack
Rating: PG13 for now
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The Finest
Chapter 7
By LunaSeraph
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The California sunlight spilled in through the blinds, and filled the grey room with light. I had never experienced such a strangely comforting dawn. Looking out the window at the ocean, I sighed contentedly. It would be another day with Jack. Hopefully my work wouldn't interfere with anything I had planned today.
I jumped at the sound of my cell phone going off. Groaning agitatedly, I left my position at the window and grabbed it from the desk.
"Hello?"
"Hi!" A light voice greeted me.
"Oh, hi Grace." I smiled, a bit relieved to hear her. "Whats up?"
"Oh nothing." she paused. "How are you guys doing?"
"Well, everything's fine so far...I was planning on going to the zoo with Jack today and then maybe drive down to the border and take a look at Tijuana...not too sure though." I told her, yawning.
"Mexico?! Aw, I wish I could be there!" Grace said sadly. "Well, you'd better have fun for me. And eat some seafood! I heard its great there."
"Grace, all seafood is the same."
"Whatever. It depends on how you look at it...never mind, gotta go, I think Leo's on the other line."
"Ok. Love ya, bye."
"Bye!"
I hung up the phone and walked back towards the beds. My friend was still sleeping, engulfed in the large white comforter. He looked so adorable, I laid back down on the bed and stared at him. He was always a silent sleeper. Only when he was drunk, would he snore or talk in his sleep. I wondered what kind of dreams and nightmares he had. Without thinking about it, I began to stroke his face. This woke him up.
"Will?" he asked, confused. I withdrew my hand and smiled softly.
"Morning." I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. "Im gonna take a shower. We'll get breakfast and then head out after ok?"
"Ok," he replied uncertainly and stretched a bit.
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We went to the famous zoo. It was big and fancy, but to tell the truth I wasn't too impressed. Jack however, was loving it.
There were gift shops everywhere. There was probably more gift shops than animals. Strangely, Jack paid no attention to the shops and focused on seeing the park. I was really liking this more tranquil Jack, however I couldn't shake off the feeling that it was I that had inadvertently coaxed him into this new form of behavior.
We saw every animal. Oddly enough, Jack didn't want to see the little shows they offered. He just wanted to look at every exhibit. I hated it. I don't know what was with me. The place was too big and overrated for its own good. I liked the pandas though. Jack would be silent the whole time we looked at the animals, except for one time.
We were walking through the polar bear exhibit. It was a shaded, and slightly submerged area that windowed the underwater part, where the animals swam. There was no one inside, and there were several benches. Jack walked to one in the back.
"Lets take a break." he suggested and sat down gazing at the thriving creatures through the large window.
I fiddled with my camera a bit. I didn't think I was having as much of a good time as my friend was, however I was glad he was so amazed by the place. Once I sat down, one of the larger polar bears swam by and Jack gasped.
"Wow, would you look at that?" his eyes went wide and he took my hand. I felt kind of weird at that point, and gently pulled my hand away. Jack was indifferent and kept observing the exhibit. With all the confusion I had been expreriencing lately, I wondered how I was able to cope with everything going on.
"I thought they were supposed to be white." Jack frowned.
"Haven't you seen the ones in Central Park? They're darker too." I replied, a bit agitated. "They're only white in their natural environment."
"...oh..." he sighed, but remained fascinated by the animals.
Everytime a polar bear swam by, Jack would get excited and point. He was so much like a kid sometimes, that the feeling of needing to protect him intensified.
"Take a picture of that big one Will! He's in better shape than you are!" he giggled so much, his eyes were almost closed. I was so taken by what he said that I quickly hugged him. I kind of scared him though, but he hugged back. That section of the park was not that isolated, so I pulled back right away and smiled awkwardly.
Pulling out my camera I waited for the bear to come by again.
"Dont you wanna pose next to it?" I joked and prepared the camera.
"No. Just the bear." he said softly, still gazing at it.
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Afterwards, our feet were killing us, but Jack wasn't complaining. I was surprised; walking around that place was torture. We walked out of the zoo and towards the rental car that I had gotten in the morning. Apparently we were in the middle of some center, that had all kinds of different places. I pulled out my map to find a restaurant.
