Author's Note: Okay, just a bunch of name translating this time, just in
case. If I've used these names in past chapters and you didn't understand,
my apologies. I use their original Japanese names. But, here's a full cast
run down of the characters that have been translated and put onto tv by
some rather evil translation companies . Tsukino Usagi-Serena, Chiba
Mamoru-Darien, Mizuno Ami-Amy, Hino Rei-Raye, Kino Makoto-Lita, Aino Minako-
Mina, Ten'ou Haruka-Amara, Kai'ou Michiru-Michelle, Tomoe Hotaru-Hotaru,
Mei'ou Setsuna-Setsuna, Chibi-Usa-Rini, Elios-Helios. Oh, and, then there's
Usako. Usako is a loving nickname that Mamoru has for Usagi, like Usagi
calls him Mamo-chan. There ya go. Again, if there's any questions, e-mail
me at bardsenshi@hotmail.com. Enjoy! Review! Ja ne!
Chapter Eight
Several days later, Selena was seated atop a hill as she watched over Small Lady, her four protectors, and Hotaru play in a lake in the meadow below. Sighing, she turned her gaze from them to look toward the sky. "Selena...what do you want of me? You gave me this great gift that has thus far only prolonged a life of pain that should have ended two millennia ago. What is that you want me to do? For I find my patience for a pointless life of endless pain is growing thin..."
Ahem."
She turned to see Endymion standing behind her. He was dressed in a pair dress pants and shirt instead of his usual royal wear. As he sat next to her, she turned her gaze back to the six girls below.
"Selena..." Endymion started to say something about what he had just overheard, but decided against it and chose another way to find out what he wanted to know. "You're not happy here, are you?"
For a long time, Selena did not speak, or make any sign that she was going to answer. Knowing he had to be patient in waiting for an answer to such a difficult and weighty question, so he simply sat and waited beside her.
"Endymion... I remember visiting with Pluto once, and seeing a time in the twentieth century when you were haunted by dreams of your future self that caused you to leave Serenity. To say that you didn't love her anymore." She paused, looking over to him, her lavender eyes filled with a profound sadness. "Do you remember how that felt?"
The king frowned as he recalled the memory. "It felt like I would never be happy again."
"Why?"
"I couldn't be with the one I loved, and I had to hide how I truly felt from all my friends."
Selena looked back down to the girls in the water. She picked up a small rock to toy with as she spoke. "You lived through that for a very short amount of time. I've lived with it for two millennia. Hiding the truth from Serenity and all the princesses, knowing I could only show the love an aunt would show to a girl who is my daughter. A girl who would grow up calling someone else her mother. And knowing that the only man I ever loved... cold never be mine." Selena looked back over to Endymion, unshed tears shimmering in the depths of lavender orbs. "Two thousand years of living with that pain... I'm ready to go, Endymion. I'm ready for my life to end, but it can't because of my healer's blood." Her words suddenly became angry. "This god-forsaken gift from Selene!" She threw down the rock angrily as she jumped up to her feet and ran away.
"Selena!"
"Daddy?"
Endymion turned to find his daughter standing a few feet away, dripping with water from the lake that she had just vacated.
"What's wrong with Selena, Daddy?"
He sighed, looking to the rock on the ground. "She's in a lot of pain, honey. She's had to live with it for two thousand years, and it seems to her as if it will never end."
"Is there something we can do to help her feel better?"
The king looked up to find a look of deep concern on the princess's face. He could only smile sadly. "I wish there were."
Frowning, she turned and walked back down the hill to where her friends waited, leaving Endymion by himself. He was still there even as the sun made its way back down. No one found him till the first stars began appearing in the sky. It was his daughter that found him.
"I thought you might still be here... everyone's looking for you and Selena."
He looked over to her as she sat next to him. "Selena still hasn't come back to the palace?"
She shook her head a little. "No. I thought you might have an idea."
"Yes, actually... but first, honey, I want to ask you something."
"Sure, Daddy," Small Lady replied, a small smile on her face as her absolute trust in her father showed as she looked over at him.
He was silent a moment before speaking, looking up to the sky. "A big part of Selena's pain is having to hide the truth from your mother and not being able to treat you like her daughter."
