Chapter 6
The inn door had been broken down, and the innkeeper was unconscious on the floor at the foot of the stairwell. Goku and Hakkai took the stairs two at a time and burst into their rooms one after the other to the sound of a second gunshot. Sanzo was kneeling on one knee beside his bed, one arm clutched around his ribs, the other extended with the pistol, his aim steady. The shot felled a fierce youkai looming over Gojyo's stricken form before another huge creature made a leaping grab for Sanzo's throat.
Goku was on the youkai's back, throttling him with Nyoibou, before his claws reached their target. Sanzo twisted to fire another shot at a smaller youkai rifling through his robes in search of the sutra.
"Gojyo!" Hakkai shouted. He got no response.
Two more youkai shifted their weapons as they transferred their attack from the unresponsive man at their feet to the one who called him. Before they could cross the few feet to Hakkai, they were each met by a blast of ki from his hands, the chest of one shattered by the energy. The other was diverted but not killed, the confines of the small room having limited Hakkai's ability to charge the blasts fast enough to fully control their release.
With Sanzo's attacker down, Goku turned his staff on the one disoriented by Hakkai's ki blast, smashing his skull. "Hakkai, the window!" he yelled, directing the other man's attention to another youkai swinging through the window to the gardens below. A flash of ki blazed through the garden, dropping the youkai with a scream before he reached the perimeter of the forest.
Before the retreating assassin fell to the ground, Hakkai turned back to the fallen man in the room. "Gojyo—"
"Sanzo—" Goku simultaneously dropped to his knees beside the monk.
Sanzo waved the younger man away. "I'm okay. See to Gojyo. Three of them were on him by the time we knew they were in the room."
Goku helped Sanzo back to the bed, then knelt opposite Hakkai. Gojyo was sprawled on his back between them, his arm twisted awkwardly at the elbow, a small pool of blood barely visible as it puddled under his red hair. Hakkai was checking for further injuries before attempting to move him. He took a brief count of his pulse—too fast; pried his eyelids up and checked his pupils—dilated and glassy. "Gojyo." He brushed the hair off his friend's forehead, hoping his voice and touch would recall him to consciousness, hesitant to move him before he could ascertain the extent of the concussion. "Sanzo, do you know whether they struck him or if he hit his head when he fell?"
"Not sure. It happened too fast. One of them had a club, but Gojyo was fast enough to block at least one blow. He knifed the first one that came at him, but three more jumped him when he tried to intercept the ones coming for me—stupid kappa." A shadow crossed his face. "I was slow getting my gun… he was down before I shot the second time."
"Goku, please bring me cool water and a cloth." By the time Goku returned with the requested bowl of water, Gojyo was stirring. When Hakkai bathed his face and forehead, he came to suddenly, disoriented; he bolted upright, arms flailing at his caretaker, only to drop back with a grunt of pain, semi-comatose again, when he jostled the broken arm.
The knowledge that Gojyo's neck and spine were apparently unhurt reduced Hakkai's anxiety about moving him. He slipped an arm under his shoulders and raised him slightly, using his other hand to explore the back of his head where the rivulet of blood had matted the red hair. "This is the worst of it," he said. "His scalp is cut and he's getting a pretty bad lump, but the bone seems to be intact."
"Gojyo… " He brushed a hand across the half-youkai's forehead again, this time holding his shoulders tightly enough to prevent him from bolting. Gojyo's eyes fluttered open, pupils still wide; he winced again, tried to speak, but managed only an incomprehensible mumble. "Stay still," Hakkai ordered him firmly. "Goku, I don't think I can manage his weight with my shoulder still sore."
Goku helped Hakkai lift Gojyo to the other bed and turn him onto his side so the healer could get a better look at his head. Hakkai cleaned the blood from his hair, then placed one palm over the torn flesh, the glow of ki warming Gojyo's scalp as the slender fingers of his other hand massaged and mended the wound. He made Gojyo as comfortable as he could, then turned his attention to the broken arm.
"Gojyo." This time the other's eyes opened more quickly, although he still had trouble focusing.
"Hakkai?"
"Yes. Can you hear me?"
He nodded vaguely, but closed his eyes again, dizzy.
"I'm going to set your arm. It's going to hurt."
"Hurts like hell already," he responded, his words slurred.