"Hm, there's one just down the street. We could just walk down. There's hardly any parking around. Lets go." he took my arm, which I allowed for the moment. There was no one around.
We made our way past several trees and small buildings, toward Balboa Park, a cultural center. Jack kept looking at an isolated park across the road.
"Whats that?" he pointed. I sighed and opened the map.
"Uh, its a Japanese friendship garden." I said and closed up the map. I was about to continue my way towards the restaurants, but Jack stayed in place.
"Lets go see it." he looked at me and smiled. I groaned in frustration.
"Jack, we're on a schedule..." I protested, before he grabbed my hand and hurried across the street. "Jack..."
"Come on, I just wanna see it. I've never seen one before. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one!" we paused in front of an old little stadium adjacent to the garden. "And maybe we could eat lunch in there."
I gave in. I've seen several Japanese gardens. I didn't think Jack truly understood what one would be like. But if he wanted to see it, I wasn't going to ruin it for him.
I paid the man in the front. Another man, caucasian mind you, came out and bowed. I was a bit irritated by this, I dont know why. Leading us inside, he began talking about the garden and its history. It had nothing too special, just a gate from Japan, several bonsai plants and a few other things. There were a couple of small museums in the garden that he offered to show us, but I didn't want to see those.
We walked by ourselves to the end of the garden. It overlooked a golf course. A bit disgusted, I went over to a small building with stones laid out. I remembered these gardens. They always signified something. Jack and I entered the Japanese style building. There were hardwood floors and a paper door. Once again, there was no one inside. I guess the garden wasn't too popular.
Jack looked highly dissappointed. We sat on a bench, overlooking the stones and stayed quiet.
"...Im sorry..." he whispered, a bit embarrassed for wanting to see the park. "I thought it would be...you know..."
"Well, I guess nothing's as good as you think it'll be."
All of a sudden, he began to cry. I had said it dryly, but I didn't think it would emit the reaction it did. I was so surprised, my heart wrenched in my chest.
"Jack, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling him closer. Without giving me an explanation, he just kept crying quietly. "Its okay Jack...its okay."
"no its not!" I instantly felt guilty.
"You know these gardens...they signify something, they're supposed to be this simple..." I stammered, attempting to console him. I honestly had no idea why he broke down in the little room.
"Explain it to me," he pleaded.
"I dont know. The positions of the rocks, the patterns in which they are placed and the directions the smaller ones are going... they mean something..."
"what do they mean?"
"Im not sure, I wish that tour guide was around..."
"What do YOU think they mean?" he asked, having ceased his crying.
I looked out at the rocks and at the plants surrounding it. I couldn't really gather anything from them. But I did know when one looked at them, they were supposed to draw their own conclusions. There was a large rock, and a slightly smaller one some distance away from it. There was a sea of smaller stones surrounding these larger ones, all combed in a certain direction. In the mid-day sun, the larger one seemed to be looming a bit over the smaller one. I didn't know what to make of it...but it was a friendship garden.
"Well," I began gently. "The larger one is a bit distanced, from the other. They are both going in the same direction...see the little stones laid out?..." Jack nodded. "...the smaller one is alone, but the larger is still watching over it...they are different and apart for now, but always eventually going to meet at the same place, going in the same direction..." I looked at Jack, who had calmed and was gazing at me, with an amazed look on his face.
Taking the sides of his face, I kissed him softly on the lips, easing him all the way. He didn't kiss back, but he didn't pull away either. Withdrawing, I looked down at him.
"It signifies friendship...and love." I concluded and smiled. Satisfied with my explanation, he looked back at the rocks.
Suddenly two women and the tour guide walked in. Jack and I quickly separated ourselves and got up.
"Come on lets go grab lunch."
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"Mm, mm. I haven't had sushi like this...ever!" Jack exclaimed. I smiled at him. I guess Grace was right, it was how you looked at it. Jack eagerly ate his lunch, marveling at how "different" it was. It tasted the same to me.
After eating we got in the car and made our way down the highway towards the border.
"Where are we going now?" Jack asked, observing the scenery of the outskirts of the city.
"Tijuana."
"What? Mexico?" he asked in disbelief.
"Yup." I grinned.
