Title: Vulnerable
Disclaimer: not mine
Paring: Danny/CJ
Characters: Toby, Leo, Jed, Carol, Donna (not as much air time as I'd hope) and Josh.
NOVEMBER 2006
"Only two months CJ…" Danny was being his usual adorable self.
"Danny I can't do this today.."
"Only two months and counting. "
"Carol make him go away…" she said to her as they entered Carol's office
"Should I wiggle my noise, or fold my arms like Jeannie this time.." Carol spoke in passing as she past them.
"Your use of pop culture humor astounds me Carol," she yelled dryly following Carol with her head. Danny continued talking as they entered her office.
"…I got you this calendar so you can keep track..." He took a small wall calendar from his hand. "I thought you could mark off the dates with little red hearts…"
"Danny!" CJ slammed her door shut. "You know you're not making this any easier."
"Should I?"
"Should you what?"
"Make it easier on you."
"Yes, Danny. You're not suppose to bug me. You're not suppose to harasses me-
"One I'm not harassing you. Harassing is a very strong word-"
"Danny—"
"I'm sorry I can't help myself..."
"Help yourself, Danny! Please! Help yourself..."
"Very funny," he said sarcastically.
"I really mean it, Danny…"
"See, I don't think your being pretty sympathetic to my cause here either..."
"I am very sympathetic to your cause, Danny. Now if I make a donation with you just get out of my face."
"You know you could show me a little of the same in return here—"
"What's that suppose to mean. I have-"
"-I don't think you realize how hard it is to have to work day in and day out with a person you're in love with!"
"Well, you're wrong there!"
"Am I?"
"Yes you are!"
"Who would that be!"
"You, you idiot!"
"I see!" He paused. "I so want to kiss you right now!"
"Me too! But you can't!" CJ opened the door. "You have to leave, Danny-" She lowered her head.
"Okay." He walked out but faced her as he past. "Just two more months and you're not the Press Secretary any more, CJ. "
A MONTH LATER: A Few days before Christmas.
Toby and Josh sat in Leo's office ready to start senior staff. Leo walked in
"Hey. " Leo looked and saw no CJ. "Where's, CJ?"
"She's coming," Josh spoke.
"I think she poured coffee on something..." Toby continued.
"On herself?" Leo asked wondering if it wasn't herself why she would be late.
"I didn't ask?" Toby never thought he should.
Margaret entered the room and handed Leo a note. He looked at the note and then at Margaret. He saw her eyes well up and understood. The other wingers didn't. Margaret ran out and Leo looked at the staff.
"Danny Concannon along with three other service men where shot down over the Qumar boarder where they we're taken hostage," Leo read with a somber voice.
"What?" Josh shot up.
"When was this?" Toby asked.
"About two hours ago. He was doing a story... and an hour ago the kidnappers emailed pictures of all four of them with today's newspaper..."
"Do we know anything else?" Toby questioned while Josh sat down shaken, burying his head in his hands and than lifted his head.
"No." Leo answered.
"CJ-?" Josh spoke to himself. "Does CJ-?"
"No." Leo shook his head.
With that CJ walked into the room.
"Hey." CJ smiled. "I'm sorry I'm late I spilled coffee on my.-" She noticed all the looks on her. It was of three grown men with a look of sadness and concern on their faces. "What's going on?"
"CJ?" Josh didn't know what to say. He just stood there with no words.
"What?" She laughed giving him a half-cocked look. Toby stood up and walked past the men in front of CJ.
"CJ, a plane was shot down over Qumar two hours ago. Hostages were taken."
"Yeah—" CJ started to open her folder for paper. "How many-?"
"Danny was on the flight."
"What?" CJ wasn't sure she heard
"He was doing a story..." Leo chimed in.
"Danny's one of the hostages?" CJ asked, not believing it.
"Yes..." Leo answered
"Yes—" Toby concurred.
CJ felt like she had been socked in the stomach. All her breath was gone. She tried to catch it, but her insides felt empty and slimy. She felt the inside of her sucked out through the bottom of her body and top of her head.
"CJ?" Toby was concerned.
"In Qumar...?" CJ asked holding back emotion.
"CJ." Josh chimed in. "He'll be fine. We'll take care of this..."
"In Qumar where they kill journal-" CJ couldn't let it seep in. CJ caught her breath. She felt sick.
"Do you need to sit down?" Toby asked.
"No, No. I'm fine." She took a breath and looked down. Toby tried to go to her. "NO!" She waved him away. "No!" CJ took put her hand on her waist and took another breath. She could do this. She could hold it together. She looked at the men looking at her not knowing what to do.
"CJ?" Leo asked. CJ didn't even hear him.
"I'm ok." She took a breath holding it all in. "Let's get this going. When can I brief this—." CJ Began to find a place in her notes.