"Goku, I'll need a splint and bandages to keep his arm stable after I set the bone." The break was clean enough that Hakkai was able to reset the bone without difficulty. Gojyo bit back a cry of pain, but drew his breath sharply, his head reeling. The nausea he had been fighting since Hakkai and Goku moved him from the floor overcame him, and he vomited over the side of the bed, then fell back, exhausted. He was barely aware of Hakkai bandaging his arm while Goku cleaned up, dragged the bodies of the youkai attackers into a pile by the door, then retreated to the other side of the room to check on his own patient.
"I'm fine," the monk insisted, refusing to cooperate when Goku attempted to check his bandages and insure that he hadn't re-injured his lung or back.
"Damn it, Sanzo, you were fighting off an attack when you should have been resting. There's new blood on your bandages. And you're nearly as pale and clammy as you were two days ago."
"Of course I'm sweating, bakazaru. We did have to exert ourselves a little. But I don't need you pawing me to make matters worse."
"Even a bakazaru like me can tell you're hurting. Stop being an ungrateful bastard and let me change your bandages and check the damage. Hakkai may be able to help."
The monk glanced darkly in Gojyo's direction, more worried than he was willing to admit and angry at himself for not responding faster to the attack. "Hakkai's busy enough."
"Right. All the more reason for you to let me treat you."
The monk scowled, but sat up, stony-faced, on the edge of the bed, so Goku could unwrap the soiled bandages. He winced and sucked in his breath when the younger man touched his injured side, pulled his fan seemingly out of thin air, and cracked it across Goku's head and shoulder. "Damn it, bakazaru, if you can't be more careful keep your fucking hands off—"
His anxiety high, Goku's temper flared. Expecting him to cringe and back off as always, Sanzo was stunned when Goku instead yanked the harisen out of his hand before he could get the rest of his sentence out. Pulling himself to his full height, the youth loomed over Sanzo and flung the offending implement across the room. "I told you to stop hitting me with your goddamn fan, Sanzo! I am not a bakazaru, and I'm only trying to help. I'm tired of you hitting me every time you don't like how something's going! And I'm not a dumb little kid anymore that you can beat into doing whatever you want!… Don't… do it… again! Or I swear I'll hit you back!"
Sanzo froze for a moment, staring at the younger man, too surprised to respond.
Goku stared back, his jaw set, face flushed with anger, muscles and fists clenched in a fighting stance.
Across the small room, Hakkai was equally immobile, his attention drawn from Gojyo, his mouth agape and an eyebrow raised in both consternation and astonishment.
"Baka," the monk finally growled. But he averted his eyes, took up the loose end of the bandage, and started to finish the unwinding that Goku had begun.
The confrontation past, Goku relaxed, momentarily flustered, surprised himself at the intensity of his reaction. Then he determinedly stepped close to Sanzo again, took the bandage from him as it unwrapped to a point beyond which the monk could twist to reach, and continued the task. Sanzo submitted to the examination and re-bandaging in utter silence.
* * *
Sleep eluded all four men that night. Goku and Hakkai took turns guarding Gojyo, waking him regularly through the night to ensure he did not slip back into unconsciousness and to check his lucidity and ability to speak and move.
While awaiting his turn to watch, Goku lay in bed listening to the rain that had begun shortly after he and a few townspeople had carried the youkai bodies away and he, Hakkai, and Sanzo had finally eaten some dinner. In the damp, heavy atmosphere, he was unable to suppress his thoughts of Sanzo and his doubts and questions about their feelings for each other. Why had he turned on Sanzo tonight? Why did it matter so much whether Sanzo hit him with the stupid fan?… It hadn't mattered before this week. What had stopped Sanzo from arguing with him tonight? Was he still angry, or was something else provoking his silence?
He listened to the monk's breathing in the adjacent room, not quite slow and even enough to be that of sleep, but regular enough to tell that his lung was mending and to suggest that Sanzo wanted them to think him asleep. But he knew the rain would keep Sanzo awake and restless. He tuned into Hakkai's and Gojyo's subdued voices, heard the stress in Hakkai's and knew that he was worried not only for Gojyo, but also about another attack.
