"Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot"
By: Victoria May
The snow has grown thick-fluffy by the time I pull my luggage out of the trunk. It reminds me of childhood games of king of the mountain and skating on old man Walter's pond. Of course, if we'd known then that the 'pond' was really sewage overflow, well, we wouldn't have been skating, that's for sure. Old Walter is probably still rolling over in his grave laughing his ass off.
But the snow is cool on my hot face and it's a relief to finally be here. Flying across the continent is not my idea of fun and games. But it's been far too long since I've seen my girl and she needs me right now.
I don't know about Blair though. He's a tough one to read. Not that I'm surprised by that-not after the way we were introduced. I'm surprised he can even stand to talk to me let alone invite me into his home to stay for a month. A month-what the hell was I thinking?
I know, he's family now. He hasn't made the marriage an issue. He hasn't tried to blame me for keeping the truth from him. He's been friendly and polite and has even gone out of his way to learn about my family and my life. He's pretty tightlipped about himself though. Naomi had warned me of that. Said not to push him-to just let him be. That it was just the way Blair is.
Uh huh. Right. But to go there only leads me down roads I don't want to travel. Places where Naomi isn't as perfect as I want to believe. I've waited a long time for her and frankly, I'm a simpering coward. Afraid to push the envelop or confront her about the life she's led, the life she's shared with her son. A life she's so graciously let me be a part of.
I'm not a stupid man. I know Naomi. I know enough to realize that our marriage means something. That out of every man Naomi has ever been with or loved, that I am the one she chose forever with.
I love Naomi. She's everything I have ever wanted. She beautiful. She's so confident and independent. I've been with plenty of women who've clung to my side and seemed to thrive off the attention of being with a 'doctor'. Big deal. I don't want a groupie. I want excitement, the thrill of the chase, intelligent conversations, passion . . . I swear Naomi must have taken a class on the Kama Sutra. And she sure was right about yoga.
I know, sex isn't everything. And it's not. Naomi, well, she just makes me feel so much . . . more. It's a feeling that I can't really put into words.
"Yo! Jared! You planning on coming inside anytime soon?"
I jump, just a bit, and am surprised to see Blair standing on the front stoop watching me.
"Now just how long have you been standing there?" I ask, gathering up my bags.
"Long enough," he answers, holding the door open. "Hope that didn't hurt," he says as he follows me into the foyer.
"What?" I search for a place to set my bags and he just gestures to the corner behind the door.
"Just set 'em down and let them dry out for now. And what, what?"
I watch him grasp the handrail and slowly step up on the first step.
"The first step's always a doozy," he says, reading my mind.
"Be careful Blair! Hold onto the rail!" Naomi's melodic voice floats down the stairs.
Blair just slowly turns his head-it's almost freakish watching him do that while his back is ramrod straight and still facing forward-and rolls his eyes.
"I am so glad you're here man. Do you think you can get her out of my hair, like maybe, tonight? Take her somewhere, anywhere. Take her shopping or see a movie-oh, I know! There's a new Tai place downtown, she'll love that."
"I can hear you, you know."
And there's the love of my life.
"Naomi," I say, smiling widely. "You look . . .." My grin falters as I notice the white powder liberally decorating her sweater and the smudge of something across her brow. "Um, you look . . .." I turn to my new stepson. "Help me out here Blair."
"Betty Crockery," he answers, without missing a beat. "She's baking."
I shudder and paste on a smile. "Baking? Well, that's, um, great." I've tasted Naomi's attempts at baking. Betty Crocker she is not.
Blair's finally made it to the top of the stairs and he's panting slightly. I catch up and step in close, just in case. "You okay?" I ask.
"Fine, fine. Just a little tuckered," he says. "Go say hi to your wife," he says, shooing me away. He rolls his eyes again as I follow him over to a chair and take his arm to help him sit.
"Okay, not an invalid!" he gripes.
"Didn't say you were," I reply, moving over to my gorgeous wife. "Hello beautiful," I greet before tasting her lips again. I almost melt, she tastes so good. It has been far, far too long. Dr. Eaton and I will be having a few words when I get back to Jersey. Since when do I rank so low I can't take emergency family leave when I need it? I know I could have just taken it, left anyway and had the law to back me, but I need Eaton's support if I want the research grant I applied for. The old crotchety bastard. God, I hope he retires soon.
"How was your flight?" she asks, pulling back slightly.
"I'm just glad it's over," I answer before taking her lips again. "Mmn," I groan. "I missed you so much."
Her head tucks perfectly into the curve of my neck and I smell her organic shampoo. "Me too," she answers quietly. I rub her back, reveling in her warmth. As I pull away, she makes a tiny squeal.
"Oh, your shirt! I hope it's not ruined."
I glance down and frown at the frosty covering of flour across my chest. "Huh. Well, since I'm already covered in flour, I guess I'll just have to help you in the kitchen." And maybe salvage whatever it is your baking, I add silently to myself.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Naomi says.
"But I want to," I insist.
"You think I'm going to burn the cake," she accuses, tilting her head at me. I blush and she laughs. "I promise, it'll be edible."
"Never doubted you," I bluff. I turn to wink at Blair and find him staring at us, his eyes slightly out of focus. He must finally realize I'm watching him because his eyes dart quickly away.