"You want to tell Mommy, don't you?"
Endymion looked to her and nodded. "It's been hidden for far too long... I should be the one to tell her. But only if it's alright with you and Selena."
"It's alright with me, Daddy. But are you sure it wouldn't hurt Selena more to know that this will hurt Mommy?"
Endymion looked to his daughter as silence fell, a kind of bewilderment showing in his eyes. He saw the question in her own eyes to reply to it, and a faint smile came to his lips. He lifted a hand to lightly touch her cheek. "Sometimes, I really don't know where you get it from. You're far too young to be so wise from age, and you certainly didn't get that from me... Though, you know honey... I know it might be a bit much to be asking of your mother, but I think she'll understand. I think she'd be more concerned about the pain Selena's been through because of it."
"Then let's go find Selena and see what she thinks."
Endymion smiled to his daughter. As always, she seemed far wiser and stronger than she could have possibly inherited from him. Reaching out and squeezing her hand, he rose to his feet and headed down the hill with her following closely behind.
It wasn't long before they found Selena in the castle rose gardens. Sitting down with her, they explained his plans as she listened patiently.
"Are you sure that she won't be hurt?"
"I'm sure it will hurt at first... but if I know Serenity, she'll be more concerned about the pain you've been living with."
Selena shook her head with a gentle sigh, as she looked away from them. "I wouldn't deserve her concern. I deserve her hatred."
"Selena... Selena, look at me."
When she wouldn't, he reached over and gently turned her head so that she faced him. "Selena, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. It's because of you that we have our daughter. You could have chosen to keep her there with you."
"It was better for her to send her to live with you."
"But that's just it, Selena! You think of everyone else's happiness before your own. You made one mistake in your entire life that wasn't even completely your fault, and you've spent two thousand years in pain because of it... But if you really don't want Serenity to be told, I'll respect that decision."
"No.. even with how I feel set aside, she deserves to know. She's always been honest with everyone. It's time we were honest with her."
"Alright. Let's go find her then."
"Mommy should be meeting with her senshi right now in the council room. I think I'll stay out here a little longer."
As the two adults headed inside, Luna came trotting out. She leapt easily into Small Lady's lap. "Where are those two headed?"
"They're telling mom the truth."
"Really?! Well, I can't say that I disapprove. It won't be easy."
"Luna, I'm so confused! I know Mommy and Daddy belong together, but what about Selena? I mean, doesn't she deserve the kind of love they have? But Daddy's the one she's in love with... Why is fate so cruel to her?! It's not fair!"
"Oh, Small Lady..." Luna sighed softly. "I wish life were as fair as you want it to be. Love does not always end happily, but sometimes it is for the best. Your mother's best friend when she was in junior high, Naru, fell in love with the enemy as he was masquerading as someone else. It turned out he truly cared for her, but in the end, he was killed because of his love because it was viewed as a weakness. There have been numerous people to fall for your mother, and your father's charm has three women in love with him, not just two."
"Three? Who's the third Luna?"
"Setsuna, unfortunately. But we can only hope, in both cases, someone else will come along and take your father's place in their hearts."
"Yeah..."
Meanwhile, in the council room...
"Serenity?"
The queen turned from where she sat at the head of a rectangular table with Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako to look at the two newcomers. She wore a smile, but it slowly fell as she saw the solemn expressions they wore. "Yes, Selena?"
"We need to talk."
Glancing at each other, Serenity's protectors rose and left the room, closing the door behind them. Endymion and Selena sat down to one side of her. Endymion began, starting with his trip to where Selena was, and leading right up to when Queen Serenity had to tell Selena what the council's decision had been. Selena continued, telling the story through sending her daughter on to the future, to when she came and found her on the Moon.
"So... my daughter... is not... mine?"
"No! Serenity, no. That's not what we meant. I suppose, in a way, she belongs to us both, but to you more. You have raised her all these years into the beautiful young woman she is. Endymion and I only felt it was beyond past the time for you to hear the truth."
