Finishing a truly boring period of Herbology, Sirius accompanied Celeste out to the courtyard before her next hour. The remaining beautiful days were numbered. Only having a handful of minutes before their next class, Sirius had wanted a break from the stuffy classrooms, dragging Celeste along for company.
Celeste walked under a big tree that supplied as a good backrest, though slightly bumpy. Sirius stood with his arm up against it looking down at her as she sat. He looked around and felt her grab his hand and yank him down. His hand snapped up at the might of her pull. Sirius' eyes went big as he saw someone up in the tree, not but ten feet above him. He looked back over at Celeste his mind racing.
"Won't you be a dear and save me a seat in Charms?" he asked her politely, giving her a charming smile. "I need to make a quick dash to the library where I left my book so I'll be a tad late."
"Of course, Sirius." She batted her eyes with a giggle and ran off to class.
Sirius waited until he knew she had gone and looked up again. There sat Ava sitting on a sturdy branch, her back against the trunk of the tree, her knees tucked up. She had her head down against her crossed arms barced on her knees when he noticed her, now she was looking down at him red faced.
Sirius reached his arm up and jumped up to a division of the trunk at four and a half feet. Very squirrel like, he hopped up to another parting of the trunk further up almost level with Ava. He sat down somewhat comfortably, and looked concernedly at her.
"I know I don't need to ask if there's something wrong," he stated the obvious. "But I'll listen if you need to talk to someone."
She didn't say anything. However, he wasn't going to leave her like this so he waited. Class had definitely begun by the time she looked at him. Sighing with frustration she looked mentally disorganized. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Her eyes were still red.
Sirius reached over and put his hand on her arm, trying to give her comforting gesture. She looked down at his hand and back over at him. He could see raw pain in her eyes. She looked away again and buried her head in her arms. Had Sirius not been so concerned over her it might have been funny the way she way tightly curled up on the branch. On an impulse, he jumped back down to the first trunk seperation. Two feet firmly planted and one arm wrapped around the trunk that she leaned against further up he raised his arm up to her. Since she didn't look up he gave her a gentle tap, jolting her to attention. She looked down confused at him.
"C'mon, take it." Sirius urged her. "I won't let anything happen to you." She paused. "You need to get out of this tree and walk around, it'll be good for you, trust me."
She slowly reached her down to his. He simply held her hand for a moment. Giving it a squeeze, he gave her arm a tender pull, hinting at her to get up. "C'mon, just a gentle leap, I won't hurt you I promise."
She knew he was right; it didn't do any good to hide up here. Not that she was, she just wanted some privacy, and it had been so nice out. She turned to her legs hung over to one side of the tree, with a intake of breath she slid off the tree. The moment she did this, still holding her hand, Sirius' arm stiffened as he yanked his own hand up taking the impact of her landing, her feet hitting the ground with a soft thump. With a nimble hop down he was by her side.
He let go of her hand despite his second thoughts. He jerked his head to the side, indicating a walk. She walked with him quietly still not ready to talk, but he didn't mind. Charms wasn't the highlight of his day anyways. As they got further away, she turned to him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He said quietly. He fought the urge to ask her why he'd she'd be sorry but figured she'd talk in her own time. And she did.
"I guess you're wondering why I was up there of all places?"
"Well, yes. But I'm not going to ask." He told her honestly. "You can tell me whatever you want, or not tell me anything at all. I just thought you could use some company."
Now a good distance from the school she looked back at it. They were over looking the lake. She hadn't meant to skip class but didn't feel like going after what had happened. It wasn't that far away she told herself. Turning back around to look at him, she sat down on the grass. He took her cue and sat down next to her, but facing towards her while she looked off to the lake.
"I got a letter from home." She said simply. Sirius simply nodded. Looking at him, she bit her lip. "I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about this."
"I want to hear about what's making you upset," he said truthfully. He wanted to hug her and tell her that what ever was bugging her would be okay. But he knew things weren't that easy.
"Thanks," she gave him a small smile. She took a deep breath. "The other day I sent a friend back home a letter. I told her about what it was like up here, all the new things I had done and learned."
"She sent a letter back today. She didn't say anything to what I had told her. She only really had bad news for me." She shook her head. "I guess I should start further back than that." She sighed.
"Before I came here this semester, I broke up with my boyfriend, Cain, in the summer. Well, actually, he dumped me. We had been together for a few years off and on and this was the final off. Things were never right between us. It was a three-month relationship that went on way too long.
"I fell hard for him." Ava said quietly. Sirius swallowed hard at this, but still patiently listened. "Every time we broke up. I thought I was ok to move on. I told him I didn't want to see him again because it would be too painful to know what he was doing and up to. But he would come back and tell me how much he had missed me and how sorry he was. I'd believe him. I didn't know if it was right, but I felt so much for him that I went with my first instinct. I loved him and wanted to be with him so I'd put up with every thing he'd put me through.
"I didn't care that he didn't get me a birthday gift, Christmas gift, whatever. All I wanted was him. For him to love me. Which I guess he did for his own part, I'm not sure. He hurt me though, badly." She paused as her tears came spilling out.
"I'll kill him," Sirius said quietly.
"Mentally," Ava said quickly, she didn't want Sirius to get the wrong idea. "I didn't notice it as much then as I do now. I was never good enough. Never pretty enough. I never did the right things, do or say the right things. It didn't help that he was a muggle. Always wondering why I had to go to boarding school. He never understood."