Naomi starts to move away so I wrap my arm around her waist and walk with her into the kitchen. Sure enough, the room is a mess. Ignoring the pile of flour on the counter, I push her back against the dusty surface and press myself against her. I need to touch her-to feel her velvety skin. To taste her-I nibble at her earlobe. "Missed you," I say again. She groans and grabs a handful of hair, pulling my lips to hers.
"I need you," she says, gasping for air, her slender body arching forward.
"Blair," I start to protest.
"He's fine. He understands. You're my husband and I haven't seen you in weeks." And that's all it takes. I notice as we pass through the living room that Blair has left. The door to his bedroom is shut. It's the last thought I have before I get to know my wife again.
We love, and we tease, and we talk and finally, we just lay there holding one another.
"You did turn the oven off?" I ask eventually, stupidly.
Naomi giggles and rolls over, slipping her arm over my waist. "Of course."
We lapse back into a comfortable silence and it's Naomi who breaks it this time. "You can stay, can't you?" asks, quietly.
"Yes," I whisper. "The entire month. I told you that."
"I know," she says. "I just had to be sure. After the . . . accident, and you had to leave. I just had to be sure," she says, and I feel like an ass. Of course she's not sure. I didn't-couldn't stay when Blair was in the hospital. I'd promised her that I'd be here, but Eaton . . .. No, it's no one's fault but my own and I know it. I'd felt like I'd been given a second chance when Naomi asked me to come as soon as possible. I know I fucked up-I put my job before the one thing, the one person, who means the most to Naomi.
Naomi stretches in my embrace and I smile at the feel of her smooth skin sliding beneath my hand.
"I'm going out," she says as she leans over and gently kisses me.
"Oh? Where are we going?" I ask, watching her slide into a satin robe.
"I," she emphasizes, "am going to get my hair done and then I'm meeting a friend for dinner." My heart quickens and I can feel sweat break out on my forehead.
" . . . she's been feeling isolated and shut in and I thought it was time for her to get out. And I can't help but feel a bit closed in myself. I love Blair and he needs me, but I miss my freedom."
I sigh when I realize she's talking about a female friend. I love Naomi, and I trust her. I do. But a part of me-a rather vengeful part-likes to remind me that she left me once.
"Oh," I answer. "Okay, I'll just unpack and hang out with Blair."
"Oh, thank you," Naomi gushes. "You two need this time to really get to know each other. I know it hasn't been easy-for either of you. He likes you, I know he does. There's nothing greater in this world that I want more than for the two men I love most to really be friends." She flutters about but doesn't protest when I join her in the shower.
She's finally ready to go and I walk her to the garage door and kiss her again. "Be careful," I warn. "The snow was really picking up as I got here."
She assures me she'll be fine and then I'm left alone-with my stepson.
Stepson. What a concept. I finally meet the woman of my dreams and I become a father-sort of. If I'm to have any role in Blair's life, I haven't sorted it out yet. But hell, what do I know about being a father? My dad isn't exactly role model material. He drinks too much and spends all day in front of the idiot box. Of course, he has his moments, but I want more than moments. I want it all.
I want Naomi to know that she means more to me than anything-I think I'd even tell Eaton to go to hell if she insisted. Thankfully, she hasn't.
My stomach rumbles and I decide it's time to find something to eat. Blair hasn't come out of his room, and I'm a little worried. I'm sure he would have called out if he'd hurt himself, but you can't be too careful. I approach his door and knock softly. There's no answer so I knock harder, while opening the door. The light from the hallway falls on the bed, and he's lying there asleep. He has an arm flung over his eyes, so I'm guessing he's got a headache.
"Blair," I say, while gently shaking his shoulder.
"Hmm?" he breathes after a few seconds.
"Did you take something for that headache?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says, nodding his head. "Not so bad now."
"Good. You hungry?" I ask.
Blair sighs and his arm falls to rest on his chest. He squints up at me. "Where's Naomi?"
I hate hearing him call his own mother by her given name, but I'm not in a position to criticize. "She went out with a friend."
He nods again. "Oh, yeah. Janice. She was waiting for you to get here to babysit."
I snort. "Babysitter I am not. But I know how to dial up a mean pizza. So, are you hungry or not?"
He thinks for a second before answering. "Yeah, just give me a minute."
"You need some help?" I offer.
"No, I've got this part down." He rolls to his side and slowly pushes himself up until he's sitting straight. He grabs hold of the bedside table and uses it to push himself upwards. I finally notice that the bed has been replaced, this one being much lower to the ground
He waves me out and says, "I'll catch up."
I wander down to the rec room and use the time take a good look around. I've been here before, but this is the first time I've really had a chance to relax and take it all in. I know Blair has an advanced degree in anthropology, and the walls in this room speak loudly of his true passion. I wonder why Blair keeps his life so contained-the rooms upstairs are bright and cold and tell nothing about the man living within their walls.
In this room, you get a glimpse of the man I haven't yet had the chance to meet. I wonder if I ever will.
I study the photos near the bar and grin at the few that hold images of my lovely lady.
"She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I jump, startled. I hadn't heard Blair come down. Ignoring my racing heart, I nod. I finger a picture of Naomi surrounded by women, young and old, all dressed in tattered clothes with dirt encrusted skin and every one of them with a huge grin on their dark faces.
"I took that when we were in Botswana. We stayed with a group of !Kung and Naomi loved it--the people, their ways. She was enthralled. It broke her heart when it was time to move on."