"CJ?" Toby questioned her.
"No, no. Let's get this going." The men in CJ's life could see their friend unraveling in front of them.
"You know, lets postpone this meeting for the moment. Get our heads together. Absorb this information. Danny is our friend. Let's take a moment so we can think straight. I'll see you all back here in a half hour." Leo put on his glasses and went back to his work. Toby, CJ and Josh all nodded their heads. CJ was gone first, so quickly Josh and Toby noticed only her back out the door. Toby began to leap after her, but Leo waved him off.
"Leave her alone."
"—I wasn't—" he lied.
"Leave her alone."
"Ok." He said to stop the conversation.
CJ walked to office running into Carol.
"Hey boss." Carol always with a smile.
"Carol." CJ's voice was sad and heavy with emotion. Carol knew something was wrong.
"I—" She stopped and looked into Carol's eyes. "Come into my office." CJ took Carol into her office to tell her the news of Danny.
"CJ! CJ!" The reporters yelled.
"Terry."
"CJ, is it true one of the hostages is Danny Concannon."
"Yes, he was covering the unit for a story." She called on another, "Shelia?—"
"Will the personal relationship the White House has with Danny Concannon have anything to do with the way this hostage situation is handled?"
"Danny Concannon has always been a friend of this administration, but-no." She paused. "The United States does not deal with terrorists." She paused taking in her own words. She looked around. "That's enough questions for now. I'll be back with updates with in the hour—" CJ walked out of the press room with the sounds and sights of the news room behind her. She was noticeable shaken.
"How are you doing CJ?" The President asked.
"I'm fine sir."
"I know you and Danny were-are close,"
"As close as any of us are, sir".
"But he's from your Press Room—we just got to know him on the road. You see him everyday—" Jed knew the real reason, but didn't want to embarrasses CJ.
"Yes, sir."
"Go, home and get some sleep."
"No, that's all right, sir. I wouldn't get much sleep anyway. I'll just stay here. Wait for the updates."
"Alright."
"Mr. President?" CJ asked The President.
"Yes, CJ?"
"What are we doing? To get them back—"
"It's American'sm CJ were doing all we can—"
"Yes, sir."
CJ walked out of the Oval.
TEN HOURS LATER
"What's this?" The President looked at the note. His face lowered. Leo looked at The President. Toby, Josh and Leo did the same.
"CJ, I think you need to leave the room?" Leo told her.
"Why?!" CJ asked.
"Because you're not an advisor on policy-!" Leo yelled at her.
"It's alright. Let her stay—" Jed took his glasses off and looked at CJ.
"What does the note say?" CJ asked.
"They say if their demands aren't met in twenty four hours they start executing the hostages."
CJ took a breath. She had to hold it together. She had to hold it together.
"How did this happen, Leo?!" The President demanded.
"They were shot down on the enemy line. They were vulnerable."
Charlie walked into the oval office he nodded his head to The President.
"They need me?" Jed asked.
"Yes, sir Nancy McNally phoned up."
'Ok, we can finish this later." Jed waved his hands for them to leave.
Everyone filed out.
Toby met CJ at the pace.
"Do you need to talk?"
"No. I'm fine—"
"It's ok for you to have an emotion, CJ.?"
"I'm fine Toby."
"—I'm talking about any emotion, CJ! We all knew him. You can be upset. You can be mad".
"I have to go prepare for a briefing and we all know him Toby. We all know him."
LATER
Toby walked into CJ's office. She sat on the couch dazed.
"Hey," Toby spoke plainly.
"Hey," she answered looking out at him. He walked over to her. "Any news?"
"Yeah."
She saw the dread of pain on Toby's face.
"They sent you in to tell me."
"Yeah."
"Is he dead?" CJ was being strong, as the emotion entered her Adam's apple.
"No. He's not dead."
"What are they doing—." She was still being strong.
"They're preparing for a rescue mission-"
"Thank god."
"For tomorrow—"
"Toby, that will be-"
"-An hour after the deadline I know."
"Toby-"
"It's when they can get things together-" CJ stood up, holding her emotions at bay by pacing with her hand shifting on her hip. "CJ, they know what they're doing-
"Yeah—"
"They just feel-"
"They're killing a hostage every hour so—I get it. I get it-"
"It might not be-"
"Toby, when hostages are taken they kill the most high profile first. The one that will get them the attention they need. They kill the Journalists first, Toby. They kill them first."
"CJ, I hope you understand why we have to do this—." The President took a moment to answer CJ's tone.
"I'm afraid I don't sir." CJ was blunt.
"CJ!" Leo scolded her.
"I don't see why we can't send in the troops now, Mr. President."
