Thanks you lot:
Beloved: Ah, I remember that episode. *Cough* Not a very good one *cough*. No, the story title just sprung into my mind and I thought it would fit quite well. I never remember episode titles from TV-shows. Don't know why...
Bouh: Patience Bouh, patience!
Daellyra: *blushes* Thank you!
strawberry poo kmoo: You don't have to beg. Here it is! *stuffs lollypop into candy deprived strawberry poo kmoo's mouth*.
Fantasy101: I'd like you to present: CHAPTER 4!!
ty the wonder fly in the sky who does not lie, except for pie: Justice League? Really? I seem to have made subconscious references to a number of things here.
Benjis VIP: If soon is the next day, then I believe I just respected your wish.
Plaintosee: Most people write a chapter, post it and then start writing another while at the time they get reviews. I write the whole thing before I post it (I'm a messy writer and change previous chapters constantly). It would be kind of stupid to post all 9 chapters at the same time, wouldn't it? Why I write? Because it's fun and I like reviews because it could help me in improving it. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here who thinks that way. And the Snape thing: I see your point, but I don't feel like I should change it. I could have let Harry fall of his broom and hit his head, but that just sounded way more stupid. As previously stated, there was nothing lethal in that potion. In my opinion Snape knew that Harry would get his memory back in due time, but 'neglected' to say it. I'm sorry to hear you don't like my story, but well, I guess you can't please everyone.
A/N: this chapter doesn't contribute much to the story over all, but I thought it would be amusing. Tormenting Draco is always a laugh.
Chapter 4
As Draco departed from the Slytherin-dungeon on Sunday morning he found a visitor waiting for him on his doorstep (sort of speak, it's a portrait hole not a door). Harry was heartily talking to one of the portraits gracing the hallway. It was quite an unusual sight really. People were rarely seen having serious communications with a portrait, but Harry didn't seem to know (or care). When he noticed Draco Harry said his goodbyes to the portrait and walked towards him.
"How did you know where to find me?" Draco asked slightly surprised. He was made Head Boy this year, so he had his own quarters away from the dungeon.
Harry shrugged innocently.
"You weren't at the Head Boy's dorm, so I figured you'd be here" he replied.
"And how did you know where the Slytherin-dungeon was?" Draco asked.
"I have my ways" Harry answered with a tint of pride in his voice.
"I'm sure you do" Draco answered, not bothering to go into the matter any further as he was distracted by something else. "Why, o why are you barefooted? You forgot how to tie your laces so you didn't wear any shoes all together?"
"Partially" Harry admitted. "I find shoes to be quite confining"
"Well, I find clothes quite confining" Draco said sarcastically. "But you don't see me walking around butt-naked, do you?"
"I wouldn't mind if you did though" Harry said.
"Off course you wouldn't! I look great without any clothes on" Draco replied. He was getting quite used to Harry's somewhat unconventional remarks, so he just started to brush them off with an occasional witty retort.
"So what are you doing here this early?" Draco asked smugly as they both made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. "Did Weasley and Granger throw you out of the dorm so they could have a quick shag before breakfast?"
"What? No no, I just... 'shag'?"
"Just an thought" Draco shrugged.
Harry pondered for a moment.
"What's a shag?"
Draco stopped walking and looked his 'pupil' in the eye.
"NO!"
"No?"
"No Potter, I said: NO! I'm not giving you sex-ed. No. Nada. Njet. NO!"
"But why...?"
"For Merlin's sake!" Draco snarled with a tint of desperation in his voice. "Go to Weasley for something like this. Or Granger even, she could probably explain all the correct medical terms".
"But you were the one who was supposed to answer all my questions!" Harry pointed out.
"Well yeah, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting this one!"
Harry frowned.
"Is it that difficult too explain?"
"No, it's not that..."
"You don't really know how it works either?" he asked innocently.
"Yes I do!" Draco yelled as if he'd just been accused of dying his hair.
"Then why....?"
"Aaaaaaaarg!!!"
Draco buried his head in his hands and deliberated the situation. He couldn't believe he was thinking about giving Potter sex-ed. But this boy was like a bulldog: if he sank his teeth into something, he would not let go. And in Potter's case this was very true about asking questions. After making a decision Draco grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him into one of the deserted rooms of the dungeon. The room didn't seem like it had been used in the last few years. It looked quite similar too the potions-classroom, excluding the potions and desks.
"People shag for the purpose to reproduce" Draco explained trying to keep his voice as aloof as possible. "If people stopped shagging, the human race would be extinct".
"So this 'shagging' is for having babies?" Harry asked.
"Errr...yeah" Draco said, weighing out his answer. "So, when a man and a woman want to have a baby they... they have to sleep together"
"Sleep?"
"No not 'sleep' as in 'sleeping'. Sleeping as in sex".
"Sex?"
"Yes"
"So 'sex' is the same a 'shagging'?" Harry enquired.
"Yes"
"And that's how you make babies?"
Draco gave a quick nod, hoping that this explanation would suffice and they could head towards breakfast.
"What's sex?" Harry asked after a brief moment of silence.
Draco sighed.
"When two people express their love for each other in the physical way". Draco felt the urge to punch himself in the gut for being such a ponse. He felt like such a dork for actually having to use phrasing like this, but it seemed to be effective in 'dodging the bullet'. He would be very happy if he could walk away from this without having to call the things by their names.
"Could you be any more vague?" Harry asked with an ironical amusement.
"Yes I can" Draco answered, pleading to the gods that Harry would stop asking questions. This was just so awkward.
Harry gave him a look which clearly stated that he wanted a further explanation.
"When a man and a woman want to have sex they, er, link their... er... gender-parts together, like a puzzle, and then they..." he said while he started making unclear hand gestures, which didn't really make much sense. "sort of, er, 'pounce' on each other".
"Pounce?" Harry asked incredulous. "So they express their love by... pouncing on each other?"
"Er, yes. But there doesn't need to be any love involved".
"Ah. So you can have sex and make a baby without love".
"Yes. But you don't need to want a baby to have sex".
Harry looked totally confused.
"So if two people in love want to have a baby they need to have sex", Harry said, going over the information, "but you can have sex not for the purpose to have a baby or for expressing your love. But you also can have a baby without being in love, or have no baby while being in love and having sex?".
"Yes" Draco said, not totally registering what Harry had said just then, but figuring it was probably correct.
"Then why would people want to have sex without it's purpose being to express their love or having a baby?".
"Because it feels good and they want to get off".
"Ah" Harry said, looking like he understood. "So... you recon Ron and Hermione want to have a baby?"
"Merlin, I hope not" Draco said while rolling his eyes. "Those two should not be allowed to reproduce!"
"So you don't think they want to have a baby?"
"Nah. They're probably just in love... and horny"
"And so they pounce on each other?" Harry asked, still quite incredulous about the pouncing-thing.
"Er, yes". That was a really bad choice of words, he reckoned.
"So people have sex to express their love and/or have a baby and/or to get off"
"Correct" Draco said as he made his way out the class-room reckoning the 'talk' was finally over. As he stood in the doorframe he turned around.
"Off course, two people aren't really necessary to get off" he added as he left into the hallway. "You can get off by yourself just fine"
Harry was confused again.
TBC