"She's an amazing lady," I finally say. I tear my eyes away and go to sit down. "So how's your lady?" I ask, gently.
Blair shrugs before slowly settling onto one of the other couches. "Not doing so well," he says quietly.
That's not what I'd heard and I'm surprised. "No? Naomi told me the burns are healing and Angeline's doctors are getting ready for the first surgery."
"They are. That's not what I meant. I mean, she is getting better and they are going to start the surgeries. It's just . . .."
"What's going on Blair?" I coax, sensing that he's about to shut down.
He squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. "She won't see me. Her parents won't even let me through the door."
Ah. Naomi had told me about this small problem. It's not surprising, at least not to me. I've encountered lots of patients who don't want their loved ones to see them when they're at their worst.
"I don't blame her man. I freaked. The first time I saw her; it was just-fuck! Her face-all I could think was that her beautiful face was gone. I couldn't even stay in the room with her-I was physically sick. I couldn't believe that the woman in that bed was my Angi. It's all I could think about." After a short pause, he adds, "I am such a bastard."
"Blair . . .."
"Look, don't, alright? I know I screwed up. Don't try to make me feel better," he snaps.
"Whoa! Who says I was going to reassure you? Maybe I was going to agree with you," I say.
"Oh. You were?" he asks.
I snort. "No. But I was going to offer a doctor's opinion. Is that okay?"
Blair twists his face up as he considers. He's saved from answering by the doorbell. I wave him down saying it was my idea so I'm paying. He doesn't argue. I bring the pizza's down-I ordered two as I know I tend to get hungry later in the night and will be looking for a snack. We load up our plates and I run upstairs to rustle up a couple of sodas and then rejoin Blair.
We sit and eat in silence. When we're both slowing down, I wipe my mouth and say, "So, about that opinion."
Blair laughs, just a little. "I was hoping you forgot."
"Nope. Brain like a steel trap," I say, pointing to my noggin.
"Riiight," he drawls out.
"You doubt?" I challenge. "How about we play a little one on one and I'll show you the mighty brain at work," I say, getting up to grab the box of Trivial Pursuit I saw nestled over in a nook of shelves.
His eyes are twinkling and I can tell I've got him right where I want him. "You're on," he says.
"Ah, ah. First, the opinion."
He does that eye rolling thing again and I wonder if he's sublimating for the loss of body motion. "Fine. What's your opinion, oh wise and mighty one?"
"Smart-ass," I grumble as I turn to face him. "First off, both your and Angeline's reactions are one hundred percent normal. To begin with, you've both been through a major trauma. That doesn't just affect your bodies. Maybe you thought she was dead-maybe she thought you were dead. It's hard to accept someone telling you the person you love is alive until you see them with your own eyes."
He's nodding so I continue.
"On top of that, you're both confined to your beds, unable to go and see the other. You've got family and friends coming through trying to reassure you that she's alright, that she made it-she's alive. They don't want you to freak, so they probably downplay how bad she was hurt. Families do that. They want to protect you, and frankly, your doctors don't want you to freak either, so they let you go on thinking things aren't quite so bad. And to them, they probably aren't. Angeline was alive, she'd made it through surgery, her body was fighting off any infection. To them, she was doing great.
"Then, one day, you're finally mobile enough to go and see her. Your doctors are confident you're not going to throw a coronary when you see her so they give you more details. But they coat it in med speak. Naomi probably gave you her best pep talk she could muster, not wanting to hurt her baby boy. And I bet all your friends tried to be as encouraging as possible.
"In fact, I'll bet it was Jim who gave it to you straight." Blair nods, his gaze fixed on the wall across from him.
"Told you how bad Angeline was really hurt, what to expect. Even went with your to see her. But by then, it wasn't enough. No matter what anyone told you, all you could think about was that you were finally getting to see the woman you love. You could imagine her sweet smile, her sexy voice, the touch of her hands. Kissing her lips and staring into her beautiful face," I pause, unsure if I'm going in the right direction.
"How'm I doing?" I probe.
Blair wipes a hand across his eyes. "Pretty good," he whispers.
Not wanting to lose this chance, I continue. "You walked into that hospital room, knowing how badly she was hurt, but thinking it won't be that bad. And instead, it was even worse. You'd been given minutes-hours maybe to accept how badly she'd been hurt. It wasn't enough time. And I'll tell you something Blair-it's never enough time. My patients' families tell me all the time, that no matter how well I try to prepare them, they never believe me until they can see it for themselves."
"She hates me," Blair whispers.
"She doesn't hate you. She's scared, she knows how badly she's hurt and she's striking out. She was hurt by your reaction, but only because she expected you to make her feel normal. But you can't do that Blair. No one can. She's going to have to go through the stages of grief before she can accept what's happened to her. Maybe she never will."
"So I'm supposed to just, never see her?" Blair demands, turning to me.
"Hell no! You go to see her as often as you can. Make sure she knows you aren't giving up on her. Don't let her give up on you. Call her room. Demand that her parents give you updates. Send her flowers. Just remember that she needs time, so respect that and don't push too hard."
Blair nods and draws in a shaky breath. "Okay, I thought we were contesting the ingenuous nature of that brain of yours. What are we waiting for?"
Accepting that we're done talking for now, I drag the large coffee table forward and put the game on it. Just as I'm about to roll the die, the doorbell chimes.