"Because it's not safe, CJ. I'm doing what the Joint Chiefs have recommended. Do you want to go down into the situation room and tell them what to do—"
"No, sir." She took a breath.
Jed turned away thinking she was done. "I'm done with you, CJ-"
"You can't just do nothing!" She couldn't hold it in.
"We're doing something, CJ. It's the only option we got—"
"It's not the only option."
"CJ, I think you should go get some air," Toby yelled. "I think we all should."
"Let the women speak!" Jed answered, "Are you saying The United States should deal with terrorists, CJ. Is that what you're saying—"
"Yes!"
"- I hope that's not what you're saying! We don't deal with terrorists, CJ! You know that?"
"They kill the journalist first!"
"I can't do anything, CJ! I can't! You don't think I want to?! There is nothing I can do about it, CJ! It doesn't matter if it's Danny, or Zoey, or a nice doctor with a newborn baby! I can't do anything!"
"They kill the journalist first," she said stoned cold looking as if she would begin to shake at any minute.
"I think we need to end this meeting now." Leo stood up and interrupted.
"Fine with me!" CJ walked out of the oval office and made her way to her office. Leo caught her as she entered Carol's area.
"That was uncalled for back there. If this is too close for you-."
"I can do this, Leo!-"
"Whatever personal feelings you have for Danny Concannon have to be left at the door on this one. We all care about him, CJ. I know you-have a special relationship-"
"Nothing ever happened between us, Leo!"
"I'm not saying-" He took a breath. "Consider yourself warned. We all don't like this. However, we have to do this. Because I will take you off this if I have to. When it comes to decisions in this place—that's the way it has to be."
Leo walked away and CJ made her way down the hallways and into her office not knowing what to do. Her emotions made her movements frenetic as they fought to come to the surface.
Toby followed CJ and stood in the doorway, he watched her actions. CJ fell to her knees. Toby went to her, kneeling down, and grabbing her by her arms.
"CJ, Let it out," Toby almost demanded. CJ wouldn't look at him, holding in her tears. "Look at me. You can't do this. It isn't healthy. I should know." He tired to make her laugh on the last line.
He could hear her tears coming to the surface as she fought him. "Look at me, CJ. Look at me, god dammit!" She looked at him. "I know you care about him. And not the way everyone else does. I don't know how evolved it is. I don't care. I don't need to know. Just let it out." CJ burst into tears and leaned into Toby . "There, there." He said stroking her hair. "It's ok." He hushed her.
It was heavy animal crying that had stayed too long caged in CJ's heart. She just needed to cry and someone to hold her. Her sobs were sobs of almost eight years of turmoil as well as the day's events. It was difficult to listen to as her heart open raw, but Toby held her tight as friends do.
"Oh God." Carol stood at the doorway startled by the site of Toby and a crying CJ on their knees. "He's not—."
"No." Toby looked at Carol as she looked paralyzed. " Get her a glass of water would you?—"
"Yeah—" Carol ran off.
"Come on." Toby brought CJ over to her couch. Her crying had silenced a bit as she took in air. Toby let her body weight fall on him.
Carol came in with the glass of water. She looked scared and concerned, for her boss's well being, as she handed the glass over tentatively. She had never seen CJ act like this.
"Thanks." Toby smiled his half smile. "Can you leave us alone?" He asked Carol.
"Yeah. Sure". She walked to the door and took one more look back before leaving and shutting the door behind her.
"Here. Take this. You have to drink something, CJ. Drink this."
CJ lifted her head and took a drink. She handed the glass back to Toby and set her head on his shoulder and chest again. She took a swallow.
"You good?" He said in a soft motherly way.
"Better," she said in barley a whisper.
"Good." He paused. "We can stay here as long as you want."
"Not much longer—"
"Okay…"
"You want me to drive you home?"
"No."
"Okay."
There was a silent pause as CJ leaned on her friend. Toby looked at her occasionally, but mostly he let her be.
"We were so close, Toby?"
"Yeah."
"He said he loved me," CJ spoke, wiping away her tears. Toby didn't know what to say. "Just two more weeks—."
There was another short pause between them. Toby looked down at his friend he felt he couldn't help. Toby still wanted to help CJ somehow.
"What do you need, CJ? What can I do?"
"What do I need?" She repeated. "What do I need?"
"What will make you feel better?"
Oh God...
Where are you now?
And what you gonna do
About the mess I've made
If there was ever a soul to save
It must be me
It must be me
~Annie Lennon Oh God (Prayer)
Toby walked down the hallway crossing paths with The President. Toby was surprised to see him in his parts.
"Toby. Have you seen, CJ? I think I was a little hard on her before I'd like to talk to her. Have you seen her? "
"Yes, sir. But she's not here. She just left."