Sirius heart was bleeding for her. It was so painful to hear, he couldn't imagine himself going through the emotional turmoil. He could feel the way her heart ached. He knew she must have been talking straight from the heart as she repeated herself in various ways.
"Every time I thought I had had enough, he would say something or do something to make me think it was all worth it. I thought that all that pain was worth it for those few times he would love on me, or tell me something nice, or we might get to spend time together.
"I was so stupid." She was angry with herself. "I thought love was something. I was willing to go through hell and then to find out it wasn't really worth it?"
She shook her head again. "I haven't even got to the worst part yet. I thought I was doing ok. I came here and thought I got away. Not that I didn't come for me, it was just a bonus that he was out of my head. The feelings have dulled, all dulled now."
As she said the words Sirius felt like she had hit the target with her words. She looked dull. Her eyes had a deaden look to them. Not the usual gleam he loved and was used to seeing.
"I am over him, for the most part. But leading to this blasted letter." She held it in her hand. She was pulling herself out of her frailty. Her words were stronger now that she had bared her soul and got her pain off her chest. "It hit me hard and unaware."
"He's married." She said shortly, her eyes unfocused. Sirius let this sink in. He hadn't thought that this is what she had been leading up to. He was worried that she had found out that this guy had cheated on her at some point before, or wanted her back, something else. Well, when he first found her he thought it was bad news from home. She said she would tell him about her family sometime. Guess this wasn't it.
But married? He couldn't imagine being married. She must have seen the look on his face, because she seemed to answer his question. "He was a bit older than me. But I didn't think I'd be that easy to get over." Her voice quivered as the tears came streaming down.
Sirius wondered in the back of his head where girls found the liquid for all these tears. But he reached over and held her in his arms. "You're not, believe me." He wanted to tell her, but couldn't find the voice.
She was right that night they had had that big fight. She hadn't needed him hitting on her. She needed a friend. While yes she had plenty more, the point was that she didn't need a date. He grimaced at what he had said to her that night. It felt like he had been hit in the gut when he realized what he had said to her and what it had meant to her.
Ava felt him slightly shudder. She pulled away from him and looked in to his blue eyes. Trying to rub away the tears and the redness in hers. "I am so sorry. I made you miss class, listen to my sob story, and got you soaked." She tried to brush off her moments of weakness. She dusted off his robe. But Sirius stopped her.
"Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for anything you do. You didn't make me do anything." He smiled at her. "And you are worth it."
"Worth what?" she looked at him confused. She hadn't said the word worth.
"Worth anything." Sirius brushed her hair back from her face, smoothing it behind her. "Just because some guy screwed up doesn't mean it is your fault. He didn't know what he had."
She looked away self-consciously. She wasn't used to hearing these things. Cain had never ever complimented her. And if he had, they had been backhand or far and so few between. And here Sirius was dealing them out like they were chocolate frogs.
"You are going to go on and doing amazing things," he turned her head back around to look at him.
"Thank you for being so sweet." She smiled gently, "But you don't have to do that. I'm not looking for compliments."
"And I'm not looking to get anywhere by giving them." Sirius told her the truth. "Besides, what makes you think they're not true?" He hopped up and pulled her up next to him. He wanted to make her feel better. The only way he knew how to do that was to have a good time. "Recall dancing with me the other night? That wasn't so bad."
He pulled her close and hummed some random song in for her as he led her in small dance. Hearing her laugh made him feel much better. Now he knew she did too. He sung in her ear. "Let me serenade you."
After a few minutes he could hear the bells ringing softly in the background signify lunch. He took her hand and jerked his head back towards the school. "C'mon, lunch. Now that we have our Ava back."
She laughed and followed him back towards the yard. Sirius, although it was difficult, controlled his anger at this guy. How could someone so sweet not believe herself to be? It was that bastard's fault. She had apologized for everything not thinking she was any good. For someone so independent, it was obvious that she had been very hurt and burned by this guy. Part of Sirius wanted to meet this guy; the other part of him didn't, for Cain's health and Ava's. Before they walked into the dining hall she stopped him, he turned to look back at her. She gave him a hug. "Thanks."
"I didn't do anything. Listening is easy and free."
"Thanks for being a friend." She walked into the hall leaving him out in the hallway. He followed her in, smiling and shaking his head.
"Siri-us Bl-ack!" He heard Celeste coming up from behind him. "I go through all the trouble to save you a seat, which mind you, other guys would have plenty happy to have. And you don't show up?" she had her hands on her hips.
"Something came up," he shrugged. Ava had stopped and was looking behind her at Celeste's outburst. Sirius slipped an arm around Celeste walking her past Ava, who Celeste didn't notice at all. "Let me make my apologies over lunch." He shot a look back at Ava asking if she was ok for him to leave. She nodded with a smile at him.
Ava sighed as she felt a big burden lifted off her. She felt like this had been pressing on her. Since reading the letter this morning, she had felt awful. Sirius had gone out of his way to make her feel better. She was grateful for his generosity. He was turning into quite more of a friend that she herself had ever expected. She thought back to her words that night some time ago. He must have taken them to heart. He had apologized for the way he had acted that night, on the way back to the castle. He was turning out to be a good friend after all.