"Want me to get that?" I ask. Blair is looking a bit peaked around the edges and I feel bad for pushing him so hard. But from what Naomi'd told me, he needed to hear a few home truths.
He shakes his head and starts to push up. "I need to move around a bit anyway."
"Okay, how about I grab us some refills," and your pain meds, I think to myself.
I pass him and try not to think about whomever it is freezing their hinny off out there. Oh well, if they're friends of Blair's, they'll know to wait. I get to the kitchen when I hear the door open and the stamping of feet.
"Cold out there," echoes up the stairs. Ah, it's Jim. I grab a third soda and head down to join them.
"Duh! It's like, an arctic snow storm out there," Blair chides. He peeks out the door. "Did you shovel?"
"Just your porch."
"And the front walk," Blair adds, peeking out again.
"Get in here," Jim huffs closing the door and locking it. "The maintenance crew hasn't come through yet. You might have needed to get somewhere."
"Yeah, like the garage."
I chuckle as I join them. "Hi Jim. How're you?"
"Jared," he greets me, holding out his hand. "Good to see you again."
I hold up the sodas. "We're just about to engage in a battle of brain cells-care to join us?"
He looks questioningly at Blair who rolls his eyes-again. Definitely some sort of sublimation.
"Trivial Pursuit man."
"Ah, in that case, maybe I'll just sit this one out." He shrugs out of his jacket and shirks his wet shoes. "Is that pizza?"
"Yeah, it's downstairs. Help yourself," Blair answers as he starts to slowly climb down the stairs.
When Blair reaches the bottom, Jim and I follow.
"I've got news," Jim says, pushing the game aside so he can perch on the table.
I expect some sort of witticism out of Blair, but he just nods grimly.
"Do you want me to give you two some privacy?" I ask, standing.
Blair shocks me, saying, "No, stay. You're family."
I sit again and wait for the news.
"We caught her."
"Her?" Blair asks.
"Elizabeth Conklin, Meredosia, Illinois. We knew the postage stamp was from Meredosia, but we had a heck of time tying that to either one of you."
"But now you have," Blair says.
Jim nods. "It took a bit of footwork, but Brown finally got a lead about a girl Angeline went to college with who came from Meredosia. A Nancy Conklin."
Blair's eyes grow wide. "But Nancy's dead."
"And her sister's been holding a grudge for years. We think an article that ran last August profiling Angeline as an up-and-comer in the business world set her off. Turns out Nancy wasn't the only unstable one in that family."
Blair seems to be taking this all in with ease, but I'm completely confused. "So, who was Nancy?"
Blair fills me in on the details about Angeline's first successful venture into the business community and I can feel myself bristle thinking about the damage one screwed up, angry sister has caused.
"So what's going to happen to her?" Blair asks, grimacing a bit as he rolls his shoulders.
Jim cracks open a soda and hands it to Blair. "Take one of your pills, Chief," he says.
Blair grumbles and starts to get up. My face starts to flame as I pull them out of my pocket. "Grabbed them when I went upstairs," I explain hastily. Blair gives me a look that clearly screams, 'You too?' and takes the bottle.
"Gee thanks," he says, sarcastically.
Jim whaps his knee and Blair glares at him. "Respect your elders Junior."
Blair finally fumbles the bottle open and downs a pill, turning expectant eyes to Jim. "So?"
Jim shrugs. "We don't know much yet. When local detectives went out to question the family, Elizabeth began to scream about injustice and how 'that bitch' got hers. She was completely nuts Chief. They had to take her to the local hospital for a psych eval."
Blair's got his face buried in his hands now and his shoulders are shaking.
"Are you okay Blair?" I ask.
His shoulders shrug but otherwise he doesn't move. Jim and I sit quietly until Blair wipes his eyes and lays his head back on the couch cushion.
"What was she thinking?" he whispers hoarsely.
"I doubt she was thinking much at all Blair," Jim answers.
"I thought it would help-knowing that whoever did this is behind bars. But I don't feel better. It was all just so needless." He's silent for a moment before asking, "Does Angi know?"
"Brown and Rafe informed Angi and her parents. She knows."
Blair closes his eyes. "I wish I could see her."
"You will, just hang in there," Jim says, patting his knee. "Do you need anything?"
"No. It's just a shock."
"Maybe you should go to bed. Today probably hasn't been very easy for you," I say.
"Man, you are so not going there. You're not my father you know. Just because a man marries a woman does not make him king of the household. Not to mention, I'm over thirty. You can't tell me what to do."
I'm shocked at the outburst and I look over at Jim. The man looks like he's about to fall over. His face is red and he's sniggering behind his hand.
"You didn't just say what I think you did, did you?" I ask, beginning to see the humor in the situation.
Blair groans and squeezes his eyes shut. "No, no I didn't. I didn't say anything. I'm sleeping actually-can't you tell?" His body relaxes into the couch cushions and really, he feigns sleep quite well.
I turn to Jim. "I could probably use this as blackmail material."
"Be worth a few favors," he agrees.
Blair slits open one eye. "As if," he snorts.
"Don't worry Blair. I'll let it go-for now." I've actually been waiting for some sort of backlash and I feel almost gleeful that it's finally reared its head.
He meets my eyes and gives a tiny nod.
"Now, how about that game?" I shoo Jim off the table and pull the board back to the edge. "Jim? Small Fry here's running on half steam, we can take him," I joke.
Jim settles next to Blair and grabs some leftover pizza. "You're on."