"I didn't know San Diego was next to Mexico." he said in wonder. I began laughing out loud. "Oh be quiet." he pouted.
"Aw Jackie, dont worry. Its gonna be fun."
"What are we gonna do there? Ive never been to Mexico before."
"You know, just shop or see a little bit of the city."
"I want to shop! And THEN see the city." he chirped. "Whats it like? You've been there before right? I hope its like in the commercials, you know the girls in those cute dresses and the street theatre and stuff..." he kept talking as I pulled into a parking lot next to the border. "Hey, we gonna leave the car here?"
"Yeah. We can get a cab real cheap. Plus we dont really need the car down there, we can walk too."
Jack and I crossed the fence, making sure we had our I.D.s and passports handy. Immediately, Jack scrunched his face up at the smell of the place.
"Ew..." he covered his nose.
"Oh you'll get used to it." I smirked and lead him down to a street called Revolution. There were shops everywhere. Cheap silver and trinket merchants lined the whole path. I hurriedly wanted to get out of that place. Luckily there was a street performer to distract Jack from the merchants.
A lady was singing in the middle of the street, dancing with a huge dress.
"Tacky." I said and Jack nodded.
"But her voice is pretty good." Jack smiled.
'Amor que quema Amor que enferma Amor que atrapa Amor que mata!'
"What's she singing, Will?" Jack asked.
"Uh, love that burns, love that makes one ill...I think, love that entraps, love that kills...[1]" I answered, irked by Jack's silence.
"Love that makes one ill," he repeated to himself.
"Come on, theres a wax museum over there." I pointed in the opposite direction.
"Wax museum? Come on Will, I want to go to the shops." he sighed.
"Ugh, fine I'll call a cab."
We spent the rest of the day looking at the different things the Mexican city had to offer. Although Jack wanted to go to the shops, he didn't buy anything. Even when I asked him if he wanted a souvenir he seemed uninterested. At seven I decided it was time to leave. The pedestrian line to get back into the United States was so long, I groaned.
As soon as we got in the line headed for the states, I noticed the merchants on the sides. I didn't want Jack to see this. But it was too late.
As Jack was looking at a billboard, a little boy tugged at his sleeve.
"Dulces? Nomas un dolar..." the little Mexican child held up a box full of different candies. He was shoeless and dirty. Jack looked down at him and then back at me.
"Will?"
"Come here Jack,"
Jack neared me, but still looked disturbed. There were other little merchants and adult ones as well, trying their hand at selling something.
"Will?" Jack asked again, uncertainly. The little boy walked away and tried another set of visitors. An older woman closed in on us with a basket full of false Looney Tunes merchandise. Jack stood behind me, looking down the whole time.
"Tres dolares para uno, por favor, nomas tres dolares." I just ignored her, like everyone else did.
"Will? Why are you ignoring her?" he whispered.
"If I buy something from her, the others will come, thinking Ill buy something from 'them'." I gritted out.
Just then a little girl, with a tiny drum in her hand stood in front of us and began to sing. I could feel Jack clutching the back of my shirt, I dont know if it was out of fear or what. After she was done she looked at us expectantly.
"Tengo hambre, nomas quiero un dolar..." she held out her hand. I could feel Jack trembling behind me.
"Stop that." I ordered him harshly.
"Why did you bring me here?" he whimpered, clenching his eyes shut.
"Por favor, tengo mucho hambre..." she kept whining. Jack shuddered and laid his his forehead on my shoulder.
"Get off, you dont wanna do that here." I told him.
"...nomas un dolar senor, para un hamurgesa, tengo mucho hambre..."
"What is she saying Will?" he whispered, separating himself from me.
I didn't want to tell him.
Eventually, she gave up and moved on to the next tourist.
Gradually we made our way back to the U.S. and into the parking lot where our rental car was. As soon as we got inside the car, Jack began weeping.
"Come on Jack!" I said forcefully, suddenly angered. I didn't want him to see what he saw, but he had seen it. It had ruined everything. "Stop it."
I started the car and waited for my friend to stop. For some reason, I was furious inside. And Jack kept weeping.