When Hakkai failed to come for him at the agreed-upon time, he rose and padded into the other room. Gojyo was dozing, brow slightly furrowed. Hakkai's dark silhouette blocked what little light came in the window, his hands clenched on the sill.
"Hakkai, your turn to get some rest."
"Yes," said Hakkai absently. But when he finally left the window, he stopped beside Gojyo, touching his shoulder and calling him softly.
Gojyo awakened slowly and took a minute to focus on Hakkai's face, bent over his.
"Are you with us, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked.
"Mmm," he answered.
"How's the arm?"
It took Gojyo a moment to find words. "Okay. Head hurts more." His speech was still slurred and slow in coming.
"I think it would be safe to give you something for that now. Goku, will you bring fresh water?"
While Goku filled the water glass, Hakkai got two of the pain pills the doctor had given Sanzo and helped Gojyo sit up to take them. "Can you remember now what happened?"
Gojyo closed his eyes, trying to recall the attack. He shook his head slightly. "Remember you and Goku going out, and Sanzo complaining that you were being noisy coming in. Remember grabbing the knife. The rest is fuzzy… I think I heard Sanzo's gun going off." His brow furrowed. "The rest is blank."
"It's okay. You took a pretty hard hit. It's surprising you haven't lost more than that. Do you think you can manage a short walk?"
Gojyo still dizzied easily when he tried to stand, choked back nausea as his head reeled with the change in position.
"Never mind," said Hakkai. "Maybe tomorrow… Goku, please be sure to wake him once every hour or so and keep him talking for a few minutes. Give him two more pills in a few hours if he needs them. If you can, try to get him walking around a little in the morning."
Hakkai bade the two good night and half closed the door between the two rooms. But he was too restless to sleep. He readied himself for bed, but instead sat beside the window watching the rain form rivulets across the glass. His thoughts returned to his conversation with Goku about his feelings for Gojyo and to the confusion about his feelings that had marked his behavior with the half-youkai all day. His stomach knotted each time his mind came back to the image of Gojyo lying on the floor unconscious, the youkai looming over him, blade ready to strike.
Over and over again, his thoughts returned to the many incidents between himself and Gojyo that confirmed Goku's perception of their relationship, chief among them the steadily reduced amount of time Gojyo had spent in the brothels in the last year or two. Hakkai tried to recall how long it had been before their trip since his roommate had brought a girl home to their place from a bar. Even more obvious was Gojyo's sensitivity to his moods and energy level… Did he ever fail to notice a change in his mood, as he had today? Was he ever not beside him when he had exhausted his ki in a bad fight followed by a healing? Hakkai heard again the concern in Gojyo's voice—even while swearing at him—after he had healed Sanzo the other night. He felt again the strength and warmth of Gojyo's hand on his as he leaned over him in the jeep to take over driving after the incident in the dessert with Kougaiji.
But didn't he look out for Sanzo and Goku that way, too? Wasn't that just Gojyo's way with his friends? Hakkai tried to tell himself it was, but he could no longer ignore the smaller clues to the contrary—Gojyo's lingering touch when he had helped clean up the broken mug last night, his held breath when their shoulders touched at the stove this morning, the brief but charged touch of his hand on his back as they parted.
Hakkai warmed to the recollection of Gojyo's ready smile whenever he teased Goku or won at cards; warmed uncomfortably when he recalled not only his teasing smile, but his musky scent and the sleek muscles of his arms and shoulders, skin glistening with sweat, as he dug graves in the last village. Hakkai closed his eyes and wrung the image from his mind, willing away his attraction to the other man. His mind's eye filled instead with the image of the dark red eyes behind the fall of wine-red hair… and the stench of all the blood he had shed washed over him as a wave of guilt rolled over him.
The picture of Gojyo lying on the floor tonight, his arm twisted and hair matted with blood came back to him again with more force, and his chest constricted. He swallowed again the feeling of fear and loss that had choked him when he opened the door to that scene. That image blurred into his memory of Kanan lying on the floor of the cell in the youkai castle, and a wrenching emptiness threatened to smother him. He clenched his fists. I cannot, will not, let myself feel that way again.
From his bed in the smaller room, Sanzo could just make out Hakkai's dark silhouette through the half-open door. He saw him clench his fists and stiffen, and he knew from their many conversations on rainy nights where Hakkai's memories had taken him. His eyes roamed to Gojyo, and he felt a sympathy for him that he would never admit aloud, knowing how the half-youkai felt about Hakkai and understanding Hakkai's inability to return the feeling.