By: Victoria May
The snow has grown thick-fluffy by the time I pull my luggage out of the trunk. It reminds me of childhood games of king of the mountain and skating on old man Walter's pond. Of course, if we'd known then that the 'pond' was really sewage overflow, well, we wouldn't have been skating, that's for sure. Old Walter is probably still rolling over in his grave laughing his ass off.
But the snow is cool on my hot face and it's a relief to finally be here. Flying across the continent is not my idea of fun and games. But it's been far too long since I've seen my girl and she needs me right now.
I don't know about Blair though. He's a tough one to read. Not that I'm surprised by that-not after the way we were introduced. I'm surprised he can even stand to talk to me let alone invite me into his home to stay for a month. A month-what the hell was I thinking?
I know, he's family now. He hasn't made the marriage an issue. He hasn't tried to blame me for keeping the truth from him. He's been friendly and polite and has even gone out of his way to learn about my family and my life. He's pretty tightlipped about himself though. Naomi had warned me of that. Said not to push him-to just let him be. That it was just the way Blair is.
Uh huh. Right. But to go there only leads me down roads I don't want to travel. Places where Naomi isn't as perfect as I want to believe. I've waited a long time for her and frankly, I'm a simpering coward. Afraid to push the envelop or confront her about the life she's led, the life she's shared with her son. A life she's so graciously let me be a part of.
I'm not a stupid man. I know Naomi. I know enough to realize that our marriage means something. That out of every man Naomi has ever been with or loved, that I am the one she chose forever with.
I love Naomi. She's everything I have ever wanted. She beautiful. She's so confident and independent. I've been with plenty of women who've clung to my side and seemed to thrive off the attention of being with a 'doctor'. Big deal. I don't want a groupie. I want excitement, the thrill of the chase, intelligent conversations, passion . . . I swear Naomi must have taken a class on the Kama Sutra. And she sure was right about yoga.
I know, sex isn't everything. And it's not. Naomi, well, she just makes me feel so much . . . more. It's a feeling that I can't really put into words.
"Yo! Jared! You planning on coming inside anytime soon?"
I jump, just a bit, and am surprised to see Blair standing on the front stoop watching me.
"Now just how long have you been standing there?" I ask, gathering up my bags.
"Long enough," he answers, holding the door open. "Hope that didn't hurt," he says as he follows me into the foyer.
"What?" I search for a place to set my bags and he just gestures to the corner behind the door.
"Just set 'em down and let them dry out for now. And what, what?"
I watch him grasp the handrail and slowly step up on the first step.
"The first step's always a doozy," he says, reading my mind.
"Be careful Blair! Hold onto the rail!" Naomi's melodic voice floats down the stairs.
Blair just slowly turns his head-it's almost freakish watching him do that while his back is ramrod straight and still facing forward-and rolls his eyes.
"I am so glad you're here man. Do you think you can get her out of my hair, like maybe, tonight? Take her somewhere, anywhere. Take her shopping or see a movie-oh, I know! There's a new Tai place downtown, she'll love that."
"I can hear you, you know."
And there's the love of my life.
"Naomi," I say, smiling widely. "You look . . .." My grin falters as I notice the white powder liberally decorating her sweater and the smudge of something across her brow. "Um, you look . . .." I turn to my new stepson. "Help me out here Blair."
"Betty Crockery," he answers, without missing a beat. "She's baking."
I shudder and paste on a smile. "Baking? Well, that's, um, great." I've tasted Naomi's attempts at baking. Betty Crocker she is not.
Blair's finally made it to the top of the stairs and he's panting slightly. I catch up and step in close, just in case. "You okay?" I ask.
"Fine, fine. Just a little tuckered," he says. "Go say hi to your wife," he says, shooing me away. He rolls his eyes again as I follow him over to a chair and take his arm to help him sit.
"Okay, not an invalid!" he gripes.
"Didn't say you were," I reply, moving over to my gorgeous wife. "Hello beautiful," I greet before tasting her lips again. I almost melt, she tastes so good. It has been far, far too long. Dr. Eaton and I will be having a few words when I get back to Jersey. Since when do I rank so low I can't take emergency family leave when I need it? I know I could have just taken it, left anyway and had the law to back me, but I need Eaton's support if I want the research grant I applied for. The old crotchety bastard. God, I hope he retires soon.
"How was your flight?" she asks, pulling back slightly.
"I'm just glad it's over," I answer before taking her lips again. "Mmn," I groan. "I missed you so much."
Her head tucks perfectly into the curve of my neck and I smell her organic shampoo. "Me too," she answers quietly. I rub her back, reveling in her warmth. As I pull away, she makes a tiny squeal.
"Oh, your shirt! I hope it's not ruined."
I glance down and frown at the frosty covering of flour across my chest. "Huh. Well, since I'm already covered in flour, I guess I'll just have to help you in the kitchen." And maybe salvage whatever it is your baking, I add silently to myself.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Naomi says.
"But I want to," I insist.
"You think I'm going to burn the cake," she accuses, tilting her head at me. I blush and she laughs. "I promise, it'll be edible."
"Never doubted you," I bluff. I turn to wink at Blair and find him staring at us, his eyes slightly out of focus. He must finally realize I'm watching him because his eyes dart quickly away.