"Stop it!" I ordered loudly and turned to him. He looked so small, I wanted to bring him close, but there were different things rushing through my head. Getting fed up, I forced him to sit up straight and look at me. "Stop it. Stop crying. What do you want, huh? I didn't tell you it was going to be perfect! Nothing's what its cracked up to be, okay? Please understand!"
I don't think he understood what I was trying to tell him, but he quieted down. Feeling depressed all of a sudden, I took the car into a fast food place on the side of the road. There was no drive thru, but it didnt matter.
"Want anything?" I asked Jack.
"No."
I walked into the place and ordered some food. I got to talking with the cashier, who was very friendly. Luckily enough, he was gay. I asked him if there was a part of the city where I could find places for people like 'us.' Upon returning to the car I told Jack about it.
"Hey Jack. A guy in there told me of a place in the city called Hillcrest. Its kind of like 'the Village' but of San Diego." I said lightly, handing him a soda. "Here, he marked it on the map. Maybe we can go tomorrow."
He stayed quiet.
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When we returned to the hotel room, Jack walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I just laid on the bed thinking about the day. I could hear him turning off the water and coming out. He stood in the doorway in his bathrobe, staring at me.
"What is it?" I asked sitting up. He walked over to the bed and sat down, still staring at me, this sadness in his eyes.
"Its nothing." he sighed, just gazing at me.
I kissed him on the forehead and looked down at him.
"Dont worry, tomorrow will be better..." I soothed and wrapped my arms around him.
"Will it?" he looked up at me. Our faces were just inches apart. A warm feeling filled me and I had the urge to kiss him on the mouth. So I did. But it wasn't an innocent kiss. I kissed him with all the intensity I had been feeling that day. His lips were so pliant and soft, I wanted to kiss him forever.
Of course, the kiss had awoken something inside of me. I felt like throwing my younger friend on the bed and screwing him silly. And he wasn't resisting, in fact he began initiating some of the act. I made my way on top of him, kissing him on the mouth. God, he tasted nice! At first his arms were around my neck, but his hands soon made their way to my shirt and began to unbutton it.
I kept kissing him, reveling in the sweet taste of his mouth. My lips made their way down his neck. I began kissing him there, the skin was so soft. I slightly bit him and he made a surprised sound.
"Ah!"
I backed up immediately and looked down at him.
"What? whats the matter?" he asked breathlessly.
"This is wrong." I said.
"Wha...?" he frowned in confusion. There he was ready for the taking...but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I sat up on my knees. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. He got up too and attempted to kiss me again. I shoved him aside.
"No, I can't do this." I said firmly and got off the bed.
"Why?" he asked, a genuine look of hurt in his eyes. "What's the matter with me?" he asked me.
"Nothing is the matter. I mean, I want to do it, you can see that." I said gesturing towards my lower body. "I just cant."
I began to pace back and forth. He took my hand.
"I dont care Will, I wont care in the morning, just do this." he pleaded and pulled me closer. He smelled so nice, and he was so willing. Again I felt tempted. I got on the bed, and let him pull me close. But as soon as he resumed unbuttoning my shirt I roughly pushed his hands away.
"No! I cant do this to you!!" I shuddered looking down at him. I wrapped my arms all the way around him.
"You're not doing 'anything' to me!" he began to sob. He writhed in my embrace, attempting to get free. He made struggling sounds, trying to get me to let go and proceed. But I didn't want to do anything...not when I was so confused. Still, he struggled and keened aloud. "I wanna be with you!!" he cried out in such anguish, that my own eyes began to well up.
His robe was opening up, revealing a bit of his smooth, pale skin. He was right there... But I couldn't do anything to him. I didn't want to touch him that way. I didn't want to hurt him. We wound up lying down, him still in my arms, trying to get free. Eventually he tired, and gave up, just crying in my arms. It seemed we were doing a lot of crying that day. He made a miserable sound.
"...why?"
"Im sorry." I choked on my own sobs and held him to me, until we fell asleep.
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TsuDzuKu...
``````````````````` Note:
[1] Karen: "How do you say toy store in Spanish?"
Will: "Tienda de jugetes" I figured Will knows Spanish...
Please review. I know this was a long chap...I apologize! Love ya.