Master Koumyou's words came back to him as they had so many times in the last ten years: Have nothing. Live without being imprisoned or tied to anything. He felt, momentarily, the stubborn pride that he had been successful in achieving that, where his companions had not.
But when his surreptitious gaze wandered further, to Goku, he felt a sense of possessiveness and the pull of a seldom-acknowledged tie as surely as if an unbreakable thread bound him to the boy. He heard in his memory Kami-sama's plea: I don't understand… you have so many things. That's so unfair. Will you give them to me? His answer had surprised even himself. No… I intend to have my own interpretation rather than being bound by the words, 'Have nothing.'
He studied Goku, sitting in the corner with a low light on, pouring again over one of Hakkai's books, and he suddenly realized how much older the boy looked. He tried to recall the younger, more innocent face of the monkey child he'd brought down from the mountain prison, but saw instead the harder lines and darker shadows of concentration and worry. Saw instead the same determination the boy had shown in forcing them all to play Mahjong until they realized that the strategy they needed to beat Kami-sama was in their unfailing confidence that they could not lose if they trusted each other and worked as a team.
Goku's angry words earlier this evening rang in his ears: I am not a bakazaru… I'm tired of you hitting me every time you don't like how something's going! And I'm not a dumb little kid anymore!
"Bullshit," he thought. But in the dark of the night, he nearly smiled at Goku throwing the harisen, and he felt a sort of pride in the youth for standing up to him. He recalled how many times he had woken to Goku's touch and voice drawing him out of his nightmares yesterday, and even as he thought, "Baka," the epithet faded in the face of the affection he had felt when he woke to the young man slumped over his bed, asleep after his loyal vigil.
With the renewed sense of affection came another feeling Sanzo couldn't identify, but it made him uncomfortable and out of sorts with himself. He turned away and rolled onto his side to face the wall as though to hide his thoughts as he tried to hide his wakefulness.
* * *
Hakkai awakened stiff and groggy in the chair by the window, where he had fallen into a restless doze near dawn. Goku's and Gojyo's voices drifted in to him, followed by Sanzo's surly swearing.
"Shut up, you fucking idiots, and let a sick man sleep!"
Goku ignored him and encouraged Gojyo to keep talking, subconsciously registering the thought that Sanzo sounded more himself so must be feeling better.
"I think I need that walk Hakkai wanted me to take," said Gojyo, planting his feet on the floor. His words were less slurred, Hakkai noted.
Gojyo paused before walking, waited for the continued dizziness to pass, resisted reaching for Goku's nearby shoulder to steady himself. His head was still throbbing. He took a step or two in the wrong direction before he remembered where the bathroom was.
Goku frowned at the mis-step, put his hand on Gojyo's back to steady him, and offered his shoulder for support. The older man pushed him away. "I'm not an invalid, monkey boy. Get yourself another fucking patient." He made it to the bathroom under his own power, but sagged in the doorway when he came back out.
"Stubborn cockroach," said Goku as he slipped under Gojyo's arm and steered him back to bed.
"Asshole. I thought you weren't planning to touch me 'til I begged for it."
"Beats picking your dumb ass up off the floor." Goku deposited him on the bed rather more roughly than he intended.
"Damn!" complained Gojyo. "Your bedside manner needs work, stupid ape."
"Shut up, noisy idiots," Sanzo demanded. He rose from his own bed and stalked stiffly to the other room in search of Hakkai and some peace.
"Sanzo—"
The monk glared at Goku. "Don't you dare tell me to stay in bed again today, baka."
Goku shut his mouth.
Sanzo dropped into the chair opposite Hakkai and joined him in contemplating the continuing drizzle outside the window. He reached for the pack of cigarettes and lighter on the table.
Without a glance in his direction, Hakkai's hand removed the pack and lighter and slipped them into his shirt pocket before Sanzo had a chance to touch them. "The doctor said no smoking until your lung is completely healed, if you care to live. At least six weeks. Besides, these are Gojyo's."
Sanzo sneered. Eventually he asked whether Hakkai had anything in mind for breakfast.