Naomi starts to move away so I wrap my arm around her waist and walk with her into the kitchen. Sure enough, the room is a mess. Ignoring the pile of flour on the counter, I push her back against the dusty surface and press myself against her. I need to touch her-to feel her velvety skin. To taste her-I nibble at her earlobe. "Missed you," I say again. She groans and grabs a handful of hair, pulling my lips to hers.
"I need you," she says, gasping for air, her slender body arching forward.
"Blair," I start to protest.
"He's fine. He understands. You're my husband and I haven't seen you in weeks." And that's all it takes. I notice as we pass through the living room that Blair has left. The door to his bedroom is shut. It's the last thought I have before I get to know my wife again.
We love, and we tease, and we talk and finally, we just lay there holding one another.
"You did turn the oven off?" I ask eventually, stupidly.
Naomi giggles and rolls over, slipping her arm over my waist. "Of course."
We lapse back into a comfortable silence and it's Naomi who breaks it this time. "You can stay, can't you?" asks, quietly.
"Yes," I whisper. "The entire month. I told you that."
"I know," she says. "I just had to be sure. After the . . . accident, and you had to leave. I just had to be sure," she says, and I feel like an ass. Of course she's not sure. I didn't-couldn't stay when Blair was in the hospital. I'd promised her that I'd be here, but Eaton . . .. No, it's no one's fault but my own and I know it. I'd felt like I'd been given a second chance when Naomi asked me to come as soon as possible. I know I fucked up-I put my job before the one thing, the one person, who means the most to Naomi.
Naomi stretches in my embrace and I smile at the feel of her smooth skin sliding beneath my hand.
"I'm going out," she says as she leans over and gently kisses me.
"Oh? Where are we going?" I ask, watching her slide into a satin robe.
"I," she emphasizes, "am going to get my hair done and then I'm meeting a friend for dinner." My heart quickens and I can feel sweat break out on my forehead.
" . . . she's been feeling isolated and shut in and I thought it was time for her to get out. And I can't help but feel a bit closed in myself. I love Blair and he needs me, but I miss my freedom."
I sigh when I realize she's talking about a female friend. I love Naomi, and I trust her. I do. But a part of me-a rather vengeful part-likes to remind me that she left me once.
"Oh," I answer. "Okay, I'll just unpack and hang out with Blair."
"Oh, thank you," Naomi gushes. "You two need this time to really get to know each other. I know it hasn't been easy-for either of you. He likes you, I know he does. There's nothing greater in this world that I want more than for the two men I love most to really be friends." She flutters about but doesn't protest when I join her in the shower.
She's finally ready to go and I walk her to the garage door and kiss her again. "Be careful," I warn. "The snow was really picking up as I got here."
She assures me she'll be fine and then I'm left alone-with my stepson.
Stepson. What a concept. I finally meet the woman of my dreams and I become a father-sort of. If I'm to have any role in Blair's life, I haven't sorted it out yet. But hell, what do I know about being a father? My dad isn't exactly role model material. He drinks too much and spends all day in front of the idiot box. Of course, he has his moments, but I want more than moments. I want it all.
I want Naomi to know that she means more to me than anything-I think I'd even tell Eaton to go to hell if she insisted. Thankfully, she hasn't.
My stomach rumbles and I decide it's time to find something to eat. Blair hasn't come out of his room, and I'm a little worried. I'm sure he would have called out if he'd hurt himself, but you can't be too careful. I approach his door and knock softly. There's no answer so I knock harder, while opening the door. The light from the hallway falls on the bed, and he's lying there asleep. He has an arm flung over his eyes, so I'm guessing he's got a headache.
"Blair," I say, while gently shaking his shoulder.
"Hmm?" he breathes after a few seconds.
"Did you take something for that headache?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says, nodding his head. "Not so bad now."
"Good. You hungry?" I ask.
Blair sighs and his arm falls to rest on his chest. He squints up at me. "Where's Naomi?"
I hate hearing him call his own mother by her given name, but I'm not in a position to criticize. "She went out with a friend."
He nods again. "Oh, yeah. Janice. She was waiting for you to get here to babysit."
I snort. "Babysitter I am not. But I know how to dial up a mean pizza. So, are you hungry or not?"
He thinks for a second before answering. "Yeah, just give me a minute."
"You need some help?" I offer.
"No, I've got this part down." He rolls to his side and slowly pushes himself up until he's sitting straight. He grabs hold of the bedside table and uses it to push himself upwards. I finally notice that the bed has been replaced, this one being much lower to the ground
He waves me out and says, "I'll catch up."
I wander down to the rec room and use the time take a good look around. I've been here before, but this is the first time I've really had a chance to relax and take it all in. I know Blair has an advanced degree in anthropology, and the walls in this room speak loudly of his true passion. I wonder why Blair keeps his life so contained-the rooms upstairs are bright and cold and tell nothing about the man living within their walls.
In this room, you get a glimpse of the man I haven't yet had the chance to meet. I wonder if I ever will.
I study the photos near the bar and grin at the few that hold images of my lovely lady.
"She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I jump, startled. I hadn't heard Blair come down. Ignoring my racing heart, I nod. I finger a picture of Naomi surrounded by women, young and old, all dressed in tattered clothes with dirt encrusted skin and every one of them with a huge grin on their dark faces.
"I took that when we were in Botswana. We stayed with a group of !Kung and Naomi loved it--the people, their ways. She was enthralled. It broke her heart when it was time to move on."