"Oh, Selena... If only I'd known... I never thought I could be a source of pain to you. But it appears that I've been nothing but that." Serenity buried her face in her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Selena jumped up, pulling her sister into her arms. "I never meant to imply that. It was my decision throughout it all that led me to any pain I might have felt. I had only hoped to save you from it."
Serenity gave a small laugh. "Look at us.. for so long, I was the big sister. Now, apparently, you've taken that role."
Endymion smiled faintly over to the two sisters.
"Oh, I just wish you two had told me sooner... I can't tell you I'm not hurt... but I can't pretend that for the longest time I felt guilty for being in love with Endymion when I knew how you felt about him"
"Don't. You two were meant to be together. We cannot change fate. That's up to the gods... Now, if you'll both excuse me, I feel as if I've been completely wrung of energy. I'm headed to bed." Selena left the room, leaving Serenity and Endymion alone.
"Oh, Endymion... I feel as if she'll never find true happiness. She deserves so much more than that. It's not fair that she must suffer while everyone else around her is so happy."
He let out a long sigh, sinking back into his chair. "I know that, Usako, but what can we possibly do?"
She got up and walked over to him, settling in his lap and curling up against him. "I know you must feel horrible..."
Endymion smirked mirthlessly. "Am I that see-through?"
Sighing softly, she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Everything will work out for the best. I have that much faith in destiny, at least. After all... look at how hard destiny had it keeping us together... And here we are."
Her husband smiled a little, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Serenity, I don't know what I'd do without your ability to always see a bright future in everything."
Serenity smiled serenely. "You'd go totally and completely mad."
Chuckling softly, he kissed her again. "Well, in that case, I'll have to do everything in my power to keep you by my side."
"I don't think that will be a problem." Serenity and Endymion rose and, taking each other's hand, left the council room and headed to bed.
Selena, meanwhile, had wandered back out to the gardens instead of heading to bed. Small Lady had gone inside long ago with Luna not far behind, so she was alone for the time being.
"Selena."
She turned to find Sailor Pluto standing behind her. Smiling faintly, she greeted her old friend.
"Selena... I know at times you feel as if you want your life to end. I know you must because I have felt the same at times, and I have not suffered as much."
"Setsuna, please... I do not need a summary of what I have suffered."
"No. But I have a point. I know you feel this way. But there will come a time when you'll be needed again. I can't promise you happiness. That is in you to decide."
Bewildered slightly, but knowing Setsuna's ways, Selena only nodded her head as the green-haired soldier of Pluto left.
Looking to the midnight black sky, she found the stars shone brightly in the sky, but the Moon could not be seen. Wondering at this seemingly dark omen, she did not dare guess what it meant for the days to come.
Chapter Eight
Several days later, Selena was seated atop a hill as she watched over Small Lady, her four protectors, and Hotaru play in a lake in the meadow below. Sighing, she turned her gaze from them to look toward the sky. "Selena...what do you want of me? You gave me this great gift that has thus far only prolonged a life of pain that should have ended two millennia ago. What is that you want me to do? For I find my patience for a pointless life of endless pain is growing thin..."
Ahem."
She turned to see Endymion standing behind her. He was dressed in a pair dress pants and shirt instead of his usual royal wear. As he sat next to her, she turned her gaze back to the six girls below.
"Selena..." Endymion started to say something about what he had just overheard, but decided against it and chose another way to find out what he wanted to know. "You're not happy here, are you?"
For a long time, Selena did not speak, or make any sign that she was going to answer. Knowing he had to be patient in waiting for an answer to such a difficult and weighty question, so he simply sat and waited beside her.
"Endymion... I remember visiting with Pluto once, and seeing a time in the twentieth century when you were haunted by dreams of your future self that caused you to leave Serenity. To say that you didn't love her anymore." She paused, looking over to him, her lavender eyes filled with a profound sadness. "Do you remember how that felt?"
The king frowned as he recalled the memory. "It felt like I would never be happy again."
"Why?"
"I couldn't be with the one I loved, and I had to hide how I truly felt from all my friends."