"Are you in the mood for anything in particular?" Hakkai asked, conciliatory.
"Whatever."
A few minutes later Hakkai turned from the window and fell into the usual morning routine. When he brought a tray in to Goku and Gojyo a short while later, he took a few minutes to ask Gojyo how he was feeling and check his heart rate. He greeted them with his typical, cheerful, "Good morning" and light smile, but his manner was distant, and he returned to eat with Sanzo in the other room as soon as he was certain Gojyo was doing better.
Gojyo's eyes followed him, keenly aware of the failure of his smile to reach his eyes and the dark circles of sleeplessness beneath them.
Goku watched Gojyo as Gojyo watched Hakkai. "He's worried about you," he commented, hoping to mitigate the sting of Hakkai's aloofness.
"Yeah," said Gojyo. But he knew there was more to it than that.
"How bad off is the kappa?" Sanzo asked Hakkai when they had finished eating.
"Bad enough. The break was clean. He heals fast enough that he should be using his arm normally within a couple weeks—a few days, given his obstinacy; but it'll be a few weeks before he regains full strength. It's the concussion that worries me. He must have been hit pretty hard. He has no memory of the fight or anything just after he came to. He's talking more normally this morning, but he's still disoriented. He's trying to make light of it, but I can tell his head is killing him, and he's getting dizzy when he moves too quickly. I think it might be safe to let him get some sleep today. That might help."
"How many days does he need?"
"You're not thinking of getting back on the road anytime soon," Hakkai stated more than asked. "You're not in any shape to travel yourself yet, Sanzo."
Sanzo shrugged. "I don't think it's a good idea to stay in any one place too long at this point, do you?" They exchanged a long, direct look, each reading in the other's expression the recognition of the dangers inherent both in their moving on unprepared and in their staying here, vulnerable.
Hakkai went to his pack to get their map. He laid it out on the table so he and Sanzo could consider the best place to go from here. They agreed that an unexpected change in direction might throw off their pursuers and would bring them within easier reach of a nearby town.
"Tomorrow?" suggested Sanzo.
"Not before the day after," said Hakkai. Sanzo scowled, but didn't argue.
* * *
When Gojyo next awakened, Sanzo was the one to greet him from the chair beside his bed. "About time you wake up, kappa. Our idiot nursemaids are beginning to worry about you again."
Gojyo pushed himself up on his elbows and forearms, wincing as he jarred the broken arm.
"Better watch that." Sanzo reached for an extra pillow and stuffed it behind Gojyo's shoulders so he could take the pressure off his arm.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, the drone of Goku's and Hakkai's voices drifting in to them from the other room. Gojyo strained to hear what they were saying. "Don't tell me they're still at it with the healing lessons," he asked.
Sanzo nodded. "For hours now. Damned if I know how Hakkai has the patience to put up with it."
"Not exactly your strong point, monk. What I find more amazing is the monkey's attention span for it."
Sanzo shrugged, wondering about that himself. A few minutes later he asked Gojyo if he was hungry, gesturing to a tray on the table near the bed. "Lunch, if you want some."
"Is it that late?"
"Two," said Sanzo.
Goku appeared in the doorway. "You're up… How's the head?"
"Better," said Gojyo, not elaborating.
"Still dizzy?"
"Less so."
"Hungry?"
"Thirsty."
Sanzo pushed his chair back as Goku bustled into the room, plumped the pillows, and helped Gojyo get comfortably seated, then handed him a glass of water from the tray, along with two more pain pills. After he had taken a drink, Goku placed a plate with a sandwich in his lap.
By then Hakkai was leaning on the doorframe watching the three. "Go easy, Gojyo." He walked to the window, scanned the garden and forest edge for signs of trouble.
"Any more problems?" asked Gojyo.
"No," said the others together.
"But I don't intend to wait around for more to find us," said Sanzo. "We're out of here as soon as you're up to going."
Hakkai glared at the monk. "The day after tomorrow is the soonest I'm letting either one of you get into the jeep." He reached up to pet the white dragon on his shoulder. Hakuryuu had made himself scarce the last few days, but had stayed nearby since the evening's attack and seemed as restless as Sanzo to move on."
"I think I'll be up to going tomorrow," Gojyo remarked.
