Disclaimer:  If you still need one of these, go see the previous chapters.

It Doesn't Take Well to Being Pranked

Setting:  the Gryffindor common room.  Students sit around the room, talking to each other.

NARRATOR:  The MARY SUE had been splitting her time between the four common rooms, being a member of all four Houses.  This was her night to spend in the Gryffindor common room.  Most of the students seemed unaware of her presence.  Our prankster protagonists have decided that this is the night to pull their prank.

The MARAUDERS and LILY are sitting in chairs near the fire.  The MARY SUE sits nearby, apparently having decided that tonight they would be her victims again.  She has crossed her legs, doing her best to get attention from anyone, male or female.  It's obvious she's desperate for a little attention, and she's not getting any.  This has her somewhat annoyed.

SIRIUS:  Would anyone like some pumpkin juice?  (A/N: Don't ask why there's pumpkin juice in the common room, there just is.)

REMUS, JAMES, LILY, PETER, and the MARY SUE all nod yes.  SIRIUS hands them all some pumpkin juice.  They pretend to drink, waiting for the MARY SUE to drink hers.  She does.  She instantly becomes invisible, but is unaware that she has.  The rest of them visibly relax.

SIRIUS:  What do all of you think of Professor McCartney?

REMUS:  I'm glad they hired him.  It's about time they found someone for the job who isn't a Slytherin sympathizer.

JAMES:  It's hard to find people for that job though.  I mean, who wants to work in the dungeon, really?

SIRIUS:  I think it's more like they don't want to deal with us, so if they're not already here, they don't want to come.  He grins.

PETER:  If he were an Animagus, what animal do you suppose he'd become?

SIRIUS:  A beetle.  Then he could be like that Muggle singing group.

JAMES:  What do you suppose your parents would think if they heard you talking about Muggle singing groups?

SIRIUS:  shrugs  They already think I'm the "black sheep" of the family.  It probably wouldn't surprise them.

REMUS:  Speaking of new teachers, what about Trelawney, the Divination professor?  What do you think of her?  They say she's a medium.

SIRIUS:  And medium is good.  It's right in the middle.  You know, larger than a small, smaller than a large.

JAMES:  And it's easy to fake her homework.   She can tell you you're going to die a violent death at a young age, but she can't tell that you've faked your homework.

LILY:  Speaking of homework, I need to go to the library.  I'll catch up with you later.  She leaves.

REMUS:  Does she really tell you that you're going to die a violent death at an early age?

JAMES:  All the time.  So much so that I can now tell when she's going to say it.  Although I think I'd rather die a violent death at an early age than endure what she tells Padfoot is going to happen to him.

REMUS:  What does she tell Padfoot?

SIRIUS:  She keeps going on and on about how I'll be accused of a crime that I didn't commit and endure punishment that rightly belongs to someone else.  He scoffs.  As if I'd actually commit a crime!

JAMES:  And you should hear what she says to Peter!

REMUS:  What does she say to Peter?

JAMES:  She says that in a previous decision he chose well, and that soon he will show his true nature.  Which makes the least sense of them all!  James seems to find this rather funny, as he starts to laugh.

MARY SUE:  who is still invisible  Hmm…I wonder what she'd say about me…maybe I should go talk to her sometime.

Most of the people in the room are frightened to hear her voice coming from nowhere, and get up to go somewhere and hide from the incorporeal Mary Sue.  They thought she was bad before; if she can be omnipresent and invisible, that's even worse.  That being the case, they all scramble for the door, running into each other in the process.

SIRIUS:  so that only the Marauders can hear  Trelawney would probably say that she'll find a nice man who will fall head over heels for her and they'll settle down and have lots of kids.

The MARAUDERS laugh at this.  At this moment, the MARY SUE becomes visible again.

MARY SUE:  Hey!  Why are you ignoring me?  I'm the Mary Sue.  You're supposed to worship me!

SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER, and JAMES blink at this comment, then think about other things.

JAMES:  Where's Lily?

SIRIUS:  Hey Prongs when's the first Quidditch match?

REMUS:  I have homework…

PETER:  Worship you?  You're not Lord Voldemort!  Mwahahahaha!  Suddenly he realizes what he's saying and stops.  Uh, I think I have homework too.  He leaves.

SIRIUS:  Well, we always did think he was a little odd…

The three of them get up and follow PETER up to the dorm to retrieve their homework, still talking about PETER'S oddness.  The MARY SUE is the only person left in the room.

MARY SUE:  Well I never.  How is it that they can resist me when so many others have fallen under my spell?  Something must be done about this.

END SCENE

~~~~~~~

A/N:  I know that one wasn't very funny, but they'll get better in the future, I promise.  I also know that Trelawney wasn't teaching at Hogwarts in the time of the Marauders, but this is my story and I can do with it what I like.  I didn't want to make up another professor.  You saw what happened the last time I did that.  Next chapter:  the first Quidditch match of the year!  Also, what is the Mary Sue planning to do about everybody ignoring her?  Stay tuned for more!