Selena looked back down to the girls in the water. She picked up a small rock to toy with as she spoke. "You lived through that for a very short amount of time. I've lived with it for two millennia. Hiding the truth from Serenity and all the princesses, knowing I could only show the love an aunt would show to a girl who is my daughter. A girl who would grow up calling someone else her mother. And knowing that the only man I ever loved... cold never be mine." Selena looked back over to Endymion, unshed tears shimmering in the depths of lavender orbs. "Two thousand years of living with that pain... I'm ready to go, Endymion. I'm ready for my life to end, but it can't because of my healer's blood." Her words suddenly became angry. "This god-forsaken gift from Selene!" She threw down the rock angrily as she jumped up to her feet and ran away.
"Selena!"
"Daddy?"
Endymion turned to find his daughter standing a few feet away, dripping with water from the lake that she had just vacated.
"What's wrong with Selena, Daddy?"
He sighed, looking to the rock on the ground. "She's in a lot of pain, honey. She's had to live with it for two thousand years, and it seems to her as if it will never end."
"Is there something we can do to help her feel better?"
The king looked up to find a look of deep concern on the princess's face. He could only smile sadly. "I wish there were."
Frowning, she turned and walked back down the hill to where her friends waited, leaving Endymion by himself. He was still there even as the sun made its way back down. No one found him till the first stars began appearing in the sky. It was his daughter that found him.
"I thought you might still be here... everyone's looking for you and Selena."
He looked over to her as she sat next to him. "Selena still hasn't come back to the palace?"
She shook her head a little. "No. I thought you might have an idea."
"Yes, actually... but first, honey, I want to ask you something."
"Sure, Daddy," Small Lady replied, a small smile on her face as her absolute trust in her father showed as she looked over at him.
He was silent a moment before speaking, looking up to the sky. "A big part of Selena's pain is having to hide the truth from your mother and not being able to treat you like her daughter."
"You want to tell Mommy, don't you?"
Endymion looked to her and nodded. "It's been hidden for far too long... I should be the one to tell her. But only if it's alright with you and Selena."
"It's alright with me, Daddy. But are you sure it wouldn't hurt Selena more to know that this will hurt Mommy?"
Endymion looked to his daughter as silence fell, a kind of bewilderment showing in his eyes. He saw the question in her own eyes to reply to it, and a faint smile came to his lips. He lifted a hand to lightly touch her cheek. "Sometimes, I really don't know where you get it from. You're far too young to be so wise from age, and you certainly didn't get that from me... Though, you know honey... I know it might be a bit much to be asking of your mother, but I think she'll understand. I think she'd be more concerned about the pain Selena's been through because of it."
"Then let's go find Selena and see what she thinks."
Endymion smiled to his daughter. As always, she seemed far wiser and stronger than she could have possibly inherited from him. Reaching out and squeezing her hand, he rose to his feet and headed down the hill with her following closely behind.
It wasn't long before they found Selena in the castle rose gardens. Sitting down with her, they explained his plans as she listened patiently.
"Are you sure that she won't be hurt?"
"I'm sure it will hurt at first... but if I know Serenity, she'll be more concerned about the pain you've been living with."
Selena shook her head with a gentle sigh, as she looked away from them. "I wouldn't deserve her concern. I deserve her hatred."
"Selena... Selena, look at me."
When she wouldn't, he reached over and gently turned her head so that she faced him. "Selena, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. It's because of you that we have our daughter. You could have chosen to keep her there with you."
"It was better for her to send her to live with you."
"But that's just it, Selena! You think of everyone else's happiness before your own. You made one mistake in your entire life that wasn't even completely your fault, and you've spent two thousand years in pain because of it... But if you really don't want Serenity to be told, I'll respect that decision."
"No.. even with how I feel set aside, she deserves to know. She's always been honest with everyone. It's time we were honest with her."
"Alright. Let's go find her then."
"Mommy should be meeting with her senshi right now in the council room. I think I'll stay out here a little longer."
As the two adults headed inside, Luna came trotting out. She leapt easily into Small Lady's lap. "Where are those two headed?"
"They're telling mom the truth."
"Really?! Well, I can't say that I disapprove. It won't be easy."
"Luna, I'm so confused! I know Mommy and Daddy belong together, but what about Selena? I mean, doesn't she deserve the kind of love they have? But Daddy's the one she's in love with... Why is fate so cruel to her?! It's not fair!"
