Inevitable Disillusion

By The Ambitious Blank

Disclaimer- Kingdom Hearts isn't ours, if that wasn't obvious already. I mean, look at it. Where's the slash? :B

Comments- Right! Blank here, writing the third chappie of the story. ^^; Er, well, most of it, anywho. Fwee.

~*~Chapter 3

"It's okay, you know." Riku whispered softly to Sora, still holding him tightly. Sora sighed quietly, his tense muscles relaxing somewhat. Riku held onto him for a few seconds longer before he released him, a small smile on his face. Sora stared at his friend, studying the facee he thought he'd known. Riku's hair had grown a little longer, going a few inches past his shoulders now. It was so strange, staring up into that face and not seeing those sharp aqua eyes staring back at him.

Riku tilted his head curiously. His hand moved up, hovered near the side of Sora's face, hesitating, before it placed itself directly on Sora's cheek. The younger boy blinked, jerking in mild surprise. Riku's face was turned directly toward him, as if he could see. Sora lowered his eyes, his head resting on Riku's chest. The silver-haired boy clutched him tighter.

"So, you were here the entire time." Sora murmured thoughtfully, his head still pressed to Riku's chest. Riku pulled back a little, his head turning down to "look" at Sora again. His piercing gaze seemed to break through even the thick fabric of the blindfold. Sora reached up, touching the tie that held it there, when Riku suddenly yanked back and smacked his hand away with such force that Sora jerked in pain.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Don't touch that." Riku said, his voice holding the commanding tone of "listen to me or die", a tone that Riku only used when he was absolutely dead serious about something. So Sora dropped his hand, frowning.

"You've changed, Riku."

"And you're telling me you haven't?" The older boy asked. Sora frowned and stuck his lower lip out in one of those old, trademarked pouts of his. Riku gave a small snicker, poking his nose.

"Y'know, a pout generally doesn't work on people who can't see." He said, teasingly. Sora blinked in surprise.

"How did you..?" He trailed off, utterly confused. Riku gave a small chuckle.

"Come on, you practically radiate 'I'm pouting, pay attention to me!'." He said, grinning. Sora sighed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, yeah." He said, not being able to hold back a small smile himself. His heart was lifting. Riku was teasing him, as though things hadn't changed between them. Sora stared upward, at the same blue sky that he and Riku used to watch together, back in the days when they were young, and felt invincible. Back before the days of Keyblades and Heartless, before the fate of the world had been thrown on their shoulders.

We were so happy, then.. even despite our problem with keeping it a secret from Kairi.. we never wanted to disappoint her, did we? Sora thought, that calm smile still on his face. I thought things would always be the same..

~*~

Sora didn't remember when he first felt the change inside of him. It was as if one day he just woke up to discover he was in love, even though he knew it wasn't true. Over time, his best friend had evolved into something more in his trusting eyes, something he hadn't even considered before.

Sora knew he was naïve, and so at first he had doubted his own feelings. Riku never held him, never kissed him, the way Sora sometimes saw the older boys and girls kissing. So why should Sora love him? He had never seen two boys or two girls kissing before, and he wondered if it was somehow wrong.

Sora often read about love, or watched movies with people in love. They always talked about how people's hearts pounded when they were around that person, or how they always thought about that person, or how they shared tender soft kisses.

Sora's heart had never pounded around Riku before, he never even felt desire to kiss him. He just…loved him. All he wanted was for Riku to be happy, and to be with Riku forever. He never felt nervous or shy, or blushed around Riku. He felt…safe. Like Riku would never hurt him. He trusted Riku with all his heart and he wasn't afraid of getting hurt.

"Riku…" Sora had approached him that night, something on his mind that had been there often in recent times.

"Riku, can one boy kiss another boy?" Riku was the oldest boy that Sora knew, and therefore in Sora's mind, the smartest as well. Riku turned towards Sora and smiled and took a step towards him.

"Sora, you goof…" he mumbled softly before closing the distance between them and giving Sora his first kiss. Sora was shocked to feel Riku's lips against his, softly caressing his. Sora realized for the first time, he had absolutely no idea what to do. He tried to move his lips the way Riku was, but he felt awkward and stupid doing so. Riku pulled away, laughing and ruffled Sora's hair.'

"You're an awful kisser Sora!" The brunet blushed and covered his face. He was used to Riku's teasing, but this was just mean.  Riku smiled apologetically, and patted Sora on the head.

"Don't worry…we'll practice some more later on, and you'll get better. I promise."

And Sora knew that even though his heart didn't flutter, it was love.

~*~

Riku whirled around, a brilliant smile on his face, his eyes glimmering brightly in the midday light.

"So are you comin' or what?" He called back, laughing as he turned around again to keep running. Sora scrambled to his feet from the shady spot he'd been sitting in under a palm tree, chasing after his friend. Or would it be his boyfriend? Sora wasn't really all that sure anymore. But, nonetheless, he gave chase, bare feet kicking up sand as he ran, trying hard not to trip like he'd done on more than one occasion.

"Wait up, Riku! I can't run as fast as you!" He yelled, and quite suddenly Riku skidded to a stop, his body twisting around with a quick, graceful movement. Sora yelped as he tried to stop, and Riku opened both arms and caught him as they fell together into the sand.

"Riku! Sora! Where'd you two go?" A voice called out over the beach, and the two boys flinched in surprise, exchanging glances of "oh, crap!" as they scrambled to their feet, quickly seperating themselves. Kairi shouldn't know about them. No.. Kairi couldn't know about them. If she did.. well, the boys were more afraid of how depressed she'd get herself rather than what she would do to them. Sure enough, the small redhead came sauntering up to them a few moments later, blinking.