"She's an amazing lady," I finally say. I tear my eyes away and go to sit down. "So how's your lady?" I ask, gently.
Blair shrugs before slowly settling onto one of the other couches. "Not doing so well," he says quietly.
That's not what I'd heard and I'm surprised. "No? Naomi told me the burns are healing and Angeline's doctors are getting ready for the first surgery."
"They are. That's not what I meant. I mean, she is getting better and they are going to start the surgeries. It's just . . .."
"What's going on Blair?" I coax, sensing that he's about to shut down.
He squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. "She won't see me. Her parents won't even let me through the door."
Ah. Naomi had told me about this small problem. It's not surprising, at least not to me. I've encountered lots of patients who don't want their loved ones to see them when they're at their worst.
"I don't blame her man. I freaked. The first time I saw her; it was just-fuck! Her face-all I could think was that her beautiful face was gone. I couldn't even stay in the room with her-I was physically sick. I couldn't believe that the woman in that bed was my Angi. It's all I could think about." After a short pause, he adds, "I am such a bastard."
"Blair . . .."
"Look, don't, alright? I know I screwed up. Don't try to make me feel better," he snaps.
"Whoa! Who says I was going to reassure you? Maybe I was going to agree with you," I say.
"Oh. You were?" he asks.
I snort. "No. But I was going to offer a doctor's opinion. Is that okay?"
Blair twists his face up as he considers. He's saved from answering by the doorbell. I wave him down saying it was my idea so I'm paying. He doesn't argue. I bring the pizza's down-I ordered two as I know I tend to get hungry later in the night and will be looking for a snack. We load up our plates and I run upstairs to rustle up a couple of sodas and then rejoin Blair.
We sit and eat in silence. When we're both slowing down, I wipe my mouth and say, "So, about that opinion."
Blair laughs, just a little. "I was hoping you forgot."
"Nope. Brain like a steel trap," I say, pointing to my noggin.
"Riiight," he drawls out.
"You doubt?" I challenge. "How about we play a little one on one and I'll show you the mighty brain at work," I say, getting up to grab the box of Trivial Pursuit I saw nestled over in a nook of shelves.
His eyes are twinkling and I can tell I've got him right where I want him. "You're on," he says.
"Ah, ah. First, the opinion."
He does that eye rolling thing again and I wonder if he's sublimating for the loss of body motion. "Fine. What's your opinion, oh wise and mighty one?"
"Smart-ass," I grumble as I turn to face him. "First off, both your and Angeline's reactions are one hundred percent normal. To begin with, you've both been through a major trauma. That doesn't just affect your bodies. Maybe you thought she was dead-maybe she thought you were dead. It's hard to accept someone telling you the person you love is alive until you see them with your own eyes."
He's nodding so I continue.
"On top of that, you're both confined to your beds, unable to go and see the other. You've got family and friends coming through trying to reassure you that she's alright, that she made it-she's alive. They don't want you to freak, so they probably downplay how bad she was hurt. Families do that. They want to protect you, and frankly, your doctors don't want you to freak either, so they let you go on thinking things aren't quite so bad. And to them, they probably aren't. Angeline was alive, she'd made it through surgery, her body was fighting off any infection. To them, she was doing great.
"Then, one day, you're finally mobile enough to go and see her. Your doctors are confident you're not going to throw a coronary when you see her so they give you more details. But they coat it in med speak. Naomi probably gave you her best pep talk she could muster, not wanting to hurt her baby boy. And I bet all your friends tried to be as encouraging as possible.
"In fact, I'll bet it was Jim who gave it to you straight." Blair nods, his gaze fixed on the wall across from him.
"Told you how bad Angeline was really hurt, what to expect. Even went with your to see her. But by then, it wasn't enough. No matter what anyone told you, all you could think about was that you were finally getting to see the woman you love. You could imagine her sweet smile, her sexy voice, the touch of her hands. Kissing her lips and staring into her beautiful face," I pause, unsure if I'm going in the right direction.
"How'm I doing?" I probe.
Blair wipes a hand across his eyes. "Pretty good," he whispers.
Not wanting to lose this chance, I continue. "You walked into that hospital room, knowing how badly she was hurt, but thinking it won't be that bad. And instead, it was even worse. You'd been given minutes-hours maybe to accept how badly she'd been hurt. It wasn't enough time. And I'll tell you something Blair-it's never enough time. My patients' families tell me all the time, that no matter how well I try to prepare them, they never believe me until they can see it for themselves."
"She hates me," Blair whispers.
"She doesn't hate you. She's scared, she knows how badly she's hurt and she's striking out. She was hurt by your reaction, but only because she expected you to make her feel normal. But you can't do that Blair. No one can. She's going to have to go through the stages of grief before she can accept what's happened to her. Maybe she never will."
"So I'm supposed to just, never see her?" Blair demands, turning to me.
"Hell no! You go to see her as often as you can. Make sure she knows you aren't giving up on her. Don't let her give up on you. Call her room. Demand that her parents give you updates. Send her flowers. Just remember that she needs time, so respect that and don't push too hard."
Blair nods and draws in a shaky breath. "Okay, I thought we were contesting the ingenuous nature of that brain of yours. What are we waiting for?"
Accepting that we're done talking for now, I drag the large coffee table forward and put the game on it. Just as I'm about to roll the die, the doorbell chimes.