"Oh, Small Lady..." Luna sighed softly. "I wish life were as fair as you want it to be. Love does not always end happily, but sometimes it is for the best. Your mother's best friend when she was in junior high, Naru, fell in love with the enemy as he was masquerading as someone else. It turned out he truly cared for her, but in the end, he was killed because of his love because it was viewed as a weakness. There have been numerous people to fall for your mother, and your father's charm has three women in love with him, not just two."
"Three? Who's the third Luna?"
"Setsuna, unfortunately. But we can only hope, in both cases, someone else will come along and take your father's place in their hearts."
"Yeah..."
Meanwhile, in the council room...
"Serenity?"
The queen turned from where she sat at the head of a rectangular table with Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako to look at the two newcomers. She wore a smile, but it slowly fell as she saw the solemn expressions they wore. "Yes, Selena?"
"We need to talk."
Glancing at each other, Serenity's protectors rose and left the room, closing the door behind them. Endymion and Selena sat down to one side of her. Endymion began, starting with his trip to where Selena was, and leading right up to when Queen Serenity had to tell Selena what the council's decision had been. Selena continued, telling the story through sending her daughter on to the future, to when she came and found her on the Moon.
"So... my daughter... is not... mine?"
"No! Serenity, no. That's not what we meant. I suppose, in a way, she belongs to us both, but to you more. You have raised her all these years into the beautiful young woman she is. Endymion and I only felt it was beyond past the time for you to hear the truth."
"Oh, Selena... If only I'd known... I never thought I could be a source of pain to you. But it appears that I've been nothing but that." Serenity buried her face in her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Selena jumped up, pulling her sister into her arms. "I never meant to imply that. It was my decision throughout it all that led me to any pain I might have felt. I had only hoped to save you from it."
Serenity gave a small laugh. "Look at us.. for so long, I was the big sister. Now, apparently, you've taken that role."
Endymion smiled faintly over to the two sisters.
"Oh, I just wish you two had told me sooner... I can't tell you I'm not hurt... but I can't pretend that for the longest time I felt guilty for being in love with Endymion when I knew how you felt about him"
"Don't. You two were meant to be together. We cannot change fate. That's up to the gods... Now, if you'll both excuse me, I feel as if I've been completely wrung of energy. I'm headed to bed." Selena left the room, leaving Serenity and Endymion alone.
"Oh, Endymion... I feel as if she'll never find true happiness. She deserves so much more than that. It's not fair that she must suffer while everyone else around her is so happy."
He let out a long sigh, sinking back into his chair. "I know that, Usako, but what can we possibly do?"
She got up and walked over to him, settling in his lap and curling up against him. "I know you must feel horrible..."
Endymion smirked mirthlessly. "Am I that see-through?"
Sighing softly, she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Everything will work out for the best. I have that much faith in destiny, at least. After all... look at how hard destiny had it keeping us together... And here we are."
Her husband smiled a little, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Serenity, I don't know what I'd do without your ability to always see a bright future in everything."
Serenity smiled serenely. "You'd go totally and completely mad."
Chuckling softly, he kissed her again. "Well, in that case, I'll have to do everything in my power to keep you by my side."
"I don't think that will be a problem." Serenity and Endymion rose and, taking each other's hand, left the council room and headed to bed.
Selena, meanwhile, had wandered back out to the gardens instead of heading to bed. Small Lady had gone inside long ago with Luna not far behind, so she was alone for the time being.
"Selena."
She turned to find Sailor Pluto standing behind her. Smiling faintly, she greeted her old friend.
"Selena... I know at times you feel as if you want your life to end. I know you must because I have felt the same at times, and I have not suffered as much."
"Setsuna, please... I do not need a summary of what I have suffered."
"No. But I have a point. I know you feel this way. But there will come a time when you'll be needed again. I can't promise you happiness. That is in you to decide."
Bewildered slightly, but knowing Setsuna's ways, Selena only nodded her head as the green-haired soldier of Pluto left.
Looking to the midnight black sky, she found the stars shone brightly in the sky, but the Moon could not be seen. Wondering at this seemingly dark omen, she did not dare guess what it meant for the days to come.