Warnings: Oop! I lied, Chapter '8' will be R...but there is some language and slashiness in here
Pairing: Will/Jack
Rating: PG13 for now
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The Finest
Chapter 7
By LunaSeraph
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The California sunlight spilled in through the blinds, and filled the grey room with light. I had never experienced such a strangely comforting dawn. Looking out the window at the ocean, I sighed contentedly. It would be another day with Jack. Hopefully my work wouldn't interfere with anything I had planned today.
I jumped at the sound of my cell phone going off. Groaning agitatedly, I left my position at the window and grabbed it from the desk.
"Hello?"
"Hi!" A light voice greeted me.
"Oh, hi Grace." I smiled, a bit relieved to hear her. "Whats up?"
"Oh nothing." she paused. "How are you guys doing?"
"Well, everything's fine so far...I was planning on going to the zoo with Jack today and then maybe drive down to the border and take a look at Tijuana...not too sure though." I told her, yawning.
"Mexico?! Aw, I wish I could be there!" Grace said sadly. "Well, you'd better have fun for me. And eat some seafood! I heard its great there."
"Grace, all seafood is the same."
"Whatever. It depends on how you look at it...never mind, gotta go, I think Leo's on the other line."
"Ok. Love ya, bye."
"Bye!"
I hung up the phone and walked back towards the beds. My friend was still sleeping, engulfed in the large white comforter. He looked so adorable, I laid back down on the bed and stared at him. He was always a silent sleeper. Only when he was drunk, would he snore or talk in his sleep. I wondered what kind of dreams and nightmares he had. Without thinking about it, I began to stroke his face. This woke him up.
"Will?" he asked, confused. I withdrew my hand and smiled softly.
"Morning." I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. "Im gonna take a shower. We'll get breakfast and then head out after ok?"
"Ok," he replied uncertainly and stretched a bit.
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We went to the famous zoo. It was big and fancy, but to tell the truth I wasn't too impressed. Jack however, was loving it.
There were gift shops everywhere. There was probably more gift shops than animals. Strangely, Jack paid no attention to the shops and focused on seeing the park. I was really liking this more tranquil Jack, however I couldn't shake off the feeling that it was I that had inadvertently coaxed him into this new form of behavior.
We saw every animal. Oddly enough, Jack didn't want to see the little shows they offered. He just wanted to look at every exhibit. I hated it. I don't know what was with me. The place was too big and overrated for its own good. I liked the pandas though. Jack would be silent the whole time we looked at the animals, except for one time.
We were walking through the polar bear exhibit. It was a shaded, and slightly submerged area that windowed the underwater part, where the animals swam. There was no one inside, and there were several benches. Jack walked to one in the back.
"Lets take a break." he suggested and sat down gazing at the thriving creatures through the large window.
I fiddled with my camera a bit. I didn't think I was having as much of a good time as my friend was, however I was glad he was so amazed by the place. Once I sat down, one of the larger polar bears swam by and Jack gasped.
"Wow, would you look at that?" his eyes went wide and he took my hand. I felt kind of weird at that point, and gently pulled my hand away. Jack was indifferent and kept observing the exhibit. With all the confusion I had been expreriencing lately, I wondered how I was able to cope with everything going on.
"I thought they were supposed to be white." Jack frowned.
"Haven't you seen the ones in Central Park? They're darker too." I replied, a bit agitated. "They're only white in their natural environment."
"...oh..." he sighed, but remained fascinated by the animals.
Everytime a polar bear swam by, Jack would get excited and point. He was so much like a kid sometimes, that the feeling of needing to protect him intensified.
"Take a picture of that big one Will! He's in better shape than you are!" he giggled so much, his eyes were almost closed. I was so taken by what he said that I quickly hugged him. I kind of scared him though, but he hugged back. That section of the park was not that isolated, so I pulled back right away and smiled awkwardly.
Pulling out my camera I waited for the bear to come by again.
"Dont you wanna pose next to it?" I joked and prepared the camera.
"No. Just the bear." he said softly, still gazing at it.
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Afterwards, our feet were killing us, but Jack wasn't complaining. I was surprised; walking around that place was torture. We walked out of the zoo and towards the rental car that I had gotten in the morning. Apparently we were in the middle of some center, that had all kinds of different places. I pulled out my map to find a restaurant.
