Disclaimer:  Same as the other chapters.  I own nothing except the OC and the plot.  Anything ripped off from anything else is owned by whoever owns it.

It Attends Classes, and It's Smart

Setting:  the Great Hall, at breakfast.

The MARAUDERS and LILY are sitting at the Gryffindor table.  SIRIUS is eating like there's no tomorrow.

REMUS:  Breathe, Padfoot, breathe.

SIRIUS: between bites of food  I didn't eat dinner last night.  I'm hungry.

The MARY SUE sits down across from JAMES and flashes him a smile.  LILY glares at her.

MARY SUE:  So what classes do we have today?

JAMES:  We?

MARY SUE:  Yes, we.  I have the same classes you do.  I can just choose to attend them with whomever I like.

JAMES:  And whom will you attend them with?

MARY SUE:  I haven't decided yet.  Perhaps Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.  I haven't met them yet.  Attend one class with each House, starting with Potions with you.  How do I get to the dungeon?

NARRATOR:  But the MARY SUE got no answer, for the others had finished eating and left, leaving the MARY SUE to make her own way to the dungeon.

The dungeon.  Gryffindor and Slytherin are waiting for the professor.  JAMES is sitting next to LILY, and REMUS next to SIRIUS, which leaves an open seat for the MARY SUE next to…..

PETER:  groans  Why?  Why did it have to be me this time?

MARY SUE:  Because you're just so adorable.

REMUS and SIRIUS exchange a Look.  REMUS raises an eyebrow.

PROFESSOR McCARTNEY enters.

PROF. McCARTNEY: Good morning class.  Today we'll working on the Abbey Road potion.  It makes whoever drinks it think they're living in a yellow submarine.  Rather useless, but it can be quite amusing.  He smirks.  Your summer homework is due tomorrow, so I suggest that those of you who haven't done it, do it tonight.

MARY SUE:  waving hand in air wildly  Professor!  Professor!

PROFESSOR:  Yes Miss Johnson?

MARY SUE:  As you know, Professor, I'm a transfer student from America.  (A/N:  I have nothing against Americans, I am one myself.  It just made the most sense for her to be a transfer student from America).  I didn't get the homework assignment at the end of last year; therefore I didn't have all summer to do it like everyone else did.

PROFESSOR:  What's your point, Miss Johnson?  Just because they had all summer to do it doesn't mean that they did it over the summer.  Most of the class will be working on it tonight.  You can hand it in tomorrow like the rest of them.  Ask one of your classmates what the assignment was.

The students begin to work on their potions.  SIRIUS leans forward and begins consulting with JAMES in whispers.  "Snivellous" is distinctly audible from the conversation.

REMUS:  hisses  You are not putting Abbey Road potion in Snape's pumpkin juice!

Everyone goes back to work until the class period is over.  It's time to head to History of Magic.

MARY SUE:  Well that was fun.  I think I'll come with you to your next class.

The boys groan.  The girls glare.  They go to History of Magic. 

NARRATOR:  And so they sat through another class in the presence of the MARY SUE.  As they sat and waited for class to be over, the MARY SUE took in every word.  And answered every question.  After the class was over…

SIRIUS:  getting up the courage to say something to the MARY SUE  How do you know all of that?

MARY SUE:  I'm the Mary Sue.  She gets up and trounces off to the Great Hall for lunch.  The others look at each other, confused, then shrug and also go to the Great Hall for lunch.

NARRATOR:  SIRIUS was a few minutes late in joining them for lunch.  When REMUS asked him why, he said he'd had to go back to the dorm to get something.  During lunch, the MARY SUE thankfully ate with Ravenclaw.  She had decided that that afternoon she would attend classes with them, for which the Gryffindors and Slytherins were eternally grateful.  Well, at least they were grateful for the rest of the afternoon.

It is after lunch.  The students are starting to leave the Great Hall to go to classes.  The MARY SUE tries to make a new friend.  She tries to talk to a boy with greasy black hair and a large nose.

MARY SUE:  fawning over Snape  Hi, I don't think we've met.  I'm the Mary Sue.  I think we could be friends.

SNAPE:  singing at the top of his lungs  We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.  We all live in a yellow submarine….

Then, all at the same time….

LUCIUS:  Silencio! 

Snape goes silent.

MARY SUE:  Luscious, you saved that poor boy from making a fool of himself.  You're my hero!

NARCISSA glares at the MARY SUE.  REMUS glances at SIRIUS.  SIRIUS looks innocent.  Like, big puppy dog eyes innocent.  Everyone heads down the hall to their classes, SNAPE occasionally muttering "yellow submarine" under his breath.

END SCENE

~~~~~~

A/N: Coming next…well, I'm not sure what's coming next.  I'll think of something.  And I promise, this is the last time I use The Beatles as inspiration for my fic.  Sorry, Michael Jackson, I didn't mean to step on your copyrighted toes.  Thanks as usual to cracklizard (who I notice hasn't reviewed, ahem) for laughing at my jokes.  A note to SassyBird about frightening dogs:  Sirius is frightened too.  :-)  To the rest of my reviewers, whom I won't name by name because I don't like it when others do it, thanks for the reviews.  Keep 'em coming, and I will too.

Sorry for the long author's note.  I don't usually like long A/N's either...