"Want me to get that?" I ask. Blair is looking a bit peaked around the edges and I feel bad for pushing him so hard. But from what Naomi'd told me, he needed to hear a few home truths.
He shakes his head and starts to push up. "I need to move around a bit anyway."
"Okay, how about I grab us some refills," and your pain meds, I think to myself.
I pass him and try not to think about whomever it is freezing their hinny off out there. Oh well, if they're friends of Blair's, they'll know to wait. I get to the kitchen when I hear the door open and the stamping of feet.
"Cold out there," echoes up the stairs. Ah, it's Jim. I grab a third soda and head down to join them.
"Duh! It's like, an arctic snow storm out there," Blair chides. He peeks out the door. "Did you shovel?"
"Just your porch."
"And the front walk," Blair adds, peeking out again.
"Get in here," Jim huffs closing the door and locking it. "The maintenance crew hasn't come through yet. You might have needed to get somewhere."
"Yeah, like the garage."
I chuckle as I join them. "Hi Jim. How're you?"
"Jared," he greets me, holding out his hand. "Good to see you again."
I hold up the sodas. "We're just about to engage in a battle of brain cells-care to join us?"
He looks questioningly at Blair who rolls his eyes-again. Definitely some sort of sublimation.
"Trivial Pursuit man."
"Ah, in that case, maybe I'll just sit this one out." He shrugs out of his jacket and shirks his wet shoes. "Is that pizza?"
"Yeah, it's downstairs. Help yourself," Blair answers as he starts to slowly climb down the stairs.
When Blair reaches the bottom, Jim and I follow.
"I've got news," Jim says, pushing the game aside so he can perch on the table.
I expect some sort of witticism out of Blair, but he just nods grimly.
"Do you want me to give you two some privacy?" I ask, standing.
Blair shocks me, saying, "No, stay. You're family."
I sit again and wait for the news.
"We caught her."
"Her?" Blair asks.
"Elizabeth Conklin, Meredosia, Illinois. We knew the postage stamp was from Meredosia, but we had a heck of time tying that to either one of you."
"But now you have," Blair says.
Jim nods. "It took a bit of footwork, but Brown finally got a lead about a girl Angeline went to college with who came from Meredosia. A Nancy Conklin."
Blair's eyes grow wide. "But Nancy's dead."
"And her sister's been holding a grudge for years. We think an article that ran last August profiling Angeline as an up-and-comer in the business world set her off. Turns out Nancy wasn't the only unstable one in that family."
Blair seems to be taking this all in with ease, but I'm completely confused. "So, who was Nancy?"
Blair fills me in on the details about Angeline's first successful venture into the business community and I can feel myself bristle thinking about the damage one screwed up, angry sister has caused.
"So what's going to happen to her?" Blair asks, grimacing a bit as he rolls his shoulders.
Jim cracks open a soda and hands it to Blair. "Take one of your pills, Chief," he says.
Blair grumbles and starts to get up. My face starts to flame as I pull them out of my pocket. "Grabbed them when I went upstairs," I explain hastily. Blair gives me a look that clearly screams, 'You too?' and takes the bottle.
"Gee thanks," he says, sarcastically.
Jim whaps his knee and Blair glares at him. "Respect your elders Junior."
Blair finally fumbles the bottle open and downs a pill, turning expectant eyes to Jim. "So?"
Jim shrugs. "We don't know much yet. When local detectives went out to question the family, Elizabeth began to scream about injustice and how 'that bitch' got hers. She was completely nuts Chief. They had to take her to the local hospital for a psych eval."
Blair's got his face buried in his hands now and his shoulders are shaking.
"Are you okay Blair?" I ask.
His shoulders shrug but otherwise he doesn't move. Jim and I sit quietly until Blair wipes his eyes and lays his head back on the couch cushion.
"What was she thinking?" he whispers hoarsely.
"I doubt she was thinking much at all Blair," Jim answers.
"I thought it would help-knowing that whoever did this is behind bars. But I don't feel better. It was all just so needless." He's silent for a moment before asking, "Does Angi know?"
"Brown and Rafe informed Angi and her parents. She knows."
Blair closes his eyes. "I wish I could see her."
"You will, just hang in there," Jim says, patting his knee. "Do you need anything?"
"No. It's just a shock."
"Maybe you should go to bed. Today probably hasn't been very easy for you," I say.
"Man, you are so not going there. You're not my father you know. Just because a man marries a woman does not make him king of the household. Not to mention, I'm over thirty. You can't tell me what to do."
I'm shocked at the outburst and I look over at Jim. The man looks like he's about to fall over. His face is red and he's sniggering behind his hand.
"You didn't just say what I think you did, did you?" I ask, beginning to see the humor in the situation.
Blair groans and squeezes his eyes shut. "No, no I didn't. I didn't say anything. I'm sleeping actually-can't you tell?" His body relaxes into the couch cushions and really, he feigns sleep quite well.
I turn to Jim. "I could probably use this as blackmail material."
"Be worth a few favors," he agrees.
Blair slits open one eye. "As if," he snorts.
"Don't worry Blair. I'll let it go-for now." I've actually been waiting for some sort of backlash and I feel almost gleeful that it's finally reared its head.
He meets my eyes and gives a tiny nod.
"Now, how about that game?" I shoo Jim off the table and pull the board back to the edge. "Jim? Small Fry here's running on half steam, we can take him," I joke.
Jim settles next to Blair and grabs some leftover pizza. "You're on."