"Hm, there's one just down the street. We could just walk down. There's hardly any parking around. Lets go." he took my arm, which I allowed for the moment. There was no one around.
We made our way past several trees and small buildings, toward Balboa Park, a cultural center. Jack kept looking at an isolated park across the road.
"Whats that?" he pointed. I sighed and opened the map.
"Uh, its a Japanese friendship garden." I said and closed up the map. I was about to continue my way towards the restaurants, but Jack stayed in place.
"Lets go see it." he looked at me and smiled. I groaned in frustration.
"Jack, we're on a schedule..." I protested, before he grabbed my hand and hurried across the street. "Jack..."
"Come on, I just wanna see it. I've never seen one before. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one!" we paused in front of an old little stadium adjacent to the garden. "And maybe we could eat lunch in there."
I gave in. I've seen several Japanese gardens. I didn't think Jack truly understood what one would be like. But if he wanted to see it, I wasn't going to ruin it for him.
I paid the man in the front. Another man, caucasian mind you, came out and bowed. I was a bit irritated by this, I dont know why. Leading us inside, he began talking about the garden and its history. It had nothing too special, just a gate from Japan, several bonsai plants and a few other things. There were a couple of small museums in the garden that he offered to show us, but I didn't want to see those.
We walked by ourselves to the end of the garden. It overlooked a golf course. A bit disgusted, I went over to a small building with stones laid out. I remembered these gardens. They always signified something. Jack and I entered the Japanese style building. There were hardwood floors and a paper door. Once again, there was no one inside. I guess the garden wasn't too popular.
Jack looked highly dissappointed. We sat on a bench, overlooking the stones and stayed quiet.
"...Im sorry..." he whispered, a bit embarrassed for wanting to see the park. "I thought it would be...you know..."
"Well, I guess nothing's as good as you think it'll be."
All of a sudden, he began to cry. I had said it dryly, but I didn't think it would emit the reaction it did. I was so surprised, my heart wrenched in my chest.
"Jack, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling him closer. Without giving me an explanation, he just kept crying quietly. "Its okay Jack...its okay."
"no its not!" I instantly felt guilty.
"You know these gardens...they signify something, they're supposed to be this simple..." I stammered, attempting to console him. I honestly had no idea why he broke down in the little room.
"Explain it to me," he pleaded.
"I dont know. The positions of the rocks, the patterns in which they are placed and the directions the smaller ones are going... they mean something..."
"what do they mean?"
"Im not sure, I wish that tour guide was around..."
"What do YOU think they mean?" he asked, having ceased his crying.
I looked out at the rocks and at the plants surrounding it. I couldn't really gather anything from them. But I did know when one looked at them, they were supposed to draw their own conclusions. There was a large rock, and a slightly smaller one some distance away from it. There was a sea of smaller stones surrounding these larger ones, all combed in a certain direction. In the mid-day sun, the larger one seemed to be looming a bit over the smaller one. I didn't know what to make of it...but it was a friendship garden.
"Well," I began gently. "The larger one is a bit distanced, from the other. They are both going in the same direction...see the little stones laid out?..." Jack nodded. "...the smaller one is alone, but the larger is still watching over it...they are different and apart for now, but always eventually going to meet at the same place, going in the same direction..." I looked at Jack, who had calmed and was gazing at me, with an amazed look on his face.
Taking the sides of his face, I kissed him softly on the lips, easing him all the way. He didn't kiss back, but he didn't pull away either. Withdrawing, I looked down at him.
"It signifies friendship...and love." I concluded and smiled. Satisfied with my explanation, he looked back at the rocks.
Suddenly two women and the tour guide walked in. Jack and I quickly separated ourselves and got up.
"Come on lets go grab lunch."
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"Mm, mm. I haven't had sushi like this...ever!" Jack exclaimed. I smiled at him. I guess Grace was right, it was how you looked at it. Jack eagerly ate his lunch, marveling at how "different" it was. It tasted the same to me.
After eating we got in the car and made our way down the highway towards the border.
"Where are we going now?" Jack asked, observing the scenery of the outskirts of the city.
"Tijuana."