"Were you two wrestling again or something?" She asked, reaching up and brushing some of the sand out of Sora's spiky hair. Sora snorted and gave his head a shake in an almost dog-like fashion, bits of sand flying from his hair. Riku shielded his face, shooting Sora a look of vague annoyance. Sora shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile back, then turned to Kairi with a big grin.

"Yeah! And guess what? I won this time!" He said, giving her a thumbs up. Riku gave an irritated twitch beside him, and Sora had to try hard to keep from laughing. Kairi didn't notice, instead she looked up at Riku, a little closer than she had to be.

"Really?" She asked, her pretty blue eyes wide as she studied him. Riku blinked, stepping back, rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, y-yeah.." He muttered, wishing she wouldn't try to get so close. She beamed, turning from him and hugging Sora tightly.

"You finally beat him, Sora!!" She said, giggling. Sora blinked in surprise, looking over her shoulder at Riku, who sent him a mock-glare. Sora offered another sheepish grin in return, shrugging faintly as he reached up and awkwardly patted the back of Kairi's shoulder. She pulled away from him, practically bouncing on the tips of her toes.

"Well, this calls for some sort of party.. I know! I'll go cook up some food, and we'll all have lunch together!" She said, clapping her hands excitedly. "Sound good, Sora? Riku?"

The two boys only nodded mechanically. As she dashed off to go start preparing the food, they both fell back onto the sand, laughing.

"Man, I really wish she wasn't the touchy-feely type." Sora commented, stretching out on the warm ground. Riku gave a small chuckle, doing the same.

"Sure is a nice day.. wish we didn't have to spend it all with Kairi, hmm?"

"Yeah." Sora said, giggling to himself. "Just like old times. Nothin' but the boys, right, Riku?"

"Right!" Riku said, grinning over at his friend, rolling over so that he was pinning the other boy to the ground. He smirked down at Sora, leaning down, lips brushing casually over the other's, so calmly that it was apparent that this had happened several times before.

"So.. when should we tell her?" Sora asked. Riku rolled away, sitting in the sand next to Sora.

"..we shouldn't." He said, simply. Sora sat up and scowled over at his platinum-haired friend.

"But we can't just keep it a secret forever! We should tell her, before she finds out on her own!" The younger boy insisted, biting his lip. "Because if she does, she'll be even more hurt than if we just go up and tell her. I know Kairi's like that. She'll get really depressed and stuff, like most girls would."

Riku sighed, looking down into the childish, pleading face of his best friend, reaching over and brushing some of the boy's bangs out of his tanned face.

"I know, I know. We'll tell her, eventually. If the opportunity comes up at this party thing she's planning, we'll try to catch her in a good mood." He reassured Sora, and smiled upon getting a nod from the other boy.

"Race you there!" He said suddenly, leaping to his feet and taking off. Sora's eyes widened, and before he began to react, Riku had already sprinted a few yards away. Sora scrambled to his feet, a grin breaking out on his face, and dashed after.

~*~

Heh. We never told her.. didn't want to break her heart. Sora thought to himself, smiling a little at the memory. Kairi still didn't know.. and at this rate, probably would never know.. the relationship that had existed, and possibly still did, between the two boys. In fact, no one else knew. Not Selphie, Wakka, Tidus, or even their own parents. Riku had always been adamant about keeping it a secret. He'd always insisted upon keeping the others ignorant of it so that they wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings, especially Kairi's.

"We handle her like porcelain.." Sora murmured thoughtfully, earning a glance from his long-lost friend. That is, his long-lost boyfriend.

"Kairi, I mean." Sora elaborated, grinning sheepishly. "We never told her.. no one ever found out about us, did they?" He asked. Riku shrugged.

"No. And I'd really prefer it stays that way."

"Why?"

"Sora." Riku turned to him, and Sora fidgeted, uncomfortable with the seriousness of the whole situation. Riku frowned a bit. "You know we can't tell anyone about what we had. Kairi will be upset, but the others.. the others might try to fix it."

"What's so bad about that?"

"Sora. Look at me." Riku said sharply. Sora blinked, looking his friend up and down. The blindfold and the jacket made Riku look like some character out of some sci-fi movie or something. "I can't ever take these off. Things can't be the same between us. All of us have had our experiences away from here.. none of us are the same people we used to be. We can't have people being naive and thinking that things can go back to exactly the way they were."

"Why not?" Sora asked, frowning.

"Don't you get it?!" Riku snapped, causing Sora to flinch back in surprise. "We aren't the same people we used to be." His tone held a hint of annoyance in it, which told Sora not to interrupt. "We can't.. we can't have what we used to have." He turned away, slumping back against the trunk of a palm tree. Sora's eyes narrowed a bit.

"I don't see what the problem is. If we try hard enough, things can change.. we can--"

"Don't be such an idiot! Sora, do you even remember what happened?! Can you even see what I am now?!" He stepped back, spreading his arms wide. "Can you look at me now and tell me that we can make things the same again? Can you hold onto those memories you have from when you were the Keybearer and still look at me the same way? I hurt you, Sora." Riku turned to his friend, holding his hands out in front of him.

"These hands.. I hurt you with these hands.." He whispered. Sora took a step back, surprised by the quick changes in attitude that Riku went through, doubts beginning to rise in his mind.

No! No.. I have to believe things can be the same again. He thought, fists clenching at his sides. If I don't.. then I might lose Riku forever. I can't have that.. it's unacceptable.

Things have to be the same again.

~*~To Be Continued...

Sorry for the delay in updating! ^^; Next chappie should come quicker than this one, we hope.

~The Carpet Shampoo and The Ambitious Blank

Shampoo: I would like to say, the delay in this chapter was all my fault, as I was a slow and lazy editor. ^^