"She did? Where did she go?"
"Well, sir." Toby lowered his head and then lifted it back up again. "She went to pray."
CJ entered the Cathedral.
Dear god...
Oh how can I survive?
Will I make this drop this dive?
When it all comes to this
She didn't think she had been there since Mrs. Landingham's funeral. And before that who didn't know how long. Being Catholic was something CJ hadn't thought of recently, but she was compelled back to her faith this night. The chapel was empty of people making her purpose seem more sorrowful. She stood in front of the rows and rows of candles knowing she would soon be lighting one for Danny.
"CJ?" Jed softly said her name behind her.
"Mr. President?"
"I was hoping I could pray with you."
I'm looking down at the abyss
Where you don't exist
You don't exist
Dressed in the tattered dirty clothes of his capture Danny Concannon, blindfolded to his captors, was forced down to his knees.
CJ lit her candle for Danny and handed her light to The President to do the same. Jed took CJ's hand and they prayed.
but if you hear me
If you can see me...
I know I can't be that strong
'Cause everything I ever did went wrong
Everything I ever did went wrong
Danny closed his eyes watching his life in front of him unfold. It was funny the things that go through your head when your close to death. And the one most vivid; was her. He heard noises in a language he did not understand. Danny prayed for his life.
The president and CJ closed their eyes. CJ prayed in English and The President in Latin.
Oh god
Now where do I come in?
Gone and broken everything
Danny could feel the metal of the gun against his scull. It caused him to raise his tied hands up from his waist. Danny prayed. He prayed prayers from his past in his head.
CJ looked at Jed and repeated what he said in Latin. Jed teaching her as they went.
So I hope you'll understand
if someone needed a helping hand
It must be now
It must be now
Noise. More noise. Danny heard noise. Words he understood. He was thrown to the grown unsure what was going on. He heard voices; American voices.
"Carol! Carol!" CJ yelled. "He's alive!"
"He's alive!"
"He's alive!" The two women hugged each other.
'He's alive!?" Josh yelled from the hallway. "I just heard?"
"Yes."
"All the service men—?" Josh asked.
"And the rescue crew—."
'That's amazing—"Josh was pleased.
"I have to go brief!" CJ was ecstatic. She excited her office.
"Danny's ok?" Donna asked Josh as he followed CJ.
"Yeah, he's fine. "
"When does he get back?"
"CJ!" Josh yelled, as CJ was about to enter the pressroom.
'When are they flying them home?"
"Tonight." She smiled her biggest smile. "He flies home tonight."
THE NEXT DAY
CJ walked into her office. She placed a folder on her desk. She was actually humming to herself as she put food in Gail's bowl.
"Now, that's a nice Fish you got there." Danny spoke from CJ's couch.
"Danny!" She spun around.
"I'd get up, but I can't" He pointed to the cast on his foot.
"You're here?" She was in shock. "You're alive?"
"Yes."
CJ wrapped her arms around Danny causing him to fall backwards on the couch.
"Whoa there," he said.
"Did I hurt you?" She said lifting herself off him.
"No, I'm not breakable-yet."
"I was so worried for you, Danny—"
"Yeah, I know you were." He moved the hair away from her face. "I'm sorry you had to go though that.
"Did Toby—"
"I just knew—" He leaned in and kissed her softly. CJ let him do it.
'I'm sorry," he said after he leaned back. "I just had to. It's all I thought about."
"It's alright."
"May I kiss you again?"
"Yes."
Danny leaned in and kissed CJ again. It was a long passionate kiss like when sailors kiss their wives on their return home.
"It's like old times," Danny joked.
"I think I love you, Danny. I mean I know I do. I thought I did. I know I sort of told you in my office that day, but now I know it." He kissed her again. "Danny, you should go home and rest."
"I've rested enough. I slept on the plane to Germany and I slept on the plane here. I'm done with resting. I want to be here with you."
"Me too."
"Ahh-I can't—"hHe said realizing something.
"What?"
"I forgot, I have to meet with The President—" Danny hated it, but it was a man of commitment.
"Oh, yeah." CJ wiped tears from her face and stood up so Danny could stand as well.
"Could you hand me my cane?" Danny put his arm out and CJ handed him the cane next to the couch. She watched him walk to the door.
"CJ?"
"Yeah."
"Two more weeks." He smiled and began to walk away, but stopped. "I'm gonna marry you, CJ Cregg! I'm gonna marry you." He smiled and walked away.
CJ smiled and watched him walk off. CJ watched Carol find Danny as she walked into her office. She screamed and yelled, wrapping her
arms around Danny. CJ laughed as Danny tried to back free from Carol's grip, but couldn't. CJ wiped a tear off her cheek.
"He's gonna marry me." She smiled softly to her self.