"What? Mexico?" he asked in disbelief.
"Yup." I grinned.
"I didn't know San Diego was next to Mexico." he said in wonder. I began laughing out loud. "Oh be quiet." he pouted.
"Aw Jackie, dont worry. Its gonna be fun."
"What are we gonna do there? Ive never been to Mexico before."
"You know, just shop or see a little bit of the city."
"I want to shop! And THEN see the city." he chirped. "Whats it like? You've been there before right? I hope its like in the commercials, you know the girls in those cute dresses and the street theatre and stuff..." he kept talking as I pulled into a parking lot next to the border. "Hey, we gonna leave the car here?"
"Yeah. We can get a cab real cheap. Plus we dont really need the car down there, we can walk too."
Jack and I crossed the fence, making sure we had our I.D.s and passports handy. Immediately, Jack scrunched his face up at the smell of the place.
"Ew..." he covered his nose.
"Oh you'll get used to it." I smirked and lead him down to a street called Revolution. There were shops everywhere. Cheap silver and trinket merchants lined the whole path. I hurriedly wanted to get out of that place. Luckily there was a street performer to distract Jack from the merchants.
A lady was singing in the middle of the street, dancing with a huge dress.
"Tacky." I said and Jack nodded.
"But her voice is pretty good." Jack smiled.
'Amor que quema Amor que enferma Amor que atrapa Amor que mata!'
"What's she singing, Will?" Jack asked.
"Uh, love that burns, love that makes one ill...I think, love that entraps, love that kills...[1]" I answered, irked by Jack's silence.
"Love that makes one ill," he repeated to himself.
"Come on, theres a wax museum over there." I pointed in the opposite direction.
"Wax museum? Come on Will, I want to go to the shops." he sighed.
"Ugh, fine I'll call a cab."
We spent the rest of the day looking at the different things the Mexican city had to offer. Although Jack wanted to go to the shops, he didn't buy anything. Even when I asked him if he wanted a souvenir he seemed uninterested. At seven I decided it was time to leave. The pedestrian line to get back into the United States was so long, I groaned.
As soon as we got in the line headed for the states, I noticed the merchants on the sides. I didn't want Jack to see this. But it was too late.
As Jack was looking at a billboard, a little boy tugged at his sleeve.
"Dulces? Nomas un dolar..." the little Mexican child held up a box full of different candies. He was shoeless and dirty. Jack looked down at him and then back at me.
"Will?"
"Come here Jack,"
Jack neared me, but still looked disturbed. There were other little merchants and adult ones as well, trying their hand at selling something.
"Will?" Jack asked again, uncertainly. The little boy walked away and tried another set of visitors. An older woman closed in on us with a basket full of false Looney Tunes merchandise. Jack stood behind me, looking down the whole time.
"Tres dolares para uno, por favor, nomas tres dolares." I just ignored her, like everyone else did.
"Will? Why are you ignoring her?" he whispered.
"If I buy something from her, the others will come, thinking Ill buy something from 'them'." I gritted out.
Just then a little girl, with a tiny drum in her hand stood in front of us and began to sing. I could feel Jack clutching the back of my shirt, I dont know if it was out of fear or what. After she was done she looked at us expectantly.
"Tengo hambre, nomas quiero un dolar..." she held out her hand. I could feel Jack trembling behind me.
"Stop that." I ordered him harshly.
"Why did you bring me here?" he whimpered, clenching his eyes shut.
"Por favor, tengo mucho hambre..." she kept whining. Jack shuddered and laid his his forehead on my shoulder.
"Get off, you dont wanna do that here." I told him.
"...nomas un dolar senor, para un hamurgesa, tengo mucho hambre..."
"What is she saying Will?" he whispered, separating himself from me.
I didn't want to tell him.
Eventually, she gave up and moved on to the next tourist.
Gradually we made our way back to the U.S. and into the parking lot where our rental car was. As soon as we got inside the car, Jack began weeping.
"Come on Jack!" I said forcefully, suddenly angered. I didn't want him to see what he saw, but he had seen it. It had ruined everything. "Stop it."
I started the car and waited for my friend to stop. For some reason, I was furious inside. And Jack kept weeping.