Hakkai's glare turned on him. "Yes. And if another forty youkai descend on us, I'm sure the two of you will be thoroughly up to the task of taking them on… about like you did last night."
Gojyo looked away, slightly sheepish.
"Is anyone else hungry for a snack?" Goku asked, attempting to fill the awkward silence that ensued. He looked from one to the other, a shake of one head his only response. "How about a game of Mahjong? Are you up to it, Gojyo?"
"I prefer not," said Hakkai. "I have some reading I'd like to finish." He used his book as his excuse to leave them and return to the other room.
"How about cards?" Sanzo asked Gojyo.
"How about a smoke?" Gojyo asked, pushing the unfinished sandwich away.
"No way!" exclaimed Goku, taking the plate.
"Asshole," said Gojyo. He settled for a game of cards with the monk, but tired enough to sleep again before they had finished two hands.
During their evening meal Sanzo and Hakkai reviewed with Gojyo and Goku their plans to alter their route and head for a nearer town, skirting the deep forest and lower population area they had to traverse until they had a chance to regain their strength. "Wouldn't it be better to just stick it out here until we can handle the more direct route?" asked Gojyo.
"Possibly," said Sanzo. "But three other people here were hurt last night. They may have written this off as the kind of random youkai attack they've been getting since the Minus Wave, but these were clearly more assassins after us. I'll be happier if we can keep moving frequently enough and unexpectedly enough not to invite them back here or follow us into other towns. People in these parts are dealing with enough shit already."
"If we zigzag rather than continuing due west, our movements may be a little less predictable," added Hakkai. But they all knew their ultimate path was becoming more dangerous, and their limits were being tested.
Hakkai and Goku took turns keeping watch again that night, less concerned for Sanzo and Gojyo now that they were both out of immediate danger, but unwilling to take a chance at being caught off guard again. Even when they took their turns to rest, neither did more than doze.
Near dawn the next morning, Sanzo nudged Goku out of an exhausted stupor, his head drooping on the window sill in the larger room. The moment Sanzo touched him he startled into attention. Sanzo motioned him to silence. "Go to bed and get some sleep, idiot. You're good for nothing in this state. Hakkai finally seems to have fallen asleep, and I'm better rested by now than either of you. I'll watch." He sat in the opposite chair and placed his loaded pistol in easy reach on the table beside him.
Goku nodded, too tired to argue, and dragged himself to the bed Sanzo had vacated so Gojyo wouldn't be left alone in the smaller room. Finally assured that Sanzo could manage, he fell almost immediately into the deepest sleep he'd had in what seemed like weeks.
***TBC***
Well, I don't know if I've suddenly picked up a few new readers, or if some of you have been here right along and just decided to make yourselves known, but… Welcome, DivineAngel, Altealice, kitiara_uth_matar, and Nightfall Rising. (Love your 58 stories, Nightfall; I hope you'll continue to enjoy what I'm doing with this pair—and the other pair. ^_~ On nitpicking: 'Tis okay; means you're invested enough in reading this to consider the details worth a second thought. I don't expect everyone to agree with my interpretations, and my beta readers' nitpicking definitely made me rethink a thing or two).
I'm glad most of you are enjoying the detail and slow progress. Crimson and Blades of Ice, please don't go insane; there's enough insanity in the world already without you holding me responsible for more.
Kitiara, you asked what's going on with Hakkai and Gojyo. If you don't already know this, the numbers (58 and 93) that I and other Saiyuki writers refer to in story summaries stand for romantic pairings, in this case Gojyo(5) with Hakkai(8) and Goku(9) with Sanzo(3). Those designations were included in my summary to alert readers that they will find those couplings in this story… in fact, that's what this story is all about. If you don't like to see the guys paired off romantically—or you find such pairings offensive—consider those designations a warning. If you already knew this and are just wondering where I'm going with these two, stay tuned; there's more to come. I hope by the time you get to the end, I'll have convinced you that it just couldn't be any other way. ^_^
FINALLY: For those of you who were following X-parrot's positively wonderful "Remembering to Breathe" Saiyuki fic until she stopped updating to write GetBackers and FMA, she has—AT LONG LAST!—posted chapter 15. Yea, X-parrot!! Please stick with it now. Hopefully we'll find out soon how this excellent plot-twister ends!