"Stop it!" I ordered loudly and turned to him. He looked so small, I wanted to bring him close, but there were different things rushing through my head. Getting fed up, I forced him to sit up straight and look at me. "Stop it. Stop crying. What do you want, huh? I didn't tell you it was going to be perfect! Nothing's what its cracked up to be, okay? Please understand!"
I don't think he understood what I was trying to tell him, but he quieted down. Feeling depressed all of a sudden, I took the car into a fast food place on the side of the road. There was no drive thru, but it didnt matter.
"Want anything?" I asked Jack.
"No."
I walked into the place and ordered some food. I got to talking with the cashier, who was very friendly. Luckily enough, he was gay. I asked him if there was a part of the city where I could find places for people like 'us.' Upon returning to the car I told Jack about it.
"Hey Jack. A guy in there told me of a place in the city called Hillcrest. Its kind of like 'the Village' but of San Diego." I said lightly, handing him a soda. "Here, he marked it on the map. Maybe we can go tomorrow."
He stayed quiet.
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When we returned to the hotel room, Jack walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I just laid on the bed thinking about the day. I could hear him turning off the water and coming out. He stood in the doorway in his bathrobe, staring at me.
"What is it?" I asked sitting up. He walked over to the bed and sat down, still staring at me, this sadness in his eyes.
"Its nothing." he sighed, just gazing at me.
I kissed him on the forehead and looked down at him.
"Dont worry, tomorrow will be better..." I soothed and wrapped my arms around him.
"Will it?" he looked up at me. Our faces were just inches apart. A warm feeling filled me and I had the urge to kiss him on the mouth. So I did. But it wasn't an innocent kiss. I kissed him with all the intensity I had been feeling that day. His lips were so pliant and soft, I wanted to kiss him forever.
Of course, the kiss had awoken something inside of me. I felt like throwing my younger friend on the bed and screwing him silly. And he wasn't resisting, in fact he began initiating some of the act. I made my way on top of him, kissing him on the mouth. God, he tasted nice! At first his arms were around my neck, but his hands soon made their way to my shirt and began to unbutton it.
I kept kissing him, reveling in the sweet taste of his mouth. My lips made their way down his neck. I began kissing him there, the skin was so soft. I slightly bit him and he made a surprised sound.
"Ah!"
I backed up immediately and looked down at him.
"What? whats the matter?" he asked breathlessly.
"This is wrong." I said.
"Wha...?" he frowned in confusion. There he was ready for the taking...but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I sat up on my knees. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. He got up too and attempted to kiss me again. I shoved him aside.
"No, I can't do this." I said firmly and got off the bed.
"Why?" he asked, a genuine look of hurt in his eyes. "What's the matter with me?" he asked me.
"Nothing is the matter. I mean, I want to do it, you can see that." I said gesturing towards my lower body. "I just cant."
I began to pace back and forth. He took my hand.
"I dont care Will, I wont care in the morning, just do this." he pleaded and pulled me closer. He smelled so nice, and he was so willing. Again I felt tempted. I got on the bed, and let him pull me close. But as soon as he resumed unbuttoning my shirt I roughly pushed his hands away.
"No! I cant do this to you!!" I shuddered looking down at him. I wrapped my arms all the way around him.
"You're not doing 'anything' to me!" he began to sob. He writhed in my embrace, attempting to get free. He made struggling sounds, trying to get me to let go and proceed. But I didn't want to do anything...not when I was so confused. Still, he struggled and keened aloud. "I wanna be with you!!" he cried out in such anguish, that my own eyes began to well up.
His robe was opening up, revealing a bit of his smooth, pale skin. He was right there... But I couldn't do anything to him. I didn't want to touch him that way. I didn't want to hurt him. We wound up lying down, him still in my arms, trying to get free. Eventually he tired, and gave up, just crying in my arms. It seemed we were doing a lot of crying that day. He made a miserable sound.
"...why?"
"Im sorry." I choked on my own sobs and held him to me, until we fell asleep.
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TsuDzuKu...
``````````````````` Note:
[1] Karen: "How do you say toy store in Spanish?"
Will: "Tienda de jugetes" I figured Will knows Spanish...
Please review. I know this was a long chap...I